Umxholo
- Ukoyisa indlela evulekileyo
- Ukugqithisa indlela evaliweyo
- Ukubaluleka kokulinganisela
- Ukubonisa inkathalo nothando
Kwiposti yam yokugqibela "Indlela engaphaya kobunzima obukhulu kunxibelelwano", ndithethe ngokubuza imibuzo njengecebo lokunxibelelana ngokukhululekileyo okusoloko kusetyenziswa ziingcali zonyango kodwa kukwasetyenziswa phakathi kwamaqabane. Ndacacisa noncedo lwazo zombini iindlela eziValiweyo neziVulekileyo zonxibelelwano. Umbuzo onomdla uqinisekisa ngokwendalo kuba umntu oveza umdla ufuna ukwazi ngakumbi malunga nomnye. Kwangokunjalo, ukuxelela iqabane lakho ukuba ucinga ntoni ngokuthe ngqo kunokwanelisa ukuthanda ukwazi okungafihlisiyo okanye ukungafihli umbono wabo okanye uluvo lwabo. Ngale ndlela, ezi ndlela zimbini zinokuhambelana. Umzekelo, intetho enomdla ("Ndifuna ukwazi ukuba baninzi kangakanani abantu abachonga njengabantu abadlulayo.") Inokulandelwa yingxelo evulekileyo ("Ngolwazi lwakho, ndingumthumeli.")
Ukoyisa indlela evulekileyo
Kodwa, akukho lungiswa lula, kuba kuhlala kukho imigibe. Iindlela ezivulekileyo, ukuba kugqityiwe, kunokubandakanya ukubuza imibuzo emininzi ngaphandle kokuchaza ngokwaneleyo. Umntu xa ebuza imibuzo emininzi nangaluphi na uhlobo unokuziva ngathi "bakule ndawo" okanye banokuziva begwetywe ukuba impendulo bayifumene gwenxa. Ingabonakala ngathi "udliwanondlebe" unokuba nempendulo kwaye "umntu ekwenziwa udliwanondlebe naye" ukwindawo ekuqikelelwa kuyo ukuba iyintoni na. Endaweni yokubhenela ekuzimiseleni kwabantu ukuba bathethe ngeziqu zabo (ukuzibamba), ukugqitha kwimodi yodliwanondlebe kungakhokelela kwiimvakalelo zokuba sesichengeni. Ukongeza, udliwanondlebe unokubonwa njengokufihla ulwazi lobuqu ngasemva komnqweno wokwazi nzulu nangakumbi ngokusondeleyo ngaphambi kokuba udliwanondlebe azive ekulungele. Nangona "yintoni" kwaye "njani" kujongwe ukuvula nayiphi na impendulo enokwenzeka, ukuba umntu uphendula ikakhulu ngemibuzo emininzi, iqabane lencoko lingaqala ukuziva ngathi liphawulwe ngokwenza umthambo "kwimigodi yedatha". Ukukhangelwa kwenkcazelo yobuqu kunokuziva kunyanzelekile okanye ngaphambi kwexesha ngaphambi kokuxelwa okwaneleyo kolwazi lomntu ngamnye kumacala omabini kuseta umxholo wokumema kunye nokunikezela umnqweno wokwabelana ngolwazi oluthe kratya.
Ukugqithisa indlela evaliweyo
Iindlela ezivaliweyo, ukuba zigqithile, zinokubandakanya ukubuza imibuzo emininzi kakhulu enesiphumo esifanayo nesibetho sokufuna ukwazi okungaphaya. Umahluko obalulekileyo wokuzoba apha kukuba injongo ephambili yeendlela ezivaliweyo kukuhambisa ulwazi, ngelixa eyona njongo iphambili yeendlela ezivulekileyo kukumema ukwabelana ngolwazi ngendlela exabisekileyo. Ngelixa ukumema ukwabelana ngolwazi lomntu buqu kungadlulisa imvakalelo yokuxabiseka, inokushiya iqabane liziva ngathi licinyiwe ngokungathi lowo ufuna ukungafuni ukuphindisela ngeembono ezizezabo. Nokuba imibuzo evaliweyo okanye evulekileyo iyasetyenziswa, umbuzo onomdla ogqithisileyo, ovaliweyo unokubonakala ungenanto kwezimvo, kunqabile ukuba unikezele ngezinto ezaneleyo zokutsala imfuno yokugcina incoko enomdla. Ukukhula kokuthembana kungabingelelwa kwaye iqabane elifunxwayo linokushiya liziva lisemngciphekweni, liphelile, kwaye lingonelisekanga.
Ngokwahlukileyo, xa iindlela ezivaliweyo zigqithisiwe, ngakumbi ekusebenzeni ngenjongo yokubonelela kakhulu ngezakho izimvo, umngcipheko umbono wokuba isithethi sibonisa kwibhokisi yesepha. Kunjengokuba kuthathelwa ingqalelo ukuvavanya inqanaba eliqhubekayo lomdla kummameli akuhoywanga. Ukongeza, isithethi sinokubonwa sinobuthathaka obuncinci kulwimi lomzimba obonisa ukungabikho komdla kumlingane wakho. Iimpawu zokudinwa, isithukuthezi, okanye umnqweno wokushiya unxibelelwano kunokubonakala ngathi ukungahoywa ngabom okanye ukungahoywa ngokugqithisileyo, ukufumana nje inqaku elibonisa kuphela umdla wesithethi kwaye akukho nto iyenye. Inzame encinci yokusebenzisana ibonakaliswa zizithethi kunye nabaphulaphuli banokushiyeka beziva bengasebenzi, becaphuka, okanye becaphuka kukusilela kwengqwalaselo abasandula ukuyibona.
Akucaci okona kubi ngakumbi, umdla wokufuna ukwazi-umntu omkhulu ongenalo uluvo okanye umhlohli ovaliweyo okonwabelayo ukuva intetho yakhe yokuncokola kangangokuba wonke umntu kubaphulaphuli angahamba kwaye uya kube esathetha. Umntu usenokungabinakho kwaphela ukwenza igalelo; omnye angazuza ngokuthetha bodwa kunaye nabani na. Akukho kugqithisileyo kubonakala kunomdla wokulandela ubudlelwane obuzuzisayo.
Ukubaluleka kokulinganisela
Endaweni ethile emgceni, ibhalansi kufuneka ifunwe kwiinjongo zezi zinto zimbini ezigabadeleyo. Ngamanye amaxesha, kwaye rhoqo kubathengi endibabona kunyango lwesibini, omabini amaqabane asondele kakhulu kumhlohli, elinde kuphela ukufumana uluvo lwakhe kwelinye, engakhange ajonge ukuba ikhona na inxenye yezimvo zabo umdla okanye kude kuqondwe ngumphulaphuli. Ukucinga okulandelayo kukuba inqaku lencoko ayikokumamela ukuqonda kodwa kukuveza umbono wakhe kwindawo yomoya kwimeko yokuba iqabane lakho linokuthi limamele kwaye likhathalele ngokwaneleyo ukuba liqonde. Kwizithethi, ubungqina bokuba iqabane liyakhathala kuxa iqabane limamele kwaye lizama ukuqonda. Ukushiya kwizixhobo zabo, kunqabile ukuba ndibone itshekhi ecacileyo yotyalo-mali, okanye ukuqonda. Ukugxila rhoqo kakhulu kuphela ekuchazeni amanqaku okujonga kuphumela kumathuba aphosiweyo okujonga ukuqonda kwaye, okona kubaluleke ngakumbi, ukukhupha utyalomali kubudlelwane njengokubaluleke ngakumbi kunakweliphi na umbono onikezelwe emoyeni. Oku kuphakamisa ukubanakho koqeqesho kwizibini ezitshatileyo ukuba zijolise ngononophelo kwaye ziqhube kule miba yeenjongo zazo.
Ukubonisa inkathalo nothando
Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu ekuqalisweni nasekugcinweni kobudlelwane obusondeleyo kuyaqhubeka kunye nemiboniso yesiqhelo yokukhathalela ubudlelwane ngokwabo. Le miboniso yenkathalo iza ngeendlela zomlomo kunye nezingezizo zomlomo. Ukuchukunyiswa kwesandla, ingalo egxalabeni, intetho ethi “Ndiyakuthanda,” “Ndiyayikhathalela le nto uyicingayo, nangona ndisenokungavumi rhoqo,” okanye “Singayifumana le nto, nangona indlela enzima ngenene, ekhathazayo ”. Ezi zizinto ezamkela umceli mngeni kubudlelwane obuzisa kumaqabane ukoyisa iyantlukwano kunye nokugxila kwiprojekthi abanayo ngokufanayo, isizathu sokudibana kwabo kwindawo yokuqala, kunye nesizathu sokuba bazingise kubudlelwane nabanye. Ezi zikhokelo zixabisa ubudlelwane-zombini ubunzima kunye namandla abo. Nokuba yeyiphi enye into ethethwayo, eli lelona candelo libalulekileyo lokuqinisa kuwo onke amathuba. Ukuba sinento esinokuyifunda komnye nomnye. Ukuba sicaphukisa into ebalulekileyo komnye nomnye, ezinye zazo zinokungabi mnandi kodwa ekubandezelekeni-kufanelekile ukuzikhathalela. Kwaye ngezilingo kunye nemibhiyozo esiyibonayo xa siqhubeka nobomi bethu, ubudlelwane bethu buzalisekisa isidingo somnye nomnye sokukhathalelwa, ukuxabiswa. Olu luthando.