Umxholo
- 1. Yiqonde into yokuba akuwedwa
- 2. Kulungile ukuthetha ngesondo neqabane lakho
- 3. Yiya kwiholide
- 4. Zama into entsha
- 5. Musa ukoyika unyango ngesondo
- Unokulindela ntoni kunyango ngesondo?
Yiyiphi eya kuqala — yinkukhu okanye iqanda?
Kukho iimpikiswano ezilungileyo kubo bobabini, yiyo loo nto abantu bebonke bengeke bavumelane ngayo.
Umbuzo ofanayo uvela xa kufikwa kwizibini ezitshatileyo ezinemicimbi yesondo njengoko zinokujonga izinto ngolu hlobo.
Ngaba isondo somile sodwa kwaye sakhokelela kwimicimbi, okanye ngaba eminye imiba yangena kwigumbi lokulala ngenxa yokuchaphazeleka?
Ngamanye amaxesha impendulo yalombuzo kunzima ukuyikhomba. Imitshato ihlala inexesha elinzima kunye namaxesha ayo alula.
Xa sinamaxesha alula, izinto zihamba nje. Ngala maxesha, sinokuthatha njengenyaniso. Mhlawumbi sithatha nenani lesini esilinikwayo. Kodwa emva koko, kuza amaxesha anzima.
Mhlawumbi kukho umntwana omtsha kumxube, okanye esiya kwisixeko esitsha, okanye mhlawumbi umsebenzi omtsha okanye ukufa kusapho.
Amanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo ngaphezulu kwexesha elide aya kusenza sonke amandla kunye nolangazelelo lobomi. Ngamanye amaxesha, ekupheleni kosuku, kubonakala ngathi akukho nto iseleyo yokunika.
Umtshato wethu kunye nesondo ziphantsi kuluhlu lwezinto eziphambili. Ukujonga ezona zimvo zilungileyo zesini kubantu abatshatileyo akukho nakwisikimu sezinto ekufuneka sizenzile.
Ngelishwa, sihlala sibeka iingxaki zesondo emtshatweni kwisitovu esingasemva. Kwaye ixesha elingaphezulu, xa singakwenzi rhoqo, sitsho siphulukane ne-libido yethu.
Ukuba ujongene neengxaki kwigumbi lokulala, nazi iingcebiso ngesondo kwigumbi lokulala kunye neengcebiso kubantu abatshatileyo ukuba bazigcine engqondweni.
1. Yiqonde into yokuba akuwedwa
Inani elothusayo labantu abatshatileyo banemicimbi yesini emtshatweni wabo.
Kwaye ayimangalisi loo nto- ngaba ucinga ukuba ikhona indlela yokuba izibini ezitshatileyo zibe nesondo elifanayo? Iinkolelo ezifanayo ngesondo? Inqanaba elifanayo lokuthintela? Akho ndlela yimbi!
Ukusebenza ngokubambisana kwizinto ezibaluleke kakhulu kunokuba yinxalenye yento eyenza umtshato ube mkhulu. Ukuba sinokuhlangana ukusombulula iingxaki, sinokomelela.
Kwenzeka kuye wonke umntu. Ukwenza isondo ngcono emtshatweni kufuna iinzame ezingapheliyo. Le yenye yezona ngcebiso zilungileyo zesondo emtshatweni eziza kukunceda ekunciphiseni ubomi bakho obuphela ngokwesondo.
Ukuba ukungabikho kwesondo ngumba, ungomnye wabaninzi kwi-US ngokwe Iindaba zeendaba , phakathi kwe-15 ukuya kwi-20 yepesenti yabantu abatshatileyo banokufumana "umtshato ongabelani ngesondo," abanye abathi balala nawo amaxesha angaphantsi kweshumi ngonyaka.
Ngokwenziwa ngo-2017, ngaphezulu kwe-15% yamadoda kwaye phantse i-27% yabasetyhini baxele ukuba khange babelane ngesondo kunyaka ophelileyo.
Unobangela wesini esincinci emtshatweni inokuba zizinto ezininzi, kubandakanya imiba kubudlelwane, kwiindidi ezahlukeneyo zokungasebenzi kakuhle ngokwesondo. Ngokwe-WebMD, iipesenti ezingama-43 zabasetyhini kunye neepesenti ezingama-31 zamadoda zinobunzima obuthile besini.
Ke, awuwedwa. Imiba yesondo emtshatweni ichaphazela abantu abaninzi.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Indlela yokuCoca izinto phezulu kwigumbi lokulala
2. Kulungile ukuthetha ngesondo neqabane lakho
Into malunga nesondo kukuba asihambi kwiinkcukacha malunga nayo ngaphandle kwamaqabane ethu.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, ngexesha lokulala kwamantombazana, umxholo wemicimbi yokulala usetafileni, kodwa ngokwesiqhelo nje. I-nitty-gritty igcinelwe igumbi lokulala, njengoko kufanelekile.
Kodwa zininzi izibini ezingathethiyo ngesondo omnye komnye. Nokuba abacingi ukuba bafuna okanye baneentloni.
Amaxesha amaninzi abaqinisekanga ukuba kulungile ukuthetha ngawo, okanye abayazi indlela yokubeka amagama kwiimvakalelo zabo.
“Mhlawumbi ndiza kuyinxiba” okanye “Iyakuzisombulula” zezinye zeengcinga ezinokuthi zihambe kwiingqondo zabanye abantu.
Kodwa, kuya kufuneka uthethe ngesondo rhoqo. Xoxa ngezimvo zesini zoyilo kubantu abatshatileyo okanye ujonge kwi-intanethi ezinye iingcebiso ezipholileyo zokwenza uthando emtshatweni.
Ukuba utshatile ixesha elide kwaye umxholo awuzange uvele kwintetho yakho yomqamelo, mhlawumbi ungaziva usisidenge ngokuwuzisa ngoku. Awufuni ukwenza iqabane lakho lizive kakubi okanye awonwabanga yindlela izinto ezihamba ngayo.
Kodwa esi sisifundo esibaluleke kakhulu, kwaye asizenzekeli ngokuzenzekelayo yonke into iqikelelwe. Ke ayinakubenzakalisa ukuthetha ngayo — inokunceda kuphela.
Funda ngokugqithisileyo: Kukangaphi Abantu Abatshatileyo Benokwabelana Ngesondo
Ukuba unengxaki yokwaphula umkhenkce, bamba incwadi malunga nesondo kunye nomtshato, kwaye uyifunde ebhedini. Ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kubakho imibuzo kwincwadi; ungabuza iqabane lakho. "Ucinga ntoni ngalo mbuzo, sithandwa sam?"
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba iphele njengengxoxo ende, nangona ekugqibeleni inokuba njalo. Vavanya nje amanzi kancinci de nibe nobabini nikhululekile ngokuthetha ngawo.
Khumbula, iingxaki zesondo kwimitshato ziqhelekile, kwaye akukho nto inokuba neentloni ngayo wena neqabane lakho. Kwaye ukuthetha ngayo kuyanceda ukuba ufike kwingcambu yengxaki.
Njengoko ubona, kuyanceda ubudlelwane bakho; iyakukhuthaza kuphela ukuba niqhubeke nithetha ngakumbi ngesondo kunye.
3. Yiya kwiholide
Uphando lubonisa ukuba unxibelelwano olunzulu lweemvakalelo kunye neqabane lakho luyakunceda ukonwabele ukusondelelana nabo.
Enye yeengcebiso zesini ezilungileyo kwizibini ezitshatileyo kukwaphula i-monotony kwaye uthathe uhambo.
Ukuba kukho ukunqongophala kwemali kuloo nto, thatha nje uhambo olude emva kwesidlo sangokuhlwa, cwangcisa usuku olude, olukhethekileyo okanye wonwabele isidlo sangokuhlwa sepikniki- nantoni na enenza ukuba nonwabe nobabini. Ukuthetha kuya kukudibanisa kwaye kukwenze ukwazi ukunxibelelana nzulu.
Nasi isizathu sokuba izibini ezihamba kunye zihlale kunye kwaye zibe nobudlelwane obuphilileyo.
4. Zama into entsha
Ukulala ngesondo kwigumbi lokulala kunokuba yinto ekruqulayo. Ke, ungabelana njani ngesondo esingcono emtshatweni?
Kubalulekile ukuba wophule inkanuko yesini ngokuhlala ujonga izimvo ezinomdla ezijolise kwisini esingcono kwizibini ezitshatileyo.
Malunga nokuba neentlobano zesini ezilungileyo emtshatweni, sukuvumela ukuba ubomi bakho ngokwesondo buqikeleleke kuwe okanye kwiqabane lakho.
Ngenxa yokuba utshatile oko akuthethi ukuba awunakuba nakho ukuzonwabisa ebhedini. Xoxa ngeminqweno yakho elubala neqabane lakho, zama izikhundla ezitsha, iithoyi zesini, kunye nemibono emitsha.
Kuya kuba luncedo ukuzama iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokulala kubantu abatshatileyo veki nganye okanye inyanga ukugcina i-buzz iphila kubomi bakho bobulili.
5. Musa ukoyika unyango ngesondo
Ukuba kukho imiba yokwabelana ngesondo emtshatweni wakho kwaye nobabini aniqinisekanga ukuba nenze ntoni, enye yezona zinto zibalaseleyo onokuzenza kukuya kwisini okanye kwingcali yomtshato.
Akukho nto inokoyikwa xa kufikwa kunyango ngesondo. Ukunyaniseka, le nguwe kunye neqabane lakho eliza kugqirha kwaye nithethe. Yiyo leyo.
Ngelixa ukuxoxa ngalo mbandela kunokuba nzima ekuqaleni-khumbula ukuba ugqirha wakho usebenza nezibini ezininzi ezinemicimbi efanayo. Kungekudala ukunyaniseka kwabo kuya kubahlaziya njengoko nobabini nithetha ngeemvakalelo zenu. Iya kuziva ikhululeka kakhulu, phofu.
Kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo, unyango luye lwancipha kwaye lwamkelwa ngokubanzi.
Kuqhelekile ukuba abantu abadala bafune uncedo kunyangi oluthile. Ewe kunjalo, kubandakanya zonke iintlobo zemicimbi, kubandakanya nemicimbi yobudlelwane.Okwangoku, ibonisa into enye ephambili-ukuba abantu abaninzi baxhomekeke kuncedo lweengcali zempilo yengqondo.
Unokulindela ntoni kunyango ngesondo?
Ewe kunjalo, oko kuxhomekeke kunyangi, kodwa ngokubanzi, ulapho ukuze ufumane iingcebiso ezisebenzisayo zesini kubomi obonwabileyo emtshatweni kwaye uxoxe ngemicimbi yakho yokusondelelana.
Ngamanye amaxesha awuqinisekanga oyena nobangela wayo — kwimeko enjalo, ugqirha uya kuzama ukukunceda ukuba uyiqonde — ngamanye amaxesha, uyazi ukuba yintoni, kodwa awukwazi ukudlula kuyo.
Ukuthetha ngayo kunye nengcali kuya kukunceda, kwaye iqabane lakho lifike ekuqondeni okungcono kwaye ngethemba lokuphucula iingcinga kunye neenkolelo zakho malunga nokwabelana ngesondo.
Injongo ephambili kukunceda amava akho ezesondo kunye neqabane lakho ngoncedo lweengcamango zesondo kubantu abatshatileyo kunye nokuqonda ngesondo esingcono emtshatweni.
Khumbula, isondo akufuneki sibe kukungxamiseka komzimba kuphela, kodwa ithenda, unxibelelwano olunomdla. Ngaphandle kobudlelwane obudlalayo, obunothando, isondo iba yenye into ebilahla umbono wayo, onokonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho.
Ezi zezinye zezona ngcebiso zilungileyo zesini kwizibini ezitshatileyo kwaye zinokukunceda wena neqabane lakho ukuba nifumane imincili kunye nemincili kulawulo lwenu lwezesondo enakha nafumana.