Umxholo
- Ngaba ukubetha abantwana kuyonzakalisa kwaye akunamandla?
- Ungasithatha njani isigqibo unolwazi?
- Kuyenzeka ukuba ufumane imbeko emntwaneni wakho ngemida efanelekileyo
- Ubushushu bomsindo buba yinto yexesha elidlulileyo
Ukubetha abantwana sisihloko esivuselelayo. Abanye abazali bakholelwa ngentliziyo iphela ukuba ukubetha abantwana njengendlela yoqeqesho kulungile xa abanye bephazamiseka kukucinga. Sisifundo esikhohlisayo, ikakhulu kuba abantu ngokubanzi, njengezinye izidalwa ezininzi bafunda kwabo bahamba phambi kwabo- kwaye ke ukuba wohlwaywa ngokubethwa njengomntwana kwaye ungawuqondi umonakalo onokubakho okanye onokubangela oko Iyaqondakala into yokuba ungakuthathela ingqalelo ukubetha abantwana kulungile. Kuyafaneleka ukuba uqonde ukuba inkqubo yokufunda kubadala bakho yindlela eqhelekileyo kunye neqhelekileyo yokuphuhlisa nokucacisa izenzo zakho.
Nangona kunjalo, uninzi lwabantu ababesandulele ukwenza iimpazamo, uluntu ngokuqhubekayo luyazenza iimpazamo, kwaye ukuba asizithathele ngqalelo kwaye silungise isenzo sethu endaweni yokwenza ngokungazi sisebenza ngendlela esasifundiswe ngayo, emva koko nathi sinokwenza iimpazamo ezifanayo nezookhokho bethu. Kwaye, ngekhe siqhubele phambili kakhulu eluntwini ukuba besiza ebomini ngokungazi, siphinda elidlulileyo.
I-Yikes-ukuba besiyenzile sonke siyazi ukuba kunjani ukubethwa kunye nokungeniswa!
Inqaku lelokuba ukubethwa kwabantwana kwakuyinto 'eqhelekileyo' kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini okanye amashumi amathathu eyadlulayo, oko akuthethi ukuba kulungile.
Ngaba ukubetha abantwana kuyonzakalisa kwaye akunamandla?
Ukubetha abantwana kungqineke kuyonakalisa ingqondo yengqondo yomntwana kunye nophuhliso kwizifundo ezininzi ezinde. Sisenzo sokohlwaya nokunganiki mandla ukuba xa uninzi lwabazali luziqonda iziphumo, sithandabuza ukuba kungade kubekho nengxoxo malunga nokuba ukubetha abantwana kufanelekile okanye akunjalo.
Siyazi ukuba abazali ababetha abantwana bayabathanda abantwana babo kwaye bafuna okona kulungileyo kubo kanye njengomzali ochasene nokubetha abantwana. Injalo into yokuba abo babetha abantwana kusenokwenzeka ukuba khange bathathe xesha lokujonga izenzo zabo, baphande ngeziphumo zokubetha abantwana kwaye ngekhe bafunde ezinye iindlela zokuqeqesha umntwana wabo.
Kwaye masinyaniseke, kuya kubakho abazali abangafuni ukufunda, okanye abangakwaziyo ukuziqeqesha ngokwaneleyo ukuze bakhe kwaye bagcine imida ecacileyo nethembekileyo yabantwana babo - siyayifumana, kukuchukumisa.
Kwaye ngeli xesha eli nqaku linokuphakamisa iintsiba ezithile, nceda, phambi kokuba uvuke ngumsindo, okanye udubule umthunywa zibuze oku- Kutheni ukhawuleza ukuphendula kule ngxelo? Ngaba ukhe wazama ukuqonda ukuba uluncedo kangakanani kwaye uphumelele kakhulu kuhlobo olululo lokuziphatha olukulo kumntwana ngoku naxa sele ebudaleni?
Ukuba awukabinayo, kwaye unabantwana ayiloxesha lokuba ufunde inqaku elinye ukuze ufumane okungakumbi, okanye uthathe imizuzu emihlanu ukubonakalisa ukuba ukubetha abantwana kuyinyamekele ngokwenene eyona nto ilungileyo yomntwana wakho entliziyweni?
Ungasithatha njani isigqibo unolwazi?
Kuyenzeka ukuba xa usenza olu phando, kwaye uvule ingqondo yakho okwexeshana ezimbalwa ukuze ufumanise ukuba kukho izinto ezithile ngokubetha abantwana ocinga ngazo kunye neminye imiba yeendlela ezizezinye kunye neziphumelele kakhulu zoqeqesho onokuthi ube nazo ukungahoywa.
Ewe kunjalo, le patheni yokujonga into eluncedo yinto eqhelekileyo kwaye ibethelele kuthi kodwa akufuneki ibenjalo. Ukukhulisa abantwana ngumceli mngeni kwaye akukho mntu ugqibeleleyo kodwa unethuba lokufaka utshintsho kwaye ufumane nezona ndlela zibhetele zokunceda umntwana wakho ukuba abe ngumntu omkhulu othembekileyo ekufuneka eba nguye.
Kuyenzeka ukuba ufumane imbeko emntwaneni wakho ngemida efanelekileyo
Ngeendlela zokususa uqeqesho olusondeleyo kunye nemida eqinileyo ngekhe utyhalelwe kude kude kube ngoku ngumntwana wakho kangangokuba ucinga nokuthatha abantwana njengesohlwayo kwakhona - abantwana bakho banokubonakala ngathi ziingelosi.
Zininzi iindlela zobugcisa eziyimpumelelo ezifumanekayo ukunqanda ukubetha abantwana njengendlela yoqeqesho, kwaye uninzi luyafumaneka simahla kwi-Intanethi- kuthatha nje uphando kunye nokugxila. Kodwa lumka, njengoko uqala ukwenza olu tshintsho umntwana wakho uya kuqhankqalaza.
Umntwana wakho uya kucela umngeni kumanqanaba okuqala okutshintsha indlela oqhuba ngayo ekhaya kunye nemida yakho emitsha kuba ngekhe bazive belawula. Kodwa ukuba ucinga ngomdlalo omde le mida iya kuthintela umntwana ekubeni ande indlela abaziphethe ngayo ukuya kwinqanaba apho ubunakho kwaye uqinisekise umntwana wakho-abayazi loo nto okwangoku.
Ewe abantwana bakho abayi kuyithanda imithetho ekuqaleni, nangona kunjalo, njengoko beyifunda, kwaye beqonda ukuba kufuneka benze ntoni bafunda ukuxhomekeka kulandelelwano olwenzekayo lweziganeko, ezibanceda bazive bekhuselekile kwaye beqinisekile, Umhlaba wabo ukhuselekile kwaye bangakuthemba ngokungagungqiyo. Xa ufika kweli nqanaba uya kufumanisa ukuba abantwana bakho baya kuhamba ngokubanzi nezicwangciso zakho ngaphandle kwengxabano enkulu.
Ubushushu bomsindo buba yinto yexesha elidlulileyo
Iintsuku zokucaphuka ngumsindo, iindlela ezingapheliyo zokulala, kunye nokuhamba nzima kuya kuphela, kwaye xa umntwana wakho ekhula eba mkhulu kakhulu ukuba angabetha, baya kuyihlonipha imida yakho.
Oko kuthetha ukuba xa ucela umntu wakho omdala ukuba angenzi nto okanye angathethi nabo malunga nokukhetha kwabo okungalunganga kwaye ukuba ufuna ukubacela ukuba bahlale bekhuselekile iminqweno yakho kunye nelizwi lakho liya kuhlonitshwa, livunywe kwaye lixoxwe endaweni yokungahoywa- nto leyo ihlala ityala lomntwana oye waqeqeshwa ngesenzo sokubetha abantwana.
Nguwuphi umphumo oya kukhetha?