Umxholo
Ukuthembana nentlonipho zizinto ezisisiseko kulo lonke ulwalamano lwabantu, ngakumbi umtshato. Ngaba iqabane lakho linokuthembela kwilizwi lakho rhoqo ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo? Ubudlelwane emtshatweni abunakuba sempilweni okanye buhlale ngaphandle kwamaqabane omabini enengqibelelo kwizenzo nakumazwi. Ukusilela okunye akunakuphepheka kuwo wonke umtshato. Ke ngoko, ukuthembana akwakhiwanga ngokungabikho kosilelo nakwinzame zokwenyani zamaqabane omabini zokuthatha uxanduva nokuzama ukulungisa oko kusilela. Kubudlelwane obuphilileyo, ukusilela kungakhokelela kukuthembana okukhulu xa kusingathwa ukunyaniseka nothando.
Sonke sikufumana ukungcatshwa kulwalamano lomtshato. Iifom zokungcatsha kubudlelwane zinokwahluka ngokuxhomekeke emntwini okungcatshisileyo. Ukungcatsha kulwalamano lomtshato kunokubakho ngendlela yokuba kuthethwe ngento engekho ngqiqweni okanye uxokiswe ngumhlobo. Umonakalo ochazwe apha luhlobo oluvela kwinto enzima kakhulu njengokungathembeki.
Umonakalo wenkohliso
Ndiwubonile umonakalo wenkohliso kwimitshato emininzi. Ijika ubudlelwane ukusuka ekukhathaleleni nasekuqwalaseleni umzabalazo wamandla. Ukuba isiseko sokuthembana siphuliwe, iqabane eloniweyo lijolise ngokukodwa ekuzameni ukulawula nasekunciphiseni iintlungu zokungcatshwa kubudlelwane bomtshato. Into enzulu ngaphakathi kuthi iyachukumiseka xa sikhohlisiwe saza sangcatshwa. Itshabalalisa inkolelo kwiqabane lethu, kuthi kwaye isibangele ukuba siqale ukubuza konke ebesikholelwa malunga nomtshato wethu.
Abantu abangcatshwayo kubudlelwane bomtshato bahlala bezibuza ukuba kutheni bebeza kuba zizidenge okanye bazizidenge ukuba bathembele kumaqabane abo. Ihlazo lokuxhamla nzulu lenza nzulu inxeba. Rhoqo iqabane elonzakeleyo likholelwa ekubeni ngelinokuthintela ukungcatshwa emtshatweni ukuba bebekrelekrele, belumke ngakumbi okanye besengozini.
Umonakalo owenziwe kumaqabane afumana ukungcatshwa kulwalamano lomtshato uhlala ulingana nokuba ngaba bathathe isigqibo sokuphelisa ubudlelwane okanye hayi. Umlingane oye wangcatshwa uqala ukuvala umnqweno wobudlelwane. Lowo ungcatshwayo uziva ngathi akukho mntu unokuthenjwa kwaye iya kuba bubudenge ukuphinda uthembe umntu ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba elinje. Umlingane ofumana iintlungu zokungcatshwa emtshatweni uhlala esakha udonga lweemvakalelo kubo ukuze angaphinde ayive intlungu. Kukhuseleke kakhulu ukulindela okuncinci kakhulu kulo naluphi na ulwalamano.
Amaqabane angcatshwayo ahlala engabacuphi abangacacanga.
Enye yeziphumo zokungcatshwa emtshatweni kukuba iqabane liba neliso elibukhali ekubekeni iliso kunye nokubuza yonke into enxulumene neqabane labo. Baye bakrokrele kakhulu kwiinjongo zeqabane labo. Ngokwesiqhelo, kubo bonke obunye ubudlelwane bahlala bezibuza ukuba ufuna ntoni omnye umntu. Baye babe novakalelo olukhulu nakoluphi na unxibelelwano apho baziva benoxinzelelo lokwenza omnye umntu onwabe, ngakumbi ukuba baziva ngathi kufuna ukuzincama okuthile kubo. Endaweni yokufuna iindlela zokufumana ukungcatshwa emtshatweni, abantu abajikelezileyo baba ngabantu abajikelezayo.
Owona monakalo wokungcatsha ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo emtshatweni yinkolelo yokuba ubudlelwane bokwenyani abukhuselekanga kunye nokuphulukana nethemba lokusondelana ngokwenyani. Ukuphulukana nethemba kuhlala kukhokelela ekufumaneni lonke ulwalamano kumgama okhuselekileyo. Ubusondeleyo bumele into eyingozi kakhulu. Iqabane elizive lingcatshiwe kubudlelwane liqala ukutyhala iminqweno yokunxibelelana okunzulu nabanye ngaphakathi ezantsi. Abo banobudlelwane kunye neqabane elingcatshiweyo abanakuyiqonda le meko yokuzikhusela kuba usenokubonakala efana ebusweni. Indlela yokubalisa inokubonakala ifana kodwa intliziyo ayisasebenzi.
Eyona nto ingoyena mntu ungoyena mbi wokungcatsha kubudlelwane nokuzonda okunokuvela. Oku kuvela kwinkolelo yokuba ukungcatshwa emtshatweni ngekwakuthintelwe. Kukwasisiphumo sokukholelwa ukuba azinqweneleki. Into yokuba iqabane abathembileyo linokuthotywa lula kwaye balahle ukuthembana emtshatweni bubungqina boku.
Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba umtshato uyaqhubeka okanye awuqhubeki lowo utshatileyo angaphola kwaye afumane ithemba lokusondelana kwakhona. Ukujongana nokungcatshwa emtshatweni kufuna ukutyalomali okwenene kwexesha, umgudu kunye noncedo. Xa iqabane lakho lingcatsha ukuthembela kwakho, ukuyeka ukuzicekisa ngokuxolela sisiqalo. Ukufumana ukungcatsha okudlulileyo kubudlelwane kuthatha umonde omkhulu kunye nokuqonda kuwo omabini amaqabane.