Ungakuphilisa njani kwiTrauma yoBudlelwane

Umxholo

• Buyintoni ubudlelwane bokonzakala?
• 5 iimpawu zengozi yomtshato zezi zilandelayo:
• Ukuxhwaleka ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo
• Iimpawu ohlangabezana nengozi emva kobudlelwane obunetyhefu
• Ukuzithemba kwakho kuye kwehla ngokupheleleyo
• Ukukhetha elinye iqabane elingenampilo
• Iingcamango ezijongiweyo
• Usenokucela uxolo ngokugqithileyo
• Ngaba ukwenzakala kubuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane
• Ungaphola njani kunxunguphalo lobudlelwane
• Cinga kwaye wenze
• Umonde ngoyena ndoqo
• Phila ngoku
• Fumana uncedo
• Iikhonsepthi ezi-3 zabantu abasindileyo ngokwenzakala kubudlelwane obuphilileyo
• 1. Umothuko lo ubungeyompazamo yakho
• 2. Ubudlelwane abukhuselekanga
• 3. Ayilulo lonke ungquzulwano olungumqondiso wengxaki
• I-PTSD, ulwalamano olubi, kunye nefuthe kubudlelwane

Ulwalamano olubuhlungu luyinyani, kwaye lunokuba neziphumo ezihlala zihleli. Ngaphandle kwenyani yobudlelwane obenzakalisayo, kunokwenzeka ukuphilisa, ukuqhubela phambili, kunye nokufumana ubudlelwane obunempilo kwakhona.

Buyintoni ubudlelwane bokonzakala?

Iingcali zichaze umothuko wolwalamano njengoko usenzeka xa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo buye babandakanya ukuphathwa gadalala okukhulu ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwesondo, okanye ngokwasengqondweni. Umntu oye wahlupheka ngenxa yengozi enjalo uhlala eneemvakalelo ezinzulu kwaye ekhumbula amava omothuko.

Unxibelelwano lwasemva kwesigulo esibuhlungu emva koko lunokuba luxinzelelo olumangalisayo.

5 iimpawu zengozi yomtshato zezi zilandelayo:

• Ndiziva ndisoyika kakhulu okanye ndinomsindo kumlingane wobudlelwane
• Ukuziva ungakhuselekanga, okunokukhokelela ekubeni ungakhathali kwaye ulale
• Ukuzihlukanisa nabanye ekuhlaleni
• Ukuphumla kunye neengxaki zoxinaniso
• Ukoyika ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nokungathembani kolo lwalamano

Ukuxhwaleka ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo

Xa abantu becinga ngomothuko kubudlelwane, banokucinga ngobundlobongela obuphathekayo, kodwa bunokubandakanya ukwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo. Umzekelo, ukubamba iqabane lakho othandweni, ukuba nomlo omkhulu, okanye ukuhlaziswa liqabane lakho konke kunokudala iimpawu ezingokweemvakalelo nezengqondo.

Olu xinzelelo lunokuvela ekuxhatshazweni kwengqondo ngaphakathi kubudlelwane. Ukuxhwaleka ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo sisiphumo sezinye zezi ndlela zilandelayo kubudlelwane bokuhlukumeza:

• Elinye iqabane lihlazisa ngenjongo okanye lihlazisa elinye iqabane
• Elinye iqabane lenza amagqabantshintshi ngexhoba, nokuba kungasesidlangalaleni okanye ngasese
• Iqabane elixhaphazayo litshabalalisa ukuzithemba komnye umntu
• Elinye iqabane elizama ukukholisa elinye ukuba "ligeza"
• Elinye iqabane lixelela omnye into ayiyo okanye angavumelekanga ukuba ayenze
• Iqabane elinye elilawula imali yasekhaya
• Ukugxekwa rhoqo liqabane
• Izisongelo zokwenzakaliswa ngumxhaphazi
• Elinye iqabane ligxeka elinye ngenxa yezinto ezingahambi kakuhle okanye lenze elo qabane lizive linetyala lezinto ezingezizo ezakhe

Naziphi na kwezi ndlela zokuziphatha zingasentla zinokubangela ubudlelwane obuhlungu. Ekugqibeleni, ixhoba liphulukana nemvakalelo yalo yokuzithemba kunye nokuzimela lide liqale nokubuza ukuba ingaba linengqondo na. Ixhoba lisenokoyika ukwenza impazamo kwaye livakalelwe kukuba akunakwenzeka ukonwabisa umxhaphazi.

Iimpawu ohlangabezana nengozi emva kobudlelwane obunetyhefu

Ezimbalwa zeempawu eziphambili zidweliswe apha ngasentla, kodwa kuyanceda ukuziqonda ngokupheleleyo iimpawu zomothuko emva kobudlelwane obunetyhefu bunokubonakala ngathi.

Olunye lweempawu eziphambili zengozi emva kobudlelwane, ngokweengcali, kukuba uyoyika ubudlelwane obutsha. Unganqwenela ukuqala ubudlelwane obutsha, kodwa ixhala lakho liyakuthintela ukuba ungatsiba kolunye ulwalamano, kwanasemva kokuthatha ixesha lokuphilisa.

Imicimbi yokuthembana lolunye uphawu oluphambili lomothuko obuvela kubudlelwane obunetyhefu.

Ukuba ukuxhatshazwa kubudlelwane obudlulileyo kuye kwabangela ukwenzakala, awunakuzithemba ukuba ukhethe iqabane elitsha. Ngaphandle koko, unokuba mathidala ukuthemba umntu omtsha ngenxa yokoyika ukuba lo mntu angangcungcuthekisa. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni uphume kubudlelwane obutsha okanye kubuhlobo bakho.

Umzekelo, ukungavisisani okuncinci okanye iimpazamo kunokubangela ukuba ubuze ukunyaniseka komntu kuba kukukhumbuza ngeempazamo zexesha elidlulileyo ezenziwa liqabane lakho elihlukumezayo.

Eminye imiqondiso emine oye wehlelwa yintlungu yobudlelwane zezi zilandelayo:

• Ukuzithemba kwakho kuye kwehla ngokupheleleyo

Iqabane lobuhlobo elinetyhefu lisenokusebenzisa amaqhinga okuhlukumeza, njengokukuhlazisa, ukukuhlazisa, nokukutyhola ngokwenza yonke into engalunganga. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni uzive ungenaxabiso, ungafanelekanga, kwaye ungalufanelanga uthando. Ukubonakaliswa kweli nqanaba lokonzakala kunokushiya ungazithembi.

• Ukukhetha elinye iqabane elingenampilo

Ukuzithemba okubuthathaka, unokukholelwa ukuba awufanelanga ubudlelwane obusempilweni apho iqabane lakho lijonga iimfuno zakho kwaye likuphathe ngentlonipho. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni wamkele elinye iqabane elibangela ukwenzakala.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ungangxamela kubudlelwane obutsha kunye neqabane elikuhlukumezayo kuba ulilolo kwaye ufuna ukuzalisa isithuba okanye ukuphilisa amanxeba obudlelwane bakho bokugqibela. Oku kungakhokelela kumjikelo ophindaphindiweyo womothuko.

Kwividiyo engezantsi, uGqr Treisman uthetha ngokubaluleka kokwenza ubudlelwane obuhle kunye nendlela abantu abadala abafuna ngayo ukuphiliswa ngokwesondo:

• Iingcamango ezijongiweyo

Olunye uphawu oluphambili ziingcinga ezingafunekiyo. Oku kunokubandakanya ukuphindaphinda iimpikiswano ezindala kubudlelwane kunye nokuthathela ingqalelo into onokuthi uyithethile okanye uyenze ngokwahlukileyo, okanye ukuthathela ingqalelo iziphene iqabane lakho langaphambili likukhokelele ekubeni ukholelwe. Usenokuba nokubuza malunga nokuba abantu ebomini bakho banokuthenjwa na.

Nokuba ungangowuphi umthombo wezi ngcinga, kunokuba kukungenelela kwaye kubangele uxinzelelo olukhulu.

• Usenokucela uxolo ngokugqithileyo

Ukuba ukhe waphantsi koxinzelelo, usenakholelwa ukuba yonke into oyenzayo ayilunganga okanye ukuba nantoni na engahambi kakuhle yimpazamo yakho. Ukuba kunjalo, unokuzifumana uxolisa ngeempazamo okanye ucele uxolo xa lungeyomfuneko.

Ngaba ukwenzakala kubuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane

Ngelishwa, ulwalamano olunxungupheleyo lunokukhokelela kwiipateni ezibi okanye kwimijikelezo kubudlelwane.

Oku kungenxa yendlela indlela iingcingo ezixhonywe ngayo. Njengoko iingcali zengqondo zichazile, ngoxinzelelo oluphindaphindiweyo, siya sisiba novakalelo kwiziphumo zengozi. Kungenxa yokuba ukuba asikaze siphilise ukwenzakala, iintambo kwingqondo ziyatshintsha, zisibangele ukuba siqalise "ngempendulo yokusinda" ukuba siziva sisongelwa.

Impendulo yokusinda ibangela impendulo evela kwingqondo ebizwa ngokuba yi-amygdala, isibangela ukuba silwe okanye sibe neemvakalelo. Impendulo yokusinda kwengqondo yomelele kangangokuba sinokujonga ukungqubana kobudlelwane njengesoyikiso ekusindeni kwethu.

Xa singaqhubeki kwaye sinyange ukwenzakala kubudlelwane, utshintsho oluninzi lwenzeka ngaphakathi kuthi oluchaphazela ubudlelwane:

• Siba nemvakalelo yokuba nayiphi na imbambano okanye imeko esikhumbuza ngomothuko inokuthi iphume, njengokukhwaza okanye ukulwa.
• Abanye abantu abanokulwa kodwa endaweni yoko bavale kwaye barhoxe xa impendulo yobuchopho isasebenza.
• Ekugqibeleni ikhokelela kwindlela yokuziphatha engalunganga.
• Ukungqubana okuqhubekayo kubudlelwane

Masithi, ukuba uziva usoyikiswa okanye ukwaliwa kubudlelwane obunye ukuba uqale urhoxe okanye ulwe umqondiso wokuqala wenkathazo, kubudlelwane bakho obulandelayo, unokujonga iimpazamo ezinyanisekileyo okanye ungquzulwano oluncinci njengezisongelo, kwaye emva koko, luphume kwiqabane lakho elitsha. Oku kudala ipatheni engathandekiyo.

Impendulo yomothuko inokudala ipatheni egwenxa kulwalamano lokuhlukumeza, ngaloo ndlela iqhubela phambili umjikelo wentlungu yobudlelwane.

Umzekelo, ukuba uqhele ukuziva usoyikiswa kukukhatywa liqabane lakho okanye ngamahlazo, ingqondo yakho inokuba novakalelo olukhulu kukonzakala.

Oku kuthetha ukuba nokuba iqabane lakho aliziphathi ngendlela eyoyikisayo, unokubona ukwaliwa okanye ukungqubana kwaye uqale ukwenza into kwiqabane lakho.Oku kudala ukungqubana okuqhubekayo kwaye iba yipateni engalunganga kulwalamano.

Ixesha elingaphezulu, kunokubangela ukuba ujonge lonke ulwalamano ngokungalunganga. Emva koko unokuziva ngathi akukho mntu unokumthemba, ke uyarhoxa okanye ukhawuleze uzikhusele. Oku kunokulimaza nabuphi na ubudlelwane kwaye kukhokelele kwipatheni yokungenampilo, ubudlelwane obungonwabisiyo.

Ungaphola njani kunxunguphalo lobudlelwane

Ngelixa ubudlelwane boxinzelelo bunokudala iimpawu ezixinzelelekileyo kunye neepateni ezimbi, kunokwenzeka ukubuyisela ingqondo kwingqondo kwaye uphilise kukonzakala. Ngokutsho kweengcali zomothuko, ingqondo yabantu abadala inokuzilungisa emva komonzakalo. Oku kufuna ukuba uqhelisele imikhwa emitsha okanye ucinge ngezinto ngokwahlukileyo.

Ukulungiswa koxinzelelo kubudlelwane, ke ngoko, kufuna umgudu kwelakho icala. Oku kunokuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka ume kancinci ngaphambi kokuba uphendule ngexesha lengxabano okanye ungquzulwano.

• Cinga kwaye wenze

Endaweni yokuphendula kwangoko, kuya kufuneka uziqeqeshe ukuze uthathe ixesha lokuhlalutya ukuba usengozini na okanye le yinto nje eqhelekileyo. Ixesha elingaphezulu, le nkqubo kufuneka izenzekele ngakumbi njengoko ingqondo iphilisa.

• Umonde ngoyena ndoqo

Ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuhlala kubudlelwane ngaphandle kokufumana iziphumo ezibi zengozi, kuya kufuneka ukulungele ukuba nomonde kwiqabane lakho.

Ekuqaleni, ungaziva ungonwabanga ngenkqubo yokuphilisa, kodwa njengoko ubona iqabane lakho lisenza utshintsho, uya kuqala ukuziva ungcono ngokuhamba kwexesha.

• Phila ngoku

Ukuba ubandakanyeka kulungiso, kubalulekile ukuba ujonge okwangoku kwaye uqhubele phambili, kunokuba ukhanyise ngentlungu eyadlulayo. Njengoko usakha iipateni ezintsha ezintle kunye neqabane lakho, ukonwaba kuya kuba yinto eqhelekileyo.

Ukuba usalungiswa kwixesha elidlulileyo, unokubuyela ngokulula kwiimjikelezo ezingalunganga, yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuba ujolise kwiinguqu ezilungileyo ezenzekayo ngoku.

• Fumana uncedo

Ekugqibeleni, ukuba ufumanisa ukuba awungekhe uzinyange ngokwakho, ungadinga ingcebiso.

Cinga ukuba uzifumanisa ubambekile kumjikelo wokujonga ubudlelwane ngokungalunganga kwaye uphendula ngokuphila kwakho kwanaxa ujongene nengxabano encinci. Kwimeko enjalo, isenokuba lixesha lokuthatha inxaxheba kwiingcebiso ezizimeleyo zokukunceda uphile kuyo.

Ukuba uyasokola nomothuko ngaphakathi kobudlelwane, ukululekwa kwezibini kunokukunceda wena neqabane lakho niphucule iindlela zokunxibelelana.

Iikhonsepthi ezi-3 zabantu abasindileyo ngokwenzakala kubudlelwane obuphilileyo

Kuyo yonke inkqubo yokulungisa umothuko, kuluncedo kumaxhoba ukugcina ezinye zeekhonsepthi ezingqondweni. Nazi ezintathu eziphezulu:

1. Umothuko lo ubungeyompazamo yakho

Abasindileyo kubudlelwane obenzakalisayo bahlala benziwa ukuba bakholelwe ukuba bayaphambana okanye abalufanelanga uthando. Oku kunokubenza bazive ngathi ngandlela thile bekufanelekile ukuba baphathwe gadalala kwaye ukwenzakala sisiphoso sabo.

Oku akunjalo. Akukho mntu unelungelo lokukuphatha gadalala, kwaye umxhaphazi uya kuphendula ngezenzo zakhe.

2. Ubudlelwane abukhuselekanga

Xa uphantsi kobudlelwane obenzakalisayo, ngakumbi okokoko, ungaqala ukukholelwa ukuba lonke ubudlelwane bunezinto ezimbi, ezihlukumezayo, okanye ezigcwele ungquzulwano. Akunjalo. Kuyenzeka ukuba ube nolwalamano olusempilweni olungenakho ukungakhathali.

3. Ayilulo lonke ungquzulwano olungumqondiso wengxaki

Njengokuba ungaqala ukujonga lonke ubudlelwane njengolungathandekiyo, ukuphinda ukwenzakala kunokubangela ukuba ukholelwe ukuba lonke ungquzulwano lusisongelo okanye luphawu lwenkathazo. Oku akuyonyaniso.

Olunye ungquzulwano lulindelekile kubudlelwane obuphilileyo, kwaye oko akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka ulwe umva, urhoxe, okanye uzive ungakhuselekanga. Kunzima ukungaziva usongelwa xa ungquzulwano belunetyhefu kwixa elidlulileyo, kodwa ungafunda iindlela ezintsha zokucinga ngongquzulwano, ukuze ukwazi ukuphendula ngendlela enengqondo.

Ukugcina la magama angentla engqondweni njengoko usiya phambili usuka kwitrama kunokukunceda ukuba uphuhlise iindlela ezintsha zokucinga malunga nobudlelwane. Kwelinye icala, uya kuzijonga kunye nobudlelwane ngendlela ethe kratya, ekhokelela ekubeni ufumane ubudlelwane obunempilo kwikamva.

I-PTSD, ulwalamano olubi, kunye nefuthe kubudlelwane

Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele umohluko phakathi koxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo lwasemva kwesifo (PTSD) kunye nentlungu yomtshato. I-PTSD yimeko yempilo yengqondo echongiweyo apho umntu anokuzibamba ukuze athintele ukwenzeka kwesiganeko esibuhlungu.

Ulwalamano lwasemva kwesigulo esibuhlungu (i-PTRS), kwelinye icala, ngokubanzi kubandakanya abantu abaphinda babe nolwalamano olubi kakhulu nolwenza ukuba lubonakale ngokwahlukileyo kwi-PTSD.

Umntu one-PTSD uhlala ethintela umothuko, ngelixa umntu onengxaki yokwenzakala uya kuba notyekelo lokuhlaziya umothuko ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba ube yingozi.

Ngamanye amaxesha abantu banokujonga i-PTSD kunye ne-PTRS ngokufanayo, kodwa azifani kwaphela.

I-PTRS inokuba neempawu ezithile ze-PTSD, kodwa yimeko eyahlukileyo, ngakumbi kuba ayisiyiyo imeko yempilo yengqondo eyamkelweyo kwaye ayithandi ukuhlangabezana nazo zonke iindlela zokuqonda isifo se-PTSD. Abanye abantu banokucinga nge-PTRS njenge-PTSD kubudlelwane.

I-PTSD kunye nokwenzakala kubudlelwane kunokubangela iziphumo ezinobungozi kulwalamano.

Umzekelo, umntu ophethwe yi-PTSD unokuba namaphupha amabi okanye ukubuyela emva kwesiganeko esibuhlungu, afumane iimvakalelo ezingalunganga ezinje ngomsindo okanye uloyiko, kwaye aqale ukurhoxa kwimisebenzi yesiqhelo okanye azikhwebule kwabanye. Ezi ziphumo zingalusizi ulwalamano.

Umntu one-PTSD unokurhoxa kwiqabane lakhe okanye enze into ngomsindo ngenxa nje yemeko engaginyisi mathe eqhubekayo.

Ukuxhalaba okunjalo kukhokelela kwiingxaki zobudlelwane, kodwa olu hlobo lwengozi ludla ngokubangela ifuthe elithe ngqo kubudlelwane, njengezi ziphumo zilandelayo:

• Ukuziva unomsindo kwiqabane lakho
• Ukubambeka kumjikelo ombi wokunxibelelana kubudlelwane
• Ukungabi nethemba kubudlelwane
• Ukurhoxa ngexesha lengxabano
• Ukuziva usoyikiswa ziimpazamo ezincinci okanye ukungavumelani neqabane lakho
• Ukuvuthela iqabane lakho kwizinto ezibonakala zincinci

Ukuba uhlala neziphumo zentlungu yomtshato, zithuthuzele ngokwazi ukuba unokuphilisa. Ubudlelwane obusempilweni emva komothuko bunokwenzeka ukuba uzibophelele ekufundeni iindlela ezintsha zokucinga kunye nokusondela kubudlelwane bakho.

Ukuba unobunzima bokuphilisa ngokwakho, ingcali yezonyango okanye ugqirha wezengqondo onobuchule ekunyangeni unokukunceda uqhubele phambili.