Uthando noMtshato- Uthando lolwabantu abanesibindi kuphela

Umxholo

• Uthando kunye nezinto ezi-3 kulonwabo
• Uthando ngabantu abanesibindi kuphela
• Thanda uze uthandwe
• Imephu ayinxibelelani nomhlaba
• Indlela yokuqonda imephu ayingqinelani nomhlaba

Uninzi lwethu loyika ukuguga, unyaka nonyaka kukho ubudala obutsha.

Sizama ngamandla ukuzenza bancinci. Kodwa siyalibala njengoko sikhula siya kufumana imbuyekezo yengqondo ezelwe ngamava ethu aqokelelweyo.

Ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-30 ubudala, ndihamba kumanqanaba amaninzi obomi bam, ndiyakhathala ngakumbi ngendlela endiziva ngayo, kutheni ndonwabile okanye ndingonwabanga.

Ndiphinde ndenza utshintsho ekwamkelweni komtshato nothando- imiba enokufundwa ngokuzikhulisa. Ukuba ezi mvavanyo bezingabizi kakhulu!

Ukwabelana ngezinto endizifundileyo kunokuba luncedo kulwazi lobomi bakho kuba ubomi abukho malunga nehlabathi "ledijithali" kuphela.

Uthando kunye nezinto ezi-3 kulonwabo

Ebhayibhileni, inkanuko yesono yabangela ukuba uAdam noEva bagxothwe kumyezo weParadesi.

Ukufuna ukwazi, ubuthathaka, kunye nokunqwenela omnye nomnye kungaphezulu kokunyaniseka kuThixo. Izicatshulwa ezikweli nqaku zibhalwe nguGordon Livingstone kwincwadi ethi “Kungekudala kakhulu, kade kakhulu”.

Imvisiswano kunye nokuhlala ecaleni kwabantu ababini, okusizisele imbuyekezo ekhokelayo kuyo yonke imithwalo enjengokusebenza nzima, ubunzima, amahla ndinyuka ebomini nokwazi kwethu ubomi bethu obufutshane.

Uninzi lwethu luva izinto ezintathu ezenza ulonwabo, kodwa ayinguye wonke umntu oziqondayo kwaye uziva ngokucacileyo. Xa umsebenzi utshintsha usuka koko besifuna ukukwenza "masikwenze," umsebenzi ophindaphindayo ophindaphindiweyo, ongenantsingiselo, akukho ndlela yokuqhubela phambili, kuthetha ukuba yonke imihla unciphisa amathuba okufumana umsebenzi wokwenyani. Ngaba lo msebenzi ukunika ithemba kunyaka omtsha, okanye yindlela elula yokufumana irente kunye nokutya, uqokelele ukuthenga ii-iPhones ezingakumbi, iimoto ezingcono?

Kukho abantu ngalo lonke ixesha ufuna ukwenza umnxeba, kodwa isimo sabo sengqondo sikudinisa ngakumbi. Ukuba liqabane lakho, ayibobudlelwane obuzisa ulonwabo kubo bobabini abatshatileyo.

Izinto ezintathu zolonwabo zinento yokwenza, umntu omthandayo kunye nento ekufuneka ujonge kuyo.

Cinga ngaloo nto.

Ukuba sinomsebenzi onesidima, sigcina ubudlelwane-abo bathembisa ukonwaba kwaye babemnandi-ke kunzima ukungonwabi!

Ndisebenzisa ibinzana elithi "sebenza" ukuze ndikwazi ukulingana kulo naliphi na inyathelo, elihlawulelweyo okanye hayi, okoko kusenza sizive sibalulekile kum. Ukuba sinomsebenzi onomdla owenza ukuba ubomi bube nenjongo, lowo ngowona msebenzi. Ngumnikelo wethu kukwahlukahlukana kobomi okusinika uluvo lokoneliseka kunye nenjongo.

Imvisiswano kunye nokuhamba kwabantu ababini yile nto yabhalwa nguMark Twain: "Umyezo wase-Eden uhambile kodwa ndimfumene kwaye ndonelisekile ngawo." Ubudlelwane obukhulu buza kuzisa iZulu, ayisiyonto emva kokuba siswelekile, kodwa ikho ebomini.

Uthando ngabantu abanesibindi kuphela

Uthando lufuna isibindi. Kukho iindlela ezininzi apho uthando lufuna inkalipho.

Kunzima ukufumana isithandwa kunye neqabane ngendlela othanda ngayo. Ngothando, kufuneka ube nesibindi.

Ubomi obutshatileyo emva koko bunoluhlu olupheleleyo lweemvakalelo, ulonwabo-ulusizi-uthando-intiyo, abanye abantu banokugcina ikhaya elilungileyo, abanye bengenalo.

Ukuba ukhe wehlelwa bubuhlobo obungathandekiyo, ukuqhubekeka nomnye umntu kufuna isibindi.

Uthando lokwenene lufuna ukuba sibe nesibindi sokujamelana nokukhathazwa ngabanye. Iingozi zicacile.

Xa ukuthanda kakhulu ukhuseleko kusongamela, siphulukene nomoya wethu wokuthanda izinto. Ubomi yindawo yokungcakaza esingadlali ngayo namakhadi kodwa kusafuneka singcakaze ngawo onke amandla ethu.

Kuya kufuneka samkele ukungakhathali, ngamanye amaxesha okuninzi ukuze siphumelele. Ukuba asenzi nto, sinokuba nobuchule njani kwasekuqaleni njengoko kulindelwe?

Abantu bayayamkela imbono yekhephu lengqondo kunye neempazamo ezibuhlungu ngaphambi kokuba sibe nobuchule.

Akukho mntu ulindelwe ukuba ulunge kwi-skiing ngaphandle kokuwa ngaphezulu kwamaxesha amaninzi. Ukanti abantu abaninzi bayothuswa yintlungu yokuzama konke okusemandleni abo ukufumana umntu ofanelwe luthando lwabo.

Ukuthatha umngcipheko ofunekayo ukuze ufezekise iinjongo zakho sisenzo sesibindi.

Kwaye xa 'ungakholelwa kwingcinga yesibindi eluthandweni kwaye usala ukuthatha umngcipheko ukukhusela intliziyo yakho ukuba ingonzakaliswa, sisenzo esibi.

Ngento endiye ndadibana nayo, ndiyaqonda ukuba uthando yinto enzima kakhulu ukuyithetha. Isizathu sokuba umthande umntu naso asicacanga. Mhlawumbi kukuziphatha okungenangqiqo okuchazwe nguDan Ariely kwincwadi yakhe edumileyo.

Thanda uze uthandwe

Andinakukunyanzela ukuba uthiye isiqwenga somculo, imovie oyithandayo. Kananjalo awunakukhetha xa usazi ukuba uyamthanda umntu. Ekuphela kwento onokuyenza kukukhetha indlela ocinga ngayo kunye nokuziphatha kwakho kulowo uneemvakalelo ngaye.

Siyamthanda umntu xa iimfuno okanye iminqweno yakhe ibalulekile njengeyethu iminqweno.

Ewe kunjalo, kweyona meko intle, sinexhala ngakumbi malunga nezinto abanomdla kuzo okanye ezingenakwahlulwa kwimidla yethu.

Umbuzo oqhelekileyo endihlala ndiwusebenzisa ukunceda abantu bagqibe ukuba bayamthanda na umntu ingaba "Ngaba ngenxa yalowo umthandayo, ukhulule loo bhatyi ingangenwa mbumbulu?"

Oku kubonakala kungaphaya kwesiqhelo kuba bambalwa kuphela abantu abanyanzelwayo ukuba bajongane nokuzincama okukhulu kwaye akukho namnye kuthi onokuthi ngokuqinisekileyo malunga nento esiya kuyenza ukuba kufuneka ukhethe phakathi komnqweno wokuzikhusela kunye nothando.

Kodwa ukucinga nje ukuba imeko inokucacisa imeko yokuncamathisela kwethu kumntu esimthandayo.

Lo mbuzo unokuzibuza ngesithandwa sakho. Nokuba kungomso, awusemhle, awufumani mali, akusekho mihle, emva koko lo mhlobo unawe okanye baya kuhamba.

Kodwa ukuba asizicwangcisi ukubanika esi sipho, singatsho njani ukuba siyabathanda? Rhoqo, uthando okanye uthando alubonakali lula xa sibonisa loo mntu ukuba ubalulekile kuthi, ngakumbi ngexesha kunye nomgangatho wexesha esizimisele ukulichitha nabo.

Xa umhlobo wakho ekubonisa "kukho ibluebird kwisebe elingaphandle kwefestile", uyakuyijonga uthethe nomhlobo wakho, okanye uza kuthi ewe uqhubeke nokucofa ubuso bakho kwifowuni?

Impendulo icace gca, ngezinto zemihla ngemihla osazibonayo. Lowo ngumqondiso ongazihoyi ngabom.

Ubona kuphela into ofuna ukuyibona, uzikhohlisa endaweni yento eyenzekayo ngokwenene. Imephu eboniswe kuwe ayisadibani nobume bendawo.

Imephu ayinxibelelani nomhlaba

Yimephu yemikhombandlela engachanekanga, ukukwazi ukujonga ikamva neengxaki.

UGordon Livingston ukhumbula xa wayengu-lieutenant oselula kwi-82 ye-Airborne Division kwaye wayezama ukuhamba eCarolina.

Ndithe ndisenza uphando ngemephu, isekela leqela, igqala lamagosa angagunyaziswanga liza kum landibuza, "Ingaba usombusebutho ufumene ukuba siphi?" Ndaphendula ndathi, “Owu, ngokwemephu, kufanele kubekho induli apha kodwa andiyibonanga, Mhlekazi.” Uthe: "Ukuba imephu ayingqinelani nomhlaba, yimephu engeyiyo".

Ngelo xesha, ndandisazi ukuba ndivile nje inyani esisiseko.

Bukela le vidiyo:

Indlela yokuqonda imephu ayingqinelani nomhlaba

Imikhombandlela elahlekisayo kwimephu yethu yobomi ibonakaliswe ngcono kwiimvakalelo zosizi, umsindo, ukungcatsha, ukothuka kunye nokudideka.

Xa ezi mvakalelo zifika kumphezulu lixesha lokuba uphinde ucinge amandla ethu okuhamba, kunye nendlela yokuzilungisa ukuze singaphindi imodeli yabo bachitha ixesha ukuze baqonde ukuba ekuphela kwentuthuzelo yale ntlungu ngamava.

Kukangaphi siziva singcatshiwe kwaye simangalisiwe ukuqonda "ulwimi olungahambelaniyo" phakathi kwamazwi nezenzo zabantu ngaphambi kokuqonda ukuba kufuneka sizikhathaze ngezenzo kunamazwi athethwe gca?

Uninzi lwezinto ezikukhathaza kobu bomi ziziphumo zokungahoyi inyani yokuba isimilo sakho sangaphambili sesona sichanekileyo sokuziphatha kwangaphambili.

Nje ukuba uqaphele, lungelelanisa imephu yakho yokuhamba ukuze ube nenyani.

Ukwamkela inyani linyathelo lokuqala lokoyisa ukubandezeleka. Khetha indlela efanelekileyo kwaye ungabi buthathaka xa usenza oko ukhetha.

Uthando nolonwabo ngamaphupha akhe wonke umntu.

Nangona kunjalo, kumntu ngamnye, uthando kunye nolonwabo zihluke kakhulu, azizi nakubani na ngokulula, zinokuba nencasa komnye umntu kodwa zirhabaxa komnye.

Kodwa uthando kunye nolonwabo zihlala zihlala entliziyweni yomntu wonke, zihlala zivutha yonke imihla. Ukuba mnye kuphela owukhathaleleyo, uya kutsha kuzo zonke izindlu nakuwo wonke umntu. Uthando kunye nolonwabo yimitya engabonakaliyo, kodwa ebonakalayo kwabo bayixabisayo.