Umxholo
- Kutheni kubalulekile ukuxolela?
- Uxolelo aluyonto yabo, yeyakho
- Ungalindeli nto ngembuyekezo
- Amandla oxolelo
Amandla oxolelo emtshatweni awakwazi ukujongelwa phantsi. Xa ubhalisela ubambiswano lobomi kunye nomntu, akunakuphepheka ukuba niya kugilana ngendlela engalunganga. Xa abantu ababini abangafezekanga bachitha iminyaka emininzi kunye, ezinye zeempikiswano ezingathandekiyo ziya kuza.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ukuxolelwa ayisiyonto inqabileyo onokuyisebenzisa kumzamo wokugcina umtshato wakho. Kufuneka ibe yinyani. Kufuneka ibe yinyani. Ifuna ukuba ingabi nazintambo ziqhotyoshelweyo. Xa ukuxolela kuyinto eqhelekileyo, uthando lwakho luya kuhlala lomelele kwaye uyakufumana ingqumbo kumlingane wakho. Okukhona uzimisele ukubeka uxolelo ngaphambili kwendlela osebenza ngayo, kokukhona umtshato wakho uya kuba ngcono ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Kutheni kubalulekile ukuxolela?
Masijongane nayo: wonke umntu wenza iimpazamo. Uza ku. Baza ku. Ukuba ungaqala ngokwamkela le nyaniso, isenzo soxolelo siyakuba lula kwaye silula. Ukuba uyazi ukuba ufuna inqanaba elifanayo lokuxolelwa ngokubuyisela, uya kukhawuleza ukuyiyeka ihambe xa iqabane lakho lityibilika.
Ukuba ubudlelwane okanye umtshato wakhiwe kwisiseko esingenandawo yokuxolela, ngekhe kubekho nto ininzi ongakha ngayo ukusuka apho. Ngayo yonke impazamo, kuya kubakho impikiswano. Ngengxoxo nganye, umba awuzukusombululwa. Ke loo ngxaki ubucinga ukuba uyidlulisile iya kuyibuyisela ngasemva xa ungayilindelanga.
Inokuba ngunyaka, iminyaka emi-5, okanye iminyaka eli-10 ezantsi emgceni kwaye intiyo eqhubekayo iya kuzibonakalisa ngomsindo, ukungathembeki, okanye ukunqunyulwa.
Yiyo le nto uxolelo lubaluleke kangaka. Ngaphandle kwayo, yonke ingxabano encinci kunye nokungavumelani emtshatweni wakho kuya kuqhubeka kuqhubeka ngaphantsi kobudlelwane bakho obubonakala buqhelekileyo. Iya kuba ngumcimbi wexesha kuphela ngaphambi kokuba umntu abethe imithambo-luvo ebangela ukuba umsindo ongasonjululwanga uqhume.
Ukubanakho ukuxolela kuyakuvumela ukuba uyibambe ingqumbo kulwalamano lwakho kwaye ukhule ngokungavisisani ngakunye, kunokuba uhlale ubambekile kuyo yonke into oyenzayo okanye impikiswano eye yakushiya ugcwele umsindo.
Uxolelo aluyonto yabo, yeyakho
Xolela abanye, hayi kuba befanele ukuxolelwa, kodwa ngenxa yokuba ufanelwe luxolo.
-UJonathan Lockwood Huie
Abantu abaninzi bayijonga imeko yokuxolela ngenye indlela kunokuba befuna sibonakale. Sicinga ukuba ngokuxolela umntu siyamyeka ayeke ikhonkco okanye ayiyeke iqhubeke ukugcina uxolo kubudlelwane. Ngokwenyani, isenzo sokuxolelwa siyinto yokuzicingela.
Ngalo lonke ixesha ubambe ingqumbo ngenxa yento eyenziwe ngomnye umntu kuwe-nokuba yindoda yakho, inkosikazi, okanye nawuphina umntu omgwebayo.wena Basenokuziva bengalunganga, kodwa wena njalo ndive kakubi. Ucinga ukuba igxalaba lakho elibandayo okanye amagqabantshintshi abanika isihogo esifanelekileyo, kodwa uzibeka esichengeni somlilo.
Ngokukhetha ukuxolela iqabane lakho, ubeka phantsi umthwalo oye wawenza ixesha elide. Ukhetha ukususa olo xinzelelo emagxeni akho kwaye uzikhulule emsebenzini.
Ngokuthi, "Ndikuxolele," uye uphume ngaphandle kwaloo ntukuthelo, umsindo, okanye ukungahloneli iqabane lakho, kwaye uvule indawo yengqondo ukuyihambisa. Ngokude ubambelele kuyo, i-crazier wena Ndiza kuziva. Ukuqonda ukuba uxolelo lolwakho kuya kwenza kube lula kuwe ukuqala inkqubo. Nje ukuba wazi ukuba ukhulula uxinzelelo ku eyakho kwihlabathi, uya kufumaneka lula ukuba nencoko.
Ungalindeli nto ngembuyekezo
Ukuba uthatha indlela ephezulu kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokulixolela iqabane lakho, kuya kufuneka wenze njalo ngaphandle kwentambo. Awunakho ukuyisebenzisa njengomdlalo wamandla ukufumana into njengembuyekezo. Ukuba ukhetha ukubaxolela, kuya kufuneka ulungele ukuyiyeka iqhubeke. Ukuba balibale isikhumbuzo sakho kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokubaxolela, awunakuyiphosa emva kwabo kwisikhumbuzo somhla olandelayo.
Ukuba bakukhohlisile kwaye ukhetha ukubaxolela kwaye usebenze kubudlelwane bakho, awunakudlala ikhadi elithi “undikhohlisile” nanini na ufuna ukufumana indlela yakho.
Ukuxolela okwenyani kuthetha ukuba uyayazi into eyenzekileyo kwaye ukhetha ukumthanda loo mntu ngaphandle kwezenzo zakhe. Inokuba yinto enkulu okanye into encinci, kodwa ukuba ukhetha ukuxolela, awunakuphinda uthethe loo mzuzu uphinda-phinda, uphume uhambo lokuziva unetyala "Uyakhumbula xa ndakuxolela ngenxa yento embi oyenzileyo?" nanini ufuna. Idlulile. Uyahamba uyigqitha. Okukhona uyisebenzisa njenge-ammo ngokuchasene nabo, ubuncinci kunokwenzeka ukuba ubabaxolele kwasekuqaleni.
Amandla oxolelo
Ngoku ngoku sixoxe ngokuba kutheni kubalulekile, ngubani oyena mntu ufumana inzuzo kwisenzo sokuxolelwa, kunye nendlela yokuxolela umntu, lixesha lokuba sifike kwincindi yenqaku: the amandla uxolelo lunokuzisa wena neqabane lakho. Xa wena neqabane lakho nikhetha ukuxolela kwaye nilungise iingxaki zenu ngendlela enovelwano, niyakhetha uthando. Yiloo nto umalunga nomtshato; ukhetha uthando yonke imihla, nokuba kunzima.
Usenokuba nomlo ombi kakhulu kangangokuba awunakuma ujonge iqabane lakho, kodwa uyabathanda ngakumbi kunemvakalelo yokuba nomsindo kubo. Unokungavumelani ngendlela yokuba ungafuni ukuva bethetha, kodwa uyazi ukuba uyabathanda ngaphezu kokuvumela impikiswano ukuba iphume ngaphandle kolawulo.
Xa ukhetha ukuxolela kwaye ususe ukungavisisani kwakho, uhlala ukhetha uthando. Imitshato yokugqibela yeyabo bahlala bebuya kwesizathu sokuba baqale kwasekuqaleni: uthando. Xolela ngokukhawuleza. Xolela rhoqo. Qhubeka ukhetha uthando rhoqo kangangoko unakho.