Umxholo
- 1. Iindlela zokunyanga ezitshatileyo ezijolise kwiimvakalelo
- 2. Unyango olulungileyo lwengqondo kwizibini ezitshatileyo
- 3. Indlela yeGottman
- 4. Umtshato osekelwe kwinkolo kunye neengcebiso kwizibini
- 5. Ukucebisa umntu ngamnye
- 6. Unyango olubalisayo
- 7. Unyango lobudlelwane be-Imago
- 8. Indlela yengqondo
- 9. Ingcebiso ngokuqonda
Xa usiva amagama athi "Ukucebisa izibini," okanye "izibini zonyango iindlela”Yintoni into efika kuqala engqondweni? Mhlawumbi ucinga ngesibini esingavisisaniyo, sihleli esofeni sincokola nomcebisi ngemitshato.
Oko kunokuba njalo kukucebisa ngomtshato, kodwa ubusazi ukuba kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo?
Eyona nto inye ekufuneka uyenzile xa ucinga ngokucebisa izibini kukufumana umcebisi olungileyo ngomtshato.
Umcebisi womtshato ngamnye wahlukile, uhlobo lwendlela yokucebisa yahlukile, kwaye umtshato ngamnye wahlukile, ke ukufumana umdlalo kubalulekile.
Umcebisi olungileyo emtshatweni uya kuba namava ekuncedeni abantu abatshatileyo kwimicimbi yabo, kwaye baya kwazi iindlela ezahlukeneyo okanye iindlela ezinokusetyenziswa ngokufanelekileyo.
Zininzi iindlela ezahlukeneyo zonyango / iindlela / iindlela zonyango. Ukufunda ngazo nganye kuzo kunokuba luncedo njengoko uhamba kunyango lwezibini.
Nazi ezinye iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zonyango lwezibini Iindidi zeendlela zokucebisa ngomtshato:
1. Iindlela zokunyanga ezitshatileyo ezijolise kwiimvakalelo
Obu buchule bonyango buqulunqwe nguGqirha Susan Johnson kunye noLes Greenberg. Njengoko igama libonisa, iimvakalelo zidlala indima ebalulekileyo apha.
Iyasebenza kwaye isetyenziswa kwihlabathi liphela. Kuyanceda ngakumbi ukuba ukudakumba yinxalenye yomba wobudlelwane.
Indlela isebenzisa ithiyori yokuncamathisela, okanye umbono wokuba njengabantu sifuna ukudityaniswa. Kodwa imiba inokuvela kwaye ijikeleze ibe kukungakhathali.
Olu hlobo lwe izibini zonyango Inceda abantu abatshatileyo ukuba boyise ezo mvakalelo zingathandekiyo kwaye bomeleze iqhina labo.
2. Unyango olulungileyo lwengqondo kwizibini ezitshatileyo
Kunye nomthambo weemvakalelo, obu buchwephesha bonyango bujolise kwiimvakalelo ezintle. Ngokwenene, kwabanye, lutshintsho olukhulu kumbono, olunokuthi emva koko lutshintshe iingcinga kunye nokuziphatha, olunokuthi emva koko luphucule ubudlelwane.
Kwisayikholoji elungileyo, ufunda ukonwaba njengoko kusenzeka kwaye ujonge kuvuyo ngalo mzuzu. Oku kunceda izibini ukuba ziqonde amaxesha onwabileyo anazo ngoku, kwaye emva koko banokwakhela kuloo.
Ukubhala kwijenali kunye nokwabelana ngayo nonyango yinto ebalulekileyo yale ndlela.
3. Indlela yeGottman
Kwiminyaka engama-30 emva kwayo, abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba izibonakalisile njengesixhobo esisebenzayo sokucebisa izibini. Ukuba wena neqabane lakho niziva nibambeke nyhani kwaye kubonakala ngathi anivumelani, le isenokuba yindlela elungileyo kulwalamano lwenu.
Olu buchule lonyango luyanceda qondanani njengawe thetha uzolile.
Isebenzisa into ebizwa ngokuba "yimephu zothando" eyinto oyakhayo. Kunceda ukuba nobabini nifunde malunga nabanye njengoko nifumana izinto ezibaxinzelela, zibenza bonwabe, njl.
Ngokubanzi, indlela kaGottman igxile kulawulo lwempixano, ngokunyaniseka entliziyweni yayo.
4. Umtshato osekelwe kwinkolo kunye neengcebiso kwizibini
Ukuba uyinxalenye yeqela lenkolo, jonga ukuba zeziphi iintlobo zeengcebiso ezikhoyo kwicawe yakho. Kuba inkolo yakho iyinto ebalulekileyo emtshatweni wakho, olu hlobo lweengcebiso lunokungqina luluncedo kuwe.
Unokuziva ukhululekile kolu hlobo lokuseta, olunokukunceda ukuseta inqanaba lokuphilisa.
Iindlela ziyahluka, kodwa unyango olusekwe kwinkolo kwizibini ezitsala umnxeba kwizinto zokomoya osele ukholelwa kwaye uhlala kuzo ukukunceda ukuba usebenze ngemicimbi.
5. Ukucebisa umntu ngamnye
Ukuba omnye wabatshatileyo akakwazi okanye uzimisele ukwenza unyango lwezibini, ke iqabane elizimiseleyo nelikwaziyo kufuneka liqwalasele ukuya kulo lodwa. Umgqirha unokunceda iqabane elinye lisebenze ngemicimbi ephela.
Ngokucacileyo, ukuba omnye umntu akazimiselanga ukuwusombulula umba, ubudlelwane abunakukwazi ukuqhubela phambili.
Nangona kunjalo, kwinkqubo yabanye yokuya kululeko lomntu ngamnye, ngamanye amaxesha elinye iqabane lifudumala kancinci kulo mbono kwaye kamva lijoyine amaqabane abo kunyango lwezibini.
6. Unyango olubalisayo
Ngokubalisayo kuthetha ibali, kwaye eneneni leyo yinxalenye yale ndlela yonyango lwezibini. Uya kulibalisa ibali kwaye wenze "ibali" lokwenzekayo. Kodwa emva koko, niyakusebenzisana ukubhala ezinye iindawo ezingathandekiyo ebalini.
Into emnandi ngale nto Unyango lwesibini Ngaba kuyanceda esi sibini ukuba sizihlukanise nebali, siqonda ukuba ibali alichazi njengabantu.
Ikwafundisa ukuba ibali liyatshintsha. Nobabini ninokulibhala ibali lenu kunye.
7. Unyango lobudlelwane be-Imago
Ephuhliswe nguHarville Hendrix noHelen Lakelly Hunt, olu hlobo lonyango lujolise kakhulu kwizinto zokomoya kunye nokuziphatha.
I-Imago ligama lesiLatini elithetha "umfanekiso," kwaye olu hlobo lonyango luzama ukunceda izibini ukuba ziqonde indlela iingqondo zabo ezisebenza ngayo kwaye babone iindlela zokuphila abazi nto.
Ngokusisiseko, le ndlela yonyango lwezibini ithi sikhetha amaqabane anokuphilisa okusilelayo ukusuka ebuntwaneni, kwaye loo manxeba aya kuphindwa kunye namaqabane ethu.
Kule ndlela yonyango lwezibini, izibini funda ukusebenza kunye kwaye unxibelelane ngemicimbi.
8. Indlela yengqondo
Olu hlobo lonyango luluncedo ngakumbi xa amaqabane esabela kwiipateni ezingenangqondo, ekukholelwa ukuba zizalwe ngeziganeko zobomi kunye namava ebuntwaneni.
Umzekelo, ukuba ukuxhatshazwa kwakuyinxalenye yexesha elidlulileyo lomntu, kunokukhokelela kumona nokuba akukho sizathu soko.
Kolu hlobo lonyango, umcebisi uya kukunceda ujolise kwingcambu yomcimbi, ngamanye amaxesha ongazi nto kwaye yingxaki yomntu okanye isibini.
Baya kuthi emva koko bakuncede uqonde umbono osengqiqweni weziganeko zangaphambili ezibumba isimilo sangoku.
9. Ingcebiso ngokuqonda
Iphuhliswe nguBill Doherty, kwiDyunivesithi yaseMinnesota, olu hlobo lweengcebiso ikakhulu kwizibini ezitshatileyo apho elinye iqabane lixhomekeke kuqhawulo mtshato kwaye elinye alikho.
Olu buchule lonyango lwezibini lubanceda ukuba babone ukuba umntu ngamnye ufuna ntoni, kwaye ukuba ubudlelwane bunokuhlanguleka. Endaweni yokusombulula imiba, ijonge ukuba ngaba ukusombulula kunokwenzeka. Yi Ngokwesiqhelo indlela yexesha elifutshane.
Unyango lomtshato lukhetho olufanelekileyo kwezi zibini zijonge ukulungisa ukungafani kwazo ngoncedo lomcebisi oqeqeshiweyo.
Zininzi iindlela zokwenza unyango kwizibini ezitshatileyo, iindlela, kwaye indlela iya kuxhomekeka kumcebisi womtshato nakwimicimbi eyenzeka kubudlelwane bababini.
Yiyo loo nto kusoloko kubalulekile ukuba ukhethe umcebisi olungileyo womtshato eniziva nikhululekile kwaye ninokumthemba.