Umxholo
- Yamkela uxanduva eyakho Inxalenye
- Kwenziwe ntoni
- 1. Yivani ingqolowa yenyaniso
- 2. Qinisekisa injongo yakho
- 3. Cela uxolo
- 4. Yenza ngokufanelekileyo
- Kutheni le nto ibalulekile
- 1. Ukhokela intshukumo kwisisombululo esifanayo
- 2. Uyazikhusela kuqhawulo-mtshato
Wenze konke onako ukusombulula ingxaki. Akukho nto isebenza. Okukhona uya usiba mkhulu, kokukhona kuya kubonakala ngathi iqabane lakho liyakuva. Eyona nto ikhathazayo kukuba bahlala bebeka ityala kuwe! Okona kubi, kukuhlaziya iimpazamo kunye nokusilela. Ufikelele kwisithintelo. Unamathele, woyisiwe, kwaye awazi ukuba yintoni enye onokuyenza.
Ukuba ufana nabantu abaninzi, unokuyeka ukuzama. Ushiya umba uwedwa kwaye uyathemba ukuba uzive ungcono ngosuku olulandelayo. Njengesiqhelo iimvakalelo zakho ezinzulu ziya kuncipha ekuhambeni kwexesha, kwaye kuya kuba lula kakhulu ukuwutyeshela umba kwithuba lokuba uzakuzihambela wedwa. Okanye mhlawumbi unethemba lokuba yayingeyonto enkulu yokuthengiselana emva kwayo yonke loo nto.
Ingxaki koku kukuba ihlala ingahambi. Ingxaki esisiseko ebangela ungquzulwano ihleli kwaye ilele kude kube yinto eyiphinde iyenze.
Ke unokwenza njani ukuba olu phuculo lubeyimpumelelo? Impendulo ilula ngokumangalisayo. Indlela eya kufikelelo iqala ngo ... ukwamkela uxanduva.
Yamkela uxanduva eyakho Inxalenye
Qaphela ugxininiso eyakho Inxalenye. Oku akuthethi ukuthatha lonke ityala okanye ucele uxolo ngezinto ongazenzanga. Kwaye oko akuthethi ukuba uyavumelana ngokupheleleyo neqabane lakho. Kukufumana nje igalelo lakho kwingxaki ekhoyo, nokuba inkulu okanye incinci kangakanani loo galelo linokuba lilo.
Kuyanceda ukukhumbula ukuba ukuba ufuna nyani ukufikelela kwimpixano yakho, kuyakufuneka ujolise kwimizamo yakho ukusebenza kunokuba kulunge. Ngamanye amagama, ungalibali eyona njongo yakho iphambili- ukusebenza ngongquzulwano kunye nokuba nomtshato ophumelelayo. Umbuzo oqhelekileyo obuzwa ngabacebisi bomtshato ngulo, "Ngaba ufuna ukuba ulungile, okanye ufuna ukutshata?"
Ukwamkela uxanduva akunanto yakwenza nokuba ngubani olungileyo okanye ongalunganga, kwaye inento yokwenza nokusebenza ngempumelelo kubudlelwane. Xa ukhetha ukwamkela uxanduva lwenxalenye yakho, ekugqibeleni uthi “Ndinawe, andilwi nawe. Masikucinge oku kunye. ” Kubonisa ukuba uzimisele ukufumana amanqaku esivumelwano, ukuze nisondele kwimpikiswano yenu kunye, njengeqela.
Kwenziwe ntoni
Nanga amanyathelo ama-4 okwamkela uxanduva oluza kukunceda ujike ukophuka kwakho kube yintuthuko.
1. Yivani ingqolowa yenyaniso
Nokuba awuvumelani nempikiswano, isikhalazo, okanye ukugxeka okujolise kuwe, kuhlala kukho ubuncinci benyani kwinto ethethwayo. Masisebenzise umzekelo kwinqaku lam lokugqibela, "Shift encinci kuNxibelelwano inokwenza umahluko omkhulu kubudlelwane bakho."
“Kutheni ungaze ukhuphe isitya sokuhlamba izitya ?! Uhlala ushiya kum ukuze ndikhuphe, kwaye awusoze ucinge ngendlela endidinwa ngayo ekupheleni kosuku. ”
Unokungavumi ukuba wena soze Khuphela isitya sokuhlamba isitya kwaye wena njalo shiyekele iqabane lakho lingenanto. Kodwa kuyinyani ukuba ubuncinci ngamanye amaxesha awucingi kangako malunga nokuba udinwe kangakanani liqabane lakho ekupheleni kosuku. Ukwamkela ingqolowa yenyani kuya kubonakala ngathi.
"Ulungile. Bendihlala ndingayiqondi indlela odinwe ngayo ekupheleni kosuku. ”
Ngokwenza oku, uyangqinisisa uluvo lweqabane lakho kwaye uyayixhomisa ingxabano.
2. Qinisekisa injongo yakho
Kubalulekile ukuba uchaze injongo yakho ukuze iqabane lakho liqale ukuqonda uluvo lwakho kwaye liqinisekise ukuba awuzami ngabom ukuba wenzakalise.
Umzekelo, “Nam ndidiniwe ekupheleni kosuku, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ndigxila ekuphumleni ndingacingi ngento ekufuneka yenziwe ekhaya. Khange ndicinge ukuba uzive ngathi kufuneka uyenze yonke. ”
3. Cela uxolo
Mane uthi, “Ndicela uxolo.” Yiyo leyo! Ngokuchasene nenkolelo edumileyo, ukucela uxolo luphawu lwamandla, hayi ubuthathaka. Ungaze uyijongele phantsi imiphumo enamandla yokuxolisa xa usenza intliziyo yakho ithambe kwaye isuse ingxabano.
4. Yenza ngokufanelekileyo
NJANI ukunxibelelana nokuthatha uxanduva kwenza umahluko omkhulu. Kubalulekile ukuba unyaniseke xa usebenzisa obu buchule. Iqabane lakho liyakwazi ukuba awunyanisekanga okanye uhamba nje. Ukuba uzibhaqa uziva ubambeke kwiimvakalelo ezingalunganga ukuya kuthi ga apho ungazukuqiniseka ngalo mzuzu, thabatha ikhefu. Zinike ixesha lokuzola kwaye ucinge ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba ithini indawo yakho kule ngxaki kwaye yintoni onokuxolisa ngokunyanisekileyo ngayo.
Kutheni le nto ibalulekile
Kungenxa yoko le nto ibalulekile-
1. Ukhokela intshukumo kwisisombululo esifanayo
Xa uqinisekisa iqabane lakho ngokuchonga ingqolowa yenyani kwinto abayithethayo unika ithuba lengxoxo ekhuselekileyo. Xa abantu beziva bekhuselekile ukuveza izimvo kunye neemvakalelo zabo, baziva bekhuselekile ukuba bamamele. Oku kukhokelela ekuzimiseleni ngakumbi ukunika kunye nokuthatha xa kukho imfuneko kunye nenjongo efanayo yokoyisa ungquzulwano kunye. Iziko laseGottman licebisa ukuba, “Ngokuchonga nokuvelana noluvo lweqabane lakho, kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumane isisombululo esibahloniphayo bobabini abalingane. Nantso ke imfihlelo. ”
2. Uyazikhusela kuqhawulo-mtshato
Enye yeempawu eziqhelekileyo zemitshato ekhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato kukuzikhusela. Isichasi sokuzikhusela kukukwazi ukwamkela uxanduva. Ngamanye amagama, ukwamkela uxanduva kukuthintela ukuzikhusela.
Xa ungena kumkhwa wokwamkela uxanduva lwenxaxheba yakho kwiingxaki zakho zomtshato, awuzukutsiba nje ukuqala inkqubela phambili ukoyisa ungquzulwano lwakho, kodwa uya kuba uzikhusela ngamandla ekuqhawuleni umtshato.