Umxholo
- Kukuthini ukukopela okungafaniyo nokukopa okukodwa?
- Umzekelo omnye wokukopa uyaxoleka
- Zama ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho
- Kutheni le nto kufuneka ugqithise ukukopela ukuze ugcine ubudlelwane bakho?
Ubambe iqabane lakho likopela; wenzani ngoku? Ngaba ufumana uqhawulo-mtshato kwiqabane lakho ngokuwela umda okroliweyo wokuthenjwa? Ngaba uyahlukana neqabane lakho ngokwenza esona senzo sokungcatsha? Yintoni kanye le "ilungileyo" ekufuneka uyenzile xa iqabane lakho libanjwe likopela okanye linomntu othandana naye?
Ewe, konke oko kuxhomekeke kwizinto ezimbini: wena neqabane lakho. Ngokwenene. Akukho nto yimbi ifanele ukwenzeka kwisigqibo osenzayo malunga nekamva lakho njengesibini.
Masiqale ngawe. Inyathelo lakho lokuqala kukuzibuza imibuzo embalwa. Okokuqala, zibuze ukuba uyalithanda ngokunyanisekileyo iqabane lakho. Ngoku, kwangoko emva kokufumanisa ngesiqendu sokukopa, uya kudela yonke intshi yakhe. Ngapha koko, ukucinga ngothando yeyona nto iphambili engqondweni yakho. Kodwa emva koqhwithela lokuqala lomsindo, ndifuna ukuba uvavanye inqanaba lakho lothando.
Uthando endithetha ngalo luthando ozivileyo ngaphambili kwisiqendu sokukopela. Ukuba kukho inqanaba elibonakalayo lothando, nanku umbuzo wesibini ukuphendula: Ngaba eli lixesha lokuqala kunye nokuphela akwenzileyo? Lo ngumbuzo obalulekileyo kuba zimbini iintlobo zokukopela ekufuneka sixoxe ngazo: ukukopa ngokulandelelana kunye nokukopa okukodwa. Nokuba kukuziphatha okungamkelekanga, kodwa ayizizo zonke iziqendu zokukopela ekufuneka ziphele kuqhawulo mtshato. Ngapha koko, uninzi lwezibini azisindi kuphela emva kokungathembeki kodwa zikwabuyela kwimeko yomtshato njengesibini esomeleleyo nesizimisele ngakumbi.
Kukuthini ukukopela okungafaniyo nokukopa okukodwa?
Umkhohlisi olandelwayo ngumntu okukhohlisileyo ngaphezu kwesihlandlo esinye, kunye nabasetyhini abangaphezulu kwesinye. Awusoze uqhekeze ikhowudi yomkhohlisi. Olu hlobo lwendoda alunqabisekanga kangangokuba ukungcatshwa ngokulandelelana kweqabane lakho kumenza azive enexabiso. Olunye uloyiso lokukopela ngandlela thile lumenza azive ngathi uyindoda efanelekileyo nefunwayo. Abasetyhini abakhohliswe ngumkhohlisi we-serial kufuneka balumke kakhulu malunga nokuhlala nomntu okopela uthotho kuba amathuba okutshintsha kwehambo yakhe mancinci kakhulu.
Nangona kunjalo, kukho olunye uhlobo lomkhohlisi ekufuneka sixoxe ngalo. Ngumkhohlisi owayeqhathe ngaxesha lithile. Inokuba kukuma kobusuku obunye, kodwa ubukhulu becala, ukukopela kungumfazi omnye ngaphezulu kwexesha. Andiluthathi olu hlobo lokukopa njengokukhohlisa ngokulandelelana. Andilukhuthazi naluphi na uhlobo lokukhohlisa, kodwa asikwazi ukungcwaba iintloko zethu entlabathini kwaye sicinga ukuba konke ukukopela kuya kubangela uqhawulo-mtshato okanye ukwahlukana. Andikholelwa kwisaga esithi "Xa umntu ekhohlisa, soloko ungumkhohlisi." Udliwanondlebe kunye nophando lubonakalisile ukuba oku akuyonyani.
Uninzi lwamadoda endandenziwe udliwanondlebe nawo avumile ukuba ngaphambili babeqhathe ixesha elinye kumaqabane abo. Ndicinga ukuba kubalulekile ukubuza malunga nokuba kutheni bekhohlisile kwaye iimeko zabanye zokukhohlisa. Uninzi lwezi meko, babewathanda amaqabane abo. Ukunqongophala kokusondelelana ekhaya, kunye nothando olungabuyiswanga, kudlale indima efanayo ekungcatshweni. Ngamanye amaxesha, amadoda athile athathe isigqibo sexesha elinye sokuwela umgca wokuthenjwa emtshatweni.
Umzekelo omnye wokukopa uyaxoleka
Ndiyakucela ukuba ulumke kakhulu malunga nokushiya ubudlelwane bomntu okopela kube kanye. Ukuba ukukopa kwakhe kusisiganeko esinye ayisiyonto onokuthi uyixolele okanye uhlale nayo, iyaqondakala loo nto, kwaye kuya kufuneka wenze okulungeleyo. Nangona kunjalo, ungabamameli abahlobo bakho. Musa ukubamamela abantu osebenza nabo. Musa ukumamela usapho lwakho. Mamela intliziyo yakho, kwaye unike ulwalamano lwakho nethuba lokunyanga kwaye usebenze ngokwaphula kwakhe umthetho. Ukuba yayisisiganeko esinye sokukopela, kwaye omabini la maqela afuna ukugcina ubudlelwane, kufanelekile ukulwelwa.
Zama ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho
Ukuba uzama ukusebenza ngomnyhadala wokukopela kunye nawe bobabini bafuna ubudlelwane bakho ukuze uphile kwaye uphilise, ukufunda ukuyeka kubalulekile. Andikucebisi ukuba utshangatshangise i-wand kwaye ucime ubuhlungu kunye nomsindo kwingqondo yakho. Asizizo iirobhothi, kwaye ke, iimvakalelo zentlungu kunye nokungcatshiswa ziluhlaza kwaye ziyinyani kwaye kufuneka zamkelwe. Thatha ixesha olifunayo. Ukuba ufuna ukuhlala kunye, uxolelo kufuneka lwenzeke. Ayizukwenzeka ngobusuku obunye, kwaye kuyakuthatha inzame enkulu kubo bobabini amaqabane ukuyibeka kwixesha elidlulileyo kunye nokwenza utshintsho olufanelekileyo lokukhula njengesibini.
Kutheni le nto kufuneka ugqithise ukukopela ukuze ugcine ubudlelwane bakho?
Ngokusekwe kudliwanondlebe endinalo, amadoda abenayo inkohliso yexesha elinye eyadlulayo athi ukungabikho kokwenza umcimbi uqhubeke kwixesha elidlulileyo koko kuphelise ubudlelwane ngokugqibeleleyo. Kwakhona, nguwe kuphela onokumisela ukuba ukukopa yinto onokuyixolela kwaye ekugqibeleni uyibeke kwixesha elidlulileyo.
Ukuba emva kokungathembeki ungathanda ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho kwaye uqhubele phambili, kubalulekile ukuba umnike ithuba lokubonisa ukuzinikela kwakhe kuwe kwaye uphinde ubathembe. Umnyango "onomsitho" ukuwo ngasemva wena, vala utshixe. Ukuba omabini la maqela azibophelele ekwakheni ubuhlakani kwakhona, kugxilwe kuphela kumnyango ovulekileyo ngaphakathi ngaphambili yakho kunye nekamva lakho lokuhluma lokuthembela nothando ukuzakha kwakhona.