Ukunyaniseka kwezesondo- Izizathu ezisi-7 eziqhubela uMntu ekulahlekeni

Umbhali: John Stephens
Umhla Wokudalwa: 25 Eyomqungu 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 27 Isilimela 2024
Anonim
Ukunyaniseka kwezesondo- Izizathu ezisi-7 eziqhubela uMntu ekulahlekeni - I-Psychology
Ukunyaniseka kwezesondo- Izizathu ezisi-7 eziqhubela uMntu ekulahlekeni - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Ukuziphatha kakubi ngokwesondo kuyanda. Kwi-1991, i-15% yamadoda angaphantsi kweminyaka engama-35 axele ukukopa kubafazi babo. Eli nani leqa laya kwiipesenti ezingama-22 ngo-2006 kwaye liyaqhubeka nokukhula. Ngo-1991, i-10% yabasetyhini yaveza ukuba babebaqhathile abayeni babo; ngo-2006 i-14% yamkelwe kukungathembeki ngokwesondo. Isinye kwisithathu sabantu abatshatileyo baya kuba bengathembekanga ngokwesondo ngexesha lomtshato wabo. Uphando lwangoku olwenziwe kwizibini zaseMelika lubonisa ukuba ama-20 ukuya kuma-40% abantu abatshatileyo abatshatileyo kunye nama-20 ukuya kuma-25% abasetyhini abatshatileyo abaza kutshata baya kuba nemicimbi engaphandle komtshato ngexesha lokuphila kwabo.

Oku kunyuka kwesondo ngaphandle komtshato kunokulandelwa emva kwezinto ezininzi, eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kubuchwepheshe bale mihla. I-Intanethi yayisencinci ebutsheni ngo-1991 ke ukudibana nokunxibelelana nesithandwa okanye inkosikazi kwakunzima kakhulu kunanamhlanje, apho ukufumana iqabane elitsha kukucofa nje imouse kude. 1I-0% yemicimbi engaphandle komtshato inokuqala kwayo kwi-Intanethi.


Kwiminyaka engama-90 kwakungekho zindawo zewebhu ezifana nezaziwayo, ashleymadison.com. Abakhohlisi benkulungwane yama-20 kuye kwafuneka batyale imali kwiinyawo ukuze bafumane iqabane kwimisebenzi engaphandle komtshato, kunye nokugcina unxibelelwano. Kodwa namhlanje, iakhawunti ye-imeyile efihliweyo kunye neselfowuni ekhethekileyo enikezelwe ukugcina unxibelelana neqabane lakho lokuthandana kuko konke okudingayo ukuze ugcine ukuthandana ungakhange ubonwe liqabane lakho. Kukho ii -apps ezizodwa ezinokuthi zenze ukunganyaniseki ngokufihla izicatshulwa kunye neenkcukacha zomnxeba.

Enye into enegalelo kukungathembeki kwezesondo kukuba abantu abaninzi abasebatsha banamaqabane amaninzi ngaphambi kokuba batshate kwaye, ekuhambeni komtshato wabo, banokukhathazeka yingcinga yokuba "bavaleleke" kwindoda enye emva kokuba befumene olunye uhlobo lwesondo. inkululeko. Baqala ukuphoswa "ziintsuku zakudala" ukuba baziva ukuba ubomi babo bokwabelana ngesondo buba yinto yesiqhelo okanye enesithukuthezi. Kwaye kunye neqabane elitsha lokwabelana ngesondo kwiwebhusayithi nje, kulula kakhulu ukuba bazibandakanye ekungathembekini ngokwesondo kunokusebenza emtshatweni wabo kunye nembono yokuqonda ukuba izinto ziba mandundu kwigumbi lokulala.


Makhe sijonge idatha emva kokungathembeki

Ezi nkcukacha-manani zaqokelelwa ngo-2017 ke zimele okwenzekayo ngoku. Ngaphaya kwe-1/3 yemitshato, elinye okanye omabini amaqabane ayavuma ukukopa.

  • Iipesenti ezingama-22 zamadoda zithi zikhohlisile kwezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo.
  • I-14% yabasetyhini bayavuma ukukopela kumaqabane abo.
  • I-36% yamadoda nabafazi iyavuma ukuba bayathandana nogxa wabo.
  • I-17% yamadoda nabasetyhini bayavuma ukuba babethandana nomlokazana okanye umlamu.
  • Abantu abaye bakopa ngaphambili 350% kunokwenzeka ngakumbi ukukopa kwakhona; Ngamanye amagama, xa ukhe wakhohlisa, uhlala umkhohlisi
  • Imicimbi inokwenzeka ukuba yenzeke emva kweminyaka emibini yokuqala yomtshato.
  • I-35% yamadoda nabafazi iyavuma ukukopa ngelixa kuhambo lweshishini.
  • I-9% yamadoda iyavuma ukuba banokuba nomcimbi wokuphindezela amaqabane abo.
  • I-14% yabasetyhini bayavuma ukuba banokuba nomcimbi wokuziphindezela kumaqabane abo.
  • I-10% yemicimbi iqala kwi-Intanethi.
  • I-40% yexesha le-intanethi lijika libe yimicimbi yobomi bokwenyani.

Yinto eninzi yabantu abenza ukungathembeki ngokwesondo! Kodwa kutheni? Yintoni eqhuba umntu ukuba alale nomnye umntu ngaphandle kweqabane lakhe, abathembise ngaye ukuba uza kutshata nomntu omnye?


Funda ngokugqithisileyo: Izimvo zeNgcali ezingama-30 zokuba kutheni amadoda ekopa kubudlelwane

Ukungathembeki ngokwesondo: yintoni etyhalela umntu ukuba aphambuke?

Zininzi izinto ezikhuthaza ukungathembeki. Masizidilize.

1. Ukuphucula iziyobisi kubantu abadala

I-Viagra kunye nezinye iziyobisi ezonyusa ukwenziwa kwezesondo ziye zatshintsha umdlalo wamadoda njengoko besondela kubomi obuphakathi. Phambi kwamayeza okwakhiwa, amadoda kwakufuneka anelisekile "ngokujonga nje" kodwa angachukumisi. Nangona ukuqhuba ngokwesondo kwamadoda kuhlala kuphezulu kubo bonke ubomi (abachaphazeleka kangako kukutshintsha kweencindi zamadlala, ezinjengezo zichaphazela ukuqhuba ngokwesondo kwabasetyhini nasemva kokuyeka ukuya exesheni), ngaphambi kokuba amadoda eViagra angenzanga nto kunciphise amandla abo okufumana kunye nokugcina ulwakhiwo .

Yonke loo nto itshintshiwe ngamayeza kunye notyando olunje ngokutshintsha kwe-hip kunye nedolo. Ngokuhamba okuhlaziyiweyo kunye nomsebenzi we-erectile, amadoda afumana ingxaki yobomi bangemva kwexesha anokoyiswa yimvakalelo ye-FOMO (uloyiko lokulahleka) kunye nokwenza ngokwesondo. Banokuziva benomnqweno onamandla wokuqinisa imbonakalo yabo okanye banqwenela ukukonyusa ukuzithemba okunikezelwa ngokukopela kumfazi wabo ofanelekileyo ngokobudala kunye neqabane eliselula, elahlukileyo.

Abasetyhini ngoku banokuhamba ngokuyeka ukuya exesheni ngalo lonke ixesha begcina ukuqhuba kwabo ngokwesondo, enkosi kumayeza athile, nawo. Ngelixa kungekho bhinqa lilingana neViagra, HRT, okanye unyango endaweni yehomoni, inokunciphisa isiphumo sokunciphisa i-libido yotshintsho kubomi obuphakathi. Ukuba owasetyhini akonwabanga ngomtshato wakhe okanye indlela izinto ezihamba ngayo kwigumbi lokulala, ubomi obuphakathi kunokuba yinto ebangela ukuba afune iqabane lokwabelana ngesondo ngaphandle kobudlelwane. Ngapha koko, ukonyuka okukhulu kwamanani okungathembeki ngokwesondo kuphakathi kwe-60s!

2. Apho ukhoyo emtshatweni wakho

Ukungathembeki ngokwesondo kunokwenzeka ngamaxesha athile omtshato. Inqabile kwaphela kwiminyaka emibini yokuqala. Eli ilixesha leholideyokugqibela apho isondo sisentsha kwaye sinomdla, kwaye abatshatileyo bayafumanana ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Akukho sizathu sokufuna iqabane elingaphandle ngesondo; nina nonke niyinto yomnye nomnye.

3. Ukungathembeki ngokwesondo kuya kwenzeka kamva kubudlelwane

Elinye iqabane linokudikwa yindlela yesiqhelo emise ivenkile kwigumbi lokulala: ukwenza uthando kwishedyuli, kunye ne-foreplay efanayo (kuba uyazi kakuhle into ekufuneka uyenzile ukuze shushu) Okanye, ukuba ubudlelwane buphantsi koxinzelelo, kukho ukungavisisani ekhaya okanye isivumelwano sokuhlalisana njengabantu abaza kuhlala kunye "bade bakhule abantwana", lo ngumzekelo wokungathembeki ngokwesondo.

4. Yayinjani imisebenzi yakho yokwabelana ngesondo ngaphambi komtshato

Kukho ubungqina obucebisa ukuba abantu ababenamaqabane amaninzi ezesondo ngaphambi kokuba batshate kunokwenzeka ukuba bakopele kamva kubomi babo bomtshato. Ingcinga kukuba bangangonwabi xa beqonda ukuba kukho ulindelo lokutshata nomntu omnye ixesha elide. Oku akubakhathazi ekuqaleni (emva kwayo yonke loo nto, batshata iqabane lamaphupha abo kwaye abanakuze bakhulelwe xa befuna ukulala nomntu ongenguye lo mntu), kodwa iminyaka elishumi okanye emibini eneqabane elifanayo lesini linokubangela ukubhadula iliso. Baqala ukukhumbula malunga nokuba kwakunjani xa behamba ngokukhululekileyo ukusuka kwiqabane ukuya kwiqabane, befumana imvakalelo emitsha eyahlukileyo, kwaye banokufuna ukwenza loo mnqweno.

Ngokuchasene noko, kukho ukunyuka kokungathembeki ngokwesondo ebantwini, ngakumbi amadoda, angakhange afumane amaqabane amaninzi ngaphambi komtshato. Ngexesha lobudala, bayazibuza ukuba baphoswa yintoni kwaye bazimisela ekuzameni amaqabane amatsha ahlukeneyo ngokwesondo ngaphambi kokuba "lihambile ixesha." Aba bahlala bengamadoda afanayo abathi, ngexesha lobunzima baphakathi nobomi babo, bathengise i-minivan yosapho ngemoto yezemidlalo eqaqambileyo, ukuzama ukubuyisa ulutsha okanye amava abo kulutsha ababengenalo kwasekuqaleni.

5. Ubunzima beBrain

Kukho abantu abathile abanobuchopho obukhuni ngokungafaniyo kwaye oku kunokubabeka emngciphekweni wokungathembeki ngokwesondo. Abo bafuna umngcipheko kunokwenzeka ukuba bangathembeki; Batsaleleke kwimincili yento engekho mthethweni, eyimfihlo, kwaye abakwazi ukulinganisa umngcipheko (wokuphulukana nomtshato wabo) ngokuchasene nesibonelelo (isondo neqabane elahlukileyo) kuba ingqondo yabo ayisebenzi ngoluhlobo. Ingqondo yomlutha ikwabonakala ngathi iyabavumela ukuba bahambe baye kukungathembeki ngokwesondo bengakhange babonakalise kangako kwiziphumo zokuziphatha.

Umnqweno wokwanelisa umlutha (kule meko, umlutha wesondo) ungaphezulu kwaso nasiphi na isigqibo esisengqiqweni abanokuthi basenze. Abantu abo ubuchopho babo bungakwaziyo ukuvuma nokuzikhathalela isazela sabo kunokwenzeka ukuba babe nokuziphatha gwenxa ngokwesondo, njengoko benjalo abo baphakamileyo kwiimpawu ze-neurotic kunye ne-narcissistic.

6. Esona salathisi sikhulu: bakhohlisile ngaphambili

Ke abantu basetyhini abatshata nesithandwa sakhe ababekopa umfazi wakhe, mabalumkiswe. Unamathuba angama-350 okukhohlisa kuwe, kanye njengoko wenzayo kowayesakuba ngumfazi wakhe kunendoda eyayingaqhotyoshelwanga komnye umntu xa wawudibana naye.

7. Unxibelelwano olubi kubudlelwane

Ukuba sinomlingane ongasenzi sizive sixabisekile, sinokuphambuka. Abantu kufuneka batyale ixesha kunye namandla kubudlelwane babo. Ukufumana ukudinwa okungapheliyo kwiminyaka emininzi kuthetha ukuba amandla okwenza umsebenzi ofunekayo ukugcina ubudlelwane obusempilweni nawo asengozini. Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuba unikele ingqalelo kubudlelwane bakho kwaye uthathe ixesha kwimisebenzi enzima yokukhulisa abantwana kunye nokukhathalela abazali ukuze ucofe iqhosha lokuhlaziya emtshatweni wakho. Awufuni kuyibeka kwi-backburner kuba yonke enye into ibonakala ithatha ibhendi yakho yeemvakalelo.

Ukungathembeki ngokwesondo yenye yezona meko zinzima ukujongana nazo

Zininzi iziganeko ezinokuba nefuthe elibi emtshatweni, ezinje ngesifo esinganyangekiyo, ngesiquphe okanye ixesha elide lokungaqeshwa, ukukhutshwa ngenkani ngenxa yokuhanjiswa komsebenzi, okanye imiba yezempilo yomzali okhulileyo. Kodwa akukho nanye etshabalalisayo njengokungathembeki ngokwesondo kwaye kunzima ukubuyela kuko. Yintoni enokwenziwa sisibini ukubuyela umva kule meko iguqula ubomi?

Funa uncedo kwingcali

Kuya kuba ngumceli mngeni omkhulu ukuzama ukuhamba ngokungathembeki ngokwesondo ngokwakho. Funa isikhokelo kumcebisi osapho onamava okanye owomtshato. Babeyibonile le nto ngaphambili kwaye banesicwangciso esivavanyiweyo sokukunceda wena neqabane lakho ukuba nihambe ngeli xesha linzima ngendlela enokuthi ukuba yenziwe ngokuchanekileyo, yomeleze kwaye yomeleze ubudlelwane bakho bomtshato. Isibini kwisithathu sabantu abatshatileyo abaye banamava okungathembeki ngokwesondo bayabuya. Isinye kwisithathu sikhetha ukuhamba kude nobudlelwane, sifumanisa ukuba imeko ayinakulungiswa.

Ngaba isibini sakho sinokuphinda siphume emva kokungathembeki ngokwesondo?

Ngaphambi kokungathembeki ngokwesondo, umtshato wakho uqulethe uthando, inhlonipho kunye nokuthembana. Ukuba awuzange ulifumane eli nqanaba lonxibelelwano, ukungathembeki ngokwesondo kuya kuba sisizathu sokugqibela sokuphelisa umtshato wakho.

Iqabane ebelithandana nalo liyakwazi ukutshintsha indlela eliziphethe ngayo, lijolise ekuchazeni ngokunyaniseka kunye nokusikwa ngokupheleleyo konxibelelwano nobudlelwane nomnye umntu. Nje ukuba umcimbi ufumaneke, ixesha elide iqabane ligcina iimfihlo, ligcina ulwazi, okanye liqhubeka nakuluphi na uhlobo lokuziphatha, kuya kusiba nzima ukuba umtshato uphile.

Iqabane ebelithandana nalo likwenza kube yinto ephambili ukunceda amaqabane alo ukuba azive ekhuselekile kwakhona. Oku kuthetha ukuba iqabane ebelithandana nalo likulungele ukuya kumanyathelo awodwa ukuze liphinde lithembeke iqabane lalo. Ikwathetha ukuba iqabane elingcatshiweyo liya kunikwa ixesha elaneleyo lokuqhubekeka kwaye lichache kwintlungu nakwiintlungu, nokuba kungathatha ixesha elide kuneqabane elithandanayo licinga ukuba kufanelekile.

Umlingane ochaphazelekayo kukungathembeki kwezesondo uyakwazi ukuxolela ngokwenyani. Abanye abantu abakwazi ukudlula kwimpembelelo yokuthandana, kodwa oku kubalulekile ukuze umtshato uphumelele. Kumlingane ofumanisa umcimbi, ukuxolelwa kuthetha ukuba banokuqhubela phambili kulwalamano oludlulileyo. Kwiqabane elalithandana, uxolelo lwenene luyabanceda ukuba baphilise kwihlazo kwaye baphile ngaphandle koloyiko lwesityholo esiqhubekayo.

Umlingane owayenomdla wokufumana ulwazi olufunekayo malunga nokuba kutheni emva kokungathembeki ngokwesondo. Ukufuna uncedo kumcebisi womtshato kubalulekile ekuncedeni kule nkqubo. Ukuze uzikhusele ekuziphatheni okuphindayo, ekunokwenzeka ukuba, umntu kufuneka aqonde izinto ezahlukeneyo ezazidlala xa wayekhetha ukungathembeki.