Umxholo
- Umntu uzilungiselela njani ukuba ngumfazi emhlabeni?
- Nangona kunjalo, kukho "iinyaniso" ezithile endizifundileyo
- Kwimitshato ephumelelayo, imeko "yokuthandana" iqhubela phambili "ukuthanda" iqabane likabani
Ke, ukho-uyifumene le uceba ukutshata nayo okanye unethemba lokuba uza kutshata nalowo umbonayo ngoku. Okanye awutshatanga kwaye ulinde iqabane elifanelekileyo ukuba livele. Kwaye uyazibuza:
Umntu uzilungiselela njani ukuba ngumfazi emhlabeni?
Ndifuna ukunyaniseka kuwe. Umtshato wam wokuqala wawuhlala iminyaka eli-13 - le minyaka mibini idlulileyo yachitha kwinkqubo yoqhawulo mtshato. Akukho mnandi, ndiyakuqinisekisa, kodwa kunyanzelekile. Mna ke bendineminyaka emibini "yokuphumla" njengomama ongatshatanga, nditshatile kwakhona, kwaye bendinomtshato omnandi, apho besisandula ukubhiyozela isikhumbuzo seminyaka engama-36.
Kodwa oku kuthe, ndinqwenela ukuba ndikhe ndazama kunye neengcebiso eziyinyani ngawe. Umzekelo, ukuba bendithe, "Ungaze ulale unomsindo" (isiluleko sobulumko, ewe), kuya kufuneka nditsho ukuba abanye abantu bafuna ubusuku ngaphambi kokuba baxoxe ngengxaki. Ukuba ndithe, "Funda ukuba nesifiso sokuziphatha ngokwesondo," kuya kufuneka nditsho ukuba abanye banokukhetha ukuthatha inxaxheba kubomi bezesondo ngokuthe chu. Ukuba ndakucebisa ukuba ufunde ukuba yincutshe yompheki, kuya kufuneka ndikuxelele ukuba amanye amadoda akasoze akuxabise oku.
Iyacetyiswa Ikhosi yangaphambi komtshato
Nangona kunjalo, kukho "iinyaniso" ezithile endizifundileyo
Abo banexesha elilula kubomi bomtshato bakhulele kwikhaya apho abazali babo bahloniphana ngokunzulu, bafundile ukungavumelani (kunye nokuphikisana) kwaye baphuhlise ubugcisa bokwenza izigqibo-ngamanye amaxesha ngenye indlela, ngamanye amaxesha enye, ngamanye amaxesha ukulalanisa. Ngapha koko, bakhulela kwikhaya apho uthando kunye nokukhathalela phakathi kwamaqabane kubonakala ngokucacileyo. Ngokubalulekileyo, bakhulela kwikhaya apho uthando belusoloko ludluliselwa kubo, kwaye baziva bekhuselekile kwaye bekhathalelwe.
Ndiqinisekile ngale:
Kwimitshato ephumelelayo, imeko "yokuthandana" iqhubela phambili "ukuthanda" iqabane likabani
Olu tshintsho lusekwe kwintlonipho yomnye kunye nendlela umntu alibona ngayo iqabane lihlala ubomi balo-lijongana nelishwa, ukuphoxeka, ukulahleka, kunye novuyo kunye nempumelelo. Ewe, ukuba "sothandweni" kunokubanjwa ngamaxesha omlingo kunye, kodwa ubugcisa bokuhlala kakuhle kunye buxhomekeke kumgangatho wesiqu sakho kunye nokuhloniphana kulwalamano.
Kukho enye into ekufuneka uyiqwalasele njengoko ulungiselela ukuba ngumfazi: Kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zomtshato, kwaye kubalulekile ukufumana iqabane elifunayo kwaye elilungele uhlobo olunye kunye nomgangatho womtshato owunqwenelayo. Ungaze ulindele ukutshata nomntu kwaye umtshintshe.
Uhlobo lomtshato olunothando, lwedemokhrasikuchazwe ngasentla. Kule manyano, injongo kukutshata nomntu omnye, ukwabelana ngokunyanisekileyo kunye nothando oluzinikeleyo.
Olu thando luhlala ludlulela kubantwana bakho nakusapho olongezelelekileyo (ukuba amalungu osapho olwandisiweyo ayayiqonda into yokuba isibini esisandul 'ukutshata sidinga ixesha labucala ukuqala ukutshintsha uhambo lwabo kubomi bomtshato). Kule mitshato, elinye okanye omabini amaqabane ajonga ukhuphiswano njengolwenza kunye nokuba lolona lubalaseleyo. Amandla asiyo njongo. Umsebenzi olungileyo kunye nokuzimisela kunye nomzamo.
Umtshato weShishini, apho iinjongo eziphambili zibandakanya amabhongo kunye namandla. Kumtshato onjalo, ukutshata nomntu ongatshatanga naye akubalulekanga kangako. Ke ngoko, kubalulekile ukuba ukuba utsalelekile kulowo unqwenela olu hlobo lomtshato, kodwa unqwenela into eyahluke mpela, kufuneka uliqonde ixabiso eliza kuhlawulwa ngolu hlobo lomanyano. Ngamanye amaxesha kuMtshato weShishini, omnye okanye bobabini babakhathalele ngokunzulu abantwana babo, kwaye kuhlala kukho ulindelo lokuba abantwana baya kuqhuba ngempumelelo kunye nokufezekiswe ngabazali babo. Kodwa ke amaxesha amaninzi abantwana ababalulekanga. Ngaphaya koko, kukho iimeko apho ilungu elinye lentsebenziswano libonisa inkathalo, ukubandakanyeka kunye nokuzinikela kunyana okanye kwintombi kunakwilungu lomlingane.
Umtshato waseHollywood: Kule manyano abantu ababini benza ubomi obusondeleyo babucala, obungenanto yakwenza nobomi basekhaya. Ekhaya, nangona kunjalo, kunokwabelwana ngemisitho yosapho kunye nokukhathalela ukuba omnye okanye bobabini bazabalaze nzima ukugcina.
Owu, hayi indlela endinqwenela ngayo ukuba bendizamile kwaye neengcebiso eziyinyani ekunikezeleni ezinokukuqinisekisa ngempumelelo enkulu emtshatweni. Okanye ndinqwenela ukuba ne-wand magic ukuba ndinikele ngayo enokukuzisela le mpumelelo. Kodwa ndingatsho oku:
Okukhona uzithanda kwaye uzazi wena kunye neemfuno zakho kunye neminqweno yakho ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo sokuzibophelela emtshatweni, kokukhona uya kuba ngcono.
Khumbula xa ucinga ngokulungiselela ukuba ngumfazi ukuze ucinge ngohlobo lomtshato owubonileyo ukhula, nokuba ingaba olu luphawu olufunayo okanye hayi. Kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, yazi ukuba iimpazamo kuthando nakubomi ngamava okufunda. Iimpazamo zisinceda siziqonde ngakumbi ukuba singoobani, asingoobani, kunye nolwalathiso lwethu lobulumko. Ngethamsanqa kuhambo lwakho!