Umxholo
“Iintsapho ezonwabileyo ziyafana; lonke usapho olungonwabanga alonwabanga ngendlela yalo. ” Iqala ke inoveli yakudala kaLeo Tolstoy, UAnna Karenina. UTolstoy khange acacise ngendlela ezonwabileyo iintsapho ezifanayo, ke ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndimenzele njalo, ngokusekwe kuphando lwam njenge-psychoanalyst.
Nazi ezinye zeempawu zam ezintlanu ezonwabisayo izibini ezabelana ngazo. Ngokucacileyo, ukuze babe nezi mpawu, omabini amalungu esibini kufuneka abe sempilweni ngokweemvakalelo.
1. Kulungile cujongano
Izibini ezonwabileyo ziyathetha. Bathetha iimvakalelo zabo endaweni yokuzenza. Abaxoki, abazibambi, bayakhohlisa, bayatyholana, bayabethana, bayagxothana, bathetha omnye nomnye ngasemva kwabo, bayathobelana, banikezelana ukungathethi, uhambo lokuziva benetyala, ukulibala isikhumbuzo sabo, ukungxolisana , Bizana ngamagama, badibanisane, okanye benze ezinye iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokwenza izinto ezenziwa zizibini ezingonwabanga.
Endaweni yoko, ukuba banengxaki bayathetha. Banentembeko esisiseko kunye nokuzibophelela okubavumela ukuba bazenze babe sesichengeni ngokwabelana ngeentlungu zabo kwaye besazi ukuba ezo ntlungu ziya kwamkelwa ngovelwano. Unxibelelwano lwezibini ezingonwabanga zenzelwe ukukhohlisa. Unxibelelwano lwezibini ezonwabileyo zijolise ekusombululeni ukungavisisani kunye nokubuyisela ukusondelelana nokusondelelana. Izibini ezonwabileyo azikhathalelanga ukuba ngubani olungileyo okanye ongalunganga, kuba bazithatha njengamalungu omnye, kwaye okubalulekileyo kubo kukuba ubudlelwane babo bulungile.
2. Ukuzibophelela
Izibini ezonwabileyo zizinikele omnye komnye. Ukuba batshatile, bazithathela nzulu izifungo zabo zomtshato kwaye bobabini bazibophelele ngokulinganayo omnye komnye ngaphandle kwe-ifs, buts, and howevers. Nokuba batshatile okanye abatshatanga, banokuzibophelela okuqinileyo okungasokuze kujongisiswe ngokunzulu. Kukuzibophelela okungagungqiyo okuzisa uzinzo kubudlelwane kwaye kunika amalungu omabini amandla okujongana namahla ndenyuka naluphi na ulwalamano oluza kuhamba.
Ukuzibophelela yiglue ebethe ulwalamano. Nokuba bubuphi ubunzima iqabane lakho elihamba nalo, ukhona. Akusayi kubakho zigwebo, kungabikho tyala, kungasoyikiswa ukushiya okanye uqhawulo-mtshato. Izinto ezinjalo azinakuphikiswa. Ukuzibophelela kukho njengesiseko esomeleleyo, esigcina ulwalamano lusendleleni.
3. Ukwamkelwa
Isibini esonwabileyo siyasamkela ukuba singobani. Akukho mntu ugqibeleleyo kwaye uninzi lwethu lukude kakhulu. Izibini ezonwabileyo zamkela ukungafezeki komnye nomnye kuba bayakwazi ukwamkela ukungafezeki kwabo. Esi sisitshixo: ukuze wamkele abanye ngale ndlela bakuyo, kufuneka ubenakho ukuzamkela ngale ndlela uyiyo. Yiyo loo nto ukuba iqabane lakho liba nexhala, lirhona, lithambe, lithetha kakhulu, lithetha kancinci, okanye lifuna isondo kakhulu, wamkela izinto ezinje nge-idiosyncrasies, hayi iimpazamo.
Izibini ezingonwabanga zicinga ukuba ziyazamkela ngendlela eziyiyo, kodwa zihlala zingavumi. Banokubona isibi esisesweni lomlingane wabo, kodwa hayi umqadi kwelabo. Kuba bephika iziphoso zabo, ngamanye amaxesha bazibonisa kumaqabane abo. Andindim obangela iingxaki, nguwe! ” Okukhona bephika ezabo iimpazamo, kokukhona benganyamezelani ziziphene zamaqabane abo. Abantu abatshatileyo abonwabileyo bayazazi iimpazamo zabo kwaye bayabaxolela; yiyo loo nto bexolela kwaye bezamkela iimpazamo zamaqabane abo. Oku kukhokelela kubudlelwane obuhloniphanayo.
4. Umnqweno
Izibini ezonwabileyo ziyathandana. Ulwalamano lwabo luyinto ebaluleke kakhulu ebomini babo. Inkanuko yesini yinto enokuza ihambe, kodwa ukuthanda omnye komnye kunye nolwalamano lwabo kuhlala kunjalo. Izibini ezininzi ziqala ngothando ngexesha lesigaba sasemva komtshato, kodwa olu hlobo lokuthanda luyehla kwindawo ethile apha endleleni. Uthando kunye nokuthandana omnye nomnye, njengokuthanda umdlalo, yinto enyamezelayo ngaphaya kwexesha lokutshata.
Umnqweno yinto enika ubudlelwane amandla ayo. Ukuzibophelela ngaphandle kokuthanda kukhokelela kubudlelwane obungenanto. Ukuzibophelela ngothando kwenza ubudlelwane obuzalisekileyo. Umnqweno ukhuthazwa lunxibelelwano olufanelekileyo. Xa isibini sabelana ngokunyanisekileyo kwaye sisombulula ukungavisisani, ukusondelelana kunye nokuthanda kuhlala kuhlala kuhlala kunjalo. Umnqweno ugcina ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo kwaye buphila.
5. Uthando
Ayitsho into yokuba isibini esonwabileyo sisibini esithandanayo. Oku akuthethi ukuba isibini siyathandana. Ukuwa eluthandweni kuhlala kuyinto engalunganga kwinto esempilweni. UShakespeare obizwa ngokuba luthando luhlobo lwenyanga. Kukulungelelanisa, ngokusekwe kwiimfuno zobuchwephesha, ezingenakuhlala. Uthando olusempilweni yinto eyenzeka ngokudibeneyo neempawu ezidweliswe apha ngasentla: unxibelelwano olululo, ukuzibophelela, ukwamkeleka kunye nokuthanda.
Amava ethu okuqala othando kubudlelwane bethu nomama wethu. Ukuthembela kunye nokukhuseleka asenza ukuba sive luthando. Uthando aludluliswa ngamazwi, kodwa ngezenzo. Kwangokunjalo, xa sisiva ukuthembana kunye nokukhuseleka kunye neqabane lethu ebomini ixesha elide, sifumana uthando olungapheliyo. Uthando olungapheliyo luthando olwenza ubomi bube nenjongo yokuphila.