Umxholo
- 1. Vumela ukuhamba kwexesha elidlulileyo ngovelwano
- 2. Thatha isigqibo sokuba ufuna ntoni kubudlelwane obutsha
- 3. Khangela uthando usebenzisa izixhobo zanamhlanje
- 4. Eyona ndlela ikhawulezayo yokuthandana
- 5.Ulugcina njani uthando wakube ulufumene
Xa wawusemncinci indlela yesiNtu yokuthandana yayiqonde ngqo: thandana, utshate, ube nabantwana. Ukufumana njani ukusebenza kothando xa wehlile ngaloo ndlela, okanye uhlobo oluthile lwayo, sele ulwenzile? Indawo yokuthandana itshintshile, ungubani nento oyifunayo itshintshile; utshintshile.
Uthatha nawe ukuya kwimihla yokuqala kunye nobudlelwane obutsha kuzo zonke izinto ezenze ubomi bakho: ikhondo lomsebenzi, abantwana, abazukulwana, iinkumbulo zabathandekayo, iintlungu zobuhlobo obuvela kubudlelwane obudlulileyo, ikhaya, indlela yokuphila, izinto ozithandayo kunye nokunye. Ngabo bonke obu bomi ubuphile kunye nawe kunye nabo bonke ubomi obushiyileyo ukuze uphile phambi kwakho, wenzeka njani omnye umhla, uthandane, kwaye ubophe iqhina ngexesha okanye emva kweminyaka yobudala?
1. Vumela ukuhamba kwexesha elidlulileyo ngovelwano
Nokuba iqabane lakho langaphambili liswelekile okanye nahlukene, xa uphulukana nomntu omthandayo, uphulukana nezinto ezininzi ngaxeshanye: umntu, ubudlelwane, indlela ophila ngayo enabelana ngayo, uncedo abaninike lona, kunye nezicwangciso enizenzileyo kunye. Ukutshintsha into ophulukene nayo akukho lula, kodwa kuyafuneka; usenobomi obuseleyo bokuphila.
Ukuqhubela phambili ukusuka kwilahleko akwenzeki kwangoko, kwaye akufuneki. Ifuna ukuzivumela ukuba ube buhlungu ngokupheleleyo kwaye uyeke ulindelo lokuba uya kufumana ikopi ngqo yothando lwakho lwangaphambili. Umlingane wakho wayehlukile, kwaye ubudlelwane bakho babunjalo. Akukho mntu mtsha uya kuba nakho ukugcwalisa izihlangu zeqabane lakho elidala ngendlela efanayo. Zivumele ukuba ube lusizi malunga noku, uzive zonke ezo mvakalelo, wazi ukuba yintoni oyishiya ngasemva, kwaye emva kokuba unayo, qhubela phambili kwinyathelo 2.
2. Thatha isigqibo sokuba ufuna ntoni kubudlelwane obutsha
Awunakufumana uthando olutsha ukuba awuyazi into oyifunayo. Bhala uluhlu lwazo zonke izinto onethemba lokuzifumana kwiqabane. Cinga malunga nokuba ufuna ishumi leminyaka elizayo okanye amashumi eminyaka yobomi bakho ukuba abukeke njani. Luhlobo luni lweqabane elinokuba liqabane elifanelekileyo kolo hambo?
Ukuba uyakuthanda ukuhamba, mhlawumbi uya kufuna ukufumana umntu oza kuzonwabisa. Ukuba uhlala uphupha ngokuthatha umhlala phantsi kwikhabhathi echibini, uya kufuna ukufumana umntu ongaphandle. Kwakhona cinga ngeempawu ozijongayo emntwini- uburharha, ububele nemfesane, ukunxanelwa ulwazi.
3. Khangela uthando usebenzisa izixhobo zanamhlanje
Ukuthandana kusenokwenzeka kutshintshe kakhulu ukusukela oko wagqibela ukukwenza. Ingabonakala inzima kwasekuqaleni. Ukuthatha inxaxheba endaweni yokulahleka okuncedayo kuya kukunceda womelele. Unako ukuthatha uncedo ukuthandana apps ukufumana uthando olutsha.
Xa ubhala iprofayile yakho kwaye ulayishe iifoto zakho kwiiapps, uthembeke kwaye uyinyani. Inqaku liphela kukuhlangana nomntu ngobuqu kwaye uzame ukwenza unxibelelwano. Yintoni injongo yokususa iminyaka ukusuka kubudala bakho okanye i-intshi ukusuka kubude bakho ukuba ujonga umntu oza kukuthanda wena? Yiba nguwe. Uyamangalisa kwaye uyamangalisa kwaye ufanelwe luthando, kwaye kufanelekile ukuba ube kunye nomntu onokuba ngumntu wenene kuye.
4. Eyona ndlela ikhawulezayo yokuthandana
Imisebenzi ihlala ihlala ingcono, kwaye iyakhawuleza, indlela yokusondela emntwini kunokuba iincoko zikhona. Xa sisenza into evuselela ulonwabo okanye uloyiko- njengokuya kwiklabhu yamahlaya okanye ukukhwela iirollercoaster - iingqondo zethu zikhupha i-oxytocin, ebizwa ngokuba yi "love hormone" ngenxa yempembelelo yayo ekudibaneni. Endaweni yokuphuma uye kudla nomntu onomdla kuye, yenza into eyonwabisayo okanye eyoyikisayo (ngendlela elungileyo) nabo. Uya kusondela, ngokukhawuleza, ngaloo ndlela.
5.Ulugcina njani uthando wakube ulufumene
Xa abantu besithi olona lwalamano lubalaseleyo "luthathe umsebenzi," oko akuthethi ukuba ubudlelwane zive njengomsebenzi onzima. Bathetha ukuba: ubudlelwane obulungileyo abenzeki ngengozi. Ayisiyongozi xa abantu ababini besenza indawo ekhuselekileyo, engenakugweba apho banokwabelana khona nabanye; lukhetho. Izakhono zonxibelelwano ezisempilweni- ukuthembeka kunye nokungafihli nto kunye nokuzimisela ukumamela kunye nokuqonda- kuyenzeka.
Ukugcina iintlantsi zothando ziphila, yenza ukhetho ntsasa nganye uvuka wenze into eya kuphucula iimvakalelo zothando phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho, kwaye ngaloo ndlela yonyuse i-oxytocin. Xa iihormoni eziqhuba iminqweno yesini ziyehla njengoko uneminyaka yobudala, ziihormone zothando eziza kugcina inkanuko iqhubeka. Sebenzisa amagama kunye nezenzo ukubonisa uthando, kwaye ucwangcise kwaye nenze imisebenzi eyonwabisayo kunye ukugcina izinto ziphila.
Ukufumana uthando olutsha kufuna ukuziqonda ngokwakho iimfuno zakho kunye nokuzimisela ukufikelela kwabanye ukuba bathathe inxaxheba ekuzizalisekiseni. Kwaye kubandakanya ukuzenzela imfesane, umonde, kunye nengqondo evulekileyo njengoko ufumana indlela yakho entsha eya phambili.