Umxholo
Ngenxa yokuba inkcubeko edumileyo iwabonisa amadoda, umntu unokuzibuza ukuba kutheni abanye abantu besenokungafuni ukulala ngesondo. Nangona kunjalo, oku akuqhelekanga, akunjalo. Zininzi izizathu zoku kwehla komnqweno wesini kumadoda atshatileyo kwaye zinzima kwaye ziyahambelana. Ezinye zinxulumene nobudlelwane, kwaye ezinye azinjalo. Kwaye zonke zinesisombululo esahluke kancinane, esibalulekileyo ukuze siziqonde. Makhe siye ngaphaya kwezona zizathu ziphambili zokuba kutheni le nto inokuba njalo emtshatweni wakho.
1. Ukuphulukana nomtsalane
Masikhuphe enkulu enkulu kuqala. Uninzi lwabasetyhini, xa abayeni babo bengafuni ukulala nabo kwakhona, tsibela kwisigqibo sokuba abasathandeki. Nangona, njengoko siza kuxoxa kancinci, oku kunokuba kwaye kuhlala kunezinye izizathu, oku kukwayinto efanelekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, musa ukuwela kwithemba ngoko nangoko, njengoko kukho nezisombululo kule ngxaki.
Nangona amanye amadoda, ngokufanayo nabafazi abathile, ene-asexual kwaye njengamava anjalo abalulekileyo okanye angabonakalisi mdla kwaphela kwisini, amathuba okuba umyeni wakho engenguye. Ukuba wayehlala elala nawe, mhlawumbi akunjalo ngoku. Ke, kutshintshe ntoni?
Ngelishwa, amadoda kunzima ukuba atshintshe amaqabane ukuze andise amathuba okudlulisa imfuza yabo. Esona sizathu sokuba aphulukane nomnqweno kuwe.
Nangona kunjalo, ngendlela efanayo yokuba umnqweno wakhe wehlile, unokuphinda ulawulwe kwakhona. Emtshatweni, inkanuko yesini yinto enzima. Yindibaniselwano yendlela esebenza ngayo isibini esikwinqanaba ngalinye, somtsalane womzimba ococekileyo, nokuba ingakanani na imizamo eyenziwayo ekugcineni inkanuko kulwalamano. Jonga ukuba zeziphi kwezi zinto ezinokuthi zibeke emngciphekweni umnqweno wakho kuwe kwaye ufumane iindlela zokusebenza kuwo.
2. Ukuthandana
Esinye isizathu esikhulu sokuba amadoda angafuni ukwabelana ngesondo luloyiko olukhulu lwabasetyhini, kukuba umyeni wakhe akafuni ukulala naye ngenxa yokuba ehluthi- nomnye umntu.
Nangona ukungathembeki kuyisibetho esikhulu kunye nomothuko kubo bonke ubudlelwane kunye nomntu okhohlisiweyo, konke akuphelanga.
Ewe, ngamanye amaxesha amadoda aqala ukutshintsha indlela yokuziphatha kwabo ngokwesondo kubafazi babo ngaphandle kwesizathu. Ewe ngamanye amaxesha oku kufanelekile ngenxa yokuba ethandana.
Ukuchacha kumtshato yenye yezona meko zinzima oya kuze uqhubeke nazo. Nangona kunjalo, kunokwenzeka. Kuya kufuneka usebenze ekuxoleleni, ekwakheni ukuthembana kwakhona, ekujonganeni nezizathu ezikhokelele ekubeni afune inkampani yomnye umfazi (okanye abasetyhini). Kwaye, kubalulekile, kuyakufuneka ufumane indlela yakho yokubuyela omnye komnye ngokwesondo.
Uphando lubonakalisile ukuba abasetyhini, benikwa umahluko kwindaleko, bakufumanisa kulula ukuxolela ukungathembeki ngokwesondo. Baphinde bathathe isigqibo rhoqo ukuba bangabuqhawuli ubudlelwane. Ke, ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuqhubeka nomtshato wakho, licebo elihle ukubona ugqirha owaziyo ukuba angakunceda njani woyise zonke iingxaki, ukungazithembi, iingcinga ezingalawulekiyo, nayo yonke enye into ethi qatha engqondweni yakho kwaye ikuthintele nina nobabini ekubuyiseleni ubomi besondo.
3. Ukungazithembi
Abasetyhini abaninzi abayeni babo bayayeka ukubonisa umdla wokulala nabo baxela ukuba kukho imiqondiso endleleni. Mhlawumbi babengengabo abesondo ukusuka ekuhambeni. Okanye babebonakala bengakhuselekanga kakhulu nakowona mqondiso mncinci wokungavisisani nentombi yabo. Ngelishwa, olu hlobo loxinzelelo lokusebenza luthanda ukwanda kunye nexesha ukuba alusondelwanga ngokufanelekileyo.
Amadoda aphethwe sisigwebo (esihlala sixhaswa kukuziphatha kwabafazi) ukuba isazisi kunye nexabiso labo ziboniswa ekusebenzeni kwabo ngokwesondo.
Oku, kuyaqondakala, kunokubangela iingxaki ezininzi kwigumbi lokulala. Njengendlela yokuhlangabezana nayo, amanye amadoda akhethe nje ukuyiphepha kwaphela imeko evusa ixhala. Ukungaqondi kakuhle imeko kunye nokuphendula komfazi kuphela kwenza izinto zibe nzima ngakumbi, ke ukufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokujongana nesi sizathu somtshato ongabelani ngesondo.
4. Inkanuko emsulwa engafumani mpendulo
Kwelinye icala elichaseneyo lezinto yimeko xa amadoda esenza iminqweno yesini, kodwa awahambelani neqabane lawo. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane babo mhlawumbi bobabini babekwinqanaba lenkanuko. Ngokukodwa, amadoda amaninzi ngamanye amaxesha afuna nje ukutsiba ngokuqhekeka kwisini sasendle ngaphandle kwenkanuko enyulu.
Xa abafazi bengasiphindisi isidingo sokulala ngesondo, oku kunokuba sesinye sezizathu zokuba kutheni ungafuni ukulala ngesondo.
Kwaye uninzi lwabasetyhini alunikezelwanga kuloo nto, ngakumbi emva kweminyaka yomtshato kunye nemisebenzi emininzi yemihla ngemihla kunye noxinzelelo. Ukulungisa le ngxaki, kunye nokuthintela uninzi oluninzi oluvela kukukhathazeka ngokwesondo (njengokuthintela isini, ukuqala), zama ukuthetha ngeemfuno zakho elubala. Xoxani ngento eninokuyenza kunye njengesibini, kwaye njengabantu ngabanye kubudlelwane, ukwenza izinto zibe mnandi ngakumbi nobabini.