Umxholo
- Kutheni abazali bekhanyela iziphumo ezibi zoqhawulo mtshato ebantwaneni
- Iziphumo zoqhawulo mtshato kwimpilo yengqondo yomntwana
- Uyisindisa njani impilo yengqondo nengqondo yomntwana wakho
- 1. Xoxa ngokubambisana njengomzali kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili
- 2. Sukumhlalisa kakubi iqabane lakho langaphambili phambi kwabantwana bakho
- 3. Kuphephe ukubeka umntwana wakho embindini
- 4. Sukuxoka ebantwaneni bakho
- Iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho zibalulekile
Ukubeka udonga lokukhanyela, ukudideka ngokupheleleyo, umsindo ukutyela ngaphakathi, uzibek 'ityala, ukuzibophelela, ukungabikho kokuthembana, umzabalazo wemihla ngemihla ungabi ngabazali bakho.
Ezi zezinye zeziphumo zokwenene zoqhawulo mtshato ebantwaneni, emva kokuba abazali bahlukene.
Inye kuphela into yokuba abo bantwana sele bekhulile babe ngabantu abadala, abasalwayo neziphumo zoqhawulo mtshato lwabazali babo.
Owona myalezo uphambili kule vidiyo kukuba ungabagxothi abantwana njengamaxhoba oqhawulo-mtshato kwaye ujonge ngakumbi kwiziphumo zexesha elide zoqhawulo-mtshato kwimpilo yengqondo yabantwana.
Ukanti, uninzi lwabazali luyayiphika imiphumo emibi yoqhawulo-mtshato kwimpilo yengqondo yomntwana wabo, ngakumbi xa kubonakala ngathi "mncinci" ukuba bangafumana imali ngokweemvakalelo ngokwahlukana kwabazali babo.
Okulusizi kukuba, inyani yefuthe loqhawulo mtshato ebantwaneni yahlukile.
Kutheni abazali bekhanyela iziphumo ezibi zoqhawulo mtshato ebantwaneni
Malunga neminyaka esi-8 eyadlulayo, iTelegraph yathetha ngophando oluchaza ukuba kutheni abazali behlala bekhanyela malunga neziphumo ezibi zoqhawulo-mtshato kwimpilo yengqondo yomntwana wabo.
Abaphandi abasebenza kolu phononongo benze udliwanondlebe nabazali bobabini nabantwana babo.
Kuxeliwe, abantwana babona abazali babo besilwa amatyeli amaninzi kunokuba abazali beqonda, kwaye abazali abane kwabahlanu bathi bakholelwa ukuba abantwana babo "bahlangabezana kakuhle noqhawulo mtshato".
Kwangelo xesha, ngokophando:
- kuphela sisihlanu kubantwana ekuhlolwe kubo abathi bayavuya ukuba abazali babo baqhawule umtshato,
- owesithathu wabaphenduli uthe baziva bexhelekile
- uninzi lwabantwana ekwenziwa uphando kubo bathi bayazifihla iimvakalelo zabo malunga noqhawulo-mtshato lwabazali.
Ababhali bophando bothuswe kukubona umsantsa omkhulu phakathi kweempendulo abazifumene kubazali abaqhawule umtshato nakubantwana babo.
Ezi zinto zifunyanisiweyo zibakhokelele ekubeni bakholelwe ukuba abazali, abaya kuqhawulo mtshato, abakhanyeli kodwa endaweni yoko abazi ukuba abanye, ababandakanyeka ebomini babo, kubandakanya nabantwana babo, bahlangabezana njani nolu hlukelo.
Kuyinyani ukuba kwezinye iimeko uqhawulo-mtshato lunokusindisa impilo yengqondo yabantwana bakho, ngakumbi ukuba uthandana nomyeni okanye inkosikazi yakho.
Zonke iimeko zahlukile, kodwa iziphumo zempilo yengqondo yomntwana wakho ngokuqinisekileyo ziya kuba zibi.
Ke, nokuba iyintoni na imeko yakho, ukuba uyiphatha ngokungekho mthethweni kwaye ususa iziphumo ezibi zoqhawulo-mtshato kwimpilo yengqondo yomntwana wakho, banokufumana ubunzima kwimicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.
Iziphumo zoqhawulo mtshato kwimpilo yengqondo yomntwana
Izifundo ezininzi kwiminyaka edlulileyo ziye zafakazela ukuba akukho budala bulungileyo xa umntwana "ekhuselekile" kwiziphumo ezibi zoqhawulo mtshato.
Isifundo, esapapashwa kwiphephancwadi lePaediatr Child Health emva phaya ngo-2000, sagubungela isihloko esixoxwe ngabazali abaninzi ngexesha leseshoni yonyango malunga nokuba abantwana bangakhuseleka na kukwahlukana kwabazali.
Uphononongo lubonise ukuba abantwana bayo yonke iminyaka banovakalelo kukwahlukana kwabazali, kwaye iimpendulo zabo zichazwe ngendlela ehambelana nenqanaba lokukhula kwabo.
Isifundo sikwabandakanye uluhlu olubanzi lweendlela zokuziphatha kubantwana abachaphazeleka kukwahlukana kwabazali:
- Ukuhlehla
- ixhala
- iimpawu zokudakumba
- ukucaphuka okuphezulu
- ukungathobeli
Ukuziphatha okukhankanywe apha ngasentla akuchaphazeli ubudlelwane babantwana nabazali kuphela, kodwa kunye nolunye ubudlelwane boluntu kunye nokusebenza kwezemfundo.
Ngokuqaphelekayo, abazali abathathe inxaxheba kolu phononongo bathi bebengakulungelanga ukutshintsha indlela abaziphethe ngayo abantwana babo kwaye bebengazi ukuba bayikhusela njani impilo yengqondo yomntwana ngexesha loqhawulo-mtshato.
Uyisindisa njani impilo yengqondo nengqondo yomntwana wakho
Akunakwenzeka ukuthintela ngokupheleleyo iimpembelelo zoqhawulo mtshato kwimpilo yengqondo yomntwana wakho.
Nangona kunjalo, kukho izinto ezimbalwa onokuzenza ukunciphisa ezi ziphumo zingalunganga kwaye uxhase impilo yengqondo yomntwana wakho ngexesha loqhawulo mtshato.
1. Xoxa ngokubambisana njengomzali kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili
Ngokuyinxenye, uqhawulo-mtshato lunokuba yinto yokuzingca. Nangona kunjalo, akukho ndawo yokuzingca, xa kuziwa ekukhuliseni umntwana wakho emva koqhawulo-mtshato, ngakumbi xa ujonga iziphumo ezingalunganga zempilo yengqondo ezinokulandela ukwahlukana kwabazali.
Kukunceda njani ukuba ngumzali ngempilo yengqondo yomntwana wakho?
IZiko leZifundo zoSapho livavanye izifundo ezingama-54 kwiziphumo ezahlukileyo zokuba ngumzali ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana, ezibonisa ukuba:
- Zonke izifundo ezingama-54 zifumanise ukuba abantwana abavela kwiintsapho ezikhulisa abantwana babaneziphumo ezingcono kunabantwana abavela kwiintsapho ezikhulisa abantwana ngokwasemzimbeni ngokubhekisele kwimpumelelo yezifundo, impilo yeemvakalelo, iingxaki zokuziphatha, kunye nezifo ezinxulumene noxinzelelo.
- Xa izinto ezahlukeneyo zoxinzelelo zibandakanyiwe, njengongquzulwano lwabazali kunye nengeniso yosapho, abantwana abavela kwiintsapho zabazali baba kunye baneziphumo ezingcono.
- Abantwana abaphuma kwiintsapho ezinomzali omnye banamathuba amaninzi okuba nobudlelwane obude nomnye wabazali, ochaphazela nolunye ulwalamano kwezentlalo.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba uninzi lwabazali abaqhawule umtshato khange bavumelane okanye ngokuzithandela bavumelane kwisicwangciso sobuzali ngokubambisana xa behlukana ngokwahlukana kwabo.
Kubalulekile ukuba bobabini abazali baxoxe ngokubambisana njengomzali ngaphambi kokuba uqhawulo-mtshato lugqitywe, hayi emva kokuba wohlukene neqabane lakho. Ngoba?
Xa uxelela umntwana wakho malunga nokuthatha isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato, uya kubhalwa ngeetoni zemibuzo malunga nokuba inyani iyakutshintsha njani kubo kwaye bazokwazi kanjani ukuchitha ixesha nobabini.
Ukushiya le mibuzo ingaphendulwanga kuya kushiya umntwana wakho edidekile, ebangela ukuba abuze uthando lwakho kwaye abanyanzele ukuba bazibek 'ityala ngoqhawulo mtshato.
Kuya kufuneka uye kubazali bobuqabane unentlalo-ntle yomntwana wakho engqondweni.
Umntwana wakho kufanelekile ukuba ayazi le nto, kwaye ezona zinolwazi oluthe vetshe malunga nesicwangciso sakho sokuba ngumzali, ziya kuba ngcono. Kuya kufuneka bazi, yeyiphi inkqubo abaza kuyilandela, kwaye kufuneka ubenze bazive beqhelekile ngayo.
Kwaye, ngelixa usazisa abantwana malunga nesigqibo sakho, kubalulekile ukuba ukwenze kunye neqabane lakho kunye nangembeko.
2. Sukumhlalisa kakubi iqabane lakho langaphambili phambi kwabantwana bakho
Omnye wabaphenduli kwividiyo ye-BuzzFeed esithethe ngayo kwintshayelelo ubalise ngamava akhe okuqhawula umtshato kwabazali bakhe xa wayekwishumi elivisayo.
Eminye yemicimbi ebimkhathaza kakhulu kule meko ngumama wakhe ukunyelisa utata, nto leyo angakwaziyo ukuyimela.
Iimeko ezinjalo ziqhelekile ngexesha loqhawulo-mtshato. Iimvakalelo abahlangabezana nazo omabini amaqela ziluhlaza, abazali bahamba kwintlungu kunye noxinzelelo, okwenza kube nzima ukulawula imeko yongquzulwano kunye nabatshati babo bangaphambili.
Nangona kunjalo, Ukungcungcuthekisa iqabane lakho langaphambili phambi kwabantwana bakho kunokubenza babe neentloni, ndingasathethi ke ngemvakalelo yokudideka nokungakholelwa eya kuthi ibenze babe noxinzelelo ngakumbi.
Ngapha koko, ukungcolisa ulwalamano lwakho nomlingane wakho ngaphambili kunokuba neziphumo ezibi kwisiphumo soqhawulo mtshato.
Amagqwetha alumkisa ukuba ukungcolisa igama lomlingane kungakhokelela kulungiso lokugcina, kwimeko ezimbi, omnye wabazali unokufumana isithintelo.
E-Tennessee, umzekelo, ukwenza ingxelo ehlekisayo kunokubangela ukuba ubanjwe ngokudelela inkundla, ungasathethi ke ukuba uya kunyanzelwa ukuba uhlawule isibonelelo sokubangela ukubandezeleka ngokweemvakalelo kumntwana wakho nakwiqabane lakho langaphambili.
Uqhawulo-mtshato sele ingamava abuhlungu kuwe nakumntwana wakho. Sukuyenza mandundu ngakumbi kubo ngokuphulukana nolawulo kwinto ebaxelela yona.
Nokuba yeyiphi na imeko ekhokelele kuqhawulo-mtshato, yimpilo yomntwana wakho engokwengqondo nengokweemvakalelo ekufuneka uyibeke kwindawo yokuqala.
3. Kuphephe ukubeka umntwana wakho embindini
Nangona umntwana wakho elixhoba lomtshato wakho, oko akuthethi ukuba bathathe inxaxheba kuzo zonke iimeko ezinxulumene nalo.
Abazali abaninzi benza impazamo ngokubandakanya abantwana babo kwiingxoxo ezahlukeneyo ezinxulumene noqhawulo mtshato. Kwezi ngxoxo, abantwana bayasetyenziswa njengabalamli, abathi abazali babaqhathe ukuze bafumane isiphumo abasifunayo.
Ngale ndlela abazali bafaka abantwana babo embindini, becinga ukuba ngokwenza njalo benza okona kulungileyo ebantwaneni babo. Ngokwenyani, bayayonakalisa impilo yengqondo yomntwana wabo.
Kukho iimeko ezi-3 eziqhelekileyo xa abazali bebeka abantwana babo embindini ukulungisa ukungavisisani okunxulumene noqhawulo-mtshato.
- Sebenzisa umntwana ukwenza isicwangciso sobuzali ngokubambisana. Oku kuhlala kuthetha ukuba omnye umzali unokuzama ukunyanzela iimfuno zabo zokuba ngumzali kwiqabane labo langaphambili ngabantwana babo. Ngokwenyani, nangona kunjalo, umntwana wakho akunakulindeleka ukuba abe yeyona ngcali ibalaseleyo kubazali. Ukuba ufuna umntwana wakho abandakanyeke ekwenzeni isicwangciso sobuzali bobabini, buza uluvo lwabo, unganyanzeli umbono wakho kubo.
- Ukuxoxa ngezigqibo zeqabane langaphambili nomntwana. Oku kuqhagamshelwe kwindawo yangaphambili. Awuyi kungqina nantoni na kwaye uza kufaka ukungathembani kuni nobabini.
- Ukubuza umntwana wakho ukuba afumanise malunga nobudlelwane obutsha beqabane lakho langaphambili. Oku kukungakhathali kwaye kubuntwana, kodwa iimeko ezinje zinqabile. Nokuba umntwana wakho akakakhuli ngokwaneleyo ukuba aqonde ukuba kutheni usenza loo nto, xa sele ekhulile, baya kuyazi into yokuba baqhathiwe kwaye baya kulahla ukuthembela kwakho kuwe.
Akukho sizathu sokuba ubeke umntwana wakho embindini ukusombulula nakuphi na ukungaqondani ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili niya. Baya kuziva behlukane phakathi kwaye bebuhlungu, ngokuthe ngcembe bephelelwa kukuthemba kubazali babo bobabini.
Jonga kwakhona: 7 Izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuqhawula umtshato
4. Sukuxoka ebantwaneni bakho
Xa usiya kuqhawulo-mtshato, abazali bahlala bengabelani ngazo zonke iinkcukacha zenkqubo nabantwana babo, kwaye kuyinto entle leyo. Ngale ndlela, uqhawulo-mtshato alwenzi monakalo omncinci kwimpilo yengqondo yomntwana kunokuba kunokwenzeka ukuba bezazi zonke iinkcukacha ezothusayo zalo.
Nangona kunjalo, ukugcina iinkcukacha zoqhawulo mtshato akufani nokuxokisa abantwana bakho malunga nendlela ubudlelwane bosapho obuza kutshintsha ngayo emva kwayo.
Cinga ngale meko ilandelayo.
Utata uyalushiya usapho. Usapho lunomntwana, intombazana eneminyaka eli-7 ubudala. Intombazana ibuza utata wayo ukuba ingaba iyahamba na ngenxa yakhe.
Utata uthi akasokuze amshiye kwaye uya kudibana naye ukuphuma kwesikolo yonke imihla ukuya ekhaya, nangona, emva koqhawulo-mtshato, baphela bedibana ngaphantsi kwesiqingatha senyanga ezintathu.
Unokubona ngokulula ubuxoki obumhlophe. Utata wayezama ukukhusela intlalontle yomntwana, nangona kunjalo, wasilela ekufezekiseni ulindelo lwakhe njengoko wayecacile ukuba akazukukwenza oko akuthembisileyo.
Intombazana iqala ukuzibek 'ityala ngokuziphatha kukatata wayo, ibangele uxinzelelo ngakumbi kuye, kwaye, ekugqibeleni, iingxaki zempilo yakhe yengqondo nangokomzimba, ngenxa yoxinzelelo oluqhubekayo.
Ke, ulumke malunga nento oyithembisayo okanye uxoka malunga nomntwana wakho. Abancinci bona, kokukhona baya kuwathatha amazwi akho ngokoqobo.
Ukuthintela ukukhathazeka, uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo, njengoko umntwana wakho eqala ukuzibek 'ityala ngoqhawulo mtshato, zama ukuthembeka kangangoko kwiincoko zakho nabo.
Iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho zibalulekile
Nokuba uhamba ngokwahlukana ngoxolo nentlonipho, le iseyimeko yoxinzelelo kumntwana wakho.
Awunokwabelana nazo zonke iinkcukacha zoqhawulo mtshato nomntwana wakho, kodwa nobabini neqabane lakho kunyanzelekile ukuba ninyamekele impilo kunye neemvakalelo zomntwana wakho.
Ke, njengoko uqhubeka uqhawulo-mtshato, buza umntwana wakho ukuba uziva njani ngokwahlukana kwakho. Yabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho ngokunjalo, kodwa kuphephe ukubeka ityala kwiqabane lakho ngale meko.
Umsebenzi wakho kukukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba abelane ngeemvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo kuyo yonke inkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato nasemva kokuba uqhawulo mtshato ugqityiwe.
Xoxa ngesicwangciso sobuzali bobambiswano, hlala uhlonipha, sukubeka abantwana bakho embindini, kwaye uthembeke kubo.
Khumbula, nangona kunjalo, ukuba awukwazi ukubakhusela ngokupheleleyo abantwana bakho ukuba bangonzakali. Abantwana bathambekele kwiimvakalelo zabo ngokuzolileyo, ngakumbi ukuba bakwiminyaka yeshumi elivisayo.
Kule meko, kubalulekile ukwenza imeko yenkxaso kunye nokuqonda kunye nokuphepha ukugweba. Oku kuyakumnceda umntwana wakho ukuba aqhawule umtshato kunye neziphumo ezincinci kwimpilo yakhe yengqondo.