Umxholo
- Uyixelela njani indoda yakho ukuba ufuna ukwahlukana
- 1.Uyahlula ngenjongo yokubuyelana?
- 2. Yeyiphi imiba onayo omnye komnye?
- 3. Ngaba niya kuhlala kwikhaya elinye?
- 4. Niza kuhlala njani nimanyene ukuze nibe ngabazali babantwana benu?
- 5. Uya kuba uthandana nabanye abantu?
- 6. Ngaba niya kuqhubeka nokusondelelana omnye nomnye?
- 7. Nizahlula njani imali ngexesha lokwahlukana?
- Ukwahlukana nomyeni wakho akulula
Ubudlelwane akusoloko kulula. Banokudala ezona meko zinzima okhe wajongana nazo ebomini bakho. Ukuqala kwakho ukutshata, wawucinga ukuba umyeni wakho uza kuba ngumkhonto wakho kwizikrweqe ezikhazimlayo.
Kodwa, njengoko ixesha lihamba, uqala ukuziva ngathi isele lakho alisoze lajika laba yinkosana obuyilindile. Ukwahlukana nomyeni wakho ngokusisigxina okanye kwisilingo kungena engqondweni yakho ngakumbi nangakumbi.
Thatha inyathelo ubuye umva. Ngobushushu bokudinwa kwakho, ukwahlukana nomyeni wakho kubonakala ngathi liphupha lizaliseka, kodwa ngaba yile nto uyifunayo ezantsi? Kwaye, ukuba ewe, ungabuza njani ukwahlukana?
Xa ucinga ngokwahlukana nomyeni wakho, kukho imibuzo ebalulekileyo ekufuneka uyiqwalasele ngaphambi kokuba uyenze ibe semthethweni. Nantsi eminye imibuzo kunye neenkxalabo ekufuneka uziphendulile ngaphambi kokujonga ngokwahlukana kunye nokupakisha iibhegi zakho.
Uyixelela njani indoda yakho ukuba ufuna ukwahlukana
Kuya kufuneka uyithethe xa ucinga ngokwahlukana.
Musa ukuba yintombazana ekhuphayo emva kokwahlukana nomyeni wayo, ungaze uphinde uviwe kwakhona. Ukuba ucinga ngokunyanisekileyo ngokwahlukana nomyeni wakho, kufuneka umnike imbeko nethuba lokulungisa izinto.
Ungaya malunga nokuyixelela indlela oziva ngayo, kwaye ngokuxelela umyeni wakho ukuba ufuna ukwahlukana ngaphandle kokuphakamisa umsindo.
Thetha ude ube luhlaza ebusweni. Yonke into malunga nokwahlukana kwenu ifuna ukulungiswa ukuze omabini amaqela acacelwe kokulindelweyo kweli tyeli litsha kubudlelwane bakho.
Ke, ucela njani ukwahlukana? Ungayixelela njani indoda yakho ukuba ufuna ukwahlukana?
Ukucela ukwahlukana kunokuba noxinzelelo. Ke, nantsi imibuzo ekufuneka uyiqwalasele ngelixa ucinga ukuba ungalixelela njani iqabane lakho ukuba ufuna ukwahlukana.
1.Uyahlula ngenjongo yokubuyelana?
Luhlobo luni lokwahlula ocinga ngalo omnye komnye? Lo ngomnye wemibuzo ephambili ekubuzeni malunga nokwahlukana ngokwakho.
Ukwahlukana kwetyala kubonisa ukuba wena neqabane lakho nobabini niyakukhetha umgca wexesha, onjengeenyanga ezimbini, ukuba wohlukane omnye komnye ukuvavanya ukuba uyafuna ukuqhubeka emtshatweni.
Ukwahlulwa kwetyala kwenziwa ukuze uphinde ufumanise iimfuno zakho kunye neemfuno zakho, sebenza kwiingxaki zakho ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa kunye nokukhathazeka, kwaye uvavanye ukuba ungaphila ngokwenyani ngaphandle komnye.
Ukwahlula ngokwenyani kuthetha ukuba ufuna ukuqala ukuhlala njengabantu abangatshatanga kwakhona, ngenjongo yoqhawulo mtshato. Kubalulekile ukuba ungakhokeleli iqabane lakho ukuba ngaba ukhetho lwakho lolokugqibela. Ukuba ufuna ukubuphelisa ubudlelwane ujonge iinkqubo zomthetho, kufuneka uthembeke malunga naloo nto.
2. Yeyiphi imiba onayo omnye komnye?
Lo kufanele ukuba ube ngowona mibuzo iphambili ekufuneka uyibuze ngaphambi kokwahlulahlula okanye ngelixa unentetho yokwahlula. Ngaphandle kwemicimbi yakho, ubudlelwane bakho bunokuba neempawu ezintle ekufuneka usebenze kuzo.
Ukuba ucinga ukwahlukana nomyeni wakho, mxelele ukuba zithini iingxaki zakho. Mhlawumbi uphikisana nemali, usapho, ukungaziphathi kakuhle kwangaphambili, okanye ithemba lokuba nabantwana.
Beka amanqaku akho ngaphandle ngendlela engamangaleli ngelixa uxoxa ngokwahlukana nomyeni wakho.
3. Ngaba niya kuhlala kwikhaya elinye?
Ngaphambi kokuba ucinge ngendlela yokucela ukwahlukana, kuya kufuneka uthathe isigqibo sokuba ngaba nisahlala kunye ngeli xesha.
Oku kuqhelekile ekwahlukanisweni kwetyala. Ukuba awuhlali kwikhaya elinye, Thatha isigqibo ngokufanelekileyo, ukuba ngubani ekufuneka eyifumene indawo yokuhlala entsha.
Kufuneka ube neempendulo zale mibuzo ilandelayo yokwahlukana: Ngaba ungumnikazi wendlu yakho, okanye uyarenta? Ukuba uqhawula umtshato, uza kuyithengisa indlu? Yonke le mibuzo ibalulekile ekufuneka uyiqwalasele.
4. Niza kuhlala njani nimanyene ukuze nibe ngabazali babantwana benu?
Iingcinga zakho ngokwahlukana kufuneka zibandakanye ukucwangcisa ikamva labantwana bakho. Ukuba unabantwana, kunyanzelekile ukuba beze kuqala ngaphambi kokuba ucinge ngendlela yokucela ukwahlukana.
Unokuba nokungafani komnye nomnye okwenza ukuba ufune ukukhupha iinwele zakho, kodwa abantwana bakho akufuneki babandezeleke ngaphezu kokufuneka ngexesha lokwahlukana kwenu.
Ukuba ukwahlukana kwakho kulingo, unokucinga ngokuhlala kwikhaya elinye ukuze ugcine imicimbi yakho yomtshato iyimfihlo ebantwaneni abancinci. Oku kuya kuthintela ukutshintsha inkqubo yesiqhelo yabantwana bakho.
Thatha isigqibo kunye sokuhlala nimanyene ngokubhekisele kubantwana bakho ukuze bangazijongi izigqibo zakho zobuzali ngokwahlukileyo kunangaphambili.
5. Uya kuba uthandana nabanye abantu?
Ukuba ukwahlukana kwakho kukulingwa ngenjongo yokubuyelana, akunomdla wakho ukuqala ukuthandana nabanye abantu. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ufuna ukwahlukana ngokwasemthethweni nomyeni wakho, kuya kufuneka uvumelane nenyaniso yokuba angaphinda aqale ukuthandana.
Rhoqo, izibini ezahlukileyo ziziva ngathi zithathe izigqibo ezilungileyo, kuphela ukufumanisa iimvakalelo zabo ziye zavela kwakhona xa bebona amaqabane abo nomntu omtsha.
Kubalulekile ke ngoko ukuba ucinge malunga nokuba ufuna ukwahlukana nyani na kunokuba uzibuze malunga nendlela yokucela ukwahlukana.
6. Ngaba niya kuqhubeka nokusondelelana omnye nomnye?
Kungenxa yokuba awukwazi ukunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo akuthethi ukuba awusadibani ngokwasemzimbeni. Ngaba uyahlukana neqabane lakho kodwa ukhululekile ukugcina ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nangona ulwalamano lwakho luphelile okanye ukuba nisahlukene ngokwahlukileyo?
Gcina ukhumbula ukuba akunampilo kwaye kuyaphambanisa kubo bobabini abantu ukuba baqhubeke nokwabelana ngesivumelwano somzimba nomntu ongasakwaziyo ukuba naye-ngakumbi ukuba uyahlukana nendoda, kwaye akavumelani neli lungiselelo.
7. Nizahlula njani imali ngexesha lokwahlukana?
Logama nje nisatshatile ngokusemthethweni, nakuphi na ukuthengwa okukhulu okwenziwe liqela kuyakuthathelwa ingqalelo njengetyala lomtshato. Oku kubiza imibuzo eliqela engqondweni xa ucinga ngendlela yokucela ukwahlukana.
Umzekelo, ngaba wabelana ngeakhawunti yebhanki? Kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngendlela eya kwahlulwa ngayo imali yakho ukusuka apha ukuya phambili.
Uya kuwuxhasa njani umzi wakho, ngakumbi ukuba umyeni wakho uhlala kwenye indawo? Ingaba niqeshiwe nobabini?
Xoxa ngoxanduva ngendlela oza kuyiphatha ngayo imali yakho nokwahlulahlula imali ngexesha lokwahlukana kwenu.
Bukela le vidiyo ukuze wazi ukuba ukulungele na ukuqhawula umtshato.
Ukwahlukana nomyeni wakho akulula
Inyani yokwahlukana nomyeni wakho yahluke kakhulu kunendlela obuyicinga ngayo. Nokuba benikunye kunye iminyaka emithathu okanye engamashumi amathathu, ukwahlukana akukaze kube lula.
Kodwa ukuba uhlala ungathembeki rhoqo okanye uxhatshazwa emzimbeni okanye ngokweemvakalelo ezandleni zomyeni wakho, akufuneki kube ngumbuzo wokuba ufanele nahlukane.
Kuzo zonke ezinye iimeko, kubalulekile ukugcina umyeni wakho ekuloo nto uceba ukuyenza. Kufanelekile ukumnika ithuba lokujongana nemicimbi kunye neenkxalabo kwaye usindise ubudlelwane bakho.
Ke, ucela njani ukwahlukana?
Ukuba uziva ukwahlukana kwakho akunakuphepheka, xoxa ngendlela oku okunokuluchaphazela ngayo usapho lwakho kwaye uvuleke kwaye uthembeke xa usenza njalo. Zama ukungangeni kumdlalo wokubeka ityala, kwaye uxoxe ngemicimbi ngendlela enesidima.
Inkqubo yokwahlukana nomyeni wakho iya kukuchaphazela kakhulu ngokwasengqondweni, kodwa esi sisigaba nje ebomini bakho ekufuneka silawulwe kakuhle ukunqanda nawuphi na umonakalo kuwe nakubomi beqabane lakho.