Umxholo
- Ulwalamano olungasebenziyo lutshabalalisa ukuzixabisa komntu
- Ulwalamano olubi ludala iingxaki zomzimba nezengqondo
- Isifundo esenziwe ngesibini apho umsebenzi uphazamisa ubudlelwane babo:
- Isifundo esenziwe ngesibini esineemali ezidala iimvakalelo ezimbi phakathi kwabo:
- Ulwalamano olubi luchaphazela impilo yakho yomzimba kunye nengqondo
Ngaba uyazi ukuba ubudlelwane obubi babeka i-aura engalunganga echaphazela wonke umntu okufutshane? Iimvakalelo ezingalunganga ziyosulela. Ngaba uke wangena kwigumbi eligcwele abantu kwaye waziva uxinzelelo emoyeni? Amandla angalunganga adibanisa onke amandla akungqongileyo kwaye akushiye udiniwe. Ke ngoko, ubudlelwane obubi benza into efanayo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhusela ingqondo yakho kunye nokuzikhusela ngokomoya kwimithombo yamanzi ngenxa yabantu ababi.
Ulwalamano olungasebenziyo lutshabalalisa ukuzixabisa komntu
Isidingo esiphambili somntu wonke kufuneka samkelwe. Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu kukhula kwiimvakalelo zokungamkelwa kunye nokuxhaswa ngabantu oye wazibophelela ngokunzulu kwiimvakalelo ezinzulu.
- Ngaba ucinga ukuba ukugxeka okwakhayo kweqabane lakho kuyathoba kwaye kubonakalisa ukuzonda kwabo?
- Ngaba ukunganyaniseki kweqabane lakho kukubangele ukuba wenzakale, ube neentloni kwaye uphoxeke?
- Ngaba ufuna ukonwaba kubahlobo bakho, usapho, kunye nabantwana ngenxa yokuba uyekile ekufumaneni loo nto kunye neqabane lakho?
- Amaqabane enza iinkumbulo ezibaxhasayo ngamaxesha anzima. Ngaba iinkumbulo zakho ezilungileyo zomelele ngokwaneleyo ukwenza oko?
Ulwalamano olubi ludala iingxaki zomzimba nezengqondo
Ukuqhekeka kwentliziyo kudala umsindo, uxinzelelo, isifo sentliziyo, uxinzelelo lwegazi kunye nokuphazamiseka kwenkqubo yomzimba yokuzikhusela. Uninzi lwabantu lubuyela kukholo lokomoya, izihlobo, kunye namalungu osapho ukukunceda ukuba ugqithise ukungakhathali kunye nefuthe lazo.
Nangona kunjalo, abanye abantu baye bahlala kubudlelwane obubi ixesha elide, bamkele ukungalindeli uthando, inkxaso kunye nentlonipho. Bakholelwa ekubeni ayikho kubo. Ngokwenyani bakholelwa ukuba abafanelekanga ukuba babathande kwaye bahlala kubudlelwane ukungqina ukuba kufanelekile.
Isifundo esenziwe ngesibini apho umsebenzi uphazamisa ubudlelwane babo:
UJudy 33, iarhente yokuhamba, utshatile kwisithandwa sakhe sobuntwana, uThomas, isigqeba sokulawula iminyaka eli-12. Iminyaka emihlanu edlulileyo ibinzima. Inkampani kaTomas iyehlisa abasebenzi. UThomas ukhalaza ukuba imeko yasemsebenzini inokhuphiswano kangangokuba akanakukwazi ukuyinyamezela. Akacingi ukuba angawufumana omnye umsebenzi olunge njengalo anayo ngoko ke uxhonywe apho. Usuku ngalunye lubi kunangaphambili. UTomas ubuyela ekhaya enesimo esibi yonke imihla. Ubuntu bakhe butshintshile ekubeni ngumtsalane kuMnumzana Nasty. UJudy ucinga ukuba uyamkhetha kuba umphathi wakhe umenza loo nto imini yonke.
UThomas uhlala exinekile kakhulu ukuba anganxibelelana kwaye onwabe kunye naye. Ukuqala usapho kuye kwandiswa kwakhona. Rhoqo ngokuhlwa emva kwesidlo sangokuhlwa, uThomas uhlala phambi komabonwakude ephethe into ephungwayo ngesandla de alale. UJudy ucinga ukuba inkampani kaThomas isebenzisa amaqhinga okhuphiswano lwabasebenzi ukufumana umsebenzi omninzi ngaphandle kwabasebenzi. Umsebenzi abangahlawuli. Sekuyiminyaka emihlanu. UJudy ulahle ithemba ngomtshato ophilileyo. Uhlala kuba emthanda uTomas. Uzibona enethemba lokuba uyagxothwa. UJudy uqale ukusebenza emva kwexesha kwaye usele utywala.
Nangona kunjalo, lukhona uncedo olufumanekayo. Abantu abasebudlelwaneni neziyobisi, utywala, ukungcakaza, abo basebenza nzima bafuna izihlandlo ezili-12 zeqela apho bafunda khona ukuba kukho imida wonke umntu ekufuneka eyibekile kubudlelwane. Zininzi iindidi zamaqela enkxaso eluntwini akhoyo anika amandla ukuzixabisa kunye nelungelo lentlonipho noxolo lwengqondo.
La maqela abonelela ngezicwangciso zokusebenza malunga nezo njongo. Ezi zicwangciso zinika izixhobo zonxibelelwano zokujongana nabantu abazisa iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo kunye nobudlelwane ebomini bakho. Ukuba abantu kwinkqubo yakho yenkxaso baqala ukuthi kuwe, "Kutheni usekhona ukuba awonwabanga ngalo mntu?" Okwangoku iingcebiso neengcali okanye iqela lenkxaso eluntwini alinakulimaza.
Isifundo esenziwe ngesibini esineemali ezidala iimvakalelo ezimbi phakathi kwabo:
UJames 25, umatshini weemoto, uyamthanda uSherry, umfazi wakhe oneminyaka emibini. Banomfana ononyaka ubudala, uJohn.
Xa uJames wadibana noSherry, wayeyithanda into yokuba uyakhathala ngenkangeleko yakhe. Nangona kunjalo, akazange azi iindleko zokugcina loo nkangeleko de batshate. USherry unomsebenzi kwaye ucinga ukuba unelungelo kwiindleko zakhe zobuhle kuba wayenazo ngaphambi komtshato. Into oyenzayo ukuyifumana yile nto kufuneka uyenze ukuyigcina, akunjalo?
UJames ufuna ukugcina imali yokugcina umntwana kunye nokugcina iindleko. Ufuna uSherry anamathele kuhlahlo-lwabiwo mali olufanelekileyo kwaye angabi lolondolozo oluphezulu kangaka. Izimali kuphela kwento abalwa ngayo kwaye ijikeleze emva komjikelo. Ngoku, uSherry uqalile ukufihla ukuthengwa kwakhe kodwa uyalibala ukufihla iirisithi. Ukhathazekile uJames kuba le milo ichaphazela ubomi babo ngokwesondo. Ukwanazo neentlungu esifubeni kunye nentloko ebuhlungu. Akuncedi nto xa abahlobo bakhe bemxelela, "Ndikuxelele".
UThomas ucebiswe lilungu lecawa ukuba afune ukucebisa ngomtshato ecaweni, simahla. Kananjalo, udadewabo womhlobo wakhe osenyongweni ngumphathi wezezimali. Ucinga njalo. Ngamanye amaxesha wonke umntu ufuna uncedo oluncinci. Yena noSherry abanakho ukusombulula le ngxaki ngokwabo kuba abamameli kwaye abafuni kulalanisa. Imitshato emininzi iyanyibilika ngenxa yemali kunye nezigqibo ngendlela yokuphila. Lo ngumxholo oza kuthetha ngawo ngaphambi komtshato.
Ulwalamano olubi luchaphazela impilo yakho yomzimba kunye nengqondo
Uninzi lweemvakalelo ezingalunganga ziphelisa ubudlelwane kunye nemitshato kuba zichitha ukuzixabisa, imbeko kunye nenkxaso kumaqela abandakanyekayo. Ukufuna ukululekwa ngokwaselukholweni, amaqela enkxaso kuluntu, abacebisi ngezemali, kunye nabacebisi abaqeqeshiweyo zizisombululo ezingafanelekanga ukuba zichithwe ukuba ukungakhathali kubudlelwane kutshabalalisa iqabane ngalinye. Ubudlelwane bunokugcinwa ngoncedo oluqeqeshiweyo.