Umxholo
- Ukusinda emtshatweni neqabane elivalelweyo
- Ukugcina umtshato ophilileyo kunye nokuma okuzinzileyo kwengqondo
Bathi unyaka wokuqala emtshatweni ngowona nyaka ulula oya kuba nawo. Yonke into intsha. Ukufunda kwakho ngomnye nomnye. Kwaye, isini asiyongxaki kakhulu.
Umhlobo wam osisilumko, owayetshatile malunga neminyaka engama-30 ngokwakhe, wakhe wathi, “Kunyaka wokuqala emtshatweni aninako ukwanela omnye komnye, ungamtya nje, ze kule 20 izayo ube akwaba ubunayo. ”
Ngokusisiseko, yonke into ex ex narcissistic yayingeyiyo. Kwakukho inye kuphela intombazana encinci yokubambisa iphupha lam lizaliseka ... Wayesele eza kuya ejele.
Ndadibana nomyeni wam kungekudala emva kokubaleka iminyaka eli-12 yobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo. URonnie wayeyimpendulo kwimithandazo yam. Unobubele, uyacinga, uswiti, uthetha ngokuthambileyo, unomdla, uyathandana, njl.
Ngoku ndiyazi ukuba abanye benu bacinga ntoni, "Omg, esi saphuli-mthetho singayiphendula njani imithandazo yakho?". Mandikunqande kanye apho.
Umyeni wam akangobengelosi; Nangona kunjalo, uyindoda elungileyo izama ukuguqula ubomi bayo. Wayesele esenza imitsi eya kwikamva elingcono ngaphambi kokuba ndingene emfanekisweni.
Ngaphandle kokungena nzulu kwimicimbi yakhe yobuqu, yonke into endizakuyithetha kukuba umyeni wam entolongweni ulwaphulo-mthetho olungenabundlobongela oluncinci / umenzi weziyobisi ohlawula ityala lakhe eluntwini.
Wayesele ehlambulukile ngaphambi kokudibana nam; nangona kunjalo, wayesagwetywa ngexesha lethu lokuqala "ukuthandana," ngokungathi kunjalo.
Ukusinda emtshatweni neqabane elivalelweyo
Umyeni wam ngoku ukhonza ixesha kwintolongo yedolophu kwidolophu esihlala kuyo. Nge-4th, ebehlala apho iinyanga ezisi-8 ezinde, ezinzima.
Ngelixa bendisazi ngesigwebo sakhe esidlulileyo kunye nokuvalelwa ejele, bendisathi, "Ewe," kulo mbuzo mdala wokuba ingaba andifuni na ukuhlala nalo mntu ngonaphakade, kwaye ngenxa yerekhodi, ndingavuya ukwenza njalo kwakhona.
Emva kokuba abatshati befundisiwe, kwaye yonke inkanuko yenyama iqhubekile, ndaqala ukucinga ngokusinda emtshatweni kunye nendlela yokujongana nomntu endimthandayo avalelwe.
I-ex yam yayihlukumeza ngokwengqondo nangokwasemzimbeni kum iminyaka eyi-12 sikunye. Sasidibene xa ndandineminyaka eli-17. Ndingaphonononga nzulu kuwo wonke umntu, kodwa lelo libali lolunye usuku.
Nokuba kunjalo, uRonnie wayeyinkwenkwe yam yesi-3 kuphela, kwaye nomyeni wam wokuqala kunye nam sasingazange sibe naye nabani na owayefanele enze "ixesha" ngaphambili.
Bendingazi nto kwaphela ngenkqubo yonke phambi kokuba abanjwe. Ke iingcinga ezijikelezayo entlokweni yam zindixelela ukuba ndilindele ntoni kwaye ndiziva njani ngayo yonke into ibibambe iindiza.
Ndiyazi ukuba # 1 kuya kufuneka ndihambe ngaphandle kwesondo okungenani unyaka kunye # 2 ukuba okokuqala ebomini bam, bendiza kuhlala kwaye ndihlawule onke amatyala ndindedwa.
Pssshh .... Akukho nto inkulu kwaphela. Ndandihlala ndisebenzisa umbono wokuba iqabane lam lalisebenza ngesondo njengam (ex wayeneminyaka eyi-10 emdala ngemicimbi yezempilo).
Kwakhona, bendizixhasa ngokwam ngokwezimali ukusukela ngaphambi kokuba ndiguqule i-18 ngokwenene (ayibubo obona bomi bumnandi ekhaya, kwakhona, elinye ibali lolunye usuku). HA! Ngaba I was one wrong uChica.
Manene namanenekazi afunda oku anezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo ezitshixelwe ixesha elide, nangasiphi na isizathu, ndifuna ukuqala ngokuqhwaba izandla nina bantu. Lo ibingowona unyaka unzima, uxinzelelo, kwaye ungoyena mntu ungenakuzinceda ebomini bam.
Nkqu Izifundo zamva nje ndiqinisekisile ukuba ukuvalelwa kuyonyusa kakhulu amathuba okuqhawula umtshato kwaye kuguqula umvuzo kunye neendleko zomtshato kunye nokutsala okuhambelana namanye amaqabane.
Into endayilumkiswa ngumamazala wam ngaphambi kokuba angene yayikukuba ukuba ingahamba kakubi, iya kuthi xa ilapho kwaye ingabinakho ukwenza into embi ukunceda, uMfana wayenyanisile!
Ndihambile mhlawumbi amaxesha angama-6 (Ukuhambisa i-freaking sucks)! Ndisindile, umthi wawela eluphahleni kwaye wabetha unyawo lwam (awunako ukuyenza le nto), njl. Uyabona apho ndiya khona nale nto, ndiqinisekile.
Okokuqala, thatha umphefumlo onzulu kwaye uqengqele ngenqindi lomntwana kuba uxinzelelo kwaye ulahlekelwe yingqondo akuyi kulungisa nawuphi na umqobo ojamelene nawo ngoku.
Ndilawule umqhubi wenqwelomoya phakathi kwidolophu yakowethu encinci xa ndandidibana nomyeni wam naxa wayeqala ukubanjwa.
Owu, ngaba ndikhankanyile ukuba ndinengxaki ye-Bipolar Disorder (kwakhona elinye ibali). Nangona kunjalo, ndaphelelwa ngumsebenzi ngosuku olulandelayo kuba wayebanjiwe kumhlaba wabo, kwaye ndabamela.
Kakhulu! Ndisebenze apho phantse iminyaka emi-2 kwaye ndasebenza nzima kakhulu kwisikhundla somphathi endandisibambe nalapho. Nantso imali yam.
Akuzange kuthathe ixesha elide ukuqonda ukuba ngelixa ndizilungiselele ngokwengqondo ngokungabikho kwesondo, Khange ndicinge nto ku ukungabikho kobuhlobo Ndandiza kunyamezela.
Ukugcina umtshato ophilileyo kunye nokuma okuzinzileyo kwengqondo
Khange kube lula. Ndiyakuxelela, imitshato inzima, kodwa ndingatsho ukuba asikabi nawo umlo wethu wokuqala omkhulu. Ukuthembana kungundoqo kwimeko enje.
Inye kuphela into endiyiqapheleyo kwaye uRonnie ukhankanyile amaxesha ambalwa, ecaphukisiwe ngenxa yokuba enamathele esiseleni kunye nabo, kukuba abantu baphulukane noko kwakamsinya xa bevalelwe.
Abantu ekudala behleli ndawonye iminyaka banabantwana kunye, kwangoko banayo le micimbi abangazange babenayo ngaphambili phezu koxinzelelo esele lubonakala lokuba phaya okanye phaya uzenze wedwa.
Baqala ukutyhola umntu osebenzela ukubaleka, kwaye kufuneka bajike abantwana babo babachase ngoba kutheni bengafuni ukuthetha nabo.
Yimeko elusizi ngolu hlobo ukuba awunayo inkolo yokuba baya kwenza ngokulungileyo kuwe ngelixa nihlukene, ke qhubekani niyeke ukuchithelana ixesha.
Esinye isikhombisi esikhulu endiziva ndikulungele ukusinika kukuqinisekisa ukuba Hlala unxibelelana nabanye ngazo naziphi na iindlela ezinokubakho. Ngethamsanqa kuthi, babephume neapp esivumela ukuba sithumele imiyalezo, sincokole ngevidiyo, kwaye sifowunelane.
Nangona kunjalo, kuyabiza ngobuyatha, ke kwabo bangenalo olo hlobo lwenkxaso mali, ungasoloko ubabhalela yonke imihla ukuze ngamnye afumane INTO yomnye nomnye.
Kwakhona, ukuba ucinga ngokwakho awunalo ixesha lokubhala yonke imihla kunye ne-blah blah blah, emva koko ugcine. Wenza ixesha labantu ofuna ukubenzela ixesha.
Ukugcina ukubamba kunganiki kuphela uxolo lwengqondo kodwa kukwazisa ngamnye ukuba omnye ucinga ngabo. Kule meko, ndafunda ngokukhawuleza ukuba inokuba zizinto ezincinci ezikuthintelayo ukuba ungaphambuki kwaye usinde emtshatweni.
Isebe laseMelika lezempilo kunye neenkonzo zoluntu lipapashe kuphando lwabo ukuba ukuvalelwa kunokuba nefuthe elibonakalayo kubuhlobo kunye nokuzibophelela kubudlelwane.
Ukuhamba iiyure ezilinganiselweyo, akukho bucala, kwaye kuthintelwe okanye akukho kunxibelelana komzimba kwenza kube nzima ukwenza ubudlelwane obusondeleyo.
Kwabo baphumayo, njengoko umyeni wam ethanda ukubhekisa kuyo, elinye icebo endifuna ukukunika kukuba imifanekiso inokwenza umahluko omkhulu.
Ndithumele umyeni wam uninzi lweefoto ukusukela ngo-Okthobha, kwaye uzithanda ngokupheleleyo. Imifanekiso yepati ye-22th yomntakwabo, umtshana wethu kunye nomtshana wakhe, uninzi lwam (umbono wakhe, lol), kunye nemifanekiso yethu sikunye (umtshato, i-pic yethu yomsesane, izifungo, njl.
Sikwazile ukufunda iincwadi ezininzi kunye saza sathumela “imiyalezo eminqweno” njengoko wayezithiya ngapha nangapha. Njengoko benditshilo ngaphambili, zizinto ezincinci ezinokukugcina ungaphulukani nazo.
Ngokusinda emtshatweni kulo nyaka wokuqala, siyazi ngoku ukuba likamva lethu elizayo liza kuba njani kwaye omnye ulifanele. Akukhange nangayiphi na indlela, imilo, okanye ifom ibe yindlela elula, kodwa siza kuyenza kwaye kunokuba bhetele kuyo.
Jonga kwakhona: Ungamphatha njani utata womntwana wakho xa esentolongweni.
Amagama okugqibela
Ndifunde okuninzi ngam kulo nyaka uphelileyo endingazange ndihoye ngaphambili. Andizange ndedwa kwaye ndisoyika oko kwasekuqaleni, kwaye ngoku ndiye ndonwabela ukuba kunye kwam.
Andiziniki ngokwaneleyo ngetyala ngamanye amaxesha. Ndingumntu osindileyo, kwaye ndiyathemba ukuba nawe unjalo kuba ukuba uyaphumelela kweli tyala okanye ukhe wadlula kulo waphuma phambili, ke uyazi ukuba lidabi elingafaniyo nelakhe wakha wadibana nalo ngaphambili.