Umxholo
- Ukwenza ubudlelwane obusondeleyo
- Iinzondo ezingasonjululwanga neqabane lakho zikhokelela kulwalamano olusenyongweni
- Hlaziya ubudlelwane bakho
- Ukufuna uncedo ukubona oyena nobangela womzamo wakho wokungabikho
- 1. Ukukhululwa kwe-oxytocin
- 2. Iyakunyanzela ukuba wenze ubudlelwane kwindawo yokuqala
- 3. Yandisa amajoni ethu omzimba
- 4. Ukwanda kwezakhono zonxibelelwano
- Susa iibhloko kunxibelelwano
Emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala zokuthandana kwabantu abaninzi, ukusondelelana kuyafa ngokukhawuleza.
Akunqabile ukuba isibini esithandana kakhulu ekuqaleni kobudlelwane babo, ukuba siqhubeke sidlulileyo kwiinyanga ezintandathu zokuqala okanye nangaphezulu, oko kukhokelela ekwehleni okuqhubekayo kubudlelwane.
Kule minyaka ingama-28 idlulileyo, umbhali oyena mntu uthengisa kakhulu, umcebisi kunye nomqeqeshi wobomi uDavid Essel ebenceda abantu ukuba bahlale benxibelelene ngokusondelana, isini kunye nonxibelelwano ukwenza olona lwalamano lubalaseleyo.
Ukwenza ubudlelwane obusondeleyo
Apha ngezantsi, uDavid ucela umngeni kuthi, ukwenza ubudlelwane obusondeleyo bunzulu ngakumbi kunama-99% abantu abakhe bacinga ngokwenza.
Ndikhumbula obunye bobudlelwane obuzalisekisayo endakha ndaba nabo, yayingowasetyhini owayefuna ukuba sondelelene kwaye abelane ngesondo kunye nam njengoko ndenzayo naye.
Emva konyaka sithandana, yayingathi sidibene nje. Oku kunqabile, kwahlukile, kangangokuba ndifuna ukwabelana ngomyalezo wokuba olu hlobo lobudlelwane lukhangeleka njani kwihlabathi.
Ndenze njalo ke.
Kwintetho nganye endiyenzileyo, kwaye oku kubuyela emva kwii-1990s, ndifumene indlela yokuluka indlela ubomi bethu obusondeleyo obabunobungangamsha ngayo, kunye nendlela eyakhokelela ngayo kwimvakalelo yokuhlangana phakathi kwethu sobabini. Kwaye nangona ubudlelwane buphelile emva kweminyaka embalwa, inkumbulo yam ngelo xesha ayikaze iphele.
Njengombandela wenyani, indenze ndacinga ngendlela ekumnandi ngayo ukuba nomntu ebomini bakho owenza uthando kuwe yonke imihla yenyanga.
Ngaba uyifundile le bendisanda kuyithetha? Yayinamandla kangakanani, ukwenza uthando kumntu yonke imihla yenyanga.
Iinzondo ezingasonjululwanga neqabane lakho zikhokelela kulwalamano olusenyongweni
Ngoku, ukuba ulwalamano olusokolayo kunokuba nzima ngokwenene.
Ukuba usebudlelwaneni apho nobabini benesithukuthezi ngokwenene kunokuba nzima ngenene. Ukuba ulwalamano kwaye akukho namnye kuni oye wacinga kakhulu ngesondo kule minyaka ili-10 idlulileyo kunokuba nzima ngokwenene, kodwa nantoni na enzima ukuyenza iya kunika umvuzo omkhulu.
Okanye mhlawumbi unobudlelwane obukhulayo, kodwa isondo asisoloko siphambili kwengqondo yakho.
Mhlawumbi uzinzile kanye ngeveki, okanye rhoqo ngeveki, ukuze unakekele iqabane lakho kodwa awukho ebhodini.
Ngoku, oku kunokuba ngumqondiso wezinto ezininzi.
Isizathu sokuqala sokuncipha kwesondo lethu okanye ubomi bezesondo bunento yokwenza nenzondo.
Ukuba uneengcombululu ezingasombululwanga kunye neqabane lakho, enye yeendlela esizikhupha ngayo kubo ngokungazi okanye ngokungazi ngokuzivalela kwigumbi lokulala.
Ke sisebenza ixesha elide. Okanye siqala ukusela ngakumbi. Okanye mhlawumbi sihlala ixesha elide kwindawo yokwenza umthambo ukuze kungabikho mfuneko yokuba ekhaya.
Mhlawumbi sisebenza kwangoko, ke akufuneki sijongane neqabane lethu ngexesha lamaxesha obuzaza kusasa.
Hlaziya ubudlelwane bakho
Ayinamsebenzi ukuba ucinga ntoni ngokuba kutheni ubomi bakho bezokwabelana ngesondo busweleke ngokumangalisayo, kodwa lo mceli mngeni endiza kukunika wona ngowona unokuguqula ngokwenene ukuba ungubani, kwaye ubudlelwane bakho bukhangeleka njani ngoku nakwabanye ubomi bakho.
Ukuba awunakho kwaphela ukuqhuba ngesondo, kwaye awunanzondo oyaziyo neqabane lakho, kwaye wena neqabane lakho ninxibelelana ngokugqibeleleyo yonke imihla, kunokuba yingxaki kwiihormones zakho kwaye kule meko ndinokuthi ufumane iprofayile yobungcali yenziwe ngazo zonke iihomoni zakho, yingcali yehomoni, ukubona ukuba ikhona into efunekayo ukuze kunyuswe i-libido yakho.
Nalu ke ucelomngeni: Ndifuna wenze uthando kwiqabane lakho yonke imihla kwiintsuku ezingama-30 ezizayo. Yiyo leyo. Lowo ngumsebenzi wakho wasekhaya. Mhle umsebenzi olungileyo wesikolo okanye ntoni?
Yonke imihla kwiintsuku ezingama-30 ezizayo, nokuba oko kuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka uyicwangcise, uyibeke kwi-smartphone yakho, uyibeke kwisikhumbuzi sosuku lwakho, qhubeka uyenze.
Ngaba kufuneka ufumane umntu ogcina umntwana rhoqo ukuze wenze lo mngeni ube yinyani? Sukuxhoma nantoni na ngaphandle kokugqiba umsebenzi endikunike wona.
Kwaye ndiyafa apha.
Ndiyazi, ngokusebenza kunye nabathengi kwixa elidlulileyo, ukuba xa babewuthatha lo mceli mngeni kwaye bewugqibile, ubomi babo bothando, ukusondelelana kwabo, kunye neenkolelo zabo kumandla obudlelwane babo bonyuke kakhulu!
Ngoku, oku kungazisa nengqumbo ongazi nokuba unayo.
Masithi wena neqabane lakho nithathe isigqibo sokuthatha umngeni wam, kwaye niye kwiintsuku ezisixhenxe zokuqala kwaye nithandane yonke imihla, emva koko ubethe iveki yesibini kwaye ngesizathu esithile awukho kwimeko, mhlawumbi Iqabane litshintshe izicwangciso zalo ekubeni zenze uthando kusasa kude kube ngokuhlwa kwaye ube nomsindo kubo.
Ukufuna uncedo ukubona oyena nobangela womzamo wakho wokungabikho
Kule meko, qiniseka ukuba uya kwangoko kwaye uqale ukusebenza nomcebisi, umntu onokukunceda ubone ukuba yintoni unobangela wokungazami kwakho emva komhla wesixhenxe.
Kwaye isizathu sokuba nditsho ukuba kufuneka ulungele ukubona umcebisi kukuba kufanelekile ukuba kube ngumceli mngeni othabathayo ukuthatha kunye neqabane lakho, ukwenza uthando yonke imihla kangangeentsuku ezingama-30 ezichanekileyo.
Esi ayisiso isohlwayo, kuya kufuneka babe luvuyo ngokupheleleyo!
Kodwa ukuba ijika ibe yinto enzima. Ayisiyonto yesini kwaphela, yinto ephantsi kwesini edala ukudinwa. Kwaye kuhlala kuyinzondo.
Izizathu zokuba wena neqabane lakho nifanele niwamkele lo mngeni
Nazi izizathu ezine eziphambili zokuba kutheni wena neqabane lakho kufuneka wamkele umceli mngeni wam, ngokulala ngesondo iintsuku ezingama-30 zilandelelana, ngaphandle kokuthandabuza:
1. Ukukhululwa kwe-oxytocin
Enye yezona hormone zinamandla emzimbeni, ibizwa ngokuba yi "bonding hormone" ngesizathu esivakalayo.
Xa usabelana ngesondo, i-oxytocin iyakhululwa, izisa wena neqabane lakho kunye hayi kuphela ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Ziphose kuyo.
2. Iyakunyanzela ukuba wenze ubudlelwane kwindawo yokuqala
Xa uzibophelela ekulalaneni ngesondo iintsuku ezingama-30 zilandelelana, kuya kufuneka wenze ubudlelwane buyeyona nto iphambili, kuya kufuneka uyicwangcise, uyihlelele kwaye kulungile.
Xa usenza ubudlelwane bakho ukuba bubaluleke kakhulu ngokwenziwa komzimba, zonke iintlobo zezibonelelo ezimangalisayo ziya kuza kuwe neqabane lakho.
3. Yandisa amajoni ethu omzimba
Ukukhutshwa ngexesha le-orgasm kuvumela ukusasazeka kweekhemikhali, ii-neurotransmitters, ukuba zikhutshwe ngengqondo efana ne-dopamine, i-serotonin, kunye ne-gaba.
Ukukhutshwa kwezi khemikhali ze-neurochemicals kuphakamisa imood yethu kunye nokuqinisa amajoni akho omzimba.
Akukho zizathu zokubuya umva kule ngxaki yeentsuku ezingama-30.
4. Ukwanda kwezakhono zonxibelelwano
Xa usabelana ngesondo yonke imihla kangangeentsuku ezingama-30, unokufuna ukuzama ukuthetha neqabane lakho malunga nokwenza izinto ezithile zoyilo kwigumbi lokulala okanye ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala.
Mhlawumbi awuzange ube sokwabelana ngesondo ngomlomo, kwaye uthatha isigqibo sokuba ngeli xesha lomceli mngeni weentsuku ezingama-30 zokulala ngesondo yonke imihla ofuna ukufunda ngakumbi malunga nokwenza isondo ngomlomo ngakumbi kwiqabane lakho.
Okanye mhlawumbi ufuna ukwenza obu budlelwane bokwabelana ngesondo kwitafile yegumbi lokutyela. Ndiyazi ukuba uyahleka, andiyi, ndishiyeke kakhulu.
Ngaba uyabona apho ndihamba khona?
Xa uzibophelela kwiintsuku ezingama-30 zilandelelana ngokwesondo, masivule unxibelelwano uxelele iqabane lakho ukuba lithanda ntoni malunga nezinto abazenzayo, kwaye ubabuze ukuba yintoni onokuyenza ngcono kwigumbi lokulala, okanye kumgangatho wasekhitshini, okanye kwi ishawa, okanye naphi na apho uthatha isigqibo sokulala ngesondo, unxibelelwano kufuneka lube luhamba ngokukhululekileyo.
Susa iibhloko kunxibelelwano
Ukuba uneebhloko zonxibelelwano, kwakhona, fikelela kumcebisi onjengam, akuncede ufike emazantsi ebhloko, ukuze sizisuse kwaye siqhubele phambili ebomini.
Ukuba unika eli thuba kwiqabane lakho, kwaye bayalidubula, kwakhona ukuba bendikwimeko yakho ndingaya kumcebisi, kwaye ndibone ukuba ungabafumana beze nawe na. Nokuba bathi hayi, yenza umsebenzi kunye noMcebisi wedwa, ukuze ufunde indlela yokujongana nokwaliwa osandula ukukunikwa.
Mhlawumbi kufuneka ubuyele umva kwaye ubabonise ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Mhlawumbi kuya kufuneka uyizise kubo ngelizwi elahlukileyo lelizwi. Okanye mhlawumbi kufuneka ubabonise eli nqaku, apho banokufunda khona malunga nezibonelelo zokulala ngesondo yonke imihla kangangeentsuku ezingama-30 ukuze basongele iintloko zabo ngeenxa yengcinga yokuba kukho amakhulu ezibonelelo zokulandela ngale ngxaki inzima yokulala .
Ndiyakholelwa ukuba eli hlabathi lifuna ukusondelelana ngakumbi. Ukwabelana ngesondo ngakumbi. Unxibelelwano ngakumbi. Kwaye ukudibanisa ngakumbi kubudlelwane.
Umsebenzi ka-David Essel'ukhuthazwe kakhulu ngabantu abafana nongasekhoyo uWayne Dyer, kwaye usaziwayo uJenny McCarthy uthi "uDavid Essel yinkokeli entsha yentshukumo yokucinga eyakhayo."
Incwadi yakhe ye-10, enye yeyona nto ithengiswa kakhulu, ibizwa ngokuba yi “Focus! Bulala iinjongo zakho - Isikhokelo esiqinisekisiweyo sempumelelo enkulu, isimo sengqondo esinamandla, nothando olunzulu.