Umxholo
- Uyibuyisa njani into yokuthandana emtshatweni wakho
- 1. Lalani kunye, ngokoqobo
- 2. Zama ukuthandana rhoqo
- 3. Yenza ixesha lokuba kunye
- Cwangcisa iholide rhoqo kwiinyanga ezimbalwa
- 5. Qiniseka ukuba ubomi bakho bezesondo buyasebenza
Kubalulekile ukuba thatha ingqalelo yokubaleka kwezothando ukuvuselela umtshato wakho ngoku, kungenjalo, isizungu kunye nesithukuthezi kunokungena kwisithuba sakho sangasese phakathi kwamashiti. Koda mnaukwenza ixesha elifanelekileyo ukwakha ngokutsha ukuthandana emtshatweni akukho lula.
Emva kweminyaka ethile yomtshato, xa isonyulo kunye nemisebenzi yemihla ngemihla inyuka, ukuthandana nokuthanda kubonakala ngathi ichithakale ibe yinto engekhoyo. Oku kudala ukungonwabi kwimitshato kunye nokungonwabi ebomini.
Ngokophando olwenziwe liZiko loPhando lweZimvo likaZwelonke, ngama-60% abantu abonwabileyo emitshatweni yabo. Ukanti olunye uphando lubonisa ukuba phantse i-15% yamadoda kwaye phantse i-27% yabasetyhini zange balalane ngesondo kunyaka ophelileyo.
Ke uyabona ezinye izibini zihlala kwimitshato engenalo uthando kunye nothando.
Nangona uninzi lwabacebisi bemitshato luthi uthando alupheli phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo, "ukungabikho konxibelelwano ngokwasemzimbeni kuyahlulahlula izibini," utsho uSaari Cooper, ingcali yezesondo eqinisekisiweyo. Ekugqibeleni, ukungabikho kothando kunye nesondo emtshatweni kunokukhokelela ekungathembekini okanye kuqhawulo mtshato.
Ukuthandana kunye nokuthanda ngamanye amaxesha kunokufihlwa nje emva kweemvakalelo zokungahoywa, umsindo, isizungu, isithukuthezi kunye nenzondo. Ke ngoko, ukuze umtshato wakho wonwabe kwaye uphumelele, kubalulekile ukuba uphinde uzibone ezo mvakalelo zothando kwaye uphinde wakhe ezothando emtshatweni.
Oku kulandelayo zezinye zezinto ezilula iingcebiso zokuvuselela uthando emtshatweni.
Uyibuyisa njani into yokuthandana emtshatweni wakho
Entle ubudlelwane bezesondo ngu eyakhelwe kulwalamano olusenyongweni kunye nokusondelelana phakathi kwamaqabane. Ukungabikho kothando emtshatweni kunye nokusondela emzimbeni phakathi kwamaqabane kukhokelela ekuqhawuleni ubudlelwane phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Kodwa konke akulahlekanga. UGqirha Lisa Firestone ubhala athi, Ugxininiso kufuneka lushiye kwindlela "yokulungisa" omnye umntu kunye nembono ebanzi yendlela yokulungisa ubudlelwane.”
Endaweni yokukhala malunga nokulahlekelwa luthando kubudlelwane, fumana iindlela zokwakha kwakhona ukuthandana emtshatweni. Ezi zilandelayo zindlela ezintlanu ezahlukeneyo zokuvuselela uthando kunye nokubuyisa umtsalane olahlekileyo kubudlelwane bakho.
1. Lalani kunye, ngokoqobo
Zonke izibini kufuneka ziye kulala ngexesha elinye. Ukulala ngexesha elinye ibonelela nge ithuba ukwangana, ukwanga, kunye hlala kunye. Nokuba isibini asithethi, ukusondelelana kudla ngokuqinisa unxibelelwano phakathi kwabo.
Uphando oluqhutywe yiYunivesithi yasePittsburgh lubanga ukuba ukulala kunye neqabane lakho kukhuthaza iimvakalelo zokukhuseleka nokhuseleko. Ukongeza, yehlisa iihormoni zoxinzelelo kwaye ikhuthaze iihormone zothando, kunye nokuzisa izibini kufutshane.
Ngaxeshanye, ukuya kulala kunye inika ixesha elinesisa lokuba izibini zidibane ngaphambi kokuba zilele ezingalweni zomnye nomnye. Kwakhona, ukuya kulala ngexesha elinye kubangela iimvakalelo zentuthuzelo, ukoneliseka, uthando, ulonwabo kunye noxabiso.
2. Zama ukuthandana rhoqo
Eyona ndlela yokuvuselela uthando kuku ukukhumbula imihla yakudala yokuthandana nokulandela omnye komnye. Kodwa, uninzi lwezibini ezitshatileyo ziyayeka ukuthandana kwaye ziqale ukuthatha enye nenye. Ukuziphatha okunjalo kunokuba sisikhonkwane sokugqibela ebhokisini, ekugqibeleni kukhokelele ekwahlukaneni komtshato kunye okanye kuqhawulo mtshato.
Imbalela yokuthandana ihlala iqatshelwa xa intabatheko iguquka ibe kukuzibophelela kwexesha elide.
Kodwa ukuba unqwenela ukufunda ukuvuselela uthando, kufuneka ukhumbule amaxesha amnandi emihla yakho yokuqala kwaye uququzelele umhla omangalisayo. Ukuthandana ngokufuthi kuhlala kukuvumela ukuba uxabisane kwaye ugcine iintlantsi zobudlelwane bakho ziphila.
Kananjalo, imihla rhoqo iya kuqhekeza isoyolo kwaye ikuncede wakhe kwakhona ukuthandana emtshatweni.
3. Yenza ixesha lokuba kunye
Le yeyona nto intle onokuyinika iqabane lakho kwaye, ixesha lakho elixabisekileyo.
Kubaluleke kakhulu bonisanani ixesha. Iqabane lakho linokuba nomdla wokuya ekhonsathini kunye nawe ngelixa udiniwe kakhulu emva komsebenzi nasemisebenzini yasekhaya.
Izinto ezinjalo zihlala zenzeka phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo. Ke, kuyimfuneko ukwenza ikhalenda yesibini ukuze ube nexesha lokuthatha iqabane lakho lize kumhla, ikonsathi okanye imovie.
Ukuba ufikelele kwelo nqanaba apho ungaphinde uthandane kubudlelwane, oko kusenokwenzeka ukuba kukuvuselela umnxeba ukuba uqale ngokusebenzela ukwakha ulwalamano olulahlekileyo emtshatweni.
Cwangcisa iholide rhoqo kwiinyanga ezimbalwa
Ukuba unqwenela ukugcina uthando luphila emtshatweni, kuya kufuneka ucwangcise iindlela zokuthandana ukuze uvuselele umtshato wakho amaxesha ngamaxesha.
Kusempilweni kakhulu ukuba izibini ezitshatileyo zichithe ixesha kunye kwenye indawo ekude, kude nekhaya. Oku kubanceda ukuba baxabise kunye nokudibana kunye ngcono. Ke ngoko, kuya kufuneka ucwangcise iholide rhoqo kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ukuvuselela ezothando emtshatweni wakho.
Ngaba uceba ukwakha kwakhona ukuthandana emtshatweni? Qala nge ucwangcisa ikhefu lothando kunye neqabane lakho namhlanje!
5. Qiniseka ukuba ubomi bakho bezesondo buyasebenza
Izibini ezitshatileyo ezisempilweni ziye zabelana ngesondo rhoqo. Xa ubomi bakho bezesondo busebenza, akukho ndawo incinci yenzondo kunye nenzondo. Ke ngoko, thenga iilokhwe zangaphantsi ezintle kwaye uqalise ngesondo yonke imihla. Oku kuyakwenza iqabane lakho lizive linqweneleka.
Kufuneka uvuselele ubomi bakho bobulili ukuze wenze umtshato wakho usebenze.
Njengoko kukhankanyiwe ngaphambili kwinqaku, kubalulekile ukwakha kwakhona ukuthandana emtshatweni ukuze ube nobomi obonwabisayo nobonelisayo.
Ezi ngcebiso zilula ngokuqinisekileyo ziya kukunceda ugcine iintlantsi emtshatweni wakho ziphilile ukuze uzive wanelisekile kwaye wonwabile ngobomi bakho bomtshato.