Wenze ntoni xa kungekho kuthandana kubudlelwane?

Umxholo

• Kwenzeka njani
• Ngaba wayekhe wathandana?
• Iziphumo zokungathandani kubudlelwane
• Omakwenziwe xa kungekho kuthandana kubudlelwane
• Chithani ixesha kunye
• Ulwalamano olusondeleyo
• Funa uncedo
• Musa ukoyika ukukhokela

Yonke intombazana iyakhuthazeka icinge ngendoda yayo eyiphupha. Xa intombazana icinga ukuba inkosana yayo iyathandeka, ibona iintyatyambo ngombala oluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, ubusuku nemini ekhanyayo, kunye nezinto ezintle ezamhlebayo endlebeni. Into angayicingi ukuba akukho kuthandana kubudlelwane kunye nokuba kunye nendoda enoluvo lokuthandana luphela ngokwabelana ngebhiya ngaphezulu kweNetflix binge. Ingavakala ihlekisa, kodwa ukuba ukwimeko apho kungekho kuthandana kubudlelwane, inokuziva ikhathazekile kwaye iphazamise kancinci.

Ke, kufuneka wenze ntoni xa uthando lungasekho?

Nantsi into enokuyenza xa uthando lungasekho emtshatweni kwaye kungekho kuthandana kubudlelwane bakho.

Kwenzeka njani

Njani ubudlelwane bakho ukusuka ukuthandana ngaphandle ukuthandana emtshatweni? Kungokwemvelo ukuba ubudlelwane obutsha buqhakaze ngokuthandana kwiinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala okanye iminyaka. Izibini ezikwinkqubo yokutsalelana zikhangela iindlela zokwenza enye ukuba izive ikhethekile, kunye nothando kwindawo eqhelekileyo yokuthatha. Izipho zokucinga, ubusuku ngaphandle, kunye nokutya okutyayo kuyindawo eqhelekileyo ngexesha lesigaba sothando sepuppy salo naluphi na ubudlelwane.

Ixesha elingaphezulu, olu thando lungaqala ukuncipha, ngaphandle kokuba iqabane lakho lithandana nje ngendalo. Oku kuza nokuziva ukhululekile kubudlelwane kwaye ungasaziva unesidingo sokuchukumisa. Kodwa, ufumana ukungabikho kothando kwaye akukho mdla kulwalamano. Ulwalamano olungenalo uthando luphulukana nawo wonke umbala kunye nomtsalane, owawunjalo, ekuqaleni uxhaphakile emtshatweni wakho.

Ngaba wayekhe wathandana?

Ngokuchasene noku kungasentla, iqabane lakho ngekhe lithandane, ukuqala. Ngapha koko, le yingxaki eqhelekileyo abajamelana nayo abantu abaninzi abanengxaki enkulu yokuba 'isithandwa sam asithandani', okanye 'umyeni wam akanamdla'.

Ukuba kunjalo kwaye ubonakalisile umnqweno wakho wokuthandana ngakumbi kulwalamano lwakho ngaphandle kokufumana nto, kuya kufuneka uyamkele into yokuba akathandani kwaye ayilulo olo hlobo ulindele ukuba abe lolo. Oku akubonakalisi ukungabikho kothando okanye umnqweno wakho kuwe, ubonakalisa uthando lwakhe ngezinye iindlela, kodwa akukho kuthandana kubudlelwane.

Iziphumo zokungathandani kubudlelwane

Kungabonakala kububudenge kwabanye ukuba umfazi acaphuke ngenxa yokungabikho kothando kubudlelwane bakhe, kodwa iziphumo zokungathandani kubudlelwane zinokudala iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga. Ukuthandana okungathandekiyo kubudlelwane kunokubangela iingxabano zomtshato phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo.

Ukuba umyeni wakho akathandani okanye akathandani, ke ukungabikho kobuhlobo kunye nothando kunokukwenza uzive ngathi uhlala kunye nabantu kunabathandi. Nazi ezinye zeempembelelo ezenzekayo xa uyeka ukuncwina iqabane lakho.

• Ukungaqiniseki: Ukungabikho kothando, ngakumbi ngokwesondo, kunokwenza ukuba umfazi azive engakhuselekanga. Uqala ukuzibuza ukuba iqabane lakhe lifumanisa ukuba livuseleleka ngokwasemoyeni okanye ngokwasemzimbeni.
• Ayinamtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni: Abafazi baqala ukuzibuza ukuba amaqabane abo akasenamtsalane kuye. Oku kunokuba buhlungu ngakumbi ukuba umzimba wakhe utshintshe kakhulu okoko ubudlelwane baqala. Ukungazithembi kunokukhokelela kuxinzelelo okanye ukwenza ngeendlela ezinobungozi, njengokufuna ukwamkelwa kunye nokwamkelwa yenye indoda.
• Ngaba uyaqhatha? Ukuba indoda yakhe ayisamthandi ngokuthandana naye ngaphambili, unokuqala ukuzibuza ukuba ingaba unomdla komnye umfazi.

Omakwenziwe xa kungekho kuthandana kubudlelwane

Ukungabinakho ukuthandana kubudlelwane akuthethi ukuba ubudlelwane abulunganga. Iqabane lakho linokuba ngumboneleli obalaseleyo, utata, kunye neqabane elinomdla kuzo zonke ezinye iinkalo zobomi bakho, akakubonisi ukuthandana.

Nantsi into ekufuneka uyenzile xa kungekho kuthandana kubomi bakho bothando.

Chithani ixesha kunye

Ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye kudala amathuba amahle okuthandana. Khumbula ukuba ulwalamano lwakho lumalunga nezinto ezingaphezu kwemihla ngemihla. Yonwaba kunye. Dlala umdlalo wemibuzo apho ubuzana khona imibuzo eli-100 ngobomi bomnye nomnye. Yenza ngokungathi niyathandana. Oku kuyakwenza iqabane lakho lizive likhethekile kwaye likunike nethuba lokwabelana ngeenkcukacha ngawe kunye ne-bond. Enye indlela ebalaseleyo yokubopha kukuthatha into oyithandayo okanye umsebenzi kunye. Okukhona usabelana ngokufanayo kokukhona kuya kuba lula ukukhuthaza unxibelelwano lwezothando.

Ulwalamano olusondeleyo

Eyona ndlela icace gca yokwenza ukuthandana ngakumbi kubudlelwane bakho kukudala iimeko ezikhuthaza ukusondelelana. Nazi ezinye zeendlela zokubandakanya ukuthandana ngakumbi kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla.

• Qhagamshela ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo: Ukwabelana ngesondo lithuba elifanelekileyo lokuthandana. Oku akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka uphathe isenzo njengendawo evela kumdlalo bhanyabhanya, kodwa qiniseka ukuba uyadibanisa ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo. Oku kuthetha ukwanga, ukubambana ngezandla, kunye nokudibana ngamehlo.
• Umbhalo: Qala ukuthumela imiyalezo ngomnye usuku. Ngamanye amaxesha kulula ukubhala izinto zothando kunokuzithetha ngokuvakalayo.
• Bamba izandla: Le yenye indlela entle yokubopha. Ukuthinta ngokwasemzimbeni ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala kubaluleke kakhulu kubudlelwane njengoko kunjalo kwigumbi lokulala. Wanga, danisa kunye, bamba esofeni, dlala iinyawo. Nantoni na eniyenzayo kunye, zama kwaye ibandakanye into yokuthinta.
• Gqibezanani: Enye indlela yokwenza wena kunye neqabane lakho niziva nikhethekile kukuphuma kwindlela yenu yokuncoma omnye nomnye. Inokuba yinto elula njengokuthi "Ubonakala umhle namhlanje" ku "Enkosi kakhulu ngokwenza i-XYZ, ndiyixabise kakhulu."
• Nika izipho: Olu khetho alunyanzelekanga ukuba lwenze ukuthandana, kodwa sisenzo esimnandi esenza ukuba iqabane lakho lifune ukubuyisela. Isipho esothusayo, nokuba yinto encinci kwaye inomdla, iya kuthetha lukhulu kwiqabane lakho.

Funa uncedo

Ukungabinalo uthando kubudlelwane kungangakhange kubonakale kuyinto enkulu kubabukeli, kodwa kunokubangela ukungazithembi kwiqabane elingakhange lenziwe liziva libalulekile. Kungangumdla wobudlelwane bakho ukufuna uncedo.

• Nxibelelana nogqirha: Ukuba ukungabikho kwakho kwezothando kuvela kwi-libido ephantsi, kuya kuba luncedo ukunxibelelana nogqirha wosapho. Bazokwazi ukukuxelela ukuba umcimbi uvela phi, nokuba kungenxa yotshintsho lwehomoni okanye umgama weemvakalelo. Nasiphi na isiphumo siya kukunceda uthathe isigqibo njengesibini apho niza kusuka khona.
• Iingcebiso: Ukucebisa ngomtshato kunokunceda izibini zisondele kunye kwaye zifike kwingcambu yemicimbi abanayo kubudlelwane babo.

Musa ukoyika ukukhokela

Abasetyhini bahlala bewushiya umsebenzi wezothando kumaqabane abo, kodwa akufuneki woyike ukukhokela. Khangela iindlela zokubonisa iqabane lakho olikhathaleleyo ngeendlela elinokuthi ulixabise. Khumbula, into ithandana naye isenokungabi yeyothando kuwe. Ukumthatha uye kumntwana oyithandayo ebuntwaneni okanye ukumphatha ngesipho esimangalisayo zizo zombini iindlela ezimnandi zokubonisa ukuba uyakhathala. Xa ekubona uthatha uxanduva kwisebe lezothando, unokujonga iindlela zokubuyisela.