Umxholo
- Umzekelo wobomi bokwenene
- Xa unxibelelana emtshatweni, zininzi iindawo apho unokuqhekeka khona
- Mamela
- Ungavumeli ukungavisisani kwincoko kuphume esandleni
- Qiniseka ukuba nezingxoxo eziqhubekayo malunga nolwalamano lwakho
- Thintela “Soloko” kwaye "Ungaze"
- Yiba nolwazi
- Uninzi lwezibini ziya kuxabana ngamanye amaxesha
Kumsebenzi wam njengonyango, abantu bahlala bendibuza "Ungasinceda?"
Lo mbuzo uhlala uvela xa injongo yonyango lwezibini, xa ndinabantu ababini abahleli phambi kwam benethemba lokugcina ubudlelwane babo. Eyona ndlela ilula yokuchaza indlela umntu alwenza ngayo unyango lwezibini ukubonisa ukuba uninzi lwayo lunceda abantu ababini abaseofisini ukuba beve kwaye baqondane.
Ndithi kakhulu, "le ndiyivayo ukuba uyayithetha ngu-X," kwaye xa usenza / utsho njalo, itywina iqhosha kuye kwaye emva koko angabinakho okomzuzwana okanye eve eyona nto uzama ukuyithetha. ”
Umzekelo wobomi bokwenene
Ndakhe ndeza nesibini esitshatileyo kuba befuna ukusebenza kwimiba ethile yonxibelelwano ngaphambi kokutshata. Kuze kube ziiseshoni ezimbalwa apho ndaye ndabona ukuba isikhalazo sakhe asibonisayo njengesinyanzelayo, sinyanzelisa, ngamanye amaxesha ukungcungcuthekisa, bekuyinxalenye kuba isiNgesi ibingelolwimi lakhe lokuqala. Ukugxininisa kwakhe kunye nendlela acela ngayo izicelo zihlala zivakala njenge-staccato, blunt, kunye nomba wenyani. Waziva ebuza umbuzo olula, “Ungawukhupha inkunkuma?” kodwa yavela kwathiwa “NGABA UNGATHATHA. NGAPHANDLE. THE. ITHRAFI! ” Ukubonisa ukungakhathali kwentetho yakhe, ngokuchaseneyo neethoni ezithambileyo zeqabane lakhe kunye nesimo sengqondo sokuhamba ngokulula, kwamnceda ukuba abone ukuba mhlawumbi akazami kumlawula, kodwa yindlela awayethetha ngayo nokuba wayethetha ntoni . Wafunda ukuwuva ngcono umyalezo wakhe kwaye wafunda nokuwenza ithoni. Ndikhulele eBrooklyn, singxola kwaye singqale ngqo — bendinokuvelana nelizwi lomntu elinokuthi likhokelele kwabanye ukuba babonise umsindo okanye ubukhosi apho kungekho mntu.
Xa unxibelelana emtshatweni, zininzi iindawo apho unokuqhekeka khona
Asisoloko simamela omnye nomnye njengoko kufanelekile, kuba sihlala sicinga ngento esifuna ukuyithetha ngokulandelayo, nokuba athini amaqabane ethu. Siyakholelwa ukuba siyazazi izizathu ezisisiseko zeqabane lethu. Sonke sinakho ukubanegalelo ekuqhekekeni konxibelelwano: nkqu nathi ziingcali abathi ngokuzolileyo bancede abanye abantu ukuba basombulule iingxaki zabo, emva koko beze ekhaya baphikisane namaqabane ethu ngezinto ezihlala zingenamsebenzi.
Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokuphucula unxibelelwano phakathi kwabatshatileyo, ezinokukunceda ukuthintela indlela eqhelekileyo yokulwa malunga nezinto ezifanayo amaxesha ngamaxesha.
Mamela
Oku kubonakala kulula kakhulu, kodwa kufanelekile ukuba uqaphele. Rhoqo asimameli kwinto ethethwa ngamaqabane ethu. Siva oko thina cinga bathi, sinika injongo kule nto bayithethayo, asikuthathi oko bakuthethayo ngokwexabiso, kwaye sizisa ezethu iingcinga, iikhasethi ezenza ukuba singobani, etafileni. Xa sisilela ukumamela ngalo mzuzu, sinokuphendula kwinto esicinga ukuba umntu uthetha ngayo kunokuba athethe ntoni.
Oku kuyenzeka xa inkosikazi icela indoda ukuba inxibelelane nezicwangciso zayo zempelaveki kwaye iyitolike njengekhuthazayo kuba ibuyela ebuntwaneni ikhathaza malunga nokuba ikuphi, okanye xa indoda iveza inkxalabo yokuba umfazi wayo usebenza kakhulu, kwaye uyayibona Ukuswela kwakhe, ukumfuna macala onke, angakhathazeki ukuba udiniwe. Kuya kufuneka siwuve ngenene umyalezo, kwaye asinakukwenza oko ngaphandle kokuba simamele.
Ungavumeli ukungavisisani kwincoko kuphume esandleni
Ngale nto ndiyithethayo, ngaba usebenza ngaphezulu kunokuba kufanelekile ukuba umyeni wakho alibale ukuthenga ubisi? Ngaba le ncoko imalunga nobisi? Ukuba kunjalo, khawuphume. Ukuba kukho ipateni ekwenzayo ukuba ube nomsindo, yidlulise loo nto, kodwa ungaphakamisi ilizwi lakho phezu kobisi, kuba kunzima kakhulu ukuba nengxoxo enzulu malunga nemiba yobudlelwane xa umntu esenza into ebaxiweyo. Ukuba kukho ingxaki enkulu, jongana nengxaki enkulu, kodwa ukukhala ngobisi olityelweyo kubeka omnye umntu ekuzikhuseleni kuba impendulo ayihambelani "nolwaphulo-mthetho"
Qiniseka ukuba nezingxoxo eziqhubekayo malunga nolwalamano lwakho
Ngaba babe kwiindawo ezingathathi hlangothi. Kwaye ubenazo ngamaxesha athile, hayi xa ushushu ubushushu bempikiswano. Ukuthetha xa uhambahamba okanye xa usenza izinto kunye endlini kunokubanamathuba amahle okuba, “Uyayazi loo ngxabano besinayo ngenye imini, kanye eyona nto ibindihlupha, ndiye ndaqonda, ngu-X, kodwa andiyenzi ' Ndicinga ukuba ndakwazi ukunxibelelana nabantu ngelo xesha. ” Ukuba ungawuthetha lo mbandela xa kungekho mntu uvutha ngumsindo, ungaqonda ukuba izimvo zakho ngalo mbandela ziyafana, kodwa awuzange udibane nezimvo zakho.
Musa ukuzikhathaza ngokulala unomsindo
Akuzange kube nengqondo kum, le mbono yokuba ukuze ube nomtshato olungileyo awufanelanga ukuba ulale unomsindo. Ukuba ubukhe waxabana kwaye ayisombululeki kwaye udiniwe, yiya kulala. Amathuba kukuba uninzi lomsindo kunye noxinzelelo ziya kube zichithakele ebusuku, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukujonga okutsha kusasa kuya kukunceda ubone indlela yokuchaza ngcono into owawunomsindo ngayo kwasekuqaleni. Rhoqo iimpikiswano azizukusombululwa kwangoko, kwaye kulungile ukuhamba, uye kulala, ubeke itafile umba, okanye nantoni na eyenye efunekayo ukumisa umjikelo wokugxekana kunye nokuphikisana ngento engazukusonjululwa kwangoko .
Thintela “Soloko” kwaye "Ungaze"
Kulula kakhulu, xa kukho into eyenzekayo, ukwenza umsindo wethu ube munye, njengaku, "UHLALA ulibale ubisi," (kunye nomxholo, "kuba awuzikhathalelanga iimfuno zam nezinto endizifunayo"). Okanye "UNGAZE ukhethe iimpahla zakho phantsi" (mhlawumbi ayiyonyani). Nje ukuba singene rhoqo kwaye singaze sithethe, amaqabane ethu azikhusela. Awungekhe? Ukuba umntu uthe UHLALA ulibala ubisi, amaxesha othathe konke ukutya kuluhlu acinyiwe. Ke usempikiswaneni malunga nokuba ulibele kangaphi ubisi xa kuthelekiswa nokuba ungakhange uliphindaphinde kangaphi, kwaye iba sisidenge.
Yiba nolwazi
Mhlawumbi okona kubaluleke kakhulu, kukwazi ezethu izinto ezibangela ukuba sizive kunye neemvakalelo zethu kubalulekile emtshatweni. Ngaba ndiyaphambana ngokwenene ukuba umyeni wam akenzanga nto, okanye ngaba ndiziva ndisolulekile emsebenzini, kwaye ukongamela okumsulwa kundenza ndizive ngathi kuninzi endikwenzayo kwipleyiti? Ngaba ndiziva ndiphazanyisiwe ngumbuzo womfazi wam malunga nezicwangciso zam zempelaveki, okanye ngaba impendulo yamadolo ukusukela ebuntwaneni bam? Ngaba kufanelekile ukuba siphikisane neqabane lam malunga noku, okanye ngaba ndingaphezulu nje ngenxa yokuba bendinosuku olude kwaye le ntloko indenza ndonwabe?
Uninzi lwezibini ziya kuxabana ngamanye amaxesha
Ngapha koko, uphononongo lubonakalisile ukuba zizibini ezitshatileyo sukuyenza baphikisane nabona kunokwenzeka ukuba baqhawule umtshato, kuba bavumela iingxaki zikhule kwaye bangachazi ukungoneliseki kwabo xa kufuneka njalo. Ngamanye amaxesha, ewe, iimpikiswano ziya kuba zizidenge; ukuba uhlala nomntu, nokuba liqabane, umzali, umntakwenu, okanye umntu ohlala naye egumbini, ngamanye amaxesha uyakuphela uphikisana ngezinto ezingenamsebenzi. Kodwa ukuba ungazinciphisa iingxoxo ezingenamsebenzi, nokuba usebenzisa uburharha ukunciphisa imeko ngaphambi kokuba ibe yingxabano, kwaye uchithe ixesha lakho ukukhupha ezona zinto zibalulekileyo, usendleleni eya kunxibelelwano olungcono.