Iindlela ezili-15 zendlela yokuKhula kubuLwalamano

Umbhali: John Stephens
Umhla Wokudalwa: 27 Eyomqungu 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Iindlela ezili-15 zendlela yokuKhula kubuLwalamano - I-Psychology
Iindlela ezili-15 zendlela yokuKhula kubuLwalamano - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Njengokufuna ukukhula kwezinye izinto zobomi, kukwabalulekile kubudlelwane.

Ngaphandle kothando nokuthandana, ukukhula yinto ephambili kubudlelwane. Ngokukhula, izibini ziyakwazi ukujongana nemiceli mngeni kunye nemiqobo emi endleleni yokufezekisa iinjongo zabo zobudlelwane.

Eli nqaku liza kuqwalasela ukubaluleka kokuvuthwa kwaye likunike iingcebiso malunga nokuba ungakhula njani kubudlelwane.

Kukuthini ukuqola kulwalamano?

Ukukhula kulwalamano libinzana elibanzi elinenkcazo ezininzi. Inokuchazwa njengokwazi komntu ukuphendula iqabane lakhe kunye nokuzibophelela ekubathandeni ngokungathandabuzekiyo ngaphandle kwemiqobo.

Sisakhono sokukhula ngokweemvakalelo, ukwazi ukuthembela kwiqabane lakho, ukunxibelelana ngovelwano, nokujongana neemfuno zeqabane lakho ngaphandle kokuzincama.


Ukuqola kubudlelwane kungachazwa njengokunika iqabane lakho isibonelelo sokuthandabuza kunye nokuba nomonde omnye komnye ukunceda uthando lwenu lukhule.

Ngokubanzi, ukubonisa ukukhula kunokunceda ukukhuthaza ubudlelwane obonwabileyo nobusempilweni.

Kutheni le nto ukuqola kulwalamano kubalulekile?

Ukukhula kudlala indima ephambili ekuthatheni ubudlelwane ukuya kwinqanaba elilandelayo. Xa uyiqonda indima yokukhula, uya kufumana isidingo sokuyisebenzisa kulwalamano lwakho.

Nazi ezinye zezibonelelo zokuqola kubudlelwane.

1.Ukuqola kutsala imida

Amaqabane aqolileyo kubudlelwane ayayazi indlela yokugcina imida. Inceda ukuba uhlakulele ukuthembela kwiqabane lakho, likuvumela ukuba uhloniphe indawo kunye nemida yabo.

2.Inceda ekusombululeni iyantlukwano

Xa iingxabano nokungaboni ngasonye kuvela kubudlelwane, ukukhula kunokunika isisombululo esinoxolo. Amaqabane aqolileyo aya kulwamkela uxanduva lwabo kwingxoxo kwaye bayavumelana ngesisombululo.


3.Ukukhuthaza ubuntununtunu

Ukuba novakalelo kwiimfuno zeqabane lakho luphawu lokuqola. Ukuqola kunokukunceda ukuba ukhule ngokweemvakalelo kwaye ungazicingeli. Ngokubuyisela, inokukunceda ukuba ubambe ibhalansi xa uhlangabezana neemfuno zakho kunye neqabane lakho.

Iithiyori zothando kunye nokukhula

Ngokubanzi, kukho iingcamango ezintathu ngothando nokukhula. Apha ngezantsi kukho iingcamango ezimbini ezichaza ikhonkco phakathi kothando nokukhula.

  • Ulwalamano lwe-M-Isakhelo

Ngokwala mbono, ukukhula ebudlelwaneni kunokulinganiswa ngokuxhomekeka kwabantu ababini omnye komnye. Icebisa ukuba ukukhula xa abantu ababini benxibelelana ngokumangalisayo kodwa besazithanda kakhulu.

Oku kuthetha ukuba bazimele ngokupheleleyo kwaye abaxhomekeki omnye komnye okanye abanye abantu ukuba bonwabe.

  • Ingcamango kaSternberg yothando

Ithiyori kaSternberg iphakamisa ukuba uthando, ukuzibophelela, kunye nokusondelelana zizinto ezintathu zothando. Kule meko, ukusondelelana kuthetha abantu ababini abanokuqonda kunye nokuzabalazela ukufikelela kufutshane ngokweemvakalelo.


Ngokuka-Sternberg, ubudlelwane bunokubandakanya inye, zimbini, okanye zontathu izinto. Ubudlelwane obunezi zinto zontathu bonwabile kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba buhlale ixesha elide.

Iindlela ezili-15 zokuba ukhule ngakumbi kubudlelwane

Izibonelelo zokuqola kulwalamano azinakuphikwa. Kodwa kwenzeka njani ukuba ukhule ngakumbi kubudlelwane?

Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokukunceda:

1.Yiba ngonxibelelwano oluhle

Esinye sezitshixo kubudlelwane obusempilweni lunxibelelwano. Khangela amathuba okuthetha neqabane lakho imini yonke. Ulwalamano oluqolileyo lunendlela efanayo yokunxibelelana apho omabini amaqela anika izimvo zawo kwaye emamele ngokukuko.

Kananjalo, ukunika uluvo lwakho kunye nokutsho into oyithethayo ngobuchule kubonisa amanqanaba aphezulu okukhula kwinqanaba lakho. Ayizukuyenza into elungileyo kubudlelwane bakho ukuba ubetha ujikeleze ityholo okanye ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho liyayazi into oyifunayo.

2.Yiba ngumntu okhulileyo ngokweemvakalelo

Ukukhula kubudlelwane kuza nokuthatha uxanduva kwiimvakalelo zakho nakwindlela oziphethe ngayo. Xa ukhula ngokomoya, uya kuba nezigqibo zakho kwaye uncede wenze izigqibo ezizizo.

Oku kuyakuvumela ukuba wamkele ukuzixhobisa ngokwakho kwaye uphume kwindawo yokuba lixhoba. Nje ukuba ufikelele kwinkululeko yeemvakalelo, uya kulamkela ngokulula iqabane lakho ukuba lingoobani.

3.Yenza indawo yokungafezeki

Akukho mntu ugqibelele, kwaye oku akukho ngaphandle kweqabane lakho. Sonke sinazo iimpazamo kunye nokungafezeki, kwaye ukulindela ukuba iqabane lakho lifezeke kunokuba yingozi kubudlelwane bakho.

Ukukhula ebudlelwaneni kuthetha ukwamkela iziphene neentsilelo zeqabane lakho endaweni yokubagweba. Oku kuyokunceda ukuba udlule kumsindo wabo kwaye ujonge kwezona ndawo zibalaseleyo.

Ukuvutha ngumsindo malunga neendawo ezingwevu zeqabane lakho kuya kwenza ubudlelwane bakho bube mandundu. Nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka uyiqonde indima yakho ekubancedeni ukuba bakhule kwaye batshintshe babe ngcono.

4.Ukuthembana nentlonipho

Ulwalamano oluqolileyo lusekwe ekuthembekeni nasekuhloniphaneni. Ukwazi ukuthembela nokuhlonipha iqabane lakho luphawu olucacileyo lokukhula kubo nabuphi na ubudlelwane.

Ukukhula kufuna ukuba uthembe ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna okona kulungileyo kwaye liyakulwela ubudlelwane.

Intlonipho sesinye isithako esibalulekileyo kulwalamano olusempilweni nolukhulayo. Funda ukuhlonipha iqabane lakho njengomntu kwaye uyihloniphe into abayizisayo kulwalamano.

Xa ungayamkeli indlela abaziphethe ngayo, thetha uluvo lwakho ngentlonelo ngaphandle kokukhathaza ukuzingca kwabo.

Ukufunda okuhambelana: Ukwakha unxibelelwano, intlonipho kunye nokuthembela kubudlelwane bakho

5.Ziqhelise ukumamela ngokunzulu

Nokuba unexesha elingakanani ukuthandana, kubalulekile ukuba uzilolonge nzulu

ukumamela xa iqabane lakho lithetha. Ukungakhuli kuya kuhlala kukuqhubela ekubeni uphazamise kwaye ulungiselele into oza kuyithetha ngokulandelayo nangaphambi kokuba bathethe.

Kwelinye icala, ukukhula kukhulisa ukumamela okunzulu, esikwaziyo ukumamela ngaphandle kokujonga ithuba lokuphazamisa okanye ukunika uluvo lwakho. Ikuvumela uboleke indlebe kulo lonke ibali ngaphambi kokucela ukuvakalisa uluvo lwakho.

Ukuqonda amandla okuphulaphula, bukela le vidiyo:

6.Zivume iimpazamo uze ucele uxolo

Linqanaba eliphezulu lokukhula ukuze uvume iimpazamo zakho kwaye uxolise ngazo. Ngokwesiqhelo, kunokuba nzima ukucela uxolo kwaye kubelula ukutyhola nokwenza izizathu. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba wonke umntu uyazenza iimpazamo.

Nangona kunjalo, kuthatha inkalipho enkulu ukucela uxolo ngeempazamo zakho kwaye ufunde kuzo. Yazisa iqabane lakho ukuba into oyenzileyo okanye oyithethileyo ibingeyondlela ilungileyo yokusingatha le meko.

Oku kuthintela iimpikiswano kunye nenqala, ezingaphilanga kulo naluphi na ulwalamano.

7.Cinga ngaphambi kokuba uthethe

Ukunyaniseka yinto ebalulekileyo ekukhuliseni ubudlelwane obunempilo. Nangona kunjalo, umntu oqolileyo uya kuqala acinge ngaphambi kokuba athethe, ngakumbi ukuba oko kuya kumenzakalisa omnye umntu.

Ukukhula kufuna ukuba ukhethe amagama akho ngononophelo, nokuba uziva uphazamisekile.

8.Zimisele ukusebenzisana

Uthando oluqolileyo luxhasa ukusebenzisana, apho omabini amaqela azimisele ukusebenzisana ukufumana indawo efanayo. Sebenza kwiiprojekthi enizonwabelayo nobabini, kwaye ungathandabuzi ukuxhasa iqabane lakho kwimisebenzi yabo eyahlukeneyo.

9.Yiba novelwano novelwano

Xa ubudlelwane busekwe kwimfesane novelwano, kubonisa ukuba omnye okanye omabini amaqabane akhule ngokwasemphefumlweni kwaye akazicingeli. Iqabane elidala libonisa uvelwano kunye nokuqonda kwindlela abaqhubana ngayo neqabane labo.

Bazimisele ukulalanisa kwaye bamkele iimvakalelo zomnye umntu kunye neengcinga zakhe. Oku kunokunyusa unxibelelwano phakathi kwezibini kunye nokwandisa inqanaba lokuthembana.

Kwelinye icala, ubudlelwane obukhulileyo bubonakaliswa kukungakhathalelwa kunye nokuziphatha okuzifunayo.

10.Ziqhelise ukungazithembi

Izigqibo zakho kubudlelwane kufuneka zingazingci kwaye zijolise ekuzuzeni wena neqabane lakho. Akukakhuli ukuba ujongana kuphela neemfuno zakho kunye nokungahoyi iqabane lakho.

Indoda eqolileyo kubudlelwane iya kuziqonda iimfuno zeqabane labo. Ngokufanayo, umfazi oqolileyo kubudlelwane uya kukulungela ukulalanisa ngenxa yolonwabo lwabo.

Nangona kunjalo, kuya kukunceda ukuba awukuqondanga phosakeleyo ukungazicingeli ngokuzincama.

11. Sukucinga ngokugqithisileyo okanye ucinge

Ukucinga ngokugqithisileyo kunokubulala uvuyo kubudlelwane. Kwiimeko ezininzi, kulula ukutsiba kwizigqibo ngaphandle kokufuna ingcaciso.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ufuna ukwenza ukukhula ngakumbi kubudlelwane, kuya kufuneka uzimisele ukuyicwangcisa ingqondo yakho kwiipateni zokucinga ezilungileyo.

Funda ukunika iqabane lakho amathandabuzo kwaye uhlala ufuna okona kulungileyo kubo.

Umzekelo, ukuba iqabane lakho likukhahlela kuba belinosuku olubi emsebenzini, ingqondo yakho inokukukhokelela ekubeni ucinge ukuba bakhathele nguwe okanye babona omnye umntu.

Ngenxa yoko, oku kuya kukwenza ube nomsindo okanye ukhathazeke ngokunjalo.

12. Sukuzama ukutshintsha iqabane lakho

Ngelixa unokukhuthaza abantu ukuba batshintshe, ayingomsebenzi wakho ukuzama ukubatshintsha.

Ukukhula kuyaqonda ukuba ukukhula ngokwakho kunye notshintsho lunokwenzeka kuphela ngaphakathi kwaye unokutshintsha kuphela. Ukuba isimilo seqabane lakho sichaphazela uvuyo lwakho kubudlelwane, isenokuba lixesha lokuba uhambe.

13.Zama ukubona izinto ngokwembono yeqabane lakho

Ukuzama ukuqonda uluvo lweqabane lakho ngaphambi kokwenza isigqibo sokugqibela yenye indlela yokubonisa ukukhula kulwalamano. Kwiimeko ezininzi, elinye okanye omabini amaqabane azikhathalele izimvo zomnye nomnye.

Oku kuhlala kukhokelela kukungavisisani kubudlelwane.

14. Uthando kunye nokuzibophelela kwiqabane lakho ngaphandle kwemiqathango

Ukukhetha ukuthanda nokuzibophelela kwiqabane lakho sisigqibo semihla ngemihla osenzayo.

Ukukhula kuya kukunceda ukuba ulithande iqabane lakho ngaphandle kwemeko ngaphandle kweziphene kunye nokusilela kwabo. Uya kuzinikela kubo kuzo zonke iimeko, nokuba zintle okanye zimbi.

15.Ziqhelise ukuba nomonde

Enye indlela yendlela yokuqola kubudlelwane kukuba nomonde nokunyamezelana. Kulula ukuphosa umsindo kwaye ube nomsindo ngexesha lomlo.

Nangona kunjalo, ukukhula kuya kukufundisa ukuba ube nomonde de ube uzolile kwaye uzinzise ukungavisisani kwakho ngoxolo.

Izinto eziqolileyo onokuthetha ngazo kubudlelwane

Ngokuqinisekileyo unxibelelwano oluhle lunokukhokelela kulwalamano olusempilweni. Nangona kunjalo, ayizizo zonke izihloko okanye ingxoxo eya kukunceda ukhule kubudlelwane.

Ukuba ufuna ulwalamano lwakho ukuya kwinqanaba elilandelayo, omabini amaqabane kufuneka baxoxe ngezinto abadala.

Uluhlu olungezantsi zizinto ezivuthiweyo onokuthetha ngazo malunga nolwalamano olusempilweni.

1.Iinjongo zobomi, izicwangciso namaphupha

Xa uzibophelele emntwini, uya kuba uzimisele ngokwakha ikamva kunye naye

Uyakufumanisa kulula ukwenza iinjongo zobomi ezihlala iqabane lakho kuba ufuna ukuba babe yinxalenye yekamva lakho.

Ubudlelwane obuphilileyo nobukhulileyo kufuneka bujolise kwiinjongo ekwabelwana ngazo ngekamva. Nceda uthethe ngamaphupha kunye neenjongo zakho, kubandakanya iinjongo zemali, kwaye uxoxe ngeendlela zokufezekisa.

Umzekelo, ukuba elinye iqabane liceba ukuhamba, ukugcina imali, okanye ukutshintsha amakhondo emisebenzi, kuya kufuneka bathethe ngalo nelinye iqabane.

Oku kuqinisekisa ukuba wonke umntu uhlala kwizicwangciso zobomi zomnye kwaye akukho mntu ubanjwa engalindelanga.

Ngaphandle koko, ulwalamano lwenu lunokuphumelela, kwaye umanyano lwenu luya kukhula xa nixhasana kwiinjongo zekamva.

Zama kwakhona: Ulunge kangakanani wena neqabane lakho ekubekeni iiKhwizi zeenjongo ekwabelwana ngazo

2.Imisebenzi yemihla ngemihla

Ukuchitha ixesha nithetha ngemisebenzi yenu yemihla ngemihla kunokukunceda nikhule njengesibini.

Nokuba zizinto ozenzileyo emsebenzini, esikolweni, okanye nosapho lwakho, ungasoloko uxoxa ngezi zinto neqabane lakho ukuze ubazise ngokukhawuleza kwinto oyenzileyo xa benihlukene.

Le yindlela elungileyo yokuba izibini zabelane ngeengxaki zazo zemihla ngemihla kwaye zixhasane. Ngenxa yoko, oku kungalukhulisa ulwalamano lwenu kunye nothando omnye komnye.

3.Iinkumbulo zobomi

Ukwabelana ngamabali amnandi ebuntwaneni kunye neenkumbulo kunokuhlala kuzisa ukuhleka kulwalamano kunye nokwenza ubudlelwane obungapheliyo.

Yazisa iqabane lakho malunga namaxesha akho aneentloni, iimpazamo ezibubudenge, amaxesha amnandi kunye nempumelelo yakho.

Musa ukoyika ukuthetha ngexesha lakho elibi nelibi, kuba oku kunokwenza ubudlelwane bakho bomelele. Kwelinye icala, iinkumbulo ezihlekisayo ziya kukugcwalisa ngohleko olungathintelekiyo.

4.Izinto endizithandayo

Olunye uphawu lokuqola kukungazityesheli izinto okonwabela ukuzenza wakube ungene kubudlelwane. Izibini eziqolileyo ziyazi malunga nokuzonwabisa komnye nomnye, kwaye oku kunokukhokelela kubudlelwane obusempilweni ngakumbi.

Ukuthetha ngezinto ozithandayo kunokuba mnandi kwaye kunike umdla kwaye indlela elula yokuliqonda ngcono iqabane lakho.

Inokukunceda ukuba uchonge izinto zemihla ngemihla phakathi kwakho, ezinje ngokuba wabelana ngezinto ozithandayo. Oku kunokunceda ukudala ubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli kunye nolwalamano oluzinzileyo.

5.Ixesha lakho elidlulileyo

Ixesha elidlulileyo linokuthwala amaxesha amnandi kunye namaxesha abuhlungu. Ngelixa awunyanzelekanga ukuba ukhuphe onke amathambo kwigunjana lakho, kunokuba nokwakha ukwazisa iqabane lakho ngamava akho angaphambili.

Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi ukuba useneemvakalelo ezibuhlungu kumava adlulileyo. Ukungakufumani ukuvalwa kungonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho ngokuthe ngqo okanye ngokungathanga ngqo.

Ukuvulela iqabane lakho malunga nokwenzakala kwakho kunokuzisa unyango kwaye kukuncede ujonge kwizinto ezintle ubudlelwane obuzinikezelayo.

6.Ixabiso lakho

Emva kokuba ukhulele kwimvelaphi eyahlukeneyo, amaxabiso akho angahluka kulawo weqabane lakho. Xoxa ngezinto eziza kuqala ebomini bakho kunye nendlela oziva ngayo ngezinto ezahlukeneyo ezinje ngemfundo, usapho, imali, njl.

Abantu abatshatileyo kufuneka babelane ngezinto abazixabise kakhulu ebomini. Mhlawumbi ukholelwa ngokuqinileyo ekutshateni ngaphambi kokuhlala kunye. Kule meko, yabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho kwangethuba kulwalamano ukunqanda ukuphazamiseka kamva.

Xa usazi ukuba ngamnye wenu umi phi, ukufumana into esivumelana ngayo kuya kuba lula.

Isiphelo

Udinga inani elibalulekileyo lokukhula ukuba ufuna ukonwaba kubudlelwane.

Ukukhula kuya kwenza ukuba ube nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo sokwenza izigqibo eziya kukuxhobisa wena kunye neqabane lakho ngokunjalo. Uya kulithanda iqabane lakho ngaphandle kwemiqathango kwaye wenze ngaphezulu kunokuba bekulindelwe ngaphandle kwezikhalazo.