Umxholo
Incoko malunga nokwahlukana ngenene yenye malunga nomgama kubudlelwane; Zombini ngokubhekisele kumgama ngokwasemzimbeni nakumgama weemvakalelo. Ngeenjongo zeli nqaku, siza kube sixoxa ngokusetyenziswa kokuphambuka emzimbeni ngelixa sigcina ukusondela ngokweemvakalelo kumzamo wokufezekisa izibonelelo ngokubanzi kubudlelwane. Ke ngoko, isithende se-achilles kuko nakuphi na ukwahlulwa komgama ngokwasemzimbeni kukugcina, ukugcina kwaye ekugqibeleni kunyuse / ukuphucula ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo phakathi kwabantu ababini abazinikeleyo.
Umqolomba
Makhe nditsho ukuba umbono wokwahlula ngaphakathi komxholo ongentla ulungile. Inokuba isusela kwinkcazo yemveli yokuzahlula ukuya ekuphumeni ngokulula kwendlu embindini wempikiswano eshushu ukuba "uzipholise" ngokwakho. Ukuba nawuphina umtshato uza kuphumelela, kufuneka ubenakho ukusebenzisa ukwahlukana / umgama ngamaxesha afanelekileyo kanye nokusondelelana.
Isibini esikwaziyo ukusebenzisa umgama kubudlelwane babo siphuhlise isixhobo sangaphakathi sokunceda ixesha elide lomtshato wabo. Kwelinye icala, nangona kunjalo, isibini esingawunyamezeliyo umgama ngokwasemzimbeni ngamanye amaxesha sisoloko sibotshelelwe kwintshabalalo.
Esinye isiphelo soku kukwazi nokwazi ukuba leliphi elona xesha lifanelekileyo lokusebenzisa indlela yokuphambuka / ukwahlula ngokwasemzimbeni. Amasiko athile omtshato apho uMtshakazi noMyeni balala kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo ngobusuku bangaphambi komtshato kwaye ababonanga de kuqalise umsitho; ngumzekelo ogqibeleleyo walo mgaqo osebenzayo. Ukubuyela umva ngokwakho ngaphambi kokuzibandakanya kunokuba sesinye sezona ziganeko zitshintsha ubomi kwindawo yomntu. Oku kuyimfuneko kwaye kuyinzuzo kwinkqubo yomtshato kunye nomtshato ngokubanzi. Ngeli xesha ukubonakalisa, ukucamngca okunzulu kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba kungekudala abo batshatayo benza isigqibo "esifanelekileyo" sisixhobo esibalulekileyo sokuqhubela phambili nokuzibophelela ubomi bonke.
Ngaphandle kwento yokuphambuka komzimba ukufezekisa ukusondelelana okukhulu ngokweemvakalelo njengoko kuchaziwe kwimihlathi engaphambili, lonke eli nqaku lijongana ngakumbi nengqondo yesiko lokwahlukana komtshato. Indlela olwahlulahlulo oluchazwe ngayo ilulwelo kodwa izinto ezimbalwa eziyimfuneko kufuneka zisekwe ukunceda ingxoxo yethu.
Ukwahlukana komtshato esijongana nawo apha kuhlala kubandakanya:
- Uhlobo oluthile lokuphambuka emzimbeni kunye
- Ixesha elimiselweyo nelivunyelweneyo eliza kunyamezelwa.
Ukuphambuka ngokwasemzimbeni kunokwenzeka ngeendlela ezininzi ezahlukeneyo ukusuka ekulaleni kwiibhedi ezahlukeneyo kunye nokuhlala kumacala ahlukeneyo endlu ukuya kwenye ukuya kwindawo eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo. Ixesha ekuvunyelwene ngalo linokusuka kwixesha lokulandelelana ukuya kolunye ulwelo "siyokwazi xa sifika apho".
Ukwahlukana kunokuba buhlungu kanjani
Isizathu sokuba ndifuna ukuqala ngengxaki yokwahlukana komtshato kukuba sisiphakamiso esibi kakhulu. Kufuneka isetyenziswe kuphela phantsi kweemeko ezibi kakhulu. Ezo ndiza kuxoxa ngazo kamva. Esona sizathu siphambili sokuba kuyingozi kungenxa yeemeko ezingaqhelekanga kunye noluvo olungelulo lwethemba olunokunika isibini esitshatileyo.
Ngumgaqo osusela koko sikufundileyo ngokubhekisele kubudlelwane obude. Zintle okoko nje isibini sigcina umgama ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nesiphumo somoya omnye komnye. Nangona kunjalo xa isithuba sihlanganisiwe ubudlelwane obunamandla bunokutshintsha kakhulu. Amaxesha amaninzi uninzi lwezi zinto azisindi okanye elinye / omabini amaqabane enza iindlela ezingalunganga zokugcina umgama uhlala uhleli. Ezo ndlela zinokuthabatha ekuthatheni umsebenzi obandakanya ishedyuli yokuhamba engenangqondo ukuya kumlutha kubudlelwane obungapheliyo bomtshato.
Ke ngoko esi sibini sibuya kukwahlukana okwethutyana sijamelene nemicimbi efanayo enokuthi isibini sivale isikhewu kubudlelwane obude. Nangona kunjalo, kule meko kuba ubunzima emtshatweni kwandulela ukwahlukana; Nje ukuba ubunyani beengxaki ezidlulileyo (kwaye ezinokubakho zintsha kuxhomekeke ekubeni ukwahlukana kube lide kangakanani), inokuphinda ishukumise esi sibini ukuba sibe yi-nihilism malunga nolwalamano. Imeko yamva nje kunzima ngakumbi ukuyifumana kunokuba isibini sisebenze kwimicimbi yaso ngelixa singafuni ukwahlukana.
Ukwahlukana komtshato kukwanomngcipheko osisiseko wemicimbi yomtshato eyongezelelweyo. Andinakukuxelela ngomonakalo endiwubonileyo obangelwe ngabantu kubo xa bejikeleza rhoqo ngaphakathi nangaphandle kobudlelwane obunamandla ngokweemvakalelo ngaphandle kwexesha eliphakathi. Eli xesha liyimfuneko ukuba umntu angagcini nje ukufumana ulwalamano lwangaphambili ngaphandle kwenkqubo yabo kodwa kunye nokulungisa nawuphi na umonakalo othe ulwalamano lubangele.
Ngokwethiyori, ukuchitha ixesha elithile ngokwakho kwaye ungathandani nabani na okanye ujonge ukubanakho kobudlelwane obutsha yeyona ndlela ingcono yokutshintsha ukusuka kolunye ubudlelwane uye kolulandelayo. Nangona kunjalo, ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo, umntu ophakathi uhlala engathathi xesha laneleyo phakathi kobudlelwane ukuzibuyisela kwinqanaba apho banalo naliphi na ishishini elijonga ithemba lobudlelwane obutsha.
Amaxesha amaninzi oku kubangelwa bubulolo. Ubulolo bunyanzelekile ukuba bukhulise intloko yayo embi ngohlobo oluthile okanye ngolunye okanye omabini amaqabane ahlukene. Ngenxa yokuzibophelela kwabo ekwahlukaneni kwaye uninzi lweemvakalelo ezingalunganga omnye komnye olukhokelele kuko; kunokwenzeka ukuba bafikelele kwintuthuzelo yomnye umntu ukuze basuse ubulolo abaziva. Ihlala iqala ngokufuna ukuba nomntu okhoyo ngokwasemzimbeni ngaphandle kwamaqabane abo ahlukene ngoku kodwa njengoko kunjalo kuninzi lwezi meko, kungekudala okanye kamva bayanamathela kulo mntu mtsha (omnye). Kwaye omnye umntu ngoku ungenile emtshatweni wabo. Esi sibini esiba lixhoba lale ngxaki sisekude kakhulu kunalowo "usinqandileyo" kwaye akazange azame ukungena kumhlaba odidekileyo wokwahlukana kwasekuqaleni. Esi sesinye isizathu sokuba ukwahlukana ngamanye amaxesha kungengombono mhle.
Ukwahlukana kunokuba luncedo njani
Ekuphela kwemeko endicinga ukuba ukwahlula kuluncedo kwaye mhlawumbi iyimfuneko kuxa kukho ingozi yomngcipheko. Ngoku umntu unokuzibuza; “Akufanelekanga ukuba umtshato upheliswe ukuba sele ufikelele kwinqanaba lobundlobongela?” Impendulo yam yeyokuba kukho umahluko ocacileyo phakathi kwemeko yokuxhatshazwa okungapheliyo kunye nengayingozi. Ngaphaya koko, isigqibo sokuba ngaba abantu babini kufuneka baqhubeke kunye sisebenza kuphela kumaqela achaphazelekayo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umthetho ugqibe kwelokuba abanakubakho phambi komnye ngenxa yomyalelo wezomthetho wokhuseleko ke leyo yimeko eyahluke kwaphela kwaphela. Ke ngoko, ukwaphula umthetho okungenasakhono kunye / okanye ubomi bokulimaza iimeko zokumelana; Ukwahlukana apho amandla obundlobongela akhoyo kuyacetyiswa kakhulu ukunceda ukuphelisa ubudlelwane obunobungozi.
Kwimeko enjalo, ukwahlukana kuyenzeka ngabona bantwana banomdla wokunciphisa okanye ukuphelisa ukubonwa kwabo kubundlobongela. Ngexesha lokwahlulwa kolu hlobo kubalulekile ukuba bobabini kunye / okanye iqela elinye bafune unyango lwempilo yengqondo. Asikuko ukwahlukana ngokwako okwenza ukuphilisa kodwa unyango ukongeza kokwahlukana.Umgaqo weholide / ukubuyela ngokomoya uyasebenza apha. Ngamanye amagama, ngamanye amaxesha, ukuze umntu andise ukuqonda kwakhe ngesiqu sakhe okanye ngobomi bakhe, ngamanye amaxesha kuye kufuneke ukuba azisuse kwindawo ahlala emi kuyo mihla le.
Kule meko ukutshintsha ngokwasemzimbeni ayisiyiyo kuphela indlela enokukhuthaza ukwanda kolwazi kodwa kwanomgama phakathi kwamaqabane kunye nokubaleka kwimikhwa yabo engathandekiyo. Nangona kunjalo, ngokungafaniyo nokubuyela ngokomoya kunye / okanye iholide, utshintsho lwendawo / umgama omnye komnye kukuhlala ixesha elingaphezulu kweveki okanye ezimbini. Ubuncinci bemfuno esemgangathweni yinyanga enye. Ukugqitha kuya kuba ziinyanga ezintandathu (umthetho uvumela). Ukumodareyitha kwaye ke okona kulungileyo kuya kuba ziinyanga ezintathu. Nangona kunjalo, oku kufuneka kucaciswe, ayingomlinganiso wexesha obaluleke kakhulu njengesixa sokukhula komntu siqu esifikelelweyo ngexesha lokwahlukana. Amava atshintsha ubomi okanye i-epiphany inamandla okutshintsha umntu ngephanyazo ngaphezulu kweminyaka yokufuna utshintsho olwenziweyo ngonyango oluqhelekileyo kunye / okanye neendlela zokuzinceda. Kukwanokwenzeka ngokuzahlula. Ukuba abantu abohluliweyo banamava obomi obutshintshayo oko kuqala ngaphambi kwexesha lokulandelelana.
Ukususa
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ngokusebenzisa amanqanaba ohlukeneyo emtshatweni, isibini sinokufezekisa impumelelo kunye nokuphila ixesha elide kubudlelwane babo.