Ukusuka kwi-Passive-Aggressive ukuya kwi-Honest-Expressxp: Iingcebiso ezi-5 zokuTshintsha indlela yoNxibelelwano kuMtshato

Umbhali: Monica Porter
Umhla Wokudalwa: 13 Eyokwindla 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Ukusuka kwi-Passive-Aggressive ukuya kwi-Honest-Expressxp: Iingcebiso ezi-5 zokuTshintsha indlela yoNxibelelwano kuMtshato - I-Psychology
Ukusuka kwi-Passive-Aggressive ukuya kwi-Honest-Expressxp: Iingcebiso ezi-5 zokuTshintsha indlela yoNxibelelwano kuMtshato - I-Psychology

Ngaba ukufumanisa kunzima ukubonisa iimfuno zakho, ufuna, ulindelo, ukuphoxeka, njl., ngokuthe ngqo kwiqabane lakho?

Ngaba ngamanye amaxesha uyaphika iimvakalelo zakho zokwenyani malunga nento ekhathazayo ukuba wenza iqabane lakho okanye akalenzi, uzenza "olungileyo" kuba ulindele ukufumana impendulo yokuzikhusela?

Ngaba uyazibuza ukuba unxibelelana njani ngempumelelo neqabane lakho?, okanye ukuba awusebenzisi isimbo esifanelekileyo sokunxibelelana?

Ukuba imeko iyalunga-ungazikhohlisi ngokukholelwa ukuba awuthethi okanye indlela onxibelelana ngayo ayilunganga. Ngokwenyani, ucacisa kakhulu, kodwa hayi ngendlela ethe ngqo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ungoyiki.


Ke, ngekhe uzonwabele izibonelelo zencoko ethembekileyo.

Musa ukukhathazeka, nangona kunjalo, awuwedwa!

Thatha uSally, utitshala webanga lesine, kunye noPete, umphuhlisi wesoftware, umzekelo, bobabini kwi-30s yabo yokuqala abanqwenela ukuqala usapho. Ekupheleni kosuku, bobabini babediniwe, beshiya amandla amancinci kwezesondo.

Nangona kunjalo, ukudinwa kunye nokuthintelwa lixesha kuye kwavela ayingongxaki yabo enkulu. Endaweni yokuba bobabini babenenzondo.

Ngelishwa, uSally noPete babengathembanga ukuba kuyakhuseleka ukuthetha malunga nento eyayikhathaza umntu ngamnye kubo kwaye bawela kumgibe wokungafuni "ukwenza into enkulu ngento engekhoyo."

Ngaphantsi komhlaba, uSally wayecaphukile kuba uPete wayengaphumeleli ukufeza uxanduva ekuvunyelwene ngalo malunga nendlu, njengokukhupha inkunkuma kunye nokuhlamba izitya, oko kwamenza wakhathazeka ukuba angakwazi ukuthembela kuye xa sele usana.


UPete, kwelinye icala, wafumanisa ukuba uSally ungumntu ofumana iimpazamo kwaye wayehlala eziva egxekwa ngezinto ezincinci.

Nangona kunjalo, kunokuba abonise iimvakalelo zakhe ezibuhlungu, wayewakhupha amehlo akhe angamhoyi. Emva kwexesha, wayephindela kuye ngokuthi "alibale" ukwenza imisebenzi yakhe.

Abangazi kubo bobabini uSally noPete, babenze ingxelo engalunganga yempendulo okanye isitayile sonxibelelwano esibi, besebenzisa iindlela zokuthetha.

Ku-Sally, endaweni yokwabelana ngokoyika kwakhe malunga nokuba nomntwana kunye noPete, wayeza kukhonkxa iikhabhathi kwaye enze izimvo ezihlekisayo xa uPete wayesendlebeni, ngethemba lokuba wayeza kujonga ingqalelo yakhe kumgqomo wokugcwala.

KuPete, endaweni yokuba axelele uSally ukuba indlela yakhe yokunxibelelana okanye ukugxekwa kwamshiya ekhathazekile kwaye enomsindo, akazange amhoye, enethemba lokuba uza kuyeka ukukhalaza. (Ngendlela, uSally wayekholelwa ukuba unika ingxelo eyakhayo, kodwa ayisiyiyo indlela uPete ayitolike ngayo.)

Ngelixa bethandana, ezi Ukubonakaliswa ngokungangqalanga kokudana kwabo kunikezela ngamafutha anokutsha anokuqhushumba kwitanki yegesi kwaye ulwalamano lwabo lwaqhubeka luyehla.


Ngethamsanqa, USally noPete bafuna uncedo kwaye ekugqibeleni baqonda ukuba kufuneka bakhumbule iimvakalelo zabo zokwenyani kwaye babonakalise ngokwakhayo ezibavumela ukuba baphule umjikelo wabo ongathandekiyo kwaye bakhe ulwalamano lwabo olusondeleyo.

Uninzi lwethu lubhenela ekuziphatheni ngokungakhathali xa siziva singakhuselekanga ukwabelana ngeengcinga neemvakalelo zethu elubala.

Kodwa xa zisetyenziswa kubudlelwane bethu obusondeleyo, ezi Iintetho ezahlukeneyo ezingangqalanga zinokwenzakalisa njengokuziphatha gwenxa, ukuba ayide ibe mbi ngamanye amaxesha.

Kodwa, unako yahlukane nokuziphatha okungalawulekiyo kwaye unxibelelane ngokunyanisekileyo nangokucacileyo endaweni yoko!

Apha ngezantsi kukho iingcebiso ezintlanu zokuphucula umgangatho wonxibelelwano kubudlelwane bakho:

  1. Yenza uluhlu lweenzondo zakho kunye nezikhalazo. Esi sesinye sezona zitshixo zibalulekileyo kunxibelelwano olusebenzayo emtshatweni
  2. Izinto eziphambili mazibekwe phambili ukusuka “kwabo kunokwenzeka ukuba babe ngabaphuli-mthetho ukuba bashiye ingatshintshanga” ukuya kwezo “zingabalulekanga ekuhambeni kwexesha.”
  3. Thatha enye eneyona nto iphambili kwaye uziqhelanise nesitayile sonxibelelwano (ngelizwi lakho, ewe).

Sithandwa, xa ndijonga (gcwalisa inkcazo yokuziphatha), ndiyitolika ukuba ithetha (umzekelo, awukhathali ngeemfuno zam, okanye uxakekile, njl. Njl.) Kwaye ndiziva ngokudakumba, ukuphambana, ukuvuya, okanye uloyiko).

Ndiyakuthanda kwaye ndingathanda kakhulu ukuba singafumana indlela yokuyicoca le nto okanye senze isivumelwano esitsha. Ndinqwenela ukwazi ukuba ndingenza ntoni ukuze ndinike indawo ekhuselekileyo yokwabelana nani ngezikhalazo zam. ”

Qiniseka ukuba uvela kwindawo enenjongo elungileyo. Khumbula, injongo yakho kukuba iqabane lakho lifumane umyalezo wakho ngokuthe ngqo nangothando ukuze kungakhuthazi ukuzikhusela.

Ukwazi indlela yokunxibelelana neqabane lakho kuqala ngokwazi indlela efanelekileyo yokunxibelelana.

  1. Cwangcisa ixesha kunye neswiti yakho ukuba nencoko apho ubuza khona ukuba angakucela na ukuba ube "ngumphulaphuli" kangangemizuzu eliqela ukuze ukwazi ukuveza into oyifunayo, uqinisekise iqabane lakho ukuba uyakumnika nexesha lokuphendula kube kanye uziva ukuba uvile. Emva koko bonisa into oyenzileyo kwi # 3.
  2. Mema iqabane lakho ukuba nalo lenze uluhlu kwaye lenze ixesha lokuba babelane ngezinto ezibaxhalabisayo. Oku kubonisa ukuba uyaqonda ukuba amaqabane alungileyo ayatshintshana ukuba sisithethi kunye nomphulaphuli.

Emva koko phinda # 3-5 uhamba uluhlu lwakho. Unokufumanisa ukuba ngokufumana izinto ezimbalwa zokuqala, isimilo siza kuzilungisa ngaphandle kokuya kuyo yonke into ekolu luhlu.

Ngokubeka ezi zinto ukuba zisebenze, ngethemba uyakuqala ukuvuna izibonelelo zokushiya isimilo esikhohlakeleyo emva kwakho kunye nokungena kwindawo entle yokuqhuba kwindlela yokunyaniseka!

Zilolonge ezi ngcebiso zonxibelelwano kubantu abatshatileyo emtshatweni wakho ukuphucula indlela onxibelelana ngayo kunye nokwakha iqhina elomeleleyo.

Kwaye, akukho zinkxalabo, ukuba ngamanye amaxesha ujika ngendlela engeyiyo, mane ume kwaye ubonakalise, kwaye uphinde uziphindisele kwindlela elungileyo!

(Qaphela: Ukuba usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo, nceda ufune uncedo lobuchwephesha kuba ezi ngcebiso zinokungasebenzi. Kananjalo, kuba ulwalamano ngalunye luhlukile, akukho siqinisekiso sokuba oko kusebenza komnye umntu / kwisibini esinye kuya kusebenza komnye.)