Umxholo
Inkampani yakhe,
isihlwele,
kwaye abathathu yipati. ”
- UAndy Warhol
Imiba yobudlelwane. Kwaye bathatha umsebenzi.
Kwaye kufuneka bonwabe kwaye badlale ukuze bondle, banike umvuzo kwaye bakwazi ukuzixhasa. Kukulangazelela kwethu okunzulu kunye noloyiko lwethu oloyikisayo, indawo yethu yokutya, uncedo kunye nokhuseleko, kwaye ngokulinganayo neentloni, ixhala kunye neentloni.
Ubudlelwane obusondeleyo babantu ababini abuzinzanga ngokwendalo. Xa uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo lusoyikisa, umntu wesithathu kufunwa ukunceda ukuthomalalisa uxinzelelo.
UGuerin kunye noFogarty babhala.
"Kule meko, asibuboni ubomi njengoluhlu lweendlela ekufuneka zikhethwe, kodwa njengombala wesanti engunxantathu kunye namatye ekufuneka ujikelezwe kuwo."
Inkqubo yolwalamano lwabantu abathathu, unxantathu endaweni yesithathu, isebenza ukunciphisa uxinzelelo ngaxeshanye iqinisekisa ukuba iingxaki ezisisiseko kulwalamano azisoze zisonjululwe. Kuyinzuzo yexesha elifutshane kwintlungu yexesha elide. Okubi nangakumbi, oonxantathu bahlala bekhulisa ukungakhululeki ngokweemvakalelo ngoku:
- Ukunyusa ukukhula kweempawu kumntu-icala elingalunganga lonxantathu luphawu nje lokubonisa ingxaki yengxaki yosapho.
- Ukugcina ukungavisisani kobudlelwane
- Ukuthintela okanye ukuthintela isisombululo semicimbi enetyhefu okanye ephikisanayo
- Ukuthintela ukuvela kokusebenza kobudlelwane ngokuhamba kwexesha
- Ukudala kunye nokuqhubela phambili ukunyanzeliswa kwezonyango
- Ukuhambisa iintsapho ngeendlela zokusombulula iingxaki
Kuyanceda ukucinga ngoonxantathu abasebenzisanayo njengabanobume bobudlelwane, umsebenzi kunye nenkqubo yeemvakalelo.
Ubume bonxantathu wolwalamano buqukethe ezimbini ngaphakathi, ezidityanisiweyo nezisondele kakhulu, kwaye enye ingaphandle ekude ngokweemvakalelo kwaye ikude.
Umsebenzi wonxantathu wobudlelwane kuku yenza uzinzo ngo:
1. Ukujonga kwinto yangaphandle ukuze isibini sikwazi ukulungisa ukungqubana kwaso.
2. Oku ke kuyanceda ekususeni ukungavisisani phakathi kwabo ngaphandle kotshintsho olukhulu.
Inkqubo yeemvakalelo zonxantathu wolwalamano iqulathe ukuhamba koxinzelelo lwenkqubo engapheliyo njengoko umanyano lutshintsha kwaye lutshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha.
Ubukho bendawo yonke yoonxantathu kubo bonke ubunzima bobudlelwane yenye yeendlela ezisibhozo zokudibanisa Ithiyori yeeNkqubo zeNtsapho yaseBowen (BFST).
"[Unxantathu] uthathwa njengesitena sokwakha okanye" imolekyuli "yeenkqubo ezinkulu zeemvakalelo kuba unxantathu yeyona nkqubo incinci izinzileyo yobudlelwane. Inkqubo yabantu ababini ayizinzanga kuba iyayinyamezela ingxabano encinci ngaphambi kokubandakanya umntu wesithathu. Unxantathu unokuba nokuqina ngakumbi ngaphandle kokubandakanya omnye umntu kuba uxinzelelo lunokutshintsha lujikeleze ubudlelwane abathathu. Ukuba uxinzelelo luphezulu kakhulu ukuba unxantathu omnye ungabinayo, isasazeka kuthotho loonxantathu "abadibeneyo".
Ngoku ukuba 'umntu wesithathu' akangomntu kodwa uyinto?
Umba kaJulayi / Agasti 2016 wePsychology Today ucebisa iingozi zekhulu lama-21 elithi 'ménage à trois', imicimbi yethu ekuyo yonke indawo netekhnoloji. Ngobuso bethu kwifowuni yethu okanye ithebhulethi okanye iwotshi efanelekileyo okanye ilaptop, sinokubakho njani ngoku kwiqabane lethu?
USherry Turkle ubhale incwadi yakhe yamva nje kwinkcubeko yekhompyuter "Kutheni Silindele Okungakumbi Kwitekhnoloji kwaye Ngaphantsi Komnye Nomnye". Ucebisa ukuba itekhnoloji idala "amayeza abambezela okwenyani ekubalekeni". Kwi-LOL, i-OMG nakwabanye ngoku sinokongeza i-IRL ethetha "Kubomi boBomi" njengakwinto ekhoyo emhlabeni oyinyani ngokuchaseneyo nonxibelelwano kunye nokunxibelelana kwi-Intanethi okanye kwimeko ebubuxoki.
Xa "sinencoko" nabantu abanokubangabikho, kwaye xa "sithetha" ngezithupha kunelizwi lethu, xa umntu ophezu kwetafile ebona umva we-iPhone yethu okanye ejonge phantsi esenza isikrini, kangakanani ukwabelana okwenyani kunye nokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kungabakho?
Ndibalisa ibali kube kanye ngovuyo lwam lokuba neeyure ezintandathu zobuso obungaphazanyiswanga kunye nesihlobo esisondeleyo kwaye impendulo yathi "uthetha kwi-iPhone yakho?" Ucinga ukuba bekufanele ndongeze i-IRL.
Jika ujonge kwiqabane lakho kunokuba ujike. Kwaye khumbuza wonke umntu, okona kubaluleke kakhulu ngokwakho, ukuba ngenxa yesizathu esingaqhelekanga nesingaqhelekanga, i-elektroniki ayisebenzi kwigumbi lakho lokulala.
Sonke sinengxaki yokulinganisa ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kunye nomgama. Ngenxa yoko sonke sinokuxhamla kuqeqesho lobudlelwane kunye nokubonisana. Ke “ukuba ayimangalisi into yokuba 'ayikhangeleki ilungile, ngubani oza kubiza?" Kwaye ukuba awunayo iProton Pack ye-bustin, 'cinga ukubonisana nomqeqeshi oqeqeshwe kakuhle we-Bowen Family Systems Theory Coach kunye noMcebisi ngobuhlobo "ongoyikiyo ukuba akukho siphelo [sosapho]."
Elona thamsanqa kuhambo lwakho lokuqhubeka kobomi bakho bonke.