Umxholo
- 1. Misela imbeko phakathi kwakho nomntwana
- 2. Yiba ngumhlobo wabo
- 3. Gcina inkqubo yesiqhelo phakathi kwakho nomntwana
- 4. Qaphela, abantwana baya kuzama ukukuvavanya
- Igama lokugqibela kwimiceli mngeni yokuba ngumzali kwinyathelo
Ukuba ngumzali womzali wesibini ngokwendalo kuza nemiceli mngeni kodwa xa uyenzile ngokufanelekileyo, kungonelisa kakhulu.
Kodwa ulungiselela njani uxanduva oluzayo lokuba ngumzali wesibini?
Imeko yenyathelo losapho ayiqhelekanga.
Isakhiwo santlandlolo sosapho somama onamathelayo, utata nomntwana ngoku sithatha indawo yezinye iindidi zosapho, kubandakanya neentsapho zomtshato wesibini. Amanani eentsapho zosapho ayamangalisa.
Udibene nothando lobomi bakho. Wonwabile. Ngaphezulu kwenyanga.
Bafezekile.
Kodwa ngaphakathi, ukongeza kuthando, uziva iimvakalelo ezintle kakhulu.
Umtshato sisivumelwano sephakheji kwaye uba ngumzali womzali. Ukuba ngumzali wesibini yintsimi ongayichazanga.
Ngelixa le inokuba sisaphuli-mthetho kwabanye, uyazi into entle xa uyibona kodwa ungayenza le nto? Okwangoku, uqala ukukhangela iingcebiso zabazali eziluncedo.
Ke leliphi elona nyathelo libaluleke kakhulu kubazali? Njengomama wentombi yebhonasi kunye nentombi yebhayiloji, ndilapha ukukuxelela ukuba ungayikhupha.
Ndinyanisekile nangona.
Umzali okhulisa inyathelo unokuba yinto eyoyikisayo kwaye, ungasathethi ke, awkward.
Wongeza umntu omtsha, omncinci kusapho lwakho kwaye uqala ukuzibuza ukuba loluphi uhlobo lwempembelelo oya kuba nalo kulongezo lwakho olutsha.
Uthathe isigqibo sokutshata nomntu obandakanyekayo kubomi babantwana bakhe.
Oku kuthetha ukuba uyakukunceda ekukhuliseni umntwana kwaye ubonelele ngozinzo.
Ukuba unengxaki malunga nento oza kuyenza ngokulandelayo, funda ngokulula ukulandela amanyathelo engcebiso yabazali kunye neengcebiso ezisebenzayo zokuba ngumzali.
Indlela yokuba ngumzali wesibini olungileyo
1. Misela imbeko phakathi kwakho nomntwana
Ndithi umntwana, kodwa le nto inokusetyenziswa kubantwana abaninzi.
Imiqathango yentlonipho kufuneka, ekuqaleni, ibekwe ngumzali wokuzalwa.
Ngaphambi kokuba nditshate umyeni wam, ndiyakhumbula ukuba waxelela intombi yakhe wathi: “Uyabona la mfazi, ulapha? Kufuneka umhlonele. Andifuni ukuva ungamhloniphi. ”
Uyitshilo le nto kuye amaxesha amaninzi phambi kwam kude kube namhla, kwiminyaka emi-4 kamva, usamkhumbuza.
Kodwa nali inyathelo eliphambili kwingcebiso yomzali.
Njengomzali wesibini, ukwanyanzelekile ukuba unike imbeko emntwaneni.
Ayisiyondlela eyahlukileyo. Indawo yabo, usapho lwabo olukhethekileyo olunamandla, kunye neemvakalelo zabo zibalulekile; ungaze ubenze bazive ngenye indlela.
2. Yiba ngumhlobo wabo
Nje ukuba intlonipho iqondwe, emva koko kuza ubuhlobo.
Ewe uqeqesho lubalulekile kodwa njengoko ufunda eyona ndlela ingcono yokuqeqesha (ngokubukela umzali wendalo kwaye ufunde ngakumbi ngomntwana), uncume, uhleke, kwaye udlale nabo.
Musa ukuba ngumzali othembekileyo.
Leyo yingcebiso yomzali oza kukunceda ukuba ungene kubudlelwane bakho nomntwana wakho wesibini.
Kuya kuthatha umsebenzi kodwa uzame ngako konke ukunxibelelana nomntwana. Ukuya kuthi ga kuqeqesho, thetha neqabane lakho elizayo malunga nemida kunye nezinto enizonwabisayo nobabini.
Andisoze ndilibale ngorhatya endandiludlala kwaye ndonwaba kunye nentombi yam xa ndandiye ndayibetha (ngempazamo).
Ndiye ndamthuthuzela ndathi uxolo njengokuba elila.
Ukufika kukayise ekhaya, wabuza ukuba kwenzeke ntoni. Uye wathi, "Besidlala, kwaye ngengozi undibethile." Ndiphefumlele ngaphandle.
Andazi ukuba kwakutheni ukuze ndilindele ukuba andibonise njengomama wesibini okhohlakeleyo njengoko ndandilungiselela ukuzithethelela. Undikhusele njengomhlobo.
3. Gcina inkqubo yesiqhelo phakathi kwakho nomntwana
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ibekhona yonke imihla kodwa kufanele kubekho into abanokukuchonga ngayo, njengokuya epakini, ukuba nepati zeti, okanye ukukhwela ibhayisekile ngorhatya.
Ndifundela intombi yam yesibini ebusuku kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ndibukela isitishi sakhe asithandayo sikaYouTube kunye naye.
Uyayithanda loo nto kuba kuphakathi kwam naye. Emehlweni akhe, ndizuze indawo entliziyweni yakhe.
4. Qaphela, abantwana baya kuzama ukukuvavanya
Elinye icebo eliluncedo labazali. Ubuzali benyathelo ayisiba yintliziyo etyhafileyo.
Nyamezela ezo ntlungu zikhulayo. Ungalindeli ukuba izinto ziya kuhlala ziipesika kunye nokhrimu.
Xa ndithatha umntwana wam wesibini ekhathaleni, bonke abantwana babekhwaza besithi “Umama wakho ukho!” Inene-ewe, ebeya kuphendula athi “ayingomama wam lo.” Kwaye nangona bendisazi ukuba kwaye ndingazami ukuthatha indawo kamama wakhe, ndothuswe yintlungu xa esitsho.
Kodwa ndazityhalela ecaleni ezo mvakalelo ukuze ndimnike uthando olumfaneleyo.
Ndamkele ngezandla ezishushu, ndiqonda ukuba usazama ukuziqonda ngokwakhe izinto kwaye unelungelo lokuchaza indlela ekufuneka eyenzile.
Ke isiqwenga seengcebiso zabazali akukho mntu ukuxelelayo. Zama ukungavumeli iimvakalelo zakho zikuthande xa umntwana evavanya ngaphakathi kwemida, ewe igunya lakho (abaya kuthi).
Jongana nemeko okhoyo kwaye uqhubeke nokwakha ubudlelwane.
Ubudlelwane bam nentombi yam yesibini buhle kakhulu namhlanje kuba ndizimisele entliziyweni yam ukuba ndibangoyena mntu ndingcono kuye.
Andisoze ndililibale icebiso likamama wakhe ongumzali, "mthande nje".
La mazwi asankenteza ezindlebeni zam xa mna nentombi yam yesibini sinobunzima.
Jonga kwakhona:
Igama lokugqibela kwimiceli mngeni yokuba ngumzali kwinyathelo
Ubuzali bomzali wesibini abuyi kugqibelela.
Kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha nangokungaguquguquki, umntwana uya kuqala ukukuthemba njengomzali.
Baya kuxhomekeka kuwe ukuba ubakhokele. Kuluvakalelo olukhulu olo.
Ngaba unokucinga ngomntu omthandayo njengomzali wesibini? Ngaba uzimisele ukutshata umntu onabantwana?
Emva koko, landela ezi ziqwenga zeengcebiso ezibalulekileyo zomzali kunye no-no-no ngokungqongqo oya kukunceda ukusombulula iimeko ezinamathelayo ezibandakanya inyathelo lokuba ngumzali.