Umxholo
- 1. Ukungabinangqondo akuyona into engaqhelekanga
- 2. Chonga izinto ezikwenza usebenze ngokweemvakalelo
- 3. Yiba novelwano uqonde
- Xola xa uziva uchukumisekile
- 5. Thetha neqabane lakho malunga nokuziphatha kwakho okungenangqondo
- 6. Funa uncedo
Ubambiswano lobuqu zizizathu ezifanelekileyo zokunxibelelana gwenxa. Sixelelwe ukuba sinxibelelane, sixelelwe (uhlobo) lokuba kufanele ukuba sinxibelelana njani, kwaye sixelelwa ukuba imitshato ephumelelayo kunye nentsebenziswano yenziwe ngabantu abanxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo (nokuba kuthetha ntoni oko.) Ke, ukuba imeko Unxibelelwano lwenza ingqiqo enkulu, kutheni ungayenzi? Abantu ngabantu abafanelekileyo! Ke kutheni le nto ungenangqiqo kangaka?
Ilula. Abantu zizinto ezinengqiqo kuphela.
Xa kukho into ebuhlungu eyenzeka kuwe, nokuba ingakanani "enkulu" ingqondo yakho enengqondo egqiba ukuba ibe yiyo, iNkqubo yakho yeLimbic igcina ukwenzakala njengememori yeemvakalelo. Iinkumbulo zakho zeemvakalelo aziqwalaselwanga ngokupheleleyo, kwaye azithunyelwanga nakwiindawo ezinobuchopho. Endaweni yokuba zigcinwe kwiNkqubo yeLimbic.
Ke, kuthetha ntoni oku? Kuthetha ukuba ezi nkumbulo kunye neemvakalelo ezingasetyenziswanga azikabi nengqiqo. Ezi nkumbulo zibalulekileyo zinokukwenza ukuba usebenze ngokweemvakalelo kwaye, okona kubaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane bakho, kunokubangela ukuba ube nobunzima obukhulu kunxibelelwano lomntu. Wazi njani xa uthe wangena kwindawo yeLimbic yengqondo yakho? Ngalo naliphi na imeko apho unempendulo enamandla yeemvakalelo, ujongene nolwazi olugcinwe ngaphakathi kweNkqubo yeLimbic. Nje ukuba ulwazi luye kwiindawo ezinobuchopho bakho, alusasebenzi.
Kuba ukuba nengqiqo ngokupheleleyo kungenakufikeleleka, unxibelelwano oluhle lubukeka njani? Ukuzama ukuba sisinxibelelanisi esisengqiqweni ngokupheleleyo, ngakumbi xa kufikwa kubudlelwane bobuqu, yinto engenamsebenzi. Kukho izinto ezimbalwa onokuzenza, nangona kunjalo, ukunxibelelana ngcono neqabane lakho kunye nabantu obathandayo.
1. Ukungabinangqondo akuyona into engaqhelekanga
Yamkela ukuba ukuphinda usebenze ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokungenangqondo kuyindalo, kuwe nakwabanye. Xa isiza kuwo, ukuqonda ngokulula ukuba awulahlekwa yingqondo kunokuba namandla amakhulu. Ukuziva ngathi amava akho kuyinto engaqhelekanga okanye yezifo kunokukhokelela kwiimvakalelo zokuzahlula kunye nokuzithemba.
2. Chonga izinto ezikwenza usebenze ngokweemvakalelo
Qonda ukuba yintoni ebomini bakho ekwenza uzive usebenze ngokweemvakalelo. Kubalulekile ukuba ujonge indlela osabela ngayo kwaye uqhelane noko kuzisa iimpendulo ezomeleleyo zeemvakalelo. Mhlawumbi yimigwebo yabanye abazali. Mhlawumbi uziva usebenze ngokwasemphefumlweni xa iqabane lakho lisithi bayakukhupha inkunkuma kwaye balibale. Khumbula, eyona nto inemveliso encinci onokuyenza kukuzigweba ngokweemvakalelo zakho ezisebenzayo. Jonga impendulo yakho ngokweemvakalelo ngokungagwebi, kwaye uyivumele ukuba iqukuqele kuwe njengesaqhwithi sethutyana.
3. Yiba novelwano uqonde
Yiba nemfesane kwabanye, njengoko befumana ukuphinda basebenze ngokweemvakalelo. Xa umntu ekwindawo yokuphinda asebenze ngokweemvakalelo, akunakwenzeka ukuba benze ingxoxo esengqiqweni. Inkqubo yeLimbic iya kutsala umdla womntu wonke kumava e-visceral yomothuko, kwaye ingqwalaselo encinci ishiywe ukwenza ukuqonda okuqinisekileyo ngaphakathi kweendawo zecortical. Xa ubona oku kusenzeka, kubalulekile ukuba ucothise kwaye unike omnye umntu isibonelelo sokuthandabuza. Yiba nemfesane kunye nokuqonda, njengomntu okwenziwa ziinkumbulo zangaphambili ezigcinwe kwiNkqubo yeLimbic yakho. La mathuba okuqonda kunye nemfesane anokuba zizitena ezomeleleyo zokwakha ubudlelwane obunokuthenjwa nothando ngakumbi.
Xola xa uziva uchukumisekile
Zibekele imida, ukuze ukwazi ukuzithethelela xa uziva unamandla. Umlingane wakho unokuba ngumntu okhuselekileyo onokukhutshwa naye. Nangona kunjalo, mhlawumbi abasebukhweni bakho okanye abantu abalingane bakho abakhuselekanga. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile ukuba uqonde izinto ozibangela ukuba zibekho kwaye unqume ukuba ungayifumana njani imveliso xa ushukunyiswa kwimeko engakhuselekanga. Mhlawumbi uyazithethelela ukuya kwigumbi langasese, ukuze uzinike ixesha lokuvumela impendulo ukuba iqukuqele kuwe ngokupheleleyo. Kwakhona qaphela ukuba okukhona usenza ukuziqhelanisa nokwazi amava akho kunye nezinto zakho ezibangela, ixesha elincinci eliza kuthatha loo maxesha asebenzayo ukuba adlule.
5. Thetha neqabane lakho malunga nokuziphatha kwakho okungenangqondo
Thetha malunga nezinto zakho ezibangele kunye neqabane lakho, kwaye ungumnini ukuba le nxalenye yakho ayinangqondo kwaye ngenxa yeengxaki ezingaphunyezwanga. "Irrational" ligama elibi kuphela ukuba uyalivumela libe linye. Ukuba namava akho angenangqondo, kunye nokuchaza ezi ngcamango kwiqabane lakho, kunqumle kwiimvakalelo ezininzi zokungaqondwa kakuhle okanye ukudideka. Uninzi lwamava ethu alunangqondo. Ukuze iqabane lakho likuqonde, njengomntu, kufuneka livume kwaye lihloniphe icandelo lakho elingelilo ingcinga efanelekileyo kunye nonxibelelwano. Kuya kufuneka kwakhona bayamkele into yokuba ayisosizathu sokuba baqiqwe ngokupheleleyo.
6. Funa uncedo
Ukuba uziva uchaphazeleke kakhulu ziinkumbulo zangaphambili okanye uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo, kuyacetyiswa ukuba ufune uncedo kumnikezeli wempilo yengqondo onelayisensi. Ezinye zeendlela ezilungileyo zokufikelela kulwazi lweNkqubo yeLimbic zii-EMDR, Neurofeedback, kunye nonyango olusekwe engqondweni. Unyango oluqhelekileyo lokuthetha lunokujongana nemiqobo ebalulekileyo ekufikeleleni kwimemori nakwiimvakalelo ezigcinwe kwiNkqubo yeLimbic. Oku ikakhulu kungenxa yokuba unyango lwentetho luzama ukufikelela kwiNkqubo yeLimbic ngePre-Frontal Cortex. Unyango oludweliswe apha ngentla, oluye lwaqinisekiswa ukuba lusebenze ngokuzolileyo nangokufanelekileyo luthoba iNkqubo yeLimbic esebenzayo, zibalulekile ekukhuthazeni ukuqhubekeka okunempilo kwamava adlulileyo.
Ukungavumelani neqabane lakho kunokukwenza uzive ungaqondwa. Xa uziva ngathi ubungekho ngqiqweni, unokuziva uzimele wedwa kwaye udidekile. Isigama esifanelekileyo kunye neenjongo zokungagwetywa, ubuhlakani obuzinikeleyo yindawo efanelekileyo yokuphilisa iiLimbic. Ngokwabelana ngamava angaphaya kwamagama, sinokuqala ukuhambisa iilebheli zangaphambili ezinje "ezingenangqondo" kunye "nokungekho ngqiqweni" kwindawo yamava eemvakalelo ezingezizo zomlomo.