Iindlela zokudiliza udonga lokwahlula phakathi kwakho kunye neqabane lakho

Umbhali: John Stephens
Umhla Wokudalwa: 28 Eyomqungu 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Iindlela zokudiliza udonga lokwahlula phakathi kwakho kunye neqabane lakho - I-Psychology
Iindlela zokudiliza udonga lokwahlula phakathi kwakho kunye neqabane lakho - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Ixhego lahlala ngaphandle kweendonga zesixeko esikhulu. Xa abahambi besondela, babedla ngokubuza ixhego, “Ngabantu abanjani abahlala kwesi sixeko?” Indoda endala yayiphendula ithi, “Baluhlobo luni lwabantu abahlala kuloo ndawo ubuvela kuyo?” Ukuba abahambi baphendula bathi, "Kuphela ngabantu abangalunganga abahlala kule ndawo besivela kuyo," indoda endala yayiphendula, "Qhubeka; Niza kufumana abantu abakhohlakeleyo apha. ”

Kodwa ukuba abahambi baphendula bathi, "Abantu abalungileyo bahlala kule ndawo besivela kuyo," indoda endala ibisithi, "Ngena, kuba nalapha, uya kufumana kuphela abantu abalungileyo." -I-Yiddish Folk Tale, umbhali ayaziwa

Le ntsomi indala isikhumbuza ukuba sinokukhetha ukujonga abantu kunye nobomi njengobulungileyo okanye obubi. Singabonakalisa abanye okanye sijonge ubuhle komnye nomnye. Indlela esilibona ngayo ihlabathi yinto esiya kuyifumana kuyo. Oku kuyinyani nakumtshato. Singakhetha ukubona iqabane lethu njengesipho okanye isiqalekiso. Singagxila kokungalunganga kwamaqabane ethu okanye sijonge kwizinto abazenzayo ezilungileyo. Ukuba siyazixelela ukuba sinomtshato olungileyo, siya kugxila kwinto esiyithandayo ngayo. Ukuba ucinga ngomtshato wethu njengongalunganga, ingqalelo yethu iya kuba kwimiba emibi kulwalamano lwethu.


Imitshato ayisoloko ilungile okanye imbi kuphela

Ndifuna ukuyenza icace into yokuba anditsho ukuba akukho mitshato imbi kulo mhlaba. Kukho abantu abafuna ukuphuma emtshatweni ngenxa yexabiso elingahambelaniyo, ukungathembeki, ukuxhatshazwa kunye nezinye izizathu. Anditsho ukuba imitshato ilungile okanye imbi kuphela. Kwabaninzi kuthi abatshatileyo, ubomi bethu bomtshato buquka ukuqonda iimpawu zokuhlenga kunye neempawu ezimbi zomlingane wethu okhethiweyo.

Uninzi lwethu mhlawumbi luyazi isibini esithandana nabo siphelile, kuba baqala ukugxila kwinto ebacaphukisayo malunga neqabane labo, endaweni yoko babathandayo. Xa siqinisekisa iqabane lethu ngokuqaphela ukuba ngoobani kunye nezinto abasinika zona, kwakha ukusondelelana kulwalamano. Xa sigxeka iqabane lethu, siqala ukwakha udonga phakathi komnye nomnye kwaye ukuba asilumkanga, udonga lunokuphakama kangangokuba singabonani. Kwaye xa siyeka ukubonana, akukho busondeleyo, ubomi okanye uvuyo emtshatweni wethu.


Ukwenza umzamo wokuvuma iinzame

Umyeni wam uye wagula kule veki enesifo segciwane kwaye ke ndaye ndathatha isuphu, amanzi e-electrolyte, i-ginger ale kunye nabaqhekezi evenkileni kuye. Ukufika kwam ekhaya ndinazo ezi zinto, nangona wayegula kabuhlungu, wandibulela kabini ngokuma ukuze ndimthathele ezi zinto. Ndayazi injongo yakhe yokubulela, hayi kanye, kodwa kabini. Ngaphandle kwento yokuba waziva embi, wenza iinzame zokundibulela kwaye namagama akhe alula andishiya ndiziva ndinombulelo kwaye ndidibene naye. Eli libali elilula, kodwa liyisikhumbuzo sokuba xa sibonana kwaye silixabisile iqabane lethu, linokwakha ubudlelwane emtshatweni wethu.

Qaphela into eziswa liqabane lakho etafileni

Ukuba sifuna umtshato wethu uhlale ixesha elide, kuya kufuneka sazise iqabane lethu ukuba siyayixabisa malunga nabo kwaye siyayiqonda into abeza nayo etafileni. Endaweni yokugxila koko umtshato ungasiniki kona, kubalulekile ukuba ubone izipho zemihla ngemihla iqabane lakho elisinika zona. Umzekelo, mhlawumbi sikhathazekile kukuhla kwesini kubudlelwane bethu. Oku kunzima kwaye kufuneka kujongwane nako, kodwa ukuze ube nobomi obuhle ngokwesondo kufuneka sithandane kwaye ke kubalulekile ukuba ujonge okwenziwa liqabane lakho kakuhle. Uya kuwunceda umtshato wethu, ukuba senza konke okusemandleni ethu ukuxelela esinye isiqingatha ngamazwi athethwayo nangamazwi, kanye le nto siyithandayo ngabo.


Ukuqinisekisa iqabane lethu yindlela esilukhulisa ngayo unxibelelwano, olunokubangela ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo nangokomzimba. Umzekelo, mhlawumbi iqabane lethu lingumzali omkhulu, uluncedo endlwini, ulumkile, umhlobo omangalisayo okanye umphulaphuli olungileyo. Ukuba sixelela iqabane lethu ukuba siyayixabisa ngabo, baya kuziva ngathi basondele kuthi kwaye siya kuziva sinxibelelene nabo.

Gcina unxibelelwano neqabane lakho

Ndikhuthaza ukuba sifumane iindawo zolonwabo kunye nokunxibelelana kubudlelwane bethu, ngokubona ukomelela emtshatweni wethu nokunxibelelana namaqabane ethu. Kodwa nangona ndicela ukuba sikubone okuhle kwiqabane lethu, akukho mfuneko yokuba sikhuphe imiphetho ekhulayo kubudlelwane bethu. Kubalulekile ukunyaniseka kwezinye zethu ezibalulekileyo ukuba sifuna ixesha elininzi kunye nabo okanye unxibelelwano olungakumbi lomzimba. Kodwa kufuneka silumke ukuba siyithetha njani le nto. Nanku umzekelo wendlela onokuthi ungathethi ngayo kunye nomntu omthandayo.

Ungathethi njani: Ubuye emva kwexesha kwakhona. Ndigqithile kumlutha wakho emsebenzini wakho. Uziphethe kakubi. Khange undifowunele undixelele ukuba uza kufika emva kwexesha. Awuwuxabisanga lomtshato kwaye awusenzi nexesha lethu.

Indlela yokunxibelelana: Bendinexhala xa ungafowunanga. Ndiyazi ukuba ubuzama kakhulu emsebenzini, kodwa ndiyalixabisa ixesha lethu kunye kwaye ndifuna ukuba unxibelelane nam xa uza kufika emva kwexesha. Ndikukhumbule mva nje kwaye ndifuna ukuba sizenzele ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye.

Luluphi unxibelelwano olungasentla oluza kukhuthaza unxibelelwano? Ngokucacileyo, ukuhlangana kwesibini yindlela evuthiweyo yokuphendula, xa iqabane lakho likuyekile. Kodwa sonke sinetyala lokusebenzisa iingxelo zakho xa siziva siphoxwe liqabane lethu. Xa siqala ukugxeka umntu esimthandayo kwaye sisebenzise wena-iingxelo, sibeka iqabane lethu ekuzikhuseleni, kwaye kunokubangela ukuba bavale kwaye bangasiva. Iingxelo ze-I ziyasinyanzela ukuba sinoxanduva kwiimvakalelo zethu kwaye simeme iqabane lethu ukuba liqonde ukuba sifuna ntoni kubo kwaye kutheni sibuhlungu.

Funda ukungabeki tyala kangako

Thatha okomzuzwana ukuqaphela ukuba ngaba ubuhlazisa iqabane lakho mva nje. Ukufumana okuhle kumaqabane ethu kwaye sichaze ukuphoxeka kwethu ngeendlela ezingenatyala, kunokusinceda njani ukuba sifumane ubudlelwane obuqinisekisa ubomi? Ukuba sakhe udonga phakathi kwethu kunye neqabane lethu, ndiyakholelwa ukuba ukuncoma amaqabane ethu, sithi enkosi, kwaye sisebenzisa ulwimi oluqinisekileyo ukubonisa iimfuno zethu, kungasinceda kakuhle, njengoko sifuna ukudiliza udonga olwahlulayo. Xa lo mqobo uphantsi, siya kuba nakho ukubonana kwaye emva koko siyifumane indlela yethu yokubuyela kuthantamiso nolonwabo emtshatweni wethu.