Umxholo
- Yintoni uncamathiselo olukhuselekileyo?
- Iindlela zokonyusa isincamathiselo sakho kwiqabane lakho
- Yiva omnye komnye
- Iindlela ezincinci zokwakha ukusondelelana
- Hamba kwindalo
- Vuleka ngeemfuno zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho ukuze wenze ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo
- Zakheleni uluntu
- Yiba nesondo ngakumbi
Amajelo osasazo asigubungela ngemifanekiso "yento enkulu kunaleyo-yobomi bokuthandana". Uyazi, ezo bhanyabhanya apho lo mfo acebisa intombi yakhe ngenkqubo yedilesi kawonke-wonke kwinqwelomoya okanye eshiya umkhondo wamagqabi egumbi ukusuka kwigumbi lokuhlala uye kwigumbi lokulala, apho afumana khona ibhokisi encinci enesangqa esikhulu sedayimane.
Akumangalisi ukuba abantu abancinci bacinge ukuba sisenzo esihle eso bubungqina bokuba "Luthando Lokwenene", kwaye bazityeshele zonke iindlela ezincinci esinokuthi senze ngazo ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo.
Zimbalwa iimodeli kumajelo eendaba esinokujonga kuzo ukuze siyibone le-eyokwakha uncamathiselo olukhuselekileyo kunye neqabane lakho kunye nokuligcina lenziwe liwaka lezinto ezincinci.
Yintoni uncamathiselo olukhuselekileyo?
Wonke umntu ufuna uncamathiselo.
Ukwakha uqhagamshelo olukhuselekileyo kunye neqabane lakho sisiseko sobudlelwane obonwabileyo nobusempilweni. Ukuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo yimvakalelo yokuba ngowakho kunye nemvakalelo yokunxibelelana nomnye umntu kunye nobomi kumanqanaba anzulu. Abantu zizilwanyana ezipakishwayo, kwaye ngenxa yoko banesidingo sokuziva beyinxalenye yeqela.
Unxibelelwano olungagungqiyo nomnye umntu luvelisa izinto ezintathu ezinento yokwenza nempendulo elungileyo.
Ukuziva olu hlobo lonxibelelwano kusinika imeko yokuqina konxibelelwano ngaphakathi kwethu; ukuzithemba kwethu kwangaphakathi kuyakhuthazeka ukuba sizibandakanye ebomini ngeendlela ezisinceda ukuba sakhe ukuzazi, kwaye oku kuzibandakanya kukonyusa iimvakalelo zethu zobuchule kunye nokuzithemba.
Ukuzithemba okuphezulu kuyasivumela ukuba sinxibelelane ngokulula nabanye. Ke oku kuyila isangqa esifanelekileyo sokuncamathela.
Iindlela zokonyusa isincamathiselo sakho kwiqabane lakho
Ngokwakha unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo neqabane lakho, gxila ekuphiliseni naziphi na izinamathiselo ezingakhuselekanga unokuba uqhubeka nolwalamano lwangaphambili.
Isakhono sokuncamathisela ngokukhuselekileyo komnye umntu senziwa (okanye hayi) kubuntwana. Ukuba uziva ukuba awunawo amandla aphucukileyo okuncamathisela kwenye, unokufuna ukusebenza nonyango ngendlela onokuphilisa ngayo.
Ukuba awukwenzi oko, ubeka emngciphekweni wokuthintela ukunamathela, ukungakwazi ukuthatha imbuyekezo etyebileyo yokuncamathelisa iqabane lakho ebomini bakho. Ukunceda ekuphiliseni nasekuphenduleni umbuzo, indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane obukhuselekileyo, zama oku kulandelayo:
- Sebenza ekuphakamiseni ukuzithemba kwakho, usebenzisa izixhobo ezinjengeencwadi kunye nonyango lwakho. Uvakalelo olomelele ngakumbi lokuzithemba luyanceda ekwakheni uqhagamshelo olukhuselekileyo kunye neqabane lakho.
- Funda ukuchonga, ukuhlonipha, kunye nokuchaza iimfuno zakho zeemvakalelo ngendlela yokuzikhathalela kwaye inganyanzelisi okanye ibeke ityala.
- Umngcipheko wokunyaniseka kunye ngqo. Sukudlala imidlalo okanye uzame ukukhohlisa umdla weqabane lakho. Kuphela kukubonisa ukuba ungubani kanye kanye apho ufumana uthando oluyinyani.
- Ziqhelise ukwamkelwa kwakho kunye nabanye. Musa ukugxeka.
- Yeka ukuphendula kwaye uqale ukuphendula.
Ufunda njani ukusombulula ukungavisisani kunye nokulalanisa ngokwembono “thina”?
Yiva omnye komnye
Le yinto encinci kodwa ibaluleke kakhulu ekwakheni unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo neqabane lakho.
Xa usiva into ethethwa liqabane lakho, uyakuqinisekisa. Masithi uphume ukuqhuba. Unamaculo amnandi kunomathotholo kwaye nobabini niziva nikhululekile. Umlingane wakho ujonge ngaphandle kwefestile yemoto, kwaye wenza into angayaziyo: "Wowu, ukukhanya ngoku kulungile."
Ungavele unqwale nje intloko kwaye uqhubeke. Kodwa ukomeleza uncamathiselo lwakho, yenza into encinci: "Ewe ewe, kunjalo ngenene."
Kanye apho uthumele umyalezo kwiqabane lakho ukuba uyivile into abayithethileyo kwaye wabelana ngayo ekuboneni kwabo. Oko uziva ulungile kwaye uhlala uphendula umbuzo, indlela yokwenza iqabane lakho liziva likhuselekile.
Iindlela ezincinci zokwakha ukusondelelana
Kukuthini ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo ngaphandle kwenqanaba lokusondelelana neqabane lakho? Oko kwathethi, wena neqabane lakho akufuneki nenze isemina yokuhlaziya ubomi ukuze nonyuse ukusondelelana.
Zininzi iindlela ezincinci onokuzenza ekwakheni unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo kunye neqabane lakho-
- Ukubaphathela ikofu yakusasa elungiselelwe kanye ngendlela abayithandayo.
- Ukuba nengxoxo yomntu ngomzuzu-10 ngaphandle kweeselfowuni esandleni, ujolise nje ekutshintshisaneni.
- Indumiso ekhawulezileyo yesidlo esikhulu esilungiselelwe liqabane lakho
- Ukubulela iqabane lakho ngokuchola indawo yokucoca eyomileyo.
Hamba kwindalo
Izibonelelo "zokuhlamba ihlathi" zibhalwe kwinkcubeko yaseJapan. Kodwa ubusazi ukuba ukuhamba kunye kuyanceda ekwakheni ukudibana okukhuselekileyo neqabane lakho?
Ukuhamba kancinci nangokucinga kwindalo yindlela encinci, engabizi mali yokuncamathisela kwiqabane lakho. Ungahendeka ukuba wenze into kufutshane nasekhaya, enjengokuhamba-hamba kunye, kodwa oku akuyi kukubonelela ngendlela efanelekileyo yokuthatha.
Ukuhamba kweMall kunemvakalelo eyomeleleyo yokwenyusa inkuthazo (kwaye unokuhendeka ukuba usebenzise eli xesha ukuqhuba neminye imisebenzi, eyoyisa injongo yokuncamathisela kulo msebenzi).
Vuleka ngeemfuno zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho ukuze wenze ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo
Kuya kufuneka uphinde usebenze ngengqondo yakho ekwakheni iibhondi ezikhuselekileyo kunye neqabane lakho.
Ukwabelana ngeemfuno zakho ngokuthe ngqo, kunokuba usebenzise indlela yokudlala "yokudlala umdlalo", ngoyena ndoqo ekudaleni ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo kunye neqabane. Xa iqabane lakho likubuza ukuba kukho into engalunganga, mxelele ukuba yintoni, kunokuba uthi "akukho nto" ingacacanga kwaye ukrokre ngayo.
Xa uchaza iimfuno zakho ngokuthe ngqo, iqabane lakho liyakhululeka kuba akufuneki ukuba baqashele ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni entlokweni yakho. Oku kuguqulela kwisincamathiselo esingcono phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Zakheleni uluntu
Ukuba nokuncamathisela ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho kunesiphumo esihle ekuncedeni nina nobabini nihlale ninamathele omnye komnye. Ukubandakanyeka kwakho kumaqela aselumelwaneni, indlu yonqulo oyikhethileyo, umsebenzi wokuzithandela, isikolo sabantwana bakho, zonke ezi zinto ziluncedo kwimbono yakho yokuba lilungu kwaye zincedisa ekwakheni unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo neqabane lakho.
Yiba nesondo ngakumbi
Ubomi obuphumelelayo besondo buza kuhamba ixesha elide ekwakheni unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo neqabane lakho. Enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokuphucula ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo kwiqabane lakho kukuba neentlobano zesini.
Iihomoni ezikhutshwe emva kwe-orgasm, i-oxytocin-zibonakalisiwe ukuba zonyusa iimvakalelo zakho zonxibelelwano kunye nokuthembela. Yinto encinci kodwa emangalisayo, akunjalo?
Ukwakha ubudlelwane obukhuselekileyo neqabane lakho ukuze nonwabe
Ngokulandela ezi zimvo awuyi kukwazi ukwakha kuphela unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo kunye neqabane lakho kodwa uya kuvuna izibonelelo zobudlelwane obunomvuzo kangangeminyaka emininzi ezayo. Njengokuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo kukunxibelelana nolwalamano olonwabileyo kwaye kufanelekile ukuba usebenze ngokungaguquguqukiyo ekwakheni ukudibanisa okukhuselekileyo nokuhlala ixesha elide neqabane lakho.