Umxholo
Fait accompli
Into esele yenzekile okanye ekugqitywe ngayo phambi kokuba abo bachaphazelekayo beve ngayo, ibashiya bengenandlela yimbi ngaphandle kokuba bayamkele. ”
Kukho indawo enokubambeka phakathi kwegama lokuqala lokuxela kunye / okanye ukufumanisa kunye nesiqalo seengxaki zokungathembeki emtshatweni. Oku akwenzeki kulowo ungcatshwayo kuphela kodwa nakwalowo ungcatshiweyo.
Ngulo mzuzu apho ubomi, njengesibini, bunqunyanyisiweyo. Nayiphi na intshukumo okanye isenzo esibonakalayo senza ukuba esi sibini sizive ngathi yonke into iyakuqhekeka okanye yahlukane.
Kukho ukuphazamiseka kweemvakalelo kunye neengcinga ezilandela ukufumanisa ukungathembeki emtshatweni:
- Kuqhubekani? Yintoni ekufuneka yenzekile?
- Bangoobani, okanye baya kuba ngubani ngexesha / emva kokubhengezwa kunye nokwenza izinto elubala.
- Ngaba siya kuyenza le nto? Ngaba ndifuna ukuyigqiba okanye ndihambe?
Yilapho imeko eyadlulayo, yangoku kunye nekamva isiza ngokudibana ngenxa yemibuzo ethile:
- Iqale njani lento / andazi ukuba iqale njani lento. (Edlulileyo)
- Usambona lomntu? Ngubani lo mntu? (Okwangoku)
- Ithetha ukuthini le nto ngomtshato wethu apha ngaphandle? Ngaba uza kundishiya / uqhawule umtshato nam? (Ixesha elizayo)
Ukuqala kwezi ntlobo zemibuzo kugxininisa kubo bobabini indoda nomfazi ukuba fait accompli bangene emtshatweni wabo, kusapho lwabo, kwaye kuphazamise ulindelo lwabo "bonwabile ngonaphakade".
Ukukopa emtshatweni okanye ukukopela kubudlelwane yinto enzima kubo bonke abantu abatshatileyo. Ingaziva inganyamezeleki ngokungathi sisiphelo sehlabathi.
Nangona kunjalo, fait accompli inokuba sisiphelo somtshato wakudala kwaye, ukuba isibini sifuna ukubuyiselwa, ukuqala komtsha.
Njengesibini okanye umntu, umntu uhamba njani fait accompli Ukungathembeki emtshatweni? Zeziphi iingxaki ekusingatheni ukungcatshwa kubudlelwane?
Nguwuphi umbuzo omnye ekufuneka ubuziwe ngeli xesha ukuze uqonde ngcono ukuba uphi kweli nqanaba lokuqala lokungathembeki emtshatweni?
Omnye wemibuzo emikhulu kunye nemalunga nomntu ngamnye othatha inxaxheba kwibali lokungcatsha uthanda ukubuza: Kuthetha ntoni ukungathembeki?
Njengabantu abatshatileyo, umntu ngamnye, kunye nomntu abathandanayo abonisa indima abayidlalayo, baqala ukucacisa nokutolika isenzo sokungathembeki emtshatweni ukuze basindise umtshato, baqhawule umtshato / umcimbi, kwaye babone ukuba yintoni enye Iindima zikwibali lokungcatsha / lomtshato.
Ukungathembeki emtshatweni
Xa ukungathembeki kuphazamisa umtshato, isidingo sokuqonda imiba yokungcatshwa kunye nendlela ekubangele ngayo ukutshintsha kobudlelwane bomnqophiso iba yinto ebonakalayo yomzuzu ngomzuzwana kubomi babo bemihla ngemihla.
Esi sibini sichaphazelekayo siyasokola ukucacisa okanye ukufumana ukuba kuthetha ntoni ukungathembeki, kunye nokufunda ngokwazi ukuba kutheni kunokuba yingxaki.
Abantu banenkcazo yabo yokuba kukungathembeki kuyintoni okanye inokuba yintoni na enokubangela ukuba abatshatileyo kunye nabalingane babo ukuba bathethelele ngokungachanekanga, banciphise, okanye babele ukuba loluphi uhlobo lokungcatsha ngokuchanekileyo.
Amaxesha amaninzi, abantu bayakholelwa ukuba ukungathembeki emtshatweni kuthathelwa ingqalelo kunokuba kuthathwe isenzo esipheleleyo-esidala ukungavisisani kokuqala kunye nokudideka kwabo bobabini abatshatileyo, umntu othandana naye kunye noluntu ngokubanzi.
Ngokwesichazi-magama, Ukungathembeki ine:
- Ukungathembeki emtshatweni; ukukrexeza.
- Ukunganyaniseki.
- Ukwaphula ukuthembana; ukreqo
- Ukungabikho kokholo okanye ukungagungqi, ngakumbi ukungathembeki ngokwesondo
- Ukungabikho kokholo; ukungakholelwa
- Isenzo okanye umzekelo wokunganyaniseki
Icandelo elilandelayo libonelela uluhlu olupheleleyo lwento ethathwa njengokungathembeki, njengoko kucetyisiwe nguDave Willis, umfundisi, umbhali kunye nesithethi ngobomi bomtshato.
Iindlela ezili-12 zokungathembeki emtshatweni
- Ukufihla inyani yokuba utshatile-ingqikelelo "yokufumaneka" (ukudlala ngothando, ukususa iringi yomtshato, ukungatshati).
- Ukunyaniseka okuphambili komnye umntu okanye kwenye into ngaphandle kweqabane lakho.
- Iphonografi, i-erotica, kunye neenoveli zemizobo yothando. Ukwenza iminqweno yesondo ngaphandle kweqabane (ukungathembeki kwengqondo). Konke ukusondelelana okwenyani kunye nakho konke ukungathembeki kuqala engqondweni.
- Ukujonga abanye abantu.
- Ukugcina iimfihlo kwiqabane lakho
- Isongelo soqhawulo mtshato
- Imicimbi yeemvakalelo-ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo + imfihlo
- Ukwala ukuvuma impazamo okanye ucele uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo
- Ukungabonakali xa iqabane lakho lifuna ukuba unqande uncedo
- Ukuzama "ukuphumelela" ingxabano neqabane lakho-ukuzama ukuphumelela ngeqabane lakho; uhlobo lwentembeko eyaphukileyo kunye nokunyaniseka (Ukwiqela elinye)
- Imicimbi yezesondo (kuzo zonke iintlobo zesondo / indlela yokuziphatha) -esona senzo sokugqibela sokuthembana kunye nokunyaniseka
- Ukunikezela omnye komnye
Siza kuqhubeka ukujongana nalo mbandela ngokusebenzisa amagama abuza imibuzo ukusasaza, ukuchonga, kunye nokuqonda ukusebenza kwangaphakathi kokungcatsha emtshatweni. Kwinqaku elilandelayo, siza kugxila kwindlela ukunganyaniseki okungena ngayo kulwalamano lomtshato.