Umxholo
- 1. Bazinikele omnye komnye ngenxa yezizathu ezifanelekileyo
- 2. Babengalindelanga ukuba umtshato ube sisisombululo kuzo zonke iingxaki zobomi
- 3. Ukuze uthando luhlale luhleli kufuneka kuhlale kukho intlonipho
- 4. Unxibelelwano oluhloniphekileyo lukhona, nokuba kuxoxwa
- 5. Ukuzithanda kuza kuqala
- 6. Uxolelo soloko lusondele
- 7. Badibanisa ngeendlela ezininzi, kubandakanya isondo
- 8. Abazilibali izinto ezincinci
Ngaba ukhe unqwenele ukuba ubekhona umgaqo wobugqi onokuwulandela ukuqinisekisa ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buya kuhamba ixesha elide? Isikhokelo esibonise amanyathelo ekufuneka uwalandele ukuze wena neqabane lakho niphile ngokonwaba naphakade?
Ewe ayisiyomlingo ncam, kodwa kukho amanqaku aqhelekileyo awonwabisayo, nolwalamano lwexesha elide. Makhe sijonge ezi mpawu zonxibelelwano oluhlala luhleli kwaye sibone ukuba singafunda ntoni.
1. Bazinikele omnye komnye ngenxa yezizathu ezifanelekileyo
Amaqabane aqhayisa iminyaka engama-20, engama-30 okanye engama-40 yomtshato (okanye nangaphezulu) asixelela ukuba bakhethene ngezizathu ezifanelekileyo. Abazange batshate ngenxa yoxinzelelo ekuhlaleni, okanye ngenxa yokuba nesithukuthezi, okanye ngenxa yokuba omnye wabo wayejonge iqabane labo “ukulungisa” ubuntwana obubi okanye olunye umothuko.
Hayi, batshatile kuba babelithanda iqabane labo kuba lalililo ngoko nangoko (lingatshati "amandla" alo, kodwa "ngoku"), kwaye baziva benonxibelelwano olufanelekileyo nabo. Bakwatsho ukuba beza kubudlelwane benemithwalo encinci okanye engasonjululwanga yeemvakalelo, ke babenengqondo ephilileyo xa bezibophelela kumaqabane abo.
2. Babengalindelanga ukuba umtshato ube sisisombululo kuzo zonke iingxaki zobomi
Ixesha elide abantu abatshatileyo bangene emtshatweni wabo benolindelo olusengqiqweni.
Babethandana ngokunzulu, ewe, kodwa bebeqonda ukuba iqabane labo alinakho ukuzalisekisa zonke iindima eziyimfuneko kubomi obulungeleleneyo. Babengalindelanga ukuba iqabane labo libe ngumondli, umhlobo osenyongweni, umqeqeshi wezemidlalo, umqeqeshi wobomi, umntwana ogcina abantwana, ugqirha wezonyango, umcwangcisi weholide kunye nobuchule bemali.
Baye baqonda ukuba wonke umntu unendawo yakhe eyomeleleyo nebuthathaka, kwaye okokugqibela, ukukhuphela ngaphandle yeyona nto iphambili kuzinzo lwesibini. Baye bakubona ukubaluleka kokugcina ubuhlobo bangaphandle buqhubeka kwaye benza obutsha, ukuze amaqabane omabini enze izinto ezizimeleyo omnye komnye.
Izibini ezindala zikhankanye ulwazi lokuba uthando luthamba kwaye luyahamba, kwaye umtshato awuzukuthetha uthando kunye nemisebenzi yomlilo yonke imihla yonyaka. Banikwe amandla kwiintsuku ezisezantsi, besazi ukuba ekugqibeleni bathande amalungelo ikhosi yayo kwaye unxibelelwano luyabuya ukuba umntu uzimisele ukusebenza ngamaxesha anzima.
3. Ukuze uthando luhlale luhleli kufuneka kuhlale kukho intlonipho
Awudingi mbeko yokuwela kwinkanuko.
Zizinto zobusuku obunye bobusuku. Kodwa kuthando oluhlala luhleli, isibini kufuneka sihloniphane sithandane. Ufuna ukukhangela umntu onexabiso, imigaqo yokuziphatha kunye nokuziphatha okuhambelana nokwakho.
Ukuba azikho, akunakulindeleka ukuba ubudlelwane bube nzulu kwaye bunentsingiselo. Kwaye, imbeko ngokuqinisekileyo yenye yezona mpawu ziphambili zobudlelwane obuhlala buhleli.
4. Unxibelelwano oluhloniphekileyo lukhona, nokuba kuxoxwa
Amaqabane abhiyozela iminyaka emininzi yobomi bomtshato athi bayanxibelelana kakuhle, kwanaxa kuphakama imbambano.
Ababheneli kumagama abo okanye bazisa iingxaki ezidlulileyo xa besilwa. Basebenza kulungelelwaniso kunye nendlela enobubele, ukumamela izimvo zomnye nomnye kwaye bayakuqinisekisa ukubonisa ukuba baviwe. Bayazi ukuba into ethethwayo ayinakuze ithethwe, ke bayigcina engqondweni xa iingxoxo ziba shushu.
Into yokugqibela abanokufuna ukuyenza kukulimaza oyena mntu bamthandayo (nokuba bayaphikisana).
5. Ukuzithanda kuza kuqala
Jonga ezinye zezibini zexesha elide kwaye uya kuqaphela ukuba bayazinyamekela kwaye bayakhathalelana. Basebenza ukugcina impilo yabo yasemzimbeni nasengqondweni.
Oku kuthetha ukuba banika ixesha lokuziqhelisa umdlalo abawuthandayo. Ukuba iqabane labo alikho ebhodini ngokukhetha kwabo, akukho nto inkulu, baya kuzenzela ngokwabo. Omnye unokuba yimbaleki, enye enye ifeni yeyoga, kwaye bayawavumela la maxesha odwa njengoko besazi ukuba le yinxalenye yolwalamano olusempilweni.
Ukuba omnye okanye omnye uziva isidingo sokusebenza kwimiba ethile yengqondo kunye nonyango lwangaphandle, kukho inkxaso kunye nenkuthazo yoku.
Ubudlelwane obusempilweni bubuso babantu ababini abasempilweni, kwaye izibini ezide ziya kukwazi oku.
6. Uxolelo soloko lusondele
“Ungaze ulale unomsindo” yingcebiso eqhelekileyo esiye sayiva, kwaye izibini ezitshatileyo zexesha elide ziyithatha nzulu le nto. Ngokuqinisekileyo, bayalwa. Kodwa bayawusebenza lo mbandela, bethatha ixesha elifunekayo ukufikelela kwisisombululo, emva koko bakubeka emva kwabo.
“Uxolo” kwaye “ndikuxolele” ziyinxalenye yesigama sabo. Ababambeki ingqumbo, kwaye, njengoko kuchaziwe apha ngasentla, abawukhuphi umsindo wakudala ukuze baxhase umlilo wokungavisisani okutsha. Izinto ezidlulileyo zidlulileyo, kwaye ziyaxolelwa. Kwaye njengentlonipho, ukuxolela lolunye lweempawu eziphambili zobudlelwane obuhlala buhleli.
7. Badibanisa ngeendlela ezininzi, kubandakanya isondo
Ewe. Kukho izibilini kwi-libido, ngokuqinisekileyo, kodwa ixesha elide izibini ziya kuhlala zifumana indlela yazo ebuyela kwigumbi lokulala ekugqibeleni. Ukuba bafumanisa ukuba isondo sidlulile, bayazi ukuba oku kuthetha ukuba enye into icinyiwe kubudlelwane kwaye abonqeni ukubuza iqabane labo ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni.
Ukwabelana ngesondo rhoqo kubalulekile ukuhlala unxibelelana.
8. Abazilibali izinto ezincinci
Ngaba uyazi ukuba izibini ezitsha zithathela njani ingqalelo kwinto encinci yothando? Bazizisa njani iintyatyambo, bathumelelana imiyalezo ebalaseleyo, kwaye banike izipho "ngaphandle kwesizathu"?
Ixesha elide izibini aziyeki ukwenza oku emva kokuba iblush yokuqala yothando lwantlandlolo luphelile.
Isipha esimangalisayo, inqaku lothando nje lokuthi "ndicinga ngawe" ... ezi zinto zincinci zichukumisayo zisathetha lukhulu kwaye zigcina unxibelelwano luhamba iminyaka. Ngokuqinisekileyo ezi ziimpawu zobudlelwane obuhlala buhleli.