Umxholo
- UDennis Paget
- UMarc Sadoff - MSW, BCD
- UAngela Skurtu, M.Ed., LMFT
- UGqirha Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.
- UGqr Rae Mazzei, uPh.D., CADC, BCB.
- UJustin Tobin, uLCSW
- UMoushumi Ghose, MFT
- UAgnes Oh, PsyD, LMFT
- ILyndsey Fraser, MA, LMFT, CST
- URoseann Adams, uLCSW
- UFarah Hussain Baig, uLCSW
- U-Edward Riddick-ICAMS-2, MDR, MA, ThM
Gcina umtshato wakho kuqhawulo mtshato
Amanani oqhawulo mtshato akhula ngokuncamisileyo eUnited States of America. Okwangoku, malunga ne-40 ukuya kwi-50 yepesenti yemitshato apho iphela kuqhawulo mtshato.
Iziko lomtshato lifikelele kwinqanaba eliyingozi apho kuphela isiqingatha semitshato iyonke esinda ebomini, kwaye yonke enye inyanzeliswa indlela yoqhawulo-mtshato.
Zininzi izizathu zokuba kutheni amaxabiso oqhawulo-mtshato enyuka. Esinye sezizathu ezibalulekileyo zokungakuphepheli uqhawulo mtshato kukuba Abantu abayibeki imizamo eyoneleyo yokulungisa imitshato yabo eyaphukileyo.
Uqhawulo-mtshato alusasebenzi, kwaye umtshato ophelileyo awusayi kujongana noxinzelelo lwasentlalweni okanye isoyikiso sokwahlulwa. Nangona eli linyathelo elihle kakhulu eluntwini, lenze uqhawulo-mtshato lube yinto eqhelekileyo.
Uninzi lwabantu lukufumanisa kulula ukuqhawula umtshato kwaye kulula ngakumbi kunokwenyani ukulungisa umtshato nokuzama ukuthintela uqhawulo-mtshato ngokusombulula iingxaki zabo kubudlelwane.
Xa abantu bengena kubudlelwane, ngakumbi umtshato, batyala ixesha elininzi, amandla kunye neemvakalelo kuwo.
Kule minyaka, bonke ubudlelwane buhamba ngamaxesha anzima kwaye bubangela iintlungu kunye nokwenzakala kubantu ababandakanyekayo. Kodwa ngaba kububulumko ukuyeka ulwalamano ngokupheleleyo ngenxa yoko?
Ngokuqinisekileyo akunjalo! Ixesha liyadlula, kwaye emva koko, bonke ubunzima buyaphela, kodwa kunjalo kubalulekile ukukhusela umtshato wakho ngelo xesha.
Ukungalungisi umtshato okanye ukuyeka uqhawulo-mtshato sisisombululo sokungavisisani phakathi kwamaqabane, hayi umzabalazo wobudlelwane bethutyana.
Ukuba ufumana amaxesha anzima kunye neengxaki zomtshato ezityhala ubudlelwane bakho emaphethelweni, nazi iingcebiso zoncedo lomtshato zokuphepha ukuqhawula umtshato kunye nendlela yokulungisa umtshato owaphukileyo.
Jonga kwakhona:
Kule nqaku, iingcali ezili-12 zobudlelwane zibonisa iindlela ezintle zokumisa uqhawulo-mtshato okanye indlela yokuthintela uqhawulo-mtshato, kunye nendlela yokuwusindisa umtshato wakho:
1) Musa ukutsiba uqhawulo mtshato ngaphandle kokwenza umsebenzi womtshato wakho kuqala Tweet oku
UDennis Paget
UMcebisi ngonyango obhalisiweyo
Thatha uxanduva ngendlela owenza ngayo emtshatweni wakho. Ngaba usebenzisa iingcali zobudlelwane kwaye ubeke iingcebiso zabo kwizenzo?
Ngaba ukhumbula ekhaya kwaye uqhagamshela neqabane lakho ushiya kwaye ungena kubudlelwane? Ngaba uthatha ixesha lokuthetha? Ngaba uthatha ixesha lokusondelana?
Ngaba uyonwaba neqabane lakho? Ngaba udala indawo nganye kunye nolwalamano lothando ukuba lukhule?
Ude wenze umsebenzi onzima wokubonakalisa ngaphakathi kunye nokwakha umtshato omtsha, ayilixesha, kwaye kuya kufuneka uyeke uqhawulo-mtshato.
2) Landela imigaqo-7 yokusombulula ukungavisisani kunye nokuthintela uqhawulo-mtshato: Tweet oku
UMarc Sadoff - MSW, BCD
Ingcali yengqondo
- Thatha ixesha lokuphuma kwaye ubuye ngaphakathi kweyure
- Yiba ngowokuqala ukuthi, “Uxolo.”
- 'Amagama akho okuqala' achaza into oyithethileyo okanye oyenzileyo eyenze yambi
- Funa kuqala ukuqonda iqabane lakho, ngaphambi kokuzifunela ukuqonda
- Ukujonga kwimfesane, endaweni yokuchaneka
- Funa uncedo ukuba awukwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho okanye indlela oziphethe ngayo
- Ngalo lonke ixesha khumbula uyalithanda iqabane lakho
3) Cinga, ingaba wenze konke ukuze ugcine umtshato wakho? Tweet oku
UAngela Skurtu, M.Ed., LMFT
Umtshato onelayisensi kunye noNyango losapho
Enye indlela yokuhlangula ubudlelwane kunye nokugcina umtshato kuqhawulo mtshato: Ngaba uziva ukuba wenze konke okusemandleni ukugcina lo mtshato? Ukuba akunjalo, kuya kufuneka uye kwicounselling kwaye ubone.
Imitshato emininzi iphela ngenxa yokuba abantu bebengayazi into abanokuyenza ukulungisa imeko. Akukho mntu unayo yonke impendulo. Kunokuba luncedo ukuthetha nomntu ongaphandle ozama nje ukunceda.
Xa kuthethwa oko, ngokufanelekileyo, abantu baya kuthi bafune iingcebiso ngaphambi kokuqhawula umtshato.
Olu hlobo lonyango lunzima ngendlela engathethekiyo, kwaye kunokuba nzima kakhulu kwizibini ezitshatileyo ukuba zisebenze ngeentlobo zenzondo eziza nokuqhawula umtshato.
Ndingathanda ukubona abantu kwangoko ukuze ndibancede baphucule imeko.
4) Yiba sesichengeni, uthethe ngokusuka entliziyweni Tweet oku
UGqirha Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.
Umtshato kunye neNyanga yoSapho
Xa ubudlelwane bupholile, siziva sisengozini ngenxa yokuba asisazi "omnye umntu"; elowo kuthi uzimele ngasemva kukhuselo lwethu.
Kodwa xa siziva sisengozini ngakumbi, kokukhona sishiya umva ngokwasemphefumlweni- opholisa ubudlelwane ngakumbi.
Ukwazi indlela yokuwusindisa umtshato elunxwemeni loqhawulo-mtshato, kufuneka siyeke ukuhlasela njengesixhobo sokuzikhusela kwaye sizithande ngokwaneleyo ukuba sikulungele ukuba sesichengeni, okt, yinyani komnye nomnye.
Ukuthetha ngokusuka entliziyweni kunokuvula kwakhona umnyango kwaye kwehle ukuzikhusela.
5) Ngamaxesha engxabano, khumbula ukuba yintoni eyadibanisa Tweet oku
UGqr Rae Mazzei, uPh.D., CADC, BCB.
Ugqirha wezengqondo
Ngaphambi kokwenza isigqibo soqhawulo-mtshato, izibini ziyakhuthazwa ukuba zicingisise malunga nokuba kutheni bezizinikele omnye komnye.
Enye yeendlela zokusindisa umtshato kuqhawulo mtshato kukuba ku-recall iimvakalelo ezazikhe zakudibanisa.
Khawufane ucinge ngomntu omangalisayo owawuthandana naye kwaye umthanda kwasekuqaleni. Ukuba ungaqala ukufikelela kwiimvakalelo ezintle kunye neenkumbulo onazo kwiqabane lakho, uya kuba nethuba lokuphinda ujonge isigqibo sakho sokuqhawula umtshato.
6) Khumbula iinkumbulo ezilungileyo Tweet oku
UJustin Tobin, uLCSW
Ugqirha
Ungawuhlangula njani umtshato wakho kuqhawulo mtshato? Phinda wenze unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo kunye neqabane lakho ngokubonakalisa ngomhla wakho womtshato.
Phinda uqwalasele izifungo zakho, thetha ngenkxaso oyivileyo ngabo babekho, kunye namagama othando (kunye neendawo ezihlazo) zeentetho kunye nazo zonke iindawo eziphakathi.
Kwaye musa ukushiya iinkumbulo ezinje ngexa umalume wakho uBob ebonise imidaniso yakhe!
7) Ukwamkelwa ngobuhlobo Tweet oku
UMoushumi Ghose, MFT
Iingcali zonyango
Elinye icebiso endilicebisa kakhulu kwizibini malunga nendlela yokugcina nokulungisa umtshato kuqhawulo mtshato Ukwamkelwa ngobuhlobo.
Ukufunda ukwamkela iqabane lethu ukuba bangoobani, Ukungahlali uzama ukutshintsha ukuba ngoobani abanokuba sisitshixo sokugcina ubudlelwane. Kubo bonke ubomi bethu, siyatshintsha, siyakhula, siyavela. Oku akunakuphepheka.
Nangona kunjalo, oku kunokuba sisongelo kwimeko yobudlelwane. Sibambelele ngokuqinileyo kumaqabane ethu, kwinkalo ethile yobudlelwane bethu, amandla amakhulu, kwaye naluphi na uhlobo lotshintsho luyothusa.
Ukuba siyasabela, kwaye sithintele iqabane lethu ukuba lingakhuli, ekuhambeni kwexesha oku kungakhubaza kwaye kukhubaze iqabane lethu kunye nolwalamano, ekugqibeleni kukhokelele kuqhawulo mtshato.
Ngokuqonda nokubona iqabane lethu njengomhlobo, umntu esimfunela okona kulungileyo, umntu esifuna ukumbona onwabile kwaye ephumelele kwaye siqonda ukuba ngokunika amaqabane ethu amaphiko, nathi siyakubhabha inokuba lelona thuba likhululekileyo.
8) Phinda ujonge imbali oyenzileyo kunye Tweet oku
UAgnes Oh, PsyD, LMFT
Ugqirha wezengqondo
Umtshato ngumnqophiso ongcwele phakathi kwabantu ababini, uzibophelela kubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli.
Ngokwenyani, nangona kunjalo, izibini zihlala zihlangana namaxesha anzima kwimizamo eqhubekayo yokugcina isibambiso esisenyongweni.
Ukuba kwaye naxa kuchithwa umtshato kufuneka kuthathelwe ingqalelo, kunokuthathwa njengempawu yokuqhekeka, kubangele iintlungu ezigqithisileyo kubudlelwane.
Xa ujongene nala maxesha abuthathaka, kubalulekile ukuba ucinge ngokunyanga kunye nokuchacha kuqala nangaphambi kokwenza izigqibo.
Ke indlela yokumisa uqhawulo-mtshato kwaye ugcine umtshato wakho?
Ndingakhuthaza naziphi na izibini ezijamelene nengxaki enjalo Phinda ujonge imbali abayenzileyo, babelane ngayo, kwaye bathetha kunye ngexesha lokuhamba kwabo kunye.
Umtshato ngowokwenza imbali, kwaye isibini ngasinye sinethuba elilodwa lokwenza njalo. Xa inkqubo enjalo iqhekeka ngenxa yaso nasiphi na isizathu, kuya kuba kubaluleke kakhulu kwizibini ezitshatileyo ukuba ziqale ukuba buhlungu zelahleko kwaye ziphilise kuyo.
Kwinkqubo, umnyango omtsha unokuvulelwa ukutyhila kunye nokufumana kwakhona intsingiselo ebalulekileyo enikezelwe kwiakhawunti yabo eyahlukileyo.
Nokuba sithathe siphi isigqibo emva koko, zonke izibini zifanelwe lixesha elaneleyo lokuxela nokubhiyozela impumelelo yabo eyodwa abayifumene kunye ukuze bafumane esona sisombululo sisengqiqweni.
9) Yaphula umjikelo wempixano ongathandekiyo Tweet oku
ILyndsey Fraser, MA, LMFT, CST
Umtshato onelayisensi kunye noNyango losapho
Xa isibini sisecicini lokuqhawula umtshato, kuqhelekile ukuba ubambeke kumjikelo wengxabano okhokelela kwiimvakalelo ezingalunganga malunga neqabane lakho.
Umjikelo omnye oqhubekayo ophindaphindiweyo endiwubonayo rhoqo kuxa elinye iqabane libalulekile, kwaye omnye umntu ekhusela. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kwiqabane elinye, kokukhona uzikhusela ngakumbi omnye umntu.
Ingxaki ngokugxeka uhlasela iqabane lakho ngaphakathi. Nanini na xa umntu evakalelwa kukuba umlinganiswa wakhe uyahlaselwa, impendulo ezenzekelayo ithi 'ukuzikhusela'.
Xa iqabane lizikhusela, oko kukhokelela kwelinye iqabane lingaziva ngathi, oko kunokubangela iingxelo ezibaluleke ngakumbi. Ngoku esi sibini sikumjikelo ongapheliyo wokungakhathali odala ubutshaba ngakumbi!
Endaweni yoko ndiyakukhuthaza ukuba utshintshe lo mjikelo. Nika isikhalazo endaweni yoko okanye ukhethe ukungaphenduli ngokuzikhusela. Isikhalazo sigxile kwindlela yokuziphatha nakwindlela esikuchaphazele ngayo endaweni yomntu lowo.
Endaweni yokuzikhusela, yima, ubuze iqabane lakho ukuba yeyiphi indlela aziphatha ngayo kubudlelwane kwaye amagama abo avakala ngathi kukuhlaselwa.
Xa u yenza into eyahlukileyo, inyanzela ukuba nobabini nicinge ngaphambi kokuba nisabele kwaye xa nicinga ukuba nibe nakho ukufumana iziphumo ezahlukileyo.
10) Zibophelele ekunxibelelaneni ngobubele Tweet oku
URoseann Adams, uLCSW
Ingcali yengqondo
Elinye icandelo lengcebiso endinokulinika malunga nokuba wenzeni xa iqabane lakho lifuna uqhawulo-mtshato kukuzibophelela ekunxibelelaneni ngobubele. Rhoqo ngeli xesha izibini zifika kwiofisi yonyango lomtshato, babuza imibuzo ngekamva lobambiswano lwabo.
Unxibelelwano lwabo lutyebile kunye neenkcazo ezichaziweyo zendlela umntu amonzakalise ngayo omnye. Izikhalazo zabo zinendawo yokugxekwa kunye nokungabi nathemba, ukurhoxa ngomsindo.
Ukudityaniswa kweempikiswano ezingasonjululwanga eziphindaphindiweyo, uxinzelelo olungapheliyo, kunye nokungathembani ngokubanzi kusenokuphazamisa amandla esi sibini ekusombululeni iingxaki kunye nentsebenziswano.
Imisebenzi ekwabelwana ngayo ibe ngamathuba engxabano kunye nokudana. Izigqibo ekwabelwana ngazo ziye zaba ziindawo zokungavisisani. Baziva besemngciphekweni ngokweemvakalelo kwinkampani yomnye nomnye.
Ukuthandana, ukuthantamisa, uvelwano, novelwano luphelile, kwaye ezi zibini zithandanayo ngoku ziphathana njengabantu abangabaziyo ekude okanye iintshaba ezinomsindo kumdaniso ongapheliyo wohlaselo-rhoxisa, hlasela-rhoxisa.
Baneenkumbulo ezimbalwa zamva nje zohlobo lomzuzu ekwabelwana ngazo kwaye kubonakala ngathi bazilungiselela ukulwa rhoqo nengxoxo-mpikiswano. Ngawaphi amandla aqinisekileyo kukuthintela ubuthi obunxulumene nolwalamano? Ububele.
Ububele buchazwa “njengophawu lokuba nobuhlobo, ukuba nesisa nokuba nolwazelelelo.”
Xa unxibelelwano emtshatweni lusondela kunye nokuzibophelela ekunxibelelaneni ngobubele, izixhobo ezikhuselayo kodwa eziyingozi zomsindo zinokubekelwa bucala kwaye zithathelwe indawo kukuvuleleka, isibindi kunye nokukhathalelana.
Ububele buyaphilisa. Ububele bukhuthaza uxolo, bunciphisa ubukrakra, kwaye buthoba uloyiko. Ukuzibophelela ekunxibelelaneni nobubele kudala amathuba okuvuselela iintlantsi zothando, umtsalane wothando.
Ukwenza imbali entsha yokunxibelelana kohlobo kwenza ukuba amaqabane akhe kwakhona ukuthembana kwaye ayeke noqhawulo-mtshato.
Ngaba kujongeka njani ukuzibophelela ekudibaneni nobubele?
- Yiba luncedo kwaye uxhase, nokuba oko kuthetha ukuphuma endleleni yakho.
- Ukuba negalelo ekusombululeni iingxaki nokwenza izinto.
- Veza umbulelo kunye nombulelo.
- Yenza izicelo ngomonde ngaphandle kokufuna okanye ukugxeka.
- Yiba ngowokuqala ukubonelela ngoxolo nokulungisa.
- Thatha uxanduva ngeempazamo zakho, kwaye wenze izilungiso zokwenyani.
- Yenza into kuba inokwenza ulonwabo kwiqabane lakho.
- Mamela, khumbula, kwaye ubonise ukuba uyakhathala ngezinto ezibalulekileyo kwiqabane lakho.
- Thetha kwaye wenze ngononophelo.
- Sondela kungquzulwano kunye nokungavumelani kunye nokuzimisela ukuqonda uluvo lomnye.
Ukuzibophelela ekunxibelelaneni nobubele akunakwanela kuzo zonke iimeko ukugcina yonke imitshato, kodwa ngaphandle kokuzibophelela ekunxibelelaneni nobubele akunathuba lokwenyani lokuqhawula umtshato.
Uthando lusenokubonakala ngathi alunamsebenzi kwaye lulula ekuqaleni, kodwa ukugcina uthando luphila ixesha elingaphaya kobomi kufuna ukuzibophelela kumgangatho ofanayo wobubele obunomdla.
Kwigama elinye elinamandla, lomlingo, eliphilisayo, ububele, isitshixo sokwenza uthando luhlale.
11)Ukuzibonakalisa nokuziphendulela Tweet oku
UFarah Hussain Baig, uLCSW
Unontlalontle oLayisenisiweyo weKlinikhi
“Ukuzibonakalisa nokuziphendulela kubalulekile ukonga umtshato kumtshato woqhawulo-mtshato.
Uvavanyo oluhambelanayo kunye nobunini beengcinga nokuziphatha komntu kunye nefuthe lakhe emtshatweni kubalulekile kubudlelwane bokuphilisa nokukhula.
Indawo engenayo le nto ingakhokelela ekunikezelweni ngeminwe, inzondo, kunye nomonakalo ongenakulungiswa. ”
12) Iingcebiso ezi-3 zokuba noMtshato owonwabileyo kakhulu Tweet oku
U-Edward Riddick-ICAMS-2, MDR, MA, ThM
Umcebisi womtshato
- Qonda umjikelo wongquzulwano olunxibelelanayo kwaye ufunde indlela yokuwaphula.
- Funda indlela yokujongana ngempumelelo neyantlukwano yakho kunye nemicimbi yokwenyani kubudlelwane bakho ne-100% yokunyaniseka nentlonipho kwaye
- Funda ngendlela yokuphuhlisa "umkhwa wokutshata" kubudlelwane bakho.
Ndiyazi ukuba ngumlomo. Ngokucacileyo, nganye yezi nkalo zoqeqesho olusekwe kubuchule ziya kuthatha ixesha ukuba zityhile. Kodwa ezi nkalo zezi zinto zithathayo ukukhulisa umtshato owonwabisayo kakhulu.
Ukulandela ezi ngcebiso ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kumisa izibini ekuqhawuleni umtshato okanye kulibazise ukuqhawula umtshato ukugcina umtshato kwimicimbi yomtshato engenamsebenzi kwaye ubancede basombulule ukungavisisani kwabo ngendlela eyakhayo