Umxholo
- Ukuseka isicwangciso sokwakha umtshato kwakhona
- Umbono ongakhethi cala ekukopeni
- Ugqirha ofanayo kuyo yonke into
- Onyangi ngabanye kunye nabacebisi ngemitshato
Into enzima xa kufikwa ekukhetheni ungenelelo lonyango lokukopela kukuba amandla kuyo yonke le meko anzima kakhulu.
Ubunzima bokwakha umtshato ngokungathembeki
Kwelinye icala uneqabane otshatileyo, ngubani onokuthi ngoku aphethwe ziimpawu ezihlala zihambelana noxinzelelo lwasemva kwengozi (PTSD), kwaye ngubani onokuba sele enezakhe iingxaki zengqondo awayejongana nazo ngaphambili umcimbi lowo, kwaye ngubani na ngoku onobunzima emtshatweni wabo.
Emva koko unaye umntu okopayo, oza kulungisa umtshato wabo okanye ukunceda iqabane lakhe kuya kufuneka baphonononge ukuba kutheni bekhohlisile kwaye bomelele ukuxhasa iqabane lakhe ngelixa bencedisa ekwakheni umtshato kwakhona (ukuba yile nto isibini esikhethe ukuyenza yenza).
Kodwa umntu okopayo uya kuthi ajongane neengxaki zabo, kunye nemicimbi yokuziva enetyala (okanye ezinye iimvakalelo ezinxulumene noko) eziphakanyiswe ngumcimbi lowo.
Iqabane elikhohlisayo linokuthi lijongane naliphi na ityala okanye ezinye iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo abanazo kumntu wesithathu.
Kwaye khange siqalise nokuthetha malunga nefuthe lemeko ebantwaneni ukuba bakhona. Kukungxola okushushu.
Ukuseka isicwangciso sokwakha umtshato kwakhona
Ungenelelo lonyango lokukhohlisa kufuneka luqwalasele konke oku kungentla, kunye nesicwangciso sokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo, kunye nesicwangciso sophuhliso lomntu ngamnye kwiqabane ngalinye kunye nesicwangciso sokwakha umtshato kwakhona ekufuneka simiselwe ukulungiselela imeko enzima yokukrexeza.
Phambi kwalo naluphi na ungenelelo lonyango lokukhohlisa olunokuthi luqwalaselwe kukho izinto ezimbalwa ezithi ziqwalaselwe sesi sibini kunye nonyango oluchaphazelekayo.
Umbono ongakhethi cala ekukopeni
Ingcali yonyango exhasa esi sibini ngokwakha umtshato waso kuya kufuneka igcine umbono ongakhethi cala kwimisebenzi yomkhohlisi.
Nokuba ziphi na iinkolelo kunye nezimvo zabo ezijikeleze ukukopa. Oku kunokuvakala ngathi licebiso elicacileyo nelilula, kodwa kunokuba nzima kunokuba ugqirha ecinga.
Ngokuqinisekileyo kulula ukuzikhumbuza ukuba uphathe umxhasi wakho ngesidima, kunye nonxibelelwano olungenamkhethe kunye nawe njengonyango kodwa ngaba ungatsho nyani nangokuhlangeneyo ukuba ungahlala ungakhethi? Kungenxa yokuba ukuba awukwazi umthengi uya kuyazi kwaye inokonakalisa inkqubo yokuphilisa.
Esi sisiqalo salo lonke ungenelelo olulungileyo lonyango ekukhohliseni kuba ukuba awukwazi ukuhlala ungakhethi, nokuba ungazi, ngekhe ube nakho ukuxhasa abathengi bakho ukuba baqhubeke ngokupheleleyo nokusola kunye netyala elinokuba lisalele emtshatweni wabo.
Kukule meko ukuba ayonzakalisi, njengenxalenye yongenelelo lonyango lokukopela, ukuqaphela ngokuxoxa ngokuchanekileyo ukuba uliphatha njani ityala nomlingane.
Ukuqwalaselwa okulandelayo yindlela oya kuthi, njengesibini, nisebenze ngayo kwizicwangciso zokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo.
Ngaba uza kusebenzisa i-Therapist enye kuyo yonke into efuna ukusonjululwa, okanye i-Therapist eyahlukileyo ukuxoxa ngemicimbi yakho yobuqu ekusenokwenzeka ukuba ibikhona phambi komtshato?
Olu lungenelelo ngoncedo olubalulekileyo ekukhohliseni kuba ukhetho lunokunceda okanye luthintele inkqubo yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo.
Nazi izinto ezilungileyo nezingalunganga
Ugqirha ofanayo kuyo yonke into
Iinkonzo
Ukuba ugqirha ubonelela ngongenelelo lonyango lokukopela, okanye iziphumo zokukopa, kunye nokunceda ukwakha umtshato kwakhona kwaye basebenza ngokuzimeleyo nomthengi ngamnye ukubanceda balawule nayiphi na imicimbi ababenayo ngaphambi kokukopela, ugqirha uya kuba nokucaca umfanekiso we-backstory yonke.
Baza kuba nokuqonda okuguqukayo phakathi kwesi sibini kwaye baya kuba nakho ukuqonda amandla okwenzeka kwixa elidlulileyo, ukuba batshintsha njani ngoku kwaye banokuthi bacingelwe ukuba bazakutshintsha njani kwixesha elizayo kunye nezizathu ezingunobangela.
Oko kuthetha ukuba baya kuba nakho ukubona izinto ezincinci ezenza ifuthe elikhulu emtshatweni okanye nokuba leliphi na iqabane, ukuba ngcono, okanye ngokubi kwaye banokujongana nale micimbi njengenxalenye yayo yonke inkqubo yonyango.
Bendlela
Nokuba leliphi iqabane lisenokungavakalelwa kukuba banokuchaza ubunyani bamava abo kunyangi wabo.
Umzekelo, iqabane ebeliqhathiwe kusenokwenzeka ukuba lalikhe lathi okanye lenze into (nangaphambi komtshato) ebangele ukuba amaqabane abo angazithembi kwaye ngendlela ethile banokukholelwa ukuba bakwenze kwalula ukukopa, nto leyo enokuthi ube yinto ebalulekileyo kodwa inokuthi ingaphakanyiswa ngenxa yokoyika umgwebo.
Okanye umlingane okrelekrele waziva eswelekile emtshatweni kodwa engacingi ukuba angayichaza loo nto ngenxa yokuziva benetyala ngento abayenzileyo.
Onyangi ngabanye kunye nabacebisi ngemitshato
Oku kunokuba lungenelelo ngoncedo ekukhohliseni kuba ugqirha ngamnye kuya kufuneka ukuba asebenzise ungenelelo lonyango oluxhasa abacebisi bemitshato ungenelelo lonyango ukukopela kunye nokubuyiselwa komtshato. Ngaphandle koko, indlela eyahlukileyo inokubadida abathengi.
Umzekelo; Omnye ugqirha unokuvuma ukusebenza nesikolo esinye sokucinga, okanye ungenelelo lonyango kwaye omnye unokungavumi ngokupheleleyo.
Nangona kunjalo, ukubanakho kweqabane ngalinye lokuba nendawo yokuchaza ukuba baziva njani kwaye basebenze ngemicimbi yabo ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokwenzakalisa amaqabane abo ngakumbi okanye ukubenza bazive benetyala kwaye ngaphandle kokukhathazeka malunga nefuthe elibi elinokubakho emtshatweni (oku Isimo esibuthathaka) sinokunceda ukwakha iqabane ngalinye ngokwalo.
Ngokufanelekileyo, kuya kuba kuhle ukuba bekukho iqela labanyangi ababini abanokusebenza kunye, elinye kunyango lomntu kunye nongenelelo lonyango lokukopela nokwakha umtshato kwakhona.