Umxholo
- Ngaba ukutshata nomntu ongatshatanga naye kuyingozi kubomi besini obulungileyo?
- Ubudlelwane bexesha elide kunye nobomi obutshisayo besini
- Kungenzeka ngakumbi ukuba konke kungomxholo
- Ngaba unexesha elaneleyo lobomi bezesondo?
- Amanqaku ama-4 e-13 avela kuluhlu lwezibini ezinobomi obukhulu besini zezi:
Hayi, ubomi bakho bobulili abuyi kufa ngenxa yokuba nikunye ixesha elide kodwa enye into inokuyibulala nje.
Ngaba ukutshata nomntu ongatshatanga naye kuyingozi kubomi besini obulungileyo?
Elinye lamabango endikhe ndadibana nawo kaninzi kule minyaka kukuba umntu ongatshatanga yedwa uyingozi kubomi besini obulungileyo.
Ibango kukuba umfazi omnye ubulala inkanuko. Ke ukuba ukuthandana nomntu ongatshatanga naye, ubomi bakho ngokwesondo buya buba mandundu njengoko ixesha lihamba kwaye umnqweno wakho omnye komnye uya kuncipha kwaye ekugqibeleni, inkanuko iya kuba yimbali.
Yile nto bayithethayo.
Ingxoxo ngokusisiseko yeyokuba asidalanga ngokwendalo ukuba "sibe 'neqabane elinye.
Xa iimvakalelo zokuqala zothando ziphelile kwaye nobabini niziva nikhuselekile, inye kuphela indlela yobomi besini entloko kwaye iphantsi.
Ingxoxo yeyokuba xa ubuhlobo buqina kwaye kukho ukhuseleko kunye nokukhuseleka phakathi kwenu nobabini, ihomoni ye-oxytocin iyakhululwa, kwaye xa oko kusenzeka ngokungathi luhlobo oluthile lomsitho olwenzeka kube kanye kwaye alunakuphazanyiswa, kuye kube nzima ukuba uzive ukhululekile kwaye unqwenele iqabane lakho.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ichanekile, kutheni le nto kukho izinto ezininzi ezisebenzayo, ezitshatileyo zexesha elide ezichaza ukuba zinobomi obonwabisayo nobunokwabelana ngesondo?
Amaqabane asavulwe omnye nomnye, asafumanana enomtsalane ngokwesondo nangona benabantwana abancinci, ukungavumelani, uxinzelelo, amahla-ndinyuka; uyazi, izinto wonke umntu adlula kuzo.
Ndiyifumene inomdla kakhulu.
Ubudlelwane bexesha elide kunye nobomi obutshisayo besini
Ukuba ingcinga ethi "ubuhlobo, ukusondelelana kunye nokukhuseleka bonakalisa ubomi bokwabelana ngesondo" ichanekile, emva koko kwenzeka njani ukuba ezi zibini zibe nobudlelwane obulungileyo nobukhuselekileyo kunye nobomi obuthandekayo nobubi?
Ayindim ndedwa onomdla woku.
Phakathi kwabanye, iNorthrup, iSchwartz, kunye neWitte baqhube isifundo nabangaphezulu kwama-70,000 abathathi-nxaxheba abavela kumazwe angama-24 ahlukeneyo. Olu phononongo lubekelwe ukufumanisa umahluko phakathi kwezibini ezazinobomi obulungileyo bezesondo kunye nabo babenobuqhophololo.
Iziphumo zazinomdla. Bafumene ukufana okuyi-13 phakathi kwezibini ezithi banobomi obumnandi bezesondo. Oku kwakungakhathalelwanga ubudala, ilizwe, inqanaba lentlalontle njl.
Ngaphezulu kwama-50% ala manqaku yimisebenzi, esiyaziyo ukuba ikhupha i-oxytocin. I-Oxytocin ikhuthaza ubuhlobo kunye nolwalamano. Enye yezinto ezenziwa zezi zibini yayikukujongana ngokwasemoyeni nangokwasemzimbeni. Yonke imihla. Ndikufumanisa kunika umdla kakhulu njengoko kungavumelani kwaphela nento othanda ukuyiva; ukuba xa ubudlelwane bexesha elide bujika bukhuseleke kakhulu, ubomi besondo buyafa.
Kungenzeka ngakumbi ukuba konke kungomxholo
Imalunga nendawo ozenzele yona ukuze ube nobomi besondo obusebenza kakuhle. U-Emily Nagoski uthetha ngale nto kwincwadi yakhe entsha: "Yiza njengokuba unje-inzululwazi entsha emangazayo eya kuguqula ubomi bakho ngokwesondo."
Ngaba unexesha elaneleyo lobomi bezesondo?
Ayithethi ngobomi bokwabelana ngesondo bodwa; ayisiyiyo le nto ibulala i-erotic element.
Hayi hayi, yindlela esihlala siphatha ngayo ubomi bethu ngokwesondo kubudlelwane bomntu omnye. Yiloo nto ebulala yona.
Amanqaku ama-4 e-13 avela kuluhlu lwezibini ezinobomi obukhulu besini zezi:
- Bayamanga ngothando ngaphandle kwesizathu
- Babeka phambili ubomi babo bobulili kwaye abukho phantsi kweluhlu lwezinto eziza kwenziwa
- Bathetha kamnandi malunga nobomi babo besondo okanye bafunda indlela yokwenza
- Bayazi ukuba yintoni evula iqabane labo ukuba licime / livalwe
Inomdla, akunjalo?
Nokuba sithe seqa ngaphambili uphando kunye nezifundo esele zenziwe kwaye satsiba kanye ukuya kwiklinikhi yam, into endiqhubeka nokuhlangabezana nayo kukuba izibini ezifuna ukubuyisa ubomi bazo ngokwesondo zibuyele emgceni zihlala zifuna into efanayo: ixesha elininzi kunye.
Kungenxa yokuba ixesha elininzi kunye lidla ngokwenza inkanuko enye kwenye kwaye ilingana isondo ngakumbi.
Ndilahlekile ukubala ukuba mangaphi amaxesha ndisiva isigwebo: "Ukuba nje besinexesha elininzi kunye, oko kungaphucula ubomi bethu besini kwaye sinqwenelene ngakumbi."
Kwaye xa ndibanceda ukubeka phambili eli xesha kunye, banyanisile; ubomi babo ngokwesondo buyaphucuka.
Bahlala besazi ngokwendalo ukuba ukuba balandela umnqweno wabo wokufumana ixesha elingaphezulu komgangatho kunye-ixesha lokudibanisa ngokwasemphefumlweni-oko kuya kuthi kudala isondo ngakumbi nangcono. Abazange bamamele nje kodwa endaweni yoko bakhetha ukwamkela intsomi yokuba ubudlelwane bexesha elide buhlala buphela ngokubulala ubomi besondo.
Ndiyifumana inomdla kakhulu kwaye intle ngokwenene. Kwaye mhlawumbi uyakufumana kukhuthaza. Oku kuthetha ukuba nguwe onamandla okwenza ubomi obumnandi besini-ngokuqinisekileyo indalo ayikonakalisi yona.
Ingcebiso kaMaj: Unokuba kubudlelwane obubodwa kunye nobomi obushushu besini.