Umxholo
Ngaphambi kokuba sithathe uhambo lwethu lokuphinda sibuyele kwezi zenzo zomtshato zilahliweyo, masibe negalelo kumzuzwana wokukhumbula. Thatha umoya omninzi, phefumlela ngaphakathi kancinci kancinci ngeempumlo, bamba imizuzwana emi-5 kwaye uphefumle kancinci ngomlomo. Ngoku zibandakanye zonke izivamvo zakho njengoko ukhumbula ixesha kunye nendawo apho wena neqabane lakho nadibana khona kuqala. Ubone ntoni, weva ntoni, weva ntoni, njl. Ukukhawuleza phambili kumhla owabhengeza ngawo umtshato wakho kusapho nakwizihlobo. Manenekazi, ngaba bekukho imvakalozwi ephezulu yolonwabo kwilizwi lakho, mhlawumbi ukutsiba ngovuyo kuhamba kunye nokumomotheka okungalawulekiyo, okanye ngaba udlulise iindaba ngelizwi elirhabaxa nelisoyikisayo elimbombozela okuthile ngomtshato? Madoda, andibhekiseli ngqo kwimpendulo yenu kumzekelo okhankanywe mva ... hayi, ndiyadlala. Amadoda anokuyibhengeza ngokuzingca ngokuthetha into enje; "Le nkunzi ityetyisiweyo ifumene intombi yayo."
Emva koko, ukwenziwa kwemitshato kuyenzeka, unokumanga umtshakazi, iwayini kunye nokutya kwaye uhambe uye kwiholide yomtshato kunye nakokonwaba ngonaphakade, kunye nesithandwa sakho osithandayo. Ndiyathetha ukuba yintoni engahambi kakuhle. Kule nqanaba, ukwindalo ephezulu, ezaliswe lulonwabo olungaqhelekanga.
Ukonwaba vs umkhwa wokungazinzi
Ngokwe-Positive Psychology, sinako ukwahlula phakathi kolonwabo lwe-hedonic kunye ne-eudaimonic okanye impilo-ntle, ebhekisa ikakhulu kumava omntu ngokubhekisele kwiimeko zabo, iimeko, imicimbi, iimvakalelo, njl. Usuku lomtshato kunye neHoneymoon umzekelo. Ukonwaba kwe-Eudaimonic luhlobo oluzinzileyo lolonwabo kwaye kubandakanya, umzekelo, ukuqonda okunzulu kwentsingiselo yobomi, intsingiselo ebomini, unxibelelwano, ubuqabane kunye nobuhlobo bokwenyani. Ingcali eyaziwayo ye-Positive Psychology, uNjingalwazi Sonja Lyubomirsky, wazise oonobumba bolonwabo, kunye ne-Happiness Set point theory, kunye nengcinga ye-hedonic adaptation to the world world. Le ithiyori icebisa ukuba amanqanaba ethu olonwabo ahlukile kumntu ngamnye kwaye enziwe ngama-40% avela kwiingcinga zakho, izenzo, kunye nokukhetha, kunye ne-10% emiselwe ziimeko zangaphandle, njengomtshato wakho. Ngapha koko, ithiyori iqukumbela ukuba sonke sinesiseko solonwabo, esenza ama-50% ezinto ezishiyekileyo, apho ulonwabo lwethu luya kubuyela khona emva kwesiganeko esonwabisayo okanye esibi.
Le ithiyori icebisa ukuba umtshato wakho ungonwaba, ngokuzikhethela ngabom kunye nezenzo ozithathayo, ukuphuhlisa nokusebenzisa amaqhinga obuchule, okonwabisayo, azuzisayo, anentsingiselo, anenjongo kunye nexesha elinenjongo, ukuze ulwe nale mpembelelo ye-hedonic adaptation, emtshatweni wakho. Nasi isakhelo esinokulinganiswa sokuphuhlisa isicwangciso sakho kunye neenjongo zokomeleza umtshato wakho kunye nobuhlobo.
KHULA kunye.
Iinjongo.
Qinisekisa ukuba neenjongo ezifanayo kwiindawo ezithile zobomi bakho nolwalamano. Nokuba mkhulu kangakanani okanye umzuzu, iinjongo ekwabelwana ngazo zibalulekile. Bhiyozela impumelelo kunye nokufezekiswa kweenjongo zonke ngendlela enomdla neyonwabisayo.
Yinyani.
Xa ushenxisa iimvakalelo, ukuqonda, umkhethe, kunye nokucingela kuyo nayiphi na imeko, iinyani ziya kuzityhila, zikunike inyani yokwenyani.
Khetha.
Sebenzisa igalelo lakho elinobuchule kunye nokuyila, ukuphucula iindlela ezintsha zokufikelela kwiinjongo zakho. Cinga ngaphandle kwezi bhokisi.
Ukuzimisela.
Ngaba ngokwenene unentando kunye nokuzimisela ukutshintsha izicwangciso zakho zibe zizenzo, ukuze ufikelele kwiinjongo zakho? Ukuzimisela kwakho kukwamisela ukuzibophelela kwakho kwizicwangciso zakho zomtshato kunye nolwalamano kunye neenjongo.
SMART kunye.
Ukucaciswa.
Yintoni kanye kanye ufuna ukuba iziphumo zokufezekisa iinjongo zakho zibe? Yintoni ongathanda ukuyibona, amava kunye nokuziva njengesiphumo sempumelelo yokuphumelela kwinjongo?
Ukulinganiswa.
Uza kuyilinganisa njani impumelelo kunye nokufezekiswa kweenjongo zakho? Yenza esakho isixhobo sokulinganisa, esinokubandakanya amanyathelo okulinganisa okanye wokulinganisa aya kusebenza kwinjongo yakho, kwiimeko zakho ezizodwa, kunye nezixhobo onazo.
Ukufikelela.
Ngaba unazo iinjongo ezinokwenzeka, ezinokufikelelwa ngokokwazi kwakho? Chonga iimpawu onokuzilawula, kunye nezo zingaphandle kolawulo lwakho. Injongo ayisosifiso okanye iphupha, ke ngoko ukufezekiswa kwenjongo yakho akufuneki kubandakanya ukuxhomekeka kwabanye abantu okanye kwizenzo zabo. Uya kuthi ngoko nangoko uqaphele ezo njongo ngalo mzuzu kufuneka ufake amagama athi "ukuba" kunye "kuphela emva koko".
Ukufaneleka.
Ngaba zibaluleke kangakanani iinjongo zakho ekuphuculeni umtshato, ubuhlobo kunye nentlalontle? Ngaba kufanelekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba uzive ufuna ukuyibeka kwindawo yokuqala?
Ixesha.
Xoxa kwaye uvumelane ngexesha elifanelekileyo apho ungathanda ukufezekisa iinjongo zakho. Qaphela ukuba eli xesha libekiweyo alifanele liphazanyiswe ngumhla obekiweyo, kwaye ngekhe libangele uxinzelelo, uloyiko kunye / okanye uxinzelelo kuwe okanye kwiqabane lakho. Sisikhokelo.
Ngelixa uxakekile ucinga ngeenjongo zakho kunye nezicwangciso zomsebenzi, khumbula ukonwaba omnye nomnye, hleka kunye, kwaye unombulelo ngelungelo lokuba nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni kunye neqabane lakho, ngelixa uhamba nohambo olumangalisayo, olubizwa NGOBOMI .