Amanqanaba asixhenxe oKwahlukana kunye neengcebiso zokuphilisa ngokukhawuleza

Umbhali: Peter Berry
Umhla Wokudalwa: 17 Eyekhala 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 21 Isilimela 2024
Anonim
Amanqanaba asixhenxe oKwahlukana kunye neengcebiso zokuphilisa ngokukhawuleza - I-Psychology
Amanqanaba asixhenxe oKwahlukana kunye neengcebiso zokuphilisa ngokukhawuleza - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Ukwahlukana akunzima kuphela, banokuziva ngathi kukho into ngaphakathi kuthi efileyo.

Ukuphulukana nolwalamano kuhlala kunokuba buhlungu njengokulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo. Kwaye iyavakala- lo mntu ubukhe wanxibelelana naye kakhulu, obelinxalenye yobomi bakho obudibeneyo, uye ngesiquphe wahamba; ukungafikeleleki, ukungafikeleleki.

Nokuba uqhawulo-mtshato lwalulungile kwaye luhleli ngoxolo, kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokuhlala ungabahlobo (ephinda iphinde ibe nengxoxo enkulu), akunakwenzeka ukuba uyicime ngokupheleleyo loo mvakalelo yelahleko epheleleyo.

Kwaye kuyilahleko- yilahleko yekamva obufote nabo. Ukuphulukana nawo onke la maxesha amnandi owabelana ngawo, okanye lawo ucinga ukuba ayeza kwakamsinya.

Amanqanaba asixhenxe okwahlukana


Ke sihamba njani ukusuka ekuqhekekeni kokukhupha intliziyo okanye amanqanaba okuphuka kwentliziyo okanye amanqanaba asixhenxe osizi kuqhekeko?

Ukufumana izigaba zokwahlukana kubandakanya ukulungisa amathemba ethu aphelileyo, amaphupha kunye neentliziyo. Ewe, oyena mntu uphilisayo kuwo onke amanxeba ngokweemvakalelo lixesha. Nangona kunjalo, kukho izinto ezimbalwa onokuzenza ukuze uzincede ngokwamacandelo okwahlukana.

Okokuqala, yazi ukuba ukudlula kwintliziyo eyaphukileyo kufana kakhulu nokulungisa usizi lwalo naluphi na uhlobo. Uya kudlula ezininzi, ukuba ayizizo zonke, ngokwamanqanaba afanayo okwahlukana:

Inqanaba 1: Umothuko

Umothuko lelinye lamanqanaba okwaqhekeka kuxa ungekholelwa ukuba oku kuyenzeka kuwe.

Unokuthetha izinto ezinje, "Kutheni le nto isenzeka kum?" okanye "Kwenzeka njani?"

Awungekhe uvumelane nenyani yokuba ujongene nento etshabalalisa umhlaba. Le yenye yeempendulo eziphambili kwilahleko kunye nelinye lamanqanaba angenakuphepheka okwahlukana kunye neemvakalelo ezinjalo emva kokuba uqhawulo-mtshato luqala phantse kwangoko.


Kutheni le nto sihamba kweli nqanaba:

Kweli nqanaba, amava ayafana nengozi yomzimba. Ibuhlungu ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwaye uya kuba sisidenge. Lo ngumlo wethu wendalo wokulwa, ukubhabha, okanye ukuphendula okomkhenkce kwaye ekugqibeleni ulungiselela ingqondo yakho impendulo.

Inqanaba 2: Ukuphika

Eli lelinye lamanqanaba okwahlukana okwenzeka ngaphambi, ngexesha, nasemva koqhawulo lokwenene. Sinokuzenza ngathi akukho nto iphosakeleyo. Nje ukuba ukwahlukana kube semthethweni, sinokwenza ngathi ayonto, okanye sikholelwe ukuba ngumlo nje kwaye sizokwazi ukuwenza.

Sisoloko sijonga iifowuni zethu ukubona ukuba akukho myalezo na.

Sihlala siziqinisekisa ngo "Mhlawumbi oku kuzakubangcono emva kwexesha elithile" okanye "Ayisiyonyani le. Kukunyanzelwa nje. ” Siyathemba ukuba yonke into izakubuyela esiqhelweni, nangona inzulu ngaphakathi siyazi ukuba ayinakuba njalo.

Kutheni le nto sihamba kweli nqanaba:


Oku kukuphendula ngokwendalo komzimba nengqondo ukutsala nantoni na emkayo. Kukho umbono wethemba lokuba okwenzekayo ngalo mzuzu akuyonyani. Isizathu kukuba ingqondo yethu iyala ukwamkela ukothuka ngequbuliso.

Inqanaba 3: Ukuzahlula

Ngoku ukuba ulubonile ulwahlulo olubi, unokuziva ukuba ufuna ixesha lokuba wedwa ukuze ungene ngaphakathi kwiimvakalelo zakho kwaye uchache ngokupheleleyo ekwahlukaneni. Eli lelinye lamanqanaba okwahlukana okunokuba kukhulu kwaye kubemdaka.

Uyakufumana uzibuza, "Andazi ukuba ndenze ntoni ngobomi bam ngoku" okanye "Ndingubani ngaphandle kwegama>."

Kutheni le nto sihamba kweli nqanaba:

Ukuzahlula lelinye lamanqanaba okwahlukana angenakutyiwa. Sisakhiwo esingenakuphepheka apho uya kunyanzelwa umhlaba. Oku kwenzeka ngenxa yokuba isiqu sethu sangaphakathi ekugqibeleni siyayamkela ilahleko kwaye sifuna ixesha elithile lokuyifumana.

Inqanaba 4: Umsindo

“Angayenza njani le nto kum?”

Sivakalelwa ngathi siyabacaphukela, kwaye sixelela wonke umntu oya kuthi amamele ukuba babembi kangakanani, kwaye basenzakalise kangakanani. Inyani, nangona kunjalo, kukuba singababuyisa ngomzuzwana ukuba bangatsalela umnxeba.

Kutheni le nto sihamba kweli nqanaba:

Olu lolunye lweempawu ezisempilweni zokuba ekugqibeleni uyachacha. Ukuba uyakwazi ukukhupha iimpembelelo zomsindo ngaphakathi kwakho, oko kuthetha ukuba ubuza ukuba yintoni engahambanga kakuhle kwaye ekugqibeleni uyakubuya uzixabise.

Inqanaba 5: Ukuxoxa

Senza nantoni na ukubabuyisa! Siza kubaxolela ngayo nantoni na abayenzileyo. Sifuna ngandlela thile ukukhutshwa kulomgxobhozo unzulu, umnyama wokuphelelwa lithemba kwaye senze izinto njengangaphambili.

Ngokwesiqhelo uya kuzifumana usithi, "Ubudlelwane buza kusebenza ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ndinomonde / ukuqonda ngakumbi?" "Ngaba singabuyelana ukuba ndibeka into ebiyilindelwe nguwe kwi-ex yakho?"

Kutheni le nto sihamba kweli nqanaba:

Uye watshintsha utshintsho olukhulu ebomini bakho kwaye kweli nqanaba, uzama ukuguqula izinto ngendlela efanelekileyo. Eli lelinye lamanqanaba okwahlukana apho ingqondo yakho ikunyanzela ukuba uphinde uqhagamshele ne-ex yakho ukuze usebenze ngale meko.

Inqanaba 6: Uxinzelelo

Ngelixa sijongana nokwahlukana, siziva sidandatheke ngokupheleleyo. Siyakhala sizibuze ukuba yintoni le siyenzileyo ukuze sikufanele oku. Ukuphuma ebhedini kusasa ngumsebenzi kwaye konke ofuna ukukwenza kukuzifaka kwiimvakalelo zakho ezibuhlungu.

Uyakuva izinto ezinje, "Akukho nto ndiyenzayo inokubabuyisa," okanye "Ubomi bam abunathemba ngaphandle kwabo."

Nangona eli nqanaba lelona linzima, kukho ukukhanya ngaphambili-usendleleni eya kunyango lokwenyani. Ewe kunjalo, ukuba eli nqanaba liqhubeka ixesha elide, kuya kufuneka uthathele ingqalelo ukufuna uncedo kwiingcali, kubahlobo, nakusapho. Khumbula, akukho ntloni ukucela uncedo.

Kutheni le nto sihamba kweli nqanaba:

Njengenye yamanqanaba okwahlukana, oku kuvula indlela yokuphuma kweemvakalelo. Yindlela yendalo yokusabela kwayo nayiphi na into engathandekiyo eyenzekayo ebomini bakho. Uya kuzibuza ukuba ulungile ngokwaneleyo okanye wenze ntoni ukuze ufanele le nto, kodwa ukuba wenza imizamo elungileyo.

Inqanaba 7: Ukwamkelwa

Kulapho kuqala khona unyango lwangempela, kwaye kwangoko ungafikelela kwesi sigaba ngcono. Eli linqanaba apho ekugqibeleni uqaphele ukuba kugqityiwe, kwaye akukho kubuya mva.

Ukwamkelwa yindawo entle njengoko kuvula amathuba amaninzi amava onothando olungcono. Ukwamkela ukwahlukana ekugqibeleni kuphelisa umjikelo wentlungu yamanqanaba asi-7 xa uqala ukuthi, "Ndiyaphila," okanye "Ukwahlukana kwakunzima kodwa ndiyazi ukuba kwenzeke kum."

Kutheni le nto sihamba kweli nqanaba:

Xa ufika kweli nqanaba lentlungu emva kokuqhekeka, oko kuthetha ukuba uyakwamkela ukwahlukana kwaye ubuyisele ukubambelela kwakho ebomini. Oku kuyimpumelelo kwaye kuthetha ukuba awuzukujonga ngasemva kwakhona. Uyaqonda ukuba izinto ezintle ziza ngendlela yakho.

Kwividiyo engezantsi, uSusan Winter uthi iziphelo zinzima kodwa ukwamkela ukuba kudlulile kwaye ukugcina ithemba kubalulekile ukuya phambili. Jonga iingcebiso zakhe:

Iingcebiso ezi-5 zokuphilisa ngokukhawuleza

Ke, sifika njani kweli nqanaba ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngaphandle kobuhlungu kangangoko kunokwenzeka? Nazi ezinye zeengcebiso zokudlulisa izigaba zentliziyo ebuhlungu ngokulula:

1. Yikhalile

Iinyembezi ziyaphilisa. Iinyembezi ziyacoca. Mazihambe.

Banokususa ityhefu, uxinzelelo olusezantsi, baphakamise imo yethu kwaye basinike amandla okwenza inkqubo yokwahlukana. Njengokuxolela, iinyembezi ziyi-100% kuwe, hayi kubo. Uyalila ukukhulula usizi oluziva.

2. Buyisa amandla akho

Endaweni yokuhlala kumaza osizi, khumbula ukuba nguwe olawulayo ngoku-hayi bona. Kubudlelwane, asiqondi kodwa umntu esimthandayo ubambe amandla amaninzi kuthi. Xa konke kugqityiwe, kubuyise kubo.

Yazi ukuba ulawula eyakho ingqondo kunye neemvakalelo- kwaye nguwe kuphela onamandla okuzikhulula. Ke, zikhulule iinkumbulo ezimbi, kodwa bambelela kwezintle.

3.Yiba nobulali nesiqu sakho

Iimvakalelo zakho emva koqhawulo-mtshato zinokungcungcutheka. Yiba nobubele nothando nesiqu sakho! Yenza imephu ngaphandle kwesicwangciso sento encinci yonke imihla oza kuyenzela wena ukuze uzive ukhethekile.

Fumana inkangeleko entsha, ikhabethe elitsha, okanye uziphathe ngento obungenakuyithanda. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ibe ngaphezu kwento encinci, kodwa mayibe malunga nawe neemfuno zakho zotshintsho, endaweni yoko malunga nabanye abantu bonke.

Ukuziqhekeza, ukuzisizela, ukutya okungekho mpilweni, utywala, kunye neziyobisi akuyi kusebenza kwaphela. Intle yakho, uthando lwakho lufanelwe ngcono.

Kwaye bhala, bhala, bhala. Ngalo lonke ixesha unento ekufuneka uyithethile kubo, ngalo lonke ixesha usiva imvakalelo ibhibilika ngaphakathi kwakho, ichaze; yenze yonke phantsi. Ngokukhethekileyo ngepeni nephepha.

4. Xolela

Uxolelo ayikho ngomnye umntu. Imalunga nawe. Neemvakalelo zakho.

Inkcazo yokuxolela "kukuyeka ukuziva unomsindo ngakuye (umntu owenze into engalunganga): Ukuyeka ukugxeka (umntu)" kunye "nokuyeka ingqumbo okanye ukubanga ukuba uyayifuna." Ngalesi senzo, ukhulula ingqondo, umzimba, kunye nomphefumlo wakho ukuba uye phambili ngokwenyani kwindawo engcono.

5. Sukuyithatha buqu

Yazi ukuba obu budlelwane buphelile kuba ibingelolwalamano ulungileyo kuwe ... okanye nabo.

Ayinanto yakwenza nawe. Uyathandeka kakhulu, kwaye ufanele ukuthandwa ... ngumntu olungileyo.

Khumbula ukuba imfihlelo yokufumana intliziyo eyaphukileyo ilele kuwe. Zijikeleze rhoqo kangangoko unako kunye nabahlali bakho kunye nabantu abakuthandayo.

Yamkela inkxaso yabo kunye nezikhumbuzo zabo zokuba umhle, unenkathalo, unothando kwaye ufanele ukuthandwa. Amanyathelo osana aya kukusa apho ukuba yile nto uyifunayo.

Yise kude

Ezinye iintlobo zentlungu ebomini ayinakuphepheka. Nangona kunjalo, nje ukuba ubamkele kwaye ubamkele njengenxalenye yohambo lwakho oluya kubomi obonwabisayo nobonelisayo, uya kufumana amandla amancinci okusingatha iintlungu zakho kwaye ngakumbi ngakumbi, amanqanaba ohlukeneyo okwahlukana.

Nantoni na oyenzayo, qiniseka ukuba uqhubeka, kwaye uqhubeke nokuhamba, kwicala elifanelekileyo.