Umxholo
- 1. Awunguye ophambili kuye
- 2. Kulumkele ukumthemba
- 3. Gcina ukhetho lwakho luvulekile
- 4. Sukuhlala kwiimpendulo ezingacacanga
- 5. Ukuba uqhawula umtshato, nolwalamano lwakho luya kutshintsha
- 6. Ngokuqinisekileyo akasayi kumshiya umfazi wakhe
- 7. Iingxaki zabo zomtshato azikho kuye
- 8. Nyaniseka kwisiqu sakho
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba awuzange ucebe ukuthandana nendoda etshatileyo, kodwa kukho amaxesha apho nabona bantu balumkileyo phakathi kwethu boyiswa ziimvakalelo zabo.
Ukufunyanwa kuphononongo kuphakamisa ukuba abantu basetyhini abazikhetheli ngokwabo amaqabane ngokuzimeleyo, kwaye bathande abesilisa ukuba babe nemibutho yangaphambili namanye amabhinqa, into eyaziwa ngokuba kukulingisa amaqabane.
Olu phononongo luyasikhanyisela ukuba kutheni abafazi befuna ukuthandana namadoda amadala atshatileyo.
Ukuthandana nomntu otshatileyo kungakuthatha ngaphezulu kwenyanga, kodwa kunokuba buhlungu nako.
Ngokuqinisekileyo ukhe wazama ukuyichasa, kodwa iimvakalelo zakho zikongamele. Asizelanga ukukuxelela ukuba "uyiyeke" okanye ikwenze uzive umbi malunga nokukhetha kwakho.
Endaweni yoko, sifuna ukukunceda uphathe ukuthandana nendoda etshatileyo kwaye uzikhusele ekonzakaleni, okunokwenzeka kakhulu.
Izinto ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe xa uthandana nendoda etshatileyo
1. Awunguye ophambili kuye
Ukuthandana nomntu otshatileyo kuthetha ukuza ngoxolo nenyaniso yokuba usapho yeyona nto iphambili kuye. Unokukwenza uzive ukhethekileyo kwaye ungenakubuyiselwa, into oyiyo, kodwa awuyonto iphambili.
Xa kuziwa ekukhetheni ukuba ngubani oza kubakho ngexesha lentlekele, uya kubakhetha.
Ukuthandana nendoda etshatileyo kuthetha ukuza kwinqanaba ngokungakwazi ukubala ngenkxaso yakhe ngaphandle kwemiqathango.
2. Kulumkele ukumthemba
Nangona uthandana nendoda etshatileyo kwaye esithi iyakuthanda, lumka. Ngaba ungamthemba umntu okhetha ukukhohlisa omnye umntu?
Ingakumbi ukuba baxoka okanye bakufihlela inyani, bayabandakanyeka. Nangona ebonakala ngathi uyazisola, thatha ingqwalaselo yokuba ungangabi ngowokuqala.
Yikhumbule indlela athetha ngayo ngomfazi wakhe, njengoko isitsho kakhulu ngaye nangobuntu bakhe kunokuba isitsho ngaye.
3. Gcina ukhetho lwakho luvulekile
Ukuthandana nendoda etshatileyo kunokuba yinto emnandi, kwaye kangangexesha elithile, elinokuziva lingaphaya kokwaneleyo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuthandana nendoda etshatileyo kungakushiya uneentloni, uwedwa, kwaye ulilolo.
Xa uzifuna, zisenokungabikho. Ngenxa yoko, kunokuba bubulumko ukugcina ukhetho lwakho luvulekile kwaye ugcine ukuthandana. Bakho, ke kutheni kungenjalo nawe?
Oku kunokukugcina uzive ukhathazekile xa kuphela kwaye kukuvumela ukuba udibane nomntu onokuba nekamva kunye naye.
4. Sukuhlala kwiimpendulo ezingacacanga
Ukuba uthandana nendoda etshatileyo, kuya kufuneka ujonge iimpendulo ezingacacanga okanye ezingacacanga.
Ukuba bathembisa ukushiya umfazi wakhe, buza nini kwaye ucele ubungqina. Amagama kuphela akwanelanga.
5. Ukuba uqhawula umtshato, nolwalamano lwakho luya kutshintsha
Ukuwa eluthandweni nendoda etshatileyo kwahlukile kunokuba kubudlelwane nabo emva koqhawulo mtshato.
Baza kudideka, babe neentloni, bakhululeke mhlawumbi, kodwa xa iyonke isebenze kakhulu. Oku kuya kuchaphazela ubudlelwane bakho nabo; yiyo loo nto ayizukuziva injalo njengakuqala.
6. Ngokuqinisekileyo akasayi kumshiya umfazi wakhe
Ukuziva utsalelekile emtshatweni kunokubangela ukuba ngokungazi ubandise amathuba okuba kunye. Inyani yile yokuba umtshato wakhe, ixesha elide ngoku, ungonwabanga, ukanti usekuwo.
Ewe unokuba lithuba lokutshintsha. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba akaphelisi kwiinyanga ezimbalwa zokuhlangana nawe, amathuba akhe okushiya iqabane lakhe ancipha ngakumbi nangakumbi njengoko ixesha lihamba.
Ukuphelisa umtshato wakhe kunokuluphelisa nolwalamano lwakho. Ukuba omnye wenu ubemnika yonke into ayifunayo, ebengazukufuna bobabini ubudlelwane.
Oku kunokuba buhlungu ukuva, kodwa kunokukunceda ulungiselele okuzayo.
Jonga kwakhona: Kutheni kungekho kamva ekuthandeni indoda etshatileyo
7. Iingxaki zabo zomtshato azikho kuye
Ukuthandana nomntu otshatileyo akuvumeli ukuba umazi ngokwenyani, kuba uyazi ukuba kunjani ukuba utshatile naye, ingenguye yedwa.
Nangona enokubeka iingxaki zomtshato kwiqabane lakhe, unenxaxheba kulo xanduva. Unayo loo nto engqondweni xa ucinga ngekamva kunye naye.
8. Nyaniseka kwisiqu sakho
Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuwela indoda etshatileyo kwakungekho kwizicwangciso zakho. Ukuzibetha ngale nto akuyi kukunceda ukusombulula imeko.
Nyaniseka kwisiqu sakho kwaye uzibuze imibuzo enzima ukuze uzicwangcise kwaye uzikhusele.
- Yeyiphi imeko ebalaseleyo enokwenzeka? Ngaba kunokwenzeka oko?
- Yeyiphi imeko embi ukuba yenzeke? Ngaba kunokwenzeka?
- Uzibonela ikamva elinjani? Ngaba iyahambelana neyakhe?
- Uyakwenza ntoni ukuba unyaka ukusukela ngoku akukho nto itshintshileyo?
- Ngaba ukulungele ukuncama ikamva lakho ukuze uhlale naye?
- Ungayigcina ixesha elingakanani le nto?
Ukuzilungiselela ubudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo
Ngalo naliphi na ixesha, ulwalamano lwakho naye lunokuphela. Umfazi wakhe unokufumanisa kwaye amnike isigqibo.
Usenokudikwa lulwalamano, afumanise ukuba ngumsebenzi omninzi, okanye atshintshe intliziyo. Unokudinwa ngokuxoka nokunyonyoba.
Ikushiya phi lonto? Ukulungiselela imeko enjalo kunokukusindisa kwihlabathi elibuhlungu.
Nokuba ukulungele ukuyiphelisa okanye hayi, zama ukucinga ukuba inokuba njani. Yintoni oya kuyikhumbula kakhulu? Yintoni ongayiphosiyo kukuthandana nendoda etshatileyo?
Bhala phantsi izinto onqwenela ukuba nazo ngelixa unaye, njengokungakwazi ukucwangcisela ikamva okanye ukuhlala kwakhe ubusuku bonke.
Xa iintlungu zokuphulukana naye zikhaba, kwaye uqala ukuvuthela ubudlelwane bakho naye ngokungalingani, olu luhlu lunokuba sisixhobo sakho sokuqala soncedo.
Inkxaso yokugqibela kunye namazwi esilumkiso
Into engacingekiyo yenzekile- uthandana nendoda etshatileyo.
Ekuqaleni, ukuthanda indoda etshatileyo kuyonwabisa kwaye kuyonwabisa. Emva koko ubutyala, iintloni, kunye nokuzimela.
Kukho izinto ekufuneka uziqwalasele xa uthandana nendoda etshatileyo.
Ngaba ufanele umthembe, ngaba ukunika iimpendulo ezingacacanga, uthetha njani ngomfazi wakhe kunye nekamva lakho kunye? Nangona epeyinta ngaloo ndlela, umtshato wakhe awonwabanga ngenxa yomfazi wakhe yedwa.
Nokuba kunjalo, kungenzeka ukuba angamshiyi, kodwa ulwalamano lwakho naye luya kutshintsha nangona esenza njalo.
Okokugqibela, usatshatile, ke kuya kufuneka ugcine ukhetho lwakho luvulekile kwaye uthandane nabanye abantu.
Cinga ngezi zinto xa uthandana nendoda etshatileyo ukuze uzilungiselele kwaye uthintele ubuhlungu obuninzi kangangoko.
Akukho mntu unokukukhusela kuzo zonke iintlungu, kodwa ukuba uqala ukuzilungiselela kwangoko, uya kuba nakho ukuphatha ubudlelwane kunye nokuphela kwayo ngcono.