Umxholo
Ukuba ukhe wahlukaniswa nosapho oludibeneyo okanye ukuba ngoku ungumzali womzali, uyayazi indlela enzima ngayo imiceli mngeni yosapho edibeneyo enokwenza ubomi bosapho.
Ngamanye amaxesha uziva ngathi ubuyela umva phakathi kwamakhaya, iishedyuli zexesha ezahlukileyo, kunye nabantu abadala abanoluvo balawula yonke into.
Kulula ukulibala ukuba unamandla okuphembelela obu bomi butsha ngokuqinisekileyo, kwaye kulula ukulibala ukuba abantwana kusapho oludibeneyo babukele kwaye into oyenzayo (okanye ongayenziyo) inokumisela impilo yobomi babo abadala.
Njengomzali wesibini kusapho oludibeneyo, uzibophelele ekuncedeni iqabane lakho likhulise abantwana kwaye libonelele ngozinzo, apho abantwana baphumelela.
“Ikhaya elizinzileyo, isikolo esizinzileyo esenza ukuba abantwana nabantu abancinci benze ubudlelwane obakhayo, obuthembakeleyo ukuze baphumelele, kwaye bazinze, ubudlelwane obuqinileyo kunye neengcali ezingaguquguqukiyo, zonke zinegalelo ekuncedeni abantwana nabantu abancinci ukuba bazive bekhuselekile kwaye bekulungele ukuphumelela, Utshilo uDebbie Barnes, uMlawuli oyiNtloko weeNkonzo zaBantwana kwiLincolnshire City Council.
Ngaphezu kwayo nantoni na, abantwana bafuna uthando nentlonelo. Ukuba ngumzali wesibini ngumsebenzi onzima, kodwa ngokuzimisela nangokuzingisa, unokuzikhusela kunye nabantwana kwintlungu enokubangelwa kukudibanisa iintsapho.
Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zeentsapho ezidibeneyo malunga nendlela yokujongana neentsapho ezidibeneyo njengomzali wesibini.
Musa ukwenza ngetyala
Elinye lamanyathelo okuqala ukuvala umsantsa phakathi kwala makhaya mabini ayisebenzi ngetyala.
Xa uzama ukuthetha nokwenza izinto ezilungileyo ukufumana indumiso evela kubantwana nakubazali babo, uyakuzibona sele uphoxekile kwaye ungashukunyiselwa ukuba uphinde uzame.
Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ungumzali webhonasi, kwaye ubalasele kubantwana bomtshato wakho xa ukhathalela ngokwenene.
Umzali okhulisa umntwana nomntu ongamthathanga kunokuba ngumsebenzi ongenambulelo, kodwa ungavumeli ukuba oko kukuyekise; unendima ebalulekileyo ekufuneka uyidlalile.
Xa injongo yakho kuphela yokwenza into oyenzayo yenzelwe umntwana (okanye abantwana) kunye nentlalo-ntle yabo yekamva, uya kuqhubeka nangona kubonakala ngathi iinzame zakho azibonwa.
Ubalulekile njengenkokeli; into yakho ekhuthazayo mayibe luthando. Umvuzo wakho uza kubona ukonwaba kwabantwana bakho kunye notshintsho lwabo.
Ungumlamli
Okwesibini, ungumlamli kubomi bomntwana xa izinto zisonakala phakathi kwabazali bemvelo.
Abantwana abafanelekanga ukuba beve izinto ezimbi ngotata xa besendlwini kamama kunye nezinto ezimbi malunga nomama ekhaya lotata.
Umntwana akufuneki abekhona kwigumbi elinye ngaphandle kokuba bakwiminyaka yobudala kwaye kufuneka abandakanyeke.
Umzekelo, ukuba kusapho oluxubeneyo, abazali bokwenyani baphikisana ngefowuni ngelixa umntwana ebukele umabonwakude, yisa umntwana kwelinye igumbi ukuze abukele iTV okanye adlale.
Iingxabano zinokuvutha, kwaye amagama angafanelekanga anokutshintshana.
Ngaphandle kokuqonda, umntwana uthatha iiyantlukwano, ecinga ukuba umama notata abathandani. Le yingxaki exhaphakileyo kwiintsapho ezihlanganisiweyo.
Ukuba kukho naziphi na izinto ezimbi malunga nomnye umzali, khokela umntwana ahambe.
Yijonge ngolu hlobo: ukuba ungumntwana onamakhaya amabini ahlukeneyo, yiya endlwini katata uyokuchitha ixesha naye, hayi ukuva izinto ezimbi ngomama wakho.
Buza ngamanye amalungu osapho
Ukuba bangena phakathi kwamakhaya, buza ukuba omnye umzali wabo kunye namanye amalungu osapho baqhuba njani xa bekunye nawe. Nceda ungenzi ngathi azikho.
Ufuna ukuba bathethe ngamanye amalungu osapho kunye nawe ngokukhululekileyo. Oku kubonelela ngendlela yokuphila engenamthungo kubo.
Oku kubalulekile xa behlala kumakhaya amabini, enemithetho emibini eyahlukeneyo kunye nabantu abahlukeneyo. Bonelela ngemvo yokuhlangana ngokuhlala ukhankanya omnye umzali wabo ngendlela elungileyo.
Nazi ezinye iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokudibanisa usapho:
- Yenza kube lula ukuba umntwana abize omnye umzali kwifowuni yakho okanye kwifowuni yendlu
- Faka imifanekiso ejikeleze indlu kamama okanye utata wabo
- Xelela umntwana ukuba umama okanye utata wakhe ukhethekile kuwe, naye
Mema abantu ngaphaya
Okokugqibela, mema ngamanye amaxesha amalungu avela kwelinye icala losapho emntwaneni wakho. Isenokuba ngabazala bokulala okanye umakhulu kunye notatomkhulu kwisidlo sangokuhlwa.
Umntwana unokuba namakhaya amabini, kodwa akunyanzelekanga ukuba babe namakhaya amabini ahlukeneyo.
Igama eliphambili kukudityaniswa. Ukumema amanye amalungu osapho ekhayeni lakho kususa imfihlelo yokuba ubomi bomntwana bunjani xa bemkile.
Nika abazala bakhe, ootatomkhulu noomakhulu bakhe ithuba lokuzibonela abanye abantu ebomini bomntwana.
Ndiyakuthanda ukumema umama womntwana wam wesibini ukuba angene ekhayeni lethu. Kungaba nzima noko kuthi, kodwa intombi yam yesibini ifumana ubungqina kubantu abathandayo abanxibelelana kakhulu. Kwaye oko kwenza ukuba konke kufaneleke.
Gcina ukhumbula ukuba umntwana akakhethanga ukuba le ibe yimeko yakhe; khange abuze abazali abahlukene. Kuxhomekeke kubantu abadala ukwenza izinto zibe mnandi kwaye zikhululeke kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukunqanda ukuba umntwana akhule enomsindo kubomi bosapho.
Ngaba unazo naziphi na izimvo ngendlela onokudibanisa ngcono amakhaya amabini? Ukuba ubuhlala kumakhaya angaphezu kwelinye, oko kukuchaphazele njani xa wawungumntwana? Ichaphazela njani ubuntu bakho?