Umxholo
- 1. Zama ukwamkela
- 2. Qiniseka
- 3. Thetha ngokuphandle nangokunyanisekileyo
- 4. Bonisa uthando
- 5. Ukuhlekisa umntu yeyona nto ndiyithandayo
Abantu abaninzi bathetha ngendlela yokuba nobudlelwane obusempilweni. Ukuqala enye kunokuba lula, kodwa ukuyigcina kunzima. Sonke sinokuba nengqondo ethile xa sizama kungekuphela nje ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zethu kodwa kunye nokukholisa omnye ekwenzeni ubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli.
Ungandixelela ukuba kutheni le nzame isilela nje ukubanjwa?
Ndiqinisekile ukuba zininzi iimpendulo kulo mbuzo, kodwa nazi iindlela ezithile zokugcina okanye ukuphucula into osebenze nzima ukuyifumana:
1. Zama ukwamkela
Gcina ukhumbule ukuba sonke singabantu abahlukeneyo.
I-DNA yethu ayizukutshintsha, kwaye ayinawo amava avela kubomi bethu bokuqala. Kubalulekile ukuba ubone okunye okubalulekileyo njengoko enjalo.
Kuphephe ukuzama ukutshintsha iimpawu zabo ezibalulekileyo ukuze zilungele wena. Anditsho ukuba uhlengahlengiso alunakwenziwa. Ewe izinto ezithile zokuziphatha komntu zinokutshintsha kancinane. Itikiti kukwazi ukuba kunokwenzeka ntoni kwaye akunakwenzeka.
Khetha amadabi akho, kwaye ukulungele ukuqaphela ukuba ukhetho lwakho alunakuba yinxalenye yomthetho othile kwindalo iphela.
Ukuba umntu uqhelile ukushiya iimpahla ezimdaka kwigumbi lokuhlambela, yenza uyilo kwaye uze neendlela zokunceda ukutshintsha ezo zinto zinamandla. Khumbula, utshintsho olungapheliyo lufuna umonde. Ukuphindaphinda kunokufuneka de kube kwenziwe utshintsho.
Ukuba le mpazamo ayikukhathazi xa useluhambeni okanye xa usiya kwiholide yakho, kutheni kuyinto enkulu ngoku?
2. Qiniseka
Sonke sifuna ukudunyiswa. Ukuqeqesha inja yam kwakungumceli mngeni, njengoko ndandizimisele ukumenza inja yonyango.
Eyona nto isebenze kakuhle kukudumisa kunye nemivuzo. Uyakuthanda ukundikholisa, kwaye ke kuya kuba njalo nakwezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo ukuba bayayazi into oyifunayo. Isiphumo ngumbulelo kunye novuyo kunokuba sibekek 'ityala okanye songeze iimfuno.
Okukhona ndathi "inkwenkwe elungileyo," ngakumbi inja yam yaba yinkwenkwe elungileyo. Ewe, andikuceli ukuba uphathe enye into ebalulekileyo ngale ndlela kodwa cinga ngayo okomzuzu. Ukuba uxelelwe ukuba wenze umahluko onje kuba usithi "enkosi," ngaba awungekhe uwenze rhoqo?
Mhlawumbi!
Ukuba uvuke kwakusasa kwaye unayo ikomityi eshushu yekofu ilungele ubusi bakho, amathuba okuva umbulelo kunye nokuncuma mkhulu. Ukuba ufuna iqabane lakho liqhubeke nokuziphatha okutsha, ke ukungqina ukuba wonwabe kangakanani xa ubona olu tshintsho kunokubakho ngakumbi. Sonke siyathanda ukuva indumiso.
Isilumkiso nje — amanye amadoda akathandi ukubizwa ngokuba ngamakhwenkwe kwaye akhetha ibinzana elithi “umyeni oyikekayo” okanye “umhlobo osenyongweni.”
3. Thetha ngokuphandle nangokunyanisekileyo
Yitsho into oyithethayo, kwaye uthetha ukuba uthini. Akukho namnye kuthi othanda iiphazili. Ewe, oku kuyingozi; kodwa ukurhawula okanye ulindele ukuba iqabane lakho lifunde ingqondo yakho kuya kukhokelela enzonzobileni yokuthandabuza nengqumbo. Sukucinga ukuba iqabane lakho liyazi ukuba uthetha ukuthini.
Bacele ukuba baphinda-phinde oko bekuva ukuze uqiniseke ukuba umyalezo wakho awugqwethekanga.
Ngale ndlela unokuphendula ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ufikelele kwisisombululo esifanelekileyo. Zive ukhululekile ukuveza izimvo kunye neemvakalelo zakho ngaphandle koloyiko lokugxekwa. Cinga emva kobudlelwane bakho ngaphambi komtshato, xa benisazana, kwaye ukhumbule ukuba le nto yenziwa njani.
4. Bonisa uthando
Ukubamba izandla, ukwangana, ukwanga entanyeni, kunye nokuthamba kwesandla sakho kunokubeka imo yomzuzu wokonwaba. Yazi ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna ntoni kwaye lithanda ntoni.
Ukusondelelana kubambe iintsingiselo ezahlukeneyo kumntu ngamnye. Khumbula ukuba kwakunjani ngaphambi kokubanjwa. Ngaba yayisisenzo nje somzimba esasinentsingiselo komnye obalulekileyo — okanye yayikukujonga nje egumbini, ligama, okanye kukuthinta egxalabeni? Nokuba ibiyintoni na, yibuyise kwaye uqhubeke nayo.
Ulwalamano olusempilweni lulungile kanye njengosuku lwakho lwakutshanje kunye.
5. Ukuhlekisa umntu yeyona nto ndiyithandayo
Ngobomi bolonwabo nothando, kufuneka sikwazi ukuzihleka thina kunye nabanye. Izinto ezinobudenge zizinto ezilungileyo zokuphelisa uxinzelelo kunye nokunciphisa uxinzelelo. Ubomi budinga imizuzwana elula yokunciphisa iintlungu kunye nobunzima obunokuvela kwikamva elingaqinisekanga.
Olu luhlu alugqitywanga.
Sisiqalo ekugcineni idangatye elivuthayo ukuze ube “nokonwaba ngonaphakade.” Uninzi lwazo zonke, khumbula ukuba ukugcina into yahlukile kunokufumana into. Okanye umntu!