Umxholo
- Iyacetyiswa- Gcina iKhosi yam yoMtshato
- 1. Ukulandela imizekelo yabazali noomawokhulu bethu
- 2. Inzondo
- 3. Ukoyika ukusondelelana
- 4. Izakhono zonxibelelwano ezoyikekayo
- 5. Ukuzithemba okuphantsi nokuzithemba okuphantsi
- 6. Wenze impazamo, watshata umntu ongafanelekanga?
- Funa uncedo lweengcali
- Yibhale phantsi
- Funda ukuba ungaqala njani ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakho
- Qala ngokubuza imibuzo elungileyo
- Fumana oyena nobangela wokuzithemba okuphantsi
- Yaphula inkohliso
Ngaba utshatile? Ngaba kukusilela kwezakhono zonxibelelwano, okanye enye into? Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba imitshato emininzi ayisebenzi ngoku kunakuqala?
Mhlawumbi ngenxa yeendaba kunye ne-Intanethi, sihlala sifunda ngabantu abanemicimbi, okanye iziyobisi kubudlelwane okanye olunye uhlobo lokungasebenzi olubonakala lubulala ubudlelwane ngakumbi kunye nemitshato emininzi kwihlabathi liphela.
Kule minyaka ingama-28 idlulileyo, umbhali othengisa kakhulu, umcebisi kunye nomqeqeshi wobomi uDavid Essel ebencedisa ekufundiseni izibini malunga nokuba kwenzeka ntoni ukuze ube nomtshato ophilileyo, nolonwabo okanye ubudlelwane.
Apha ngezantsi, uDavid uthetha ngemitshato engasebenzi kakuhle, oonobangela kunye nokunyanga
“Ndibuzwa rhoqo kudliwanondlebe nonomathotholo kwaye ngexa ndifundisa e-USA, yeyiphi ipesenti yemitshato eqhuba kakuhle ngelixesha langoku?
Emva kweminyaka engama-30 yokuba ngumcebisi kunye nomqeqeshi wobomi, ndinokuxelela ukuba ipesenti yemitshato esempilweni iphantsi kakhulu. Mhlawumbi ngama-25%? Kwaye ke umbuzo olandelayo endibuzwayo ngulo, kutheni le nto sinokungasebenzi kakuhle kuthando? Ngaba ukunqongophala kwezakhono zonxibelelwano, okanye enye into?
Impendulo ayinakuze ibe lula, kodwa ndiyakuxelela ukuba ayisiyongxaki nje ngezakhono zonxibelelwano, yinto enokungena nzulu kunoko.
Iyacetyiswa- Gcina iKhosi yam yoMtshato
Apha ngezantsi, makhe sixoxe ngezizathu ezithandathu zokuba kutheni kuninzi ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwimitshato namhlanje, kwaye kufuneka senze ntoni ukuyiguqula
1. Ukulandela imizekelo yabazali noomawokhulu bethu
Silandela imizekelo yabazali noomawokhulu bethu, ekusenokwenzeka ukuba bahlala kubudlelwane obungenampilo iminyaka engama-30, 40 okanye engama-50. Oku kwahlukile ke ukuba umama okanye utata wakho unengxaki notywala, iziyobisi, ukutshaya okanye ukutya onokuba likhoboka elifanayo eliqhuba ubomi bakho ngoku.
Phakathi kweminyaka yobudala be-zero kunye ne-18, ingqondo yethu engacacanga sisiponji kwindalo esingqongileyo.
Ke ukuba uyabona utata uyindlavini, umama unochuku, cinga ntoni? Xa utshata okanye ulwalamano olunzulu, musa ukumangaliswa xa iqabane lakho likugxeka ngokuba ngumntu oxhaphaza abanye, okanye onobundlobongela.
Uphinda nje into oyibonileyo ukhula, ayisosizathu sokwenza oko, yinyani nje.
2. Inzondo
Ingqumbo engasonjululwanga, ekusebenzeni kwam, lolunye uhlobo lokungasebenzi kakuhle emtshatweni namhlanje.
Inzondo engakhathalelwanga, inokujika ibe yimicimbi yeemvakalelo, ukuba likhoboka lomsebenzi, ukusebenza ngokungakhathali, kunye nemicimbi yomzimba ngokunjalo.
Iinzondo ezingasonjululwanga zityumza ubudlelwane. Itshabalalisa amathuba obuphi na ubudlelwane bokuchuma xa kukho ingqumbo engasonjululwanga.
3. Ukoyika ukusondelelana
Le inkulu. Kwiimfundiso zethu, ukusondelelana kulingana ne-100% yokunyaniseka.
Kunye nesithandwa sakho, umyeni wakho okanye umfazi, isoka okanye intombi yakho, enye yezinto ekufuneka yahlule ubudlelwane onabo nabo nokuba ngowona mhlobo wakho usenyongweni, kufanele ukuba ube semngciphekweni wokunyaniseka kwi-100% kubo ebomini ukusukela kusuku lokuqala.
Obo buhlobo obusulungekileyo. Xa usabelana neqabane lakho ngento onokuyaliwa, okanye ugxekwe ngayo, ubeka emngciphekweni yonke into, unyanisekile kwaye usengozini nto leyo kum kukusondelelana.
Kunyaka ophelileyo ndasebenza nesibini esasisebenza kakubi kakhulu. Umyeni wayengonwabanga kwasekuqaleni malunga nobudlelwane bakhe bezesondo kunye nenkosikazi yakhe. Umfazi wakhe akazange athande ukumanga. Wayefuna nje "ukuyigqiba ngo", ngenxa yamava athile awayenawo kubudlelwane bangaphambili ababengenampilo.
Kodwa kwasekuqaleni, akazange athethe nto. Wayenenzondo. Wayenganyanisekanga.
Wayefuna ubudlelwane obunzulu bokumanga, ngaphambi nangexesha lokwabelana ngesondo kwaye ngekhe abe nanto yakwenza nayo.
Ekusebenzeni kwethu kunye, wakwazi ukubonisa ngothando, into awayeyinqwenela kwaye wakwazi ukuyithetha ngothando, kutheni engonwabanga ukuba sesichengeni sokuncamisana.
Ukuzimisela kwabo ukuba semngciphekweni wokuvuleleka, ukuba sesichengeni kukhokelela kunyango olungakholelekiyo eluthandweni, into abangazange bayifumana kwiminyaka engama-20 betshatile.
4. Izakhono zonxibelelwano ezoyikekayo
Ngoku ngaphambi kokuba utsibe kwi-bandwagon "yonxibelelwano yiyo yonke into", jonga apho ikuluhlu khona. Yindlela esezantsi. Inombolo yesine.
Ndixelela abantu ngalo lonke ixesha abangena kwaye bandicele ukuba ndibafundise izakhono zonxibelelwano ngokungathi izokutshintsha ubudlelwane, ayisiyiyo.
Ndiyazi, iipesenti ezingama-90 zabacebisi oza kuthetha nabo baya kukuxelela ukuba konke malunga nezakhono zonxibelelwano, kwaye ndiza kukuxelela ukuba bonke baphosakele.
Ukuba awukhathaleli la manqaku mathathu angentla apha, andikuniki bhetyebhetye ukuba umhle kangakanani kunxibelelwano, awuzukuphilisa umtshato.
Ngoku kufanelekile ukufunda izakhono zonxibelelwano emgceni? Kanjalo! Kodwa kude kube ukhathalele la manqaku mathathu angasentla.
5. Ukuzithemba okuphantsi nokuzithemba okuphantsi
Owu Thixo wam, oku kuyakwenza lonke ubudlelwane, wonke umtshato ube ngumceli mngeni.
Ukuba awukwazi ukuva ukugxekwa kwamaqabane akho, andithethi ngokukhala kunye nokukhwaza, ndithetha ngokugxeka okwakhayo, ngaphandle kokuvala. Lowo ngumzekelo wokuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokuzithemba okuphantsi.
Ukuba awukwazi ukubuza iqabane lakho, ukuba unqwenela ntoni othandweni, kuba usoyika ukwaliwa, ukushiywa okanye ngaphezulu, olo luphawu lokuzithemba nokuzithemba okuphantsi.
Kwaye lowo "ngumsebenzi wakho. Kuya kufuneka usebenze ngokwakho ngengcali.
6. Wenze impazamo, watshata umntu ongafanelekanga?
Ngaba wakhe watshata umntu osebenzisa imali simahla, okuhlala kukugcina uxinzelelo lwezezimali, kwaye ubusazi kwasekuqaleni, kodwa wakukhanyela oko, kwaye ngoku uqhekekile?
Okanye mhlawumbi utshate umntu odla iimvakalelo, ukuba kule minyaka ili-15 idlulileyo ufumene iiponti ezingama-75, kodwa ubusazi ukuba batya ngokweemvakalelo ukuba ufuna ukunyaniseka nesiqu sakho ukusukela ngomhla wama-30 wokuthandana.
Okanye mhlawumbi ulikhoboka lotywala? Ekuqaleni, ubudlelwane obuninzi busekwe etywaleni, yindlela yokunciphisa unxunguphalo kunye nokwandisa izakhono zonxibelelwano nabanye abantu, kodwa ngaba uyivumele ukuba iqhubeke ixesha elide? Nantso ingxaki yakho.
Ngoku, senza ntoni malunga nale mingeni ingasentla, ukuba ufuna ukwenza ubudlelwane obuphilileyo kule yakho yangoku yokungasebenzi kakuhle?
Funa uncedo lweengcali
Qesha umcebisi oqeqeshiweyo okanye umqeqeshi wobomi ukuze abone ukuba uyalinganisa, uphinda indlela yokuziphatha kwabazali bakho kwaye awuyazi loo nto. Oku kunokuphazamiseka, kodwa kuya kufuneka ufumane umntu oza kukunceda.
Yibhale phantsi
Iinzondo ezingasonjululwanga?
Bhala ukuba yintoni. Cacisa gca. Ukuba ulicaphukela iqabane lakho kukushiya epatini, ungalindwanga kangangeeyure ezine, libhale phantsi.
Ukuba unenzondo echitha iqabane lakho kuyo yonke impelaveki ubukele ezemidlalo kumabonwakude, bhala phantsi. Yikhuphe entlokweni yakho nasephepheni, emva koko uphinde usebenze nengcali ukuze ufunde ukukhupha ingqumbo ngothando.
Funda ukuba ungaqala njani ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakho
Ukoyika ukusondelelana. Ukoyika ukunyaniseka. Le inkulu kakhulu.
Kuya kufuneka ufunde ukuba ungaqala njani ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakho ngendlela ethembekileyo.
Njengawo onke amanye amanyathelo, kuya kufuneka usebenze nengcali ukufumana indlela yokwenza eli xesha lide.
Qala ngokubuza imibuzo elungileyo
Izakhono zonxibelelwano ezingalunganga.
Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuqalisa ukuphucula izakhono zakho zonxibelelwano iqala ngokubuza imibuzo elungileyo.
Kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba ungalibuza njani iqabane lakho ukuba zithini iimfuno zabo, zithini izinto abangazithandiyo, zithini iimfuno zabo ukuze ubazi kwinqanaba elinzulu.
Ke, ngexesha loqhakamshelwano, ngakumbi ezo ziba nzima, sifuna ukusebenzisa isixhobo esibizwa ngokuba "kukuphulaphula ngokusebenzayo."
Oko kuthetha ukuba, xa unxibelelana neqabane lakho, kwaye ufuna ukuba ucace gca ukuba uyayiva kanye le nto bayithethayo, uphinda iingxelo abazenzayo ukuze uqiniseke ukuba ucace gca kubuchule bakho bokumamela, kwaye akuyicacisi into abayithethayo.
“Sthandwa sam, ke le ndiyivileyo uyithethayo yile, ukhathazekile kuba ndihlala ndikukhathaza rhoqo ngentsasa yangoMgqibelo ukusika ingca, xa ukhetha ukuyisika ngeCawa ngokuhlwa. Ngaba yile nto uyicaphukisayo?
Ngale ndlela, ufumana ithuba lokucaca gca nangokuphakama kumgama ofanayo neqabane lakho.
Fumana oyena nobangela wokuzithemba okuphantsi
Ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokuzithemba okuphantsi. Kulungile, oku akunanto yakwenza neqabane lakho konke konke. Akukho nto.
Kwakhona, fumana umcebisi okanye umqeqeshi wobomi onokukunceda ubone kwaye ufumane unobangela wokuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokuzithemba okuphantsi, kwaye ufumane amanyathelo amanyathelo kubo veki nganye ngendlela onokuthi uyiphucule ngayo.
Ayikho enye indlela. Oku akunanto yakwenza neqabane lakho, nguwe nje.
Yaphula inkohliso
Utshate umntu ongafanelekanga. Hayi, kwenzeka ngalo lonke ixesha. Kodwa ayilotyala labo, lityala lakho.
Njengomcebisi kunye nomqeqeshi wobomi, ndixelela bonke abathengi bam kwimitshato engasebenzi kakuhle, ukuba oko banako ngoku kwakubonakala ngokupheleleyo kwiintsuku zokuqala ezingama-90 zobudlelwane bokuthandana.
Abantu abaninzi ekuqaleni abavumelani, kodwa xa sisenza umsebenzi obhaliweyo wesikolo, bangena behlunguzela iintloko, bothuka bakufumanisa ukuba umntu abakunye naye ngoku akatshintshanga kangako kwasekuqaleni xa babethandana.
Kwiminyaka eliqela eyadlulayo ndandisebenza nomntu obhinqileyo, owayetshatile ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-40, wayenabantwana ababini nomyeni wakhe, kwaye xa umyeni wakhe waya ngasemva wayofumana indawo yokuhlala, ndaza ndaqala ukuhlala phaya ndisithi uya kudakumba phakathi kobomi. , wafumanisa ukuba uyathandana.
Linyikimisile ilizwe lakhe.
Wayecinga ukuba banomtshato ogqibeleleyo, kodwa yayiyinkohliso epheleleyo kuye.
Xa ndandiye ndibuyele kuye kwasekuqaleni kobudlelwane bokuthandana, ikwangulaa mntu wayeya kumthatha aye ethekweni, amshiye iiyure kunye neeyure yedwa, kwaye xa iphelile ipati aze eze amfumane kwaye mxelele lixesha lokugoduka.
Yayingulaa mntu wayezakushiya indlu ngo-4: 30 kusasa, amxelele ukuba kufuneka aye emsebenzini, uza kugoduka ngeyesithandathu kwaye alale ngo-8 ebusuku. Ungadibani naye konke konke.
Ngaba uyabona ukufana kwabo ukuqala kwabo ukuthandana? Wayengafumaneki ngokweemvakalelo, engafumaneki ngokwasemzimbeni kwaye ephinda indlela efanayo yokuziphatha ngendlela eyahlukileyo.
Emva kokusebenza kunye, apho ndamncedayo kuqhawulo mtshato, waphola kungaphelanga nonyaka okhawulezayo kakhulu, eqonda ukuba akatshintshanga kwasekuqaleni, ukuba utshatele indoda engeyiyo kuye.
Ukuba ufunda oku kungentla, kwaye ufuna ukunyaniseka kwisiqu sakho, ungayitshintsha indlela yakho yobudlelwane bakho bothando obungathandekiyo okanye umtshato, kwaye ngethemba lokuba uyayijika ngoncedo lweengcali.
Kodwa kukuwe.
Ungatyhola ukuba yonke into yimpazamo yeqabane lakho, okanye ungakhangela ngokunyanisekileyo koku kungasentla kwaye wenze isigqibo malunga notshintsho ekufuneka ulwenzile ukuze ngethemba ugcine ubudlelwane bakho ukuba kunokwenzeka ukugcina. Hambani ngoku