Umxholo
Nangona izibini ezingatshatanga ngoku zinokuhlala ngokulandelelana ngaphandle kokuba abamelwane baphakamise ishiya, umntu wasetyhini unokufuna ukuhlala nendoda ngaphambi komtshato ukufumana ingcinga yendlela yabo yokuphila kunye nokujonga ukuba baziva bekhululekile na xa bekunye ngaphambi kokufika betyhalekile kwaye bazinza.
Ke yintoni ukubaluleka komtshato kumfazi?
Ukubaluleka komtshato kumfazi kukuba kuya kumkhusela kubomi obungathembekiyo nobunobungozi xa sele bekunye neqabane lakhe, oya kuthi ngokuqinisekileyo abe lapho kuye.
Ngokufana namadoda, abasetyhini bafuna ukhuseleko lweemvakalelo kunye nokhuseleko olunxulumene nemali; Nangona kunjalo, abasetyhini bayanda ngokuzimela ngokwezezimali kule mihla.
Oku akunakuba yinyani kubo bonke, kwaye ke kungathathwa njengelungelo lomtshato kubafazi.
Abafazi zizidalwa zomoya; Bafuna kuphela umntu omnye oya kuba nabo kuwo onke amaxesha amnandi nabuhlungu ebomini babo.
Iimovie zethu esizithandayo zisaphela ngomtshato. Yiyo loo nto be-pine yomtshato kunye nokunxulumana nehlombe nendoda.
Kumanenekazi, umtshato awusiso isibambiso sendoda, kodwa ngokubanzi, isityhilelo sokudumisa. Ukuthetha izifungo nokwamkela indoda "njengendoda yayo" ebandakanya usapho kunye namaqabane ayo, kwimicimbi yabucala yile nto intombazana nganye inqwenela ukuba nayo.
Kwimeko apho uthathela ingqalelo umbono wabasetyhini, unokuqonda ukuba kunempilo entle ukuba amanenekazi aqwalasele izibonelelo zokutshata.
Kukho izizathu ezininzi ezichaza ukubaluleka komtshato womfazi. Jonga ezi zizathu ziphambili zilandelayo zokuba kutheni umtshato ubalulekile emfazini.
1. Ukuzibophelela
Ukuzibophelela yenye yeendlela eziphambili zokuxhamla umtshato. Ukuzibophelela emtshatweni okanye kubudlelwane kukuthanda kwethu ukuhlala kunye. Lonke ubudlelwane budinga inqanaba elithile lokuzinikela.
Ukuzibophelela kukuzibophelela kusapho okanye kubahlobo akufani nokuzibophelela kwiqabane lakho okanye kwiqabane lakho. Njengomthetho, ubudlelwane emtshatweni okanye kwezothando bufuna uxanduva ngaphezulu kobuhlobo.
Ukuzibophelela luhlobo lwesivumelwano esingagungqiyo esamkelwa ngaba bantu babini. Ukumakisha "njengamaqabane", "isibini", okanye "utshatile" yeyona nto itywina isivumelwano.
Umcimbi kukuba izibonelelo ezithile zesi sivumelwano azisoloko ziboniswa ngokucacileyo. Isivumelwano siya kuthi, ngokubanzi, sibe sisiboniso solindelo ekufuneka iqabane ngalinye lizalisekise ngokuzithandela.
Ukuzibophelela kuzisa ukhuseleko kunye nolawulo kubudlelwane. Kwinqanaba lokuzibophelela kwakho, uzisa imeko yelungelo ebomini bakho. Oku kuyakukhuthaza ukuba ubone kwangaphambili ukuba zeziphi iimeko ezinokuvela kunye nendlela yokwenza ngokufanelekileyo.
Ukuba nolawulo oluthile kunye nokuziva ukhuselekile xa ubona umntu uluncedo ngeendlela ezininzi. Umzekelo, ukukhulisa abantwana kulula kwaye kulula xa isibini sigxile komnye komnye.
Ukuzibophelela emtshatweni kunika ubungakanani bokhuseleko, iphedi, ekunika amandla okuphuma kwilungu; ngethuba lokuba elinye okanye omabini amaqabane anawo onke amandla engqondo atyalwe naphi na kodwa apha, ubudlelwane abunakuze bonelise njengoko befuna ukuba njalo.
2. Impembelelo yosapho
Kukho, kwimeko nganye, umlinganiso othile wempembelelo kwezentlalo oxela kwangaphambili ukubaluleka komtshato womfazi. Kusekho abantu abambalwa kwindawo kawonkewonke abathembayo ukuba umfazi omncinci kufanele ukuba afumane iminyaka engamashumi amathathu.
Abafazi abancinci abangatshatanga abanamaqabane akhe atshatileyo baziva benoxinzelelo ngakumbi kunokuba kunokwenzeka umntu ongatshatanga.
Kukho u-anti okanye umalume othembekileyo ongxolayo ukuba kudlule njani kwinqanaba lokuba kungabikho mbuyekezo kuye ukufumana umntu ohloniphekileyo. Izalamane ezimbalwa ngokufanayo zinokujika ikomityi kwaye zityhafise umntu wasetyhini ngokwenza uzinzo komdlalo nomntu othile.
Imitshato yabazala bomama ibonakalisa ukuba iyintuthumbo kumntu obhinqileyo kunokuba isebenze nje ekukhanyeni kwesitatimende esisisiseko esithi 'Kuya kufuneka ubambeke ngoku'.
3. Uthando
Isizathu esiphambili sokuba umtshato ubaluleke kumanenekazi luthando. Ewe uyifundile ngokuchanekileyo.
Uphononongo lwabantu abadala baseMelika olwenziwe ukuqinisekisa izizathu zomtshato kunye nokuhlalisana kwafumanisa ukuba kubantu abadala abatshatileyo okanye abahlala neqabane, iipesenti ezingama-90 zathi uthando sesona sizathu siphambili sokuba batshate.
Uthando yeyona nkcazo iphambili emva kwamanenekazi ukuba afakwe. Elona candelo liphezulu lamanenekazi anokukhetha ukungadluli kumava okunqula kwaye abe kubudlelwane bothando ngengqondo yolwaneliseko olunzulu.
Uthando lwendalo iphela kunye nomtsalane yenye yezizathu ezisisiseko zokuba kutheni amanenekazi efuna ukubanjwa. Kwinqanaba xa ubuzwa ukuba kutheni kufanelekile? Uninzi lwamanenekazi aphendula athi, 'kufuneka sinqule kwaye sithandwe.'
Kukho izizathu ezizigidi zokuba kutheni umntu obhinqileyo kufuneka afumane indawo kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba kutheni ezakufuna ukutshata nawe kuba ekuthanda. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba umntu atshate ukuze akwazi ukubonisa uthando.
Bukela kwakhona: Abantu abatshatileyo iminyaka eyi-0-65 bayaphendula: Wazi nini ukuba niyathandana?
4. Ithuku loomama
Abasetyhini banemvelo yokuzalwa komama.
Banezizathu zokutshata ngokukhawuleza kunokuba umntu ethanda. Ukuthathela ingqalelo ukuzala kuya kusiba yingxaki ngakumbi kwaye kube ngumceli mngeni kumfazi xa ekhula, ngakumbi emva kweminyaka engamashumi amathathu.
Uphando lucebise ukuba owasetyhini okhulelweyo ebudaleni angakhokelela kwiingxaki ezithile ezinje ngamathuba aphezulu okuphuphuma kwesisu, ukukhubazeka kokuzalwa, uxinzelelo lwegazi oluphezulu, isifo seswekile sokukhulelwa, kunye nomsebenzi onzima.
Ngaphandle koko, ayisiyonto ingathandekiyo ukuba umfazi abe nomntwana eneminyaka engamashumi amathathu anesihlanu okanye phantse amashumi amane. Kuyafana nokuba kunzima kakhulu ukukhulisa umntwana ngexesha lokukhula.
Ngaphezu koko, ngubani ongadingi usapho?
Ukwakhiwa kosapho kunye newotshi yoomama zezinye zezizathu eziphambili ezixela kwangaphambili ukubaluleka komtshato womfazi.