Umxholo
- Sebenzisa ukuqiniswa okuqinisekileyo
- Kutheni ungamyeki umntwana wakho achaze iimvakalelo zakhe?
- Andifuni ukuba umntwana wakho azive ebuhlungu
- Vumela umntwana wakho ukuba azive iimvakalelo zabo
Ukuba unabantwana ngoku, naphi na phakathi kweminyaka emibini ukuya kweli-18, uziva njani ukuba wenza njengomzali?
Ngaba ubanikile indawo yokukhula njengabantu ngabanye? Ngaba ubanike indawo eninzi kakhulu?
Ngaba ungqongqo kakhulu kwaye unzima?
Ngaba kulula kakhulu ... Ukuzama ukuba ngumhlobo wabo osenyongweni?
Ukuba ngumzali ngumsebenzi onzima. Ukuba ucinga ngako, akukho sizukulwana silungile.
Ndanditheni?
Ukusukela namhlanje, akukho sizukulwana sinayo yonke le nto yokuba ngumzali. Kwaye ayisiyonto incinci kuye nawuphi na umzali, kungenxa yamaxesha aguqukayo, uxinzelelo olunathi namhlanje olwalungekho kuthi 20, 30 okanye 40 kwiminyaka eyadlulayo nezinye izinto ezininzi.
Ndikhumbula ngo-1980 xa ndandihlala nentombi yam yokuqala ndinomntwana, ndaza ndamxelela ukuba ndiza kuba ngoyena mzali ungcono, kodwa andizukuyenza yonke into eyenziwa ngabazali bam ndisengumntwana.
Kwaye ndicinga ukuba abazali bam benze umsebenzi olungileyo, into andinakuyivuma de ndibeneminyaka eyi-30. Kodwa okwangoku, zininzi izinto ezenziwayo xa ndandisengumntwana ongekhe uzenze namhlanje ... Okanye ubuncinci akufuneki uzenze.
Kodwa nantsi indida. Nangona ndimxelele kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa andizukuba yi-sergeant ye-drill, emenza ukuba atye yonke ipea kwipleyiti yakhe ngaphambi kokuba ahambe ayokudlala ... Okanye ukufumana idessert ... Qikelela ntoni?
Ngokukhawuleza nje ukuba akwazi ukuqala ukutya yedwa, ndajika ndaya kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa yamaNazi. Ndaye ndenza kanye le ndandimxelele ukuba andinakuze ndiyenze ... Mqondise ngqo, ngokungqongqo kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa.
Yile nto yenziwe ngabazali bam, kwaye yile nto yenziwe ngabazali babo, kwaye babecinga ukuba bonke bayenza ngokuchanekileyo.
Yintoni eyenzayo, kwabanye abantwana kukutya ukutya ukuphazamiseka ... Kwabanye abantwana uxinzelelo ... Kwabanye abantwana umsindo ...
Sebenzisa ukuqiniswa okuqinisekileyo
Ngoku anditsho ukuba kufuneka uvumele abantwana bakho ukuba batye iilekese kwisidlo ngasinye ukuba kuphela kwento abafuna ukuyitya, kodwa kukho umahluko phakathi kokunyanzela ukutya emqaleni, kunye nokusebenzisa "ixesha lesidlo" ukuqiniswa okungalunganga xa kuthelekiswa "nexesha lesidlo sangokuhlwa", njengamava amahle.
Ngaba uyazi ukuba ndithetha ukuthini? Ekugqibeleni ndiyidibanisile, kodwa yathatha umgudu, kuba ingqondo yam engacacanga yayizele yile meko yokuqhuba isidlo kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa, kwaye kwathatha ixesha elide ukuyaphula. Nje ukuba ndiyaphule, ubudlelwane phakathi kwam nonyana wakhe buye basondela kakhulu.
Uthini ngawe? Ngaba unokujonga emva ebuntwaneni kwaye uthi kukho izinto ezithile ezenziwa ngabazali bakho ongasokuze uzenze? Kwaye mhlawumbi uyabenza namhlanje?
Makhe ndikunike omnye umzekelo-
Uninzi lwabazali endisebenza kunye nabo namhlanje ukusuka kwihlabathi liphela ngefowuni kunye neSkype, benza iimpazamo ezifanayo ezenziwa ngabazali babo xa kufikwa kumba wokuvumela abantwana babo ukuba bazive bezona mvakalelo zabo zinzulu.
Ngamanye amagama, ukuba intombi yakho ibuyela ekhaya ikwibanga lesithoba, kwaye inesithandwa sayo sokuqala, esimshiye namhlanje eyintombi yayo ebalaseleyo, iya kuba lusizi ngendlela engathethekiyo, ikhathazeke mhlawumbi ide ibe nomsindo.
Into eyenziwa ngabazali abaninzi kule meko, kukuba baya kuthi emntwaneni wabo “maninzi amanye amakhwenkwe apha phandle azakubangcono kuwe kunoJimmy ... Asizange simthande nyhani uJimmy ... Ungaziva ulusizi usuku olutsha ... Uyakugqitha kule nto ngokukhawuleza kunokuba usazi ... "
Kwaye la manenekazi namanenekazi, oomama nootata, lelona cebiso libi kakhulu onokuze ulinikeze intombi yakho encinci. Elona cebiso lililo!
Ngoba?
Kuba awumvumeli ukuba azive ... awumvumeli ukuba aveze iimvakalelo zakhe ... Kwaye kutheni?
Kutheni ungamyeki umntwana wakho achaze iimvakalelo zakhe?
Ewe esinye sezizathu kukuba yilento yenziwe ngunyoko notata kuwe, njengomzekelo endiwunike apha ngasentla, naziphi na izakhono ebesinazo ngabazali, nokuba sithe soze sizenze, amathuba okuba xa singena kwimeko yoxinzelelo Sizakuyiphendula size sibuyele kwindlela abazali bethu, abasikhulisa ngayo.
Yinyani nje.
Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba usempilweni.
Ke kuya kufuneka wenze ntoni xa umntwana wakho efika ekhaya kwaye bebekhutshiwe ngaphandle kweqela ebebeyinxalenye yalo? Okanye khange lenze iqela labadlali abadlamkileyo? Okanye iqela? Okanye iqela lebasketball?
Into ebaluleke kakhulu kukubavumela ukuba bathethe, bangazisusi iintlungu zabo, ungabaxeleli ukuba yonke into izakulunga ... kuba bubuxoki obo.
Vumela umntwana wakho ukuba aveze, azive, kwaye akhuphe. Hlala. Mamela. Mamela ngakumbi.
Esinye isizathu sokuba abazali baxelele abantwana babo ukuba yonke into izakulunga, “uyakufumana intombi okanye isoka elingcono, uzakwenza ukuba iqela lezemidlalo kunyaka ozayo lingazikhathazi ngalo nyaka.” Kungenxa yokuba Andifuni kuva iintlungu zomntwana wabo.
Andifuni ukuba umntwana wakho azive ebuhlungu
Uyabona ukuba umntwana wakho uyakhala, okanye unomsindo, okanye wenzakele ... Kwaye uhlala uthi undixelele ngakumbi malunga nendlela oziva ngayo.
Kwaye abazali abafuni ukuba abantwana babo benzakalise, ke ngoko beza nolunye uhlobo lwesiteyitimenti esihle sokuvala umntwana.
Mandiyiphinde loo nto, abazali beza nengxelo eyakhayo yokuvala abantwana babo ukuze bangaziva iintlungu zabo.
Uyayiqonda lonto?
Vumela umntwana wakho ukuba azive iimvakalelo zabo
Umgaqo wokuqala wokuba ngoyena mzali ubalaseleyo kukuvumela abantwana bakho ukuba bazive, ukuba nomsindo, ukuba lusizi, ukuba bazive bebodwa ... Okukhona uvumela umntwana wakho ukuba aveze ezona mvakalelo zakhe zokwenyani, kokukhona baya kukhula bephilile abantu abadala abancinci.
Olu hlobo lwezinto akukho lula, kwaye amaxesha amaninzi kufuneka sifikelele kubantu abafana nam ukuze sifumane umkhondo wento ekufuneka siyenzile ngokwahlukileyo ukukhulisa abantwana abasempilweni.
Sukulinda ngolunye usuku, ufumane uncedo lobungcali namhlanje, ukuze ufumane ingxelo efunekayo ukunika abantwana bakho elona thuba lilungileyo lokuchaza kunye nokuziva uvakalelo hayi ngoku, kodwa kubo bonke ubomi babo.