Umxholo
- Iimpawu zoxinzelelo emva kokuthandana komyeni
- I-PTSD kunye noxinzelelo emva kokuthandana komyeni wakho
- Zinike uxolo malunga nokuba ubudlelwane bakho buya phi
- Hlanganisa inkqubo yenkxaso eqinileyo
- Zinike ixesha lokuqhubekeka
- Yenza isiqhelo kwaye unamathele kuso
- Yiba nomonde
- Lala utye, uhambe
- Gxila kwizinto ezintle
Ukuqhubeka nokuthandana ngamava abukhali ngokweemvakalelo anokukushiya uziva wophukile kwaye utshintshiwe.Eli thuba libuhlungu linokubangela ukuba ube nexhala ongazange uziva ngalo ngaphambili. Nokuba awuzange wachaphazeleka luxinzelelo okanye uxinzelelo kwixa elidlulileyo, unokuziva udlamkile ngalo ngoku.
Oku kunokongeza uxinzelelo olungeyomfuneko, usizi, kunye noloyiko kwimeko esele yoyikeka. Ke, zintoni iimpawu zoxinzelelo lweemvakalelo kwaye unokuhlangabezana njani nazo?
Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba ukubanaxhala emva kokuthandana kwendoda kuqheleke kakhulu. Ukungathembeki emtshatweni akususi kuphela ukuthembana kwakho, kodwa kukwakhokelela kukungazithembi ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni kunye neengcinga malunga nokuba uninzi lolwalamano lwakho lwaluyinyani ngalo lonke elixesha.
Nazi iimpawu zoxinzelelo kunye nento onokuyenza ukuze uqhubeke noxinzelelo emva kokuthandana komyeni wakho.
Iimpawu zoxinzelelo emva kokuthandana komyeni
Wonke umntu unamaxhala ngamanye amaxesha ebomini. Kodwa iingxaki zoxinzelelo zahluke kakhulu kunxinzelelo oluqhelekileyo olubangelwa ngumsebenzi, imali kunye nobudlelwane. Ukuba ixhala ojamelana nalo emva kokuthandana kwendoda yakho likushiye uziva ukhubazekile, unokuba ufumana ezi mpawu zilandelayo:
- Ukubetha kwentliziyo
- Ukuziva uphefumla kancinci
- Iimvakalelo zeAntsy okanye ukungakwazi ukuthula
- Isihlunu kunye nesiyezi
- Iimvakalelo zokungakhululeki, ukothuka kunye noloyiko olungafanelekanga
- Izandla ezibilile
- Iinyawo ezibandayo
- Kunzima ukulala
- Ukunyusa amandla
Uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo luhlala lubangelwa luxinzelelo lwendalo kunye notshintsho ngaphakathi kwengqondo. Oku kwenzeka xa uphantsi koxinzelelo lweemvakalelo, ezinje ngefuthe lomyeni wakho. Ukuxhalaba emva kokuqhathwa kungonakalisa ngakumbi kunokuba ucinga.
Umbuzo oqhubeka uza engqondweni yakho kukuba ujongana njani noxinzelelo?
I-PTSD kunye noxinzelelo emva kokuthandana komyeni wakho
Kukho amawaka ophando lwengqondo oludibanisa ngamandla uxinzelelo lwasemva kokungathembeki njengesebe lePosttraumatic Stress Disorder. Iimpawu zesifo sokungathembeki emva kokungathembeki ziyafana neempawu xa umntu efumana isiganeko esisongela ubomi njengokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo, imfazwe, okanye uhlaselo lomzimba.
Ukuxhalaba emva kokuthandana komyeni kunokuba sisiphumo esibuhlungu sexesha elibuhlungu. Kuya kufuneka ufunde ukuba ujongana njani nezinto ezibangela ukungathembeki kunye nendlela yokufumana ukungathembeki kwangaphambili.
Yintoni omele uyenze emva kokuba umyeni wakho ekopela ukulawula uxinzelelo lwakho? Nazi ezinye zeengcebiso zokujongana namava endoda yokukhohlisa.
Zinike uxolo malunga nokuba ubudlelwane bakho buya phi
Emva kwexesha elidlulileyo kunye noxinzelelo emva kokudibana kwendoda yakho, ungazinika uxolo lwengqondo ngokuthatha isigqibo malunga nolwalamano lwakho ukusukela ngoku. Ngamanye amaxesha ukusebenza ngokungathembeki kunokuzisa iinkumbulo ezibuhlungu kunokuphelisa ulwalamano ngokupheleleyo.
Umsindo, ingqumbo kunye noloyiko kunokukuhlupha njengoko ujonga emva kuyo yonke inkumbulo kwaye uzibuze ukuba ingaba kukho into ekhohlisayo eyenzekayo ngasemva kwakho.
Kwelinye icala, ukusebenza ngokungathembeki kunokwenzeka xa uxinzelelo emva kwento yendoda ingasasebenzi kwiqabane. Ngapha koko, uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo baxela umtshato owomeleleyo, onxibelelana ngakumbi, nokonwaba emva kokulungisa iingxaki zabo.
Ukhetho lolwakho. Ngaba ufuna ukubuphelisa ubudlelwane bakho okanye ufune iingcebiso kwaye usebenze ngokungathembeki? Thatha isigqibo sokuba yeyiphi eyona nto ilungele wena nosapho lwakho kule meko.
Hlanganisa inkqubo yenkxaso eqinileyo
Ukuba unamaxhala emva kokungathembeki kwaye ucinga ukuba ungawenza njani umcimbi wokuthandana komyeni wakho, uyakudinga inkqubo yenkxaso eyomeleleyo ukukunceda ngeentsuku zobumnyama. Hlanganisa abahlobo abathembekileyo kunye nosapho kwaye uqhagamshele.
Ukunxibelelana nabanye nokuba nomntu okhathalayo ukumamela iingxaki zakho kunokuba luncedo ngendlela engummangaliso kwaye kunokunceda ukuthomalalisa uxinzelelo emva kwento yendoda.
Zinike ixesha lokuqhubekeka
Unokuwoyisa njani umcimbi wokuthandana? Ukuba ufumene nje malunga nokuthandana komyeni wakho, eyona nto ikrelekrele onokuyenza kukuzinika ixesha lokuba usizi. Xa ucinga ngendlela yokujamelana nomntu othandana naye, unokukujonga oku njengokubi njengokusweleka komntu.
Nokuba ukhetha ukuzama ukusebenza kubudlelwane, ingqondo yakho isenokufumana ilahleko ngamanye amaxesha ethelekiswa ngengqondo nokufa. Esi isenokuba sisiphelo sobudlelwane bakho bakudala, kwaye kwamkelekile ngokugqibeleleyo ukuthatha ixesha lokuba buhlungu. Ukuxhalaba emva kwento yendoda kunzima ukohlula kwaye kuhlala kuthatha ixesha ukuyilungisa nokuphilisa.
Yenza isiqhelo kwaye unamathele kuso
Ukuba umyeni wakho wayenolwalamano, bonke ubomi bakho ngokuqinisekileyo buye bajikela ezantsi. Oku kwenziwa kube nzima ngakumbi ukuba unabantwana kunye.
Udlula njani ekuthandaneni?
Ngelixa kubalulekile ukuba uziqhekeze kwaye ulusizi ulwalamano lwakho, kubalulekile ukuba ugcine inkqubo kwaye unamathele kuyo ukuze ujongane noxinzelelo emva kokuthandana komyeni. Isiqhelo siya kunceda ukugcina ubomi bakho buhlelekile ngexesha apho yonke enye into ibonakala ihlasele. Zithuthuzele kwimikhwa yakho yemihla ngemihla.
Yiba nomonde
Into enengxaki ngoxinzelelo kukuba ngelixa ithatha inyathelo elinye ukuyizisa ebomini bakho, inokuthatha unaphakade ukuyilahla. Ukuxhalaba ngokweemvakalelo emva kokuthandana komyeni wakho kunokukukhathaza, kukucaphukise, kukucaphukise, kwaye usenokukuthiya. Ukoyisa ukukhathazeka ngokweemvakalelo ngokukrexeza kuthatha ixesha.
Kodwa, oku nako kuya kudlula. Ngoko ke yiba nomonde. Ukuxhalaba emva kokuthandana komyeni akuyi kuhlala nawe ngonaphakade.
Lala utye, uhambe
Xa ujongene noxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kubalulekile ukuba ugxile kwezi zinto zisisiseko zintathu: ukulala, ukutya nokuzilolonga. Kwimicimbi yokusinda yeemvakalelo, kuya kufuneka uzame kwaye ufumane okungenani iiyure ezisi-8 zokulala busuku ngabunye.
Ukulala lixesha apho umzimba wakho ukwazi ukukhululeka kwaye uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde usebenze.
Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuqhubeka nokutya. Uninzi lufumanisa ukuba umzimba uyazivalela ngexesha loxinzelelo kwaye ingqondo iyayeka ukubonakalisa wonke umzimba ukuba utye. Qhubeka nokutya kathathu ngemini ukugcina umzimba wakho womelele kwinkqubo ezayo. Eli licebiso elibalulekileyo lendlela yokujamelana nomyeni okopelayo.
Okokugqibela, yenza umthambo. Isenokungavakali ngathi yeyokuqala into ofuna ukuyenza emva kokufumana uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo xa ucinga ukoyisa umcimbi, kodwa ilungile emzimbeni wakho.
Ukuzivocavoca ukukhutshwa kukuziva ulungile endorphins, kuphucula imeko yengqondo kunye nempilo yengqondo, kuyayiphumlisa ingqondo yakho, kunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokulwa nokudakumba. Ungayichazanga eyokubonakala imangalisa.
Ziqhelanise nokuzonwabisa ngokwenyani. Ukujongana neqabane lokukhohlisa, kubalulekile ukuba ungayifumani intlungu kunye nomsindo ufumane okona kulungileyo kuwe. Ukuphumla kunokukuthuthuzela.
Gxila kwizinto ezintle
Ukufumanisa into yokuthandana komyeni wakho kunokuba buhlungu. Akukho mntu uya kuphikisa ukuba ubomi bakho buza kutshintsha, nokuba uhlala nomyeni wakho okanye awukho. Kodwa, awunakuhlala unje unaphakade.
Kuya kufuneka uphefumle kwaye uqalise kwakhona. Nceda ukulwa nokuxhalaba ngokweemvakalelo ngokujonga kwizinto ezintle ebomini bakho. Impilo yakho, abahlobo kunye nosapho abakuthandayo, uThixo okholelwa kuye, kunye nezinto ezincinci ebomini ezikwenza wonwabe. Vumela ithuba lokuphupha ngekamva lakho kwakhona kwaye ucinge kuphela iimeko ezifanelekileyo.
Ukujongana noxinzelelo emva kokuthandana komyeni wakho kunokukugcina inyanga okanye kunokuqhubeka iminyaka. Nokuba uhambo lwakho lukusa phi, ukwazi indlela yokujongana noxinzelelo ngoku kuya kukunceda ukuba ububambe ngokuqinileyo ubomi bakho ukuze uqale ukubuphila kwakhona.
Ukuba usafuna ukunika elinye ithuba kubudlelwane bakho kwaye uyazibuza ukuba ungawenza njani umcimbi wokuthandana, kukho izixhobo eziluncedo ezinokukukhokela. Kodwa ngaphambi kwayo nayiphi na loo nto, kufuneka uziphilise kuqala.