Umxholo
- 1. Unxibelelwano olusempilweni nolwakhayo
- 2. Ukwamkela iiyantlukwano zakho
- 3. Ukuchukumisa okuphilisayo
- 4. Ukukhula ngokwabantu ngabanye kunye
Uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo ngesiquphe bazifumana bekwindawo apho ulwalamano lwabo lufuna ukuphuculwa- kakubi. Isenokuba yiyo nayiphi na imeko yesigidi sokuba kutheni umtshato wabo ungasebenzi.
Kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba bayabanda njengeqhwa okanye kwimilo yesiqhelo yemihla ngemihla eyenza isihogo sivakale njengendawo entle onokuchitha kuyo iholide yakho. Kodwa, ukuba uzimisele ukuqhubeka nokuhlala emtshatweni, kutheni ungenzi umzamo ukuyenza ibe mnandi?
Nazi iziseko ezine zabo bonke ubudlelwane obuhle kunye nendlela yokusebenza kuzo ukulungisa umtshato wakho.
1. Unxibelelwano olusempilweni nolwakhayo
Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kulo naluphi na ulwalamano lunxibelelwano. Unxibelelwano olwakhayo luyimfuneko kwishishini, kubuhlobo, kwaye, ngakumbi, emtshatweni.
Nangona kunjalo, emtshatweni, ngaphezulu kwako nakuphi na ukunxibelelana kwabantu, unxibelelwano kuhlala kungonelanga, okanye kuyityhefu eqinisekileyo.
Zininzi izinto ezingafaniyo zonxibelelwano olungenampilo, ukusuka ekurhoxiseni ukuya kugonyamelo lomlomo.
Nokuba ungakanani umgangatho wonxibelelwano emtshatweni wakho, ngokuqinisekileyo unokuphuculwa. Nokuba ezona zibini zonwabileyo zihlala zinento yokusebenza kule ndawo. Ukuba unqwenela ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho, qala ngokuhlalutya iipateni zonxibelelwano emtshatweni wakho. Unokuthatha uvavanyo lokuqinisekisa ukumisela isitayile sakho sonxibelelwano, umzekelo.
Emva koko, zinikele ixesha lokufunda ngonxibelelwano olusempilweni. Umzekelo, kunqande ukusetyenziswa kokuhlasela ulwimi "Wena" kwaye ubeke endaweni yalo ngo "Mna" izivakalisi endaweni yoko. Qaphela umahluko phakathi: "Undenza umsindo" kwaye "Ndiyakhathazeka xa usitsho into enjalo".
Mininzi eminye imithetho efanayo yonxibelelwano olusempilweni onokuthi uyenze kwaye kufuneka uyenze kubudlelwane bakho ukuyiphucula.
2. Ukwamkela iiyantlukwano zakho
Ukuba umtshato wakho awusafani nakuqala, isenokuba kungenxa yokuba unamathele kwindlela ohluke ngayo. Okanye ucaphukisa kangakanani umahluko okhoyo, ngakumbi ngokuchanekileyo. Ukuqala kwakho ukuthandana, izinto bezingahlukanga kwaphela. Ubudinwe yiyo yonke into malunga neqabane lakho oza kuba nalo.
Ngoku, emva kweminyaka idlulile, awusacingi ukuba iqabane lakho ekubeni sisibindi lokwenza umazibuthe njengangaphambili. Beniyithanda indalo yakhe ekhululekileyo, kodwa ngoku yinto ehlala ihleli yokungavisisani phakathi kwenu nobabini, ngakumbi nabantwana ababandakanyekayo.
Ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho, kuya kufuneka ufunde ukwamkela iqabane lakho njengomntu kwaye uhloniphe iyantlukwano yenu. Kudala umthanda ngayo yonke into eyiyo, khumbula loo maxesha. Ukukunceda ekusombululeni imiba enokuvela kwindalo yakho ephikisanayo, buyela emva kwingcebiso yokuqala kweli nqaku.
3. Ukuchukumisa okuphilisayo
Enye indawo apho uninzi lwezibini ezitshatileyo zinokusebenzisa ezinye izixhasi kukubonana ngokwasemzimbeni. Ngexesha kunye noxinzelelo lwemihla ngemihla, uninzi lwethu luphulukana nomnxeba (i-pun eyenzelweyo) ngomnqweno kunye nomtsalane womzimba owawumkhulu xa bedibana.
Elona xesha lihle lokwabelana ngesondo emtshatweni lelomntu ngamnye, kodwa ukutshintshiselana ngokwasemzimbeni ngothando kufanele kuhlala kuyinxalenye yomtshato.
Nokuba ubomi bakho bobulili buyanelisa kuhlala kulungile ukubuyela kwiziseko. Kodwa, ukuba ufumana isipelingi esomileyo, kuya kufuneka ujonge kula manyathelo alandelayo nangakumbi. Qala ngokuqinisa iziseko zomtshato wakho, ubuhlobo kunye nothando omnye komnye. Akukho sidingo sokufumana ilungelo lokwabelana ngesondo.
Ke, ngendlela efanayo naxa ubusandula ukuqala ukuthandana, qala ukubamba izandla kwakhona kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukuphathaphatha ngobumnene, akukho nto yesondo. Ngokuhamba kwexesha uye ekuthandeni okanye kwimicimbi yezesondo engeyiyo eyokwabelana ngesondo. Kuphela kusemva kokuba uziva ukuba ukonwaba emva kokuba ubuyile emtshatweni wakho kuya kufuneka uphinde uvuselele inkanuko yesini.
4. Ukukhula ngokwabantu ngabanye kunye
Inye into edla ngokungakhathalelwa emtshatweni, ngakumbi xa nobabini nisathandana, yimfuneko yokuziphuhlisa kweqabane ngalinye. Abantu, kwiinjongo zabo ezilungileyo, baqala ukuzijonga njengenxalenye yento enye, yesibini.
Oku kuyathandeka ekuqaleni komtshato, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha kuye kube sesona sizathu siphambili sokungoneliseki kubudlelwane.
Ukwabelana ngezicwangciso kuyimfuneko emtshatweni, ewe. Kodwa, oko akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka uzilahle ngokupheleleyo iinjongo zakho kunye namaphupha akho. Ngokuchasene noko, umtshato olungileyo ubonakaliswa ngokuvumela omabini amaqabane ukuba alandele inkanuko kunye neminqweno yabo.
Ke, ukuba ungathanda ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho, thetha neqabane lakho ngokukhululekileyo malunga neminqweno yakho kunye nendlela yokwenza ukuba yenzeke. Kwaye khumbula ukuxhasana onke amanyathelo asendleleni.