Ngaphambi kokuba ubeke ubomi bakho komnye, qaphela oku: Uthando alunanto yakwenza nempumelelo okanye impilo yomtshato.
Kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini yokusebenza nabantu kunye nezibini, andikhumbuli isihlandlo esinye xa umtshato wababini wawuphucukile okanye usindile kuphela ngenxa yothando ababenalo omnye komnye. Njengokudana nokumangalisa oku kunokuba kunjalo, into endiyifumeneyo endaweni yoko kukuba isimilo, amaxabiso kunye nezinye izinto ezihambelana nomntu lowo zibaluleke kakhulu kwimpumelelo yomanyano. Ngelixa uthando lubalulekile ngokuqinisekileyo, ayisiyiyo eyona nto iphambili kulondolozo lomtshato ophilileyo ... uthando luphethe umdla kuphela.
Isitshixo sempumelelo kunye nokuqhubeka komtshato ziziseko zokwakha ezisisiseko, ezibandakanya iimpawu ezinje:
- Imfesane
- Ukusondelelana
- Ukunyaniseka
- Ukunyaniseka
- Uxolelo
- Ukuvuleka
- Ubuhlobo
- Intlonipho
- Umbulelo
- Ithemba
- Ukunyaniseka
- Imbeko
- Ukuzimisela
- Ukuqonda
Ukuzazisa kunye nokuvuthwa ngokweemvakalelo ngenxa yempazamo yomntu kunye nokugweba okungalunganga kuhlala kuncinci kakhulu kuninzi lwethu. Yiyo loo nto inkcubeko exhaphakileyo yoqhawulo-mtshato esihlala kuyo. Kananjalo, intlalo "yilahle kude" eyengqondo esiyamkeleyo, ngandlel 'ithile isinika "imvume" yokuhamba ngokulula kude nento engasebenziyo ... kodwa, ndiyaphuma. Buyela kumkhondo ...
Iyacetyiswa Ikhosi yangaphambi komtshato
Ukuthintela uqhawulo-mtshato, Ndiyabakhuthaza abathengi ukuba baqwalasele iimpawu zabo, ukukhula ngokweemvakalelo, iindlela zonxibelelwano kunye nezinye izinto zokuhambelana ngaphambi kokuba bazibophelele emtshatweni. Ewe, olu khuthazo luhlala luhlangatyezwa kukuchasana, ukudideka, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha umsindo ochasayo. Izibini ezithandanayo ziyaxhathisa, njengoko icela umngeni kumda kunye nokucinga kwayo ukuba uthando luya koyisa konke. Ukuba thina (abaxumi] kunye nam) sifikelela kwisivumelwano sokuba kufuneka kwenziwe umsebenzi wokwakha isiseko somtshato esomeleleyo, kugxilwe ekuthabatheni uxanduva lobuqu ... ngokunyaniseka nangenyaniso ... ngazo naziphi na iintsilelo.
(Qaphela: Ukunyaniseka ngamava angaphakathi okucinga, imvakalelo, ukugweba, imvakalelo, kunye nemvakalelo yomzimba. Inyaniso – kwelinye icala ziinyani okanye amanyathelo athathiweyo anokujongwa okanye alinganiswe kwilizwe langaphandle. Iinyani azihonjiswanga.) Ukulandela nayiphi na inkcazo efunekayo yokucaciswa kweempawu ezahlukeneyo, ndicela abathengi ukuba bagcwalise ezi zivakalisi zilandelayo ukuqala inkqubo yokuthatha uxanduva lomntu ukomeleza isimilo (okt, ukudala iibhloko zokwakha):
Ukuba ndiza kuthembeka ngokupheleleyo kum, kuya kufuneka nditsho ukuba ndinomsebenzi ekufuneka ndiwenzile kwezi ndawo zilandelayo ...
Ndiyakholelwa ukuba ndifuna uncedo ngokuphucula kwezi ndawo zilandelayo ...
Upapasho oluhlonitshwayo lukaGqirha Jerome Murray, Ngaba Uyakhula okanye Uyaluphala?, Ixoxa ngokuvuthwa okunxulumene nobukrelekrele bemvakalelo ngokuchasene neminye imilinganiselo eqhelekileyo yobudala. Ubhala ukuba imilinganiselo emihlanu yobudala ibeka ukukhula komntu ngale ndlela ilandelayo:
Ubudala bexesha Ubudala bamaxesha ngumlinganiso wexesha umntu aliphilayo-ubudala bakhe kwiminyaka.
Ubudala bePhysical -Iminyaka yokuma komzimba ibhekisa kwinqanaba apho iinkqubo zomzimba zikhule khona xa kuthelekiswa nobudala bexesha.
Iminyaka yobukrelekrele - Iminyaka yobukrelekrele ibhekisa ekubeni ubukrelekrele bomntu bungezantsi, ngasentla, okanye bulingana nexesha lakhe lokulandelelana.
Iminyaka yoLuntu -Ixesha lentlalontle lithelekisa ukukhula kunye nexesha lokulandelelana. Ibuza umbuzo; "Ngaba lo mntu udibana nabantu ngokwentlalo yakhe njengoko kufanelekile kule minyaka yakhe?"
Iminyaka yobudala -Emvakalelo, njengobudala bezentlalo, uthelekisa ukukhula ngokweemvakalelo kunye nobudala bexesha. Ibuza umbuzo; "Ngaba lo mntu uyazilawula iimvakalelo zakhe ngendlela efanelekileyo kubudala bakhe?"
Ugqirha Murray uqhubeka kupapasho lwakhe ukubonelela ngeempawu zokungakhuli ngokweemvakalelo kunye neempawu zokukhula ngokweemvakalelo, kulandele iindlela ezimbalwa zokukhula ngakumbi ngokweemvakalelo. Ukukhula ngokwasemoyeni kuya kuwenza umohluko ngohlobo olusombululwa ngalo ungquzulwano, ulungelelwaniso lwenziwe, kunye nezigqibo ezifezekisiweyo. Ukulwa i-gogo (kulungile ngokuchasene nokungalunganga) kuxhaphakile kulwalamano lwezibini ezingenabuchule ekunxibelelaneni ngendlela evuthiweyo ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngenye indlela yokuzithemba.
Izitayile zonxibelelwano ziwela kwelinye lamacandelo amane:
- Ukwenziwa,
- Ndlongondlongo
- Umsi-ndlongo-ndlongo
- Ukuqinisekisa.
Kunqabile ukuba izibini zibonise iindlela zonxibelelwano ezifanayo. Yiyo loo nto "ukungaqondani" okwenzekayo okukhokelela ekulweni i-ego. Isimo, ukukhula, unxibelelwano, inkolo / iinkolelo zokomoya, iinjongo zomntu nezobungcali, iimfuno zendlela yokuphila, ezemali, umdla osondeleyo ngokomzimba, njl.
Umsebenzi esizimisele ukuwufaka luTHANDO.
Zonke izinto ziyatshintsha xa sisenza njalo. UDavid Whyte