Umxholo
- Ukubaluleka kokwenza unyango losapho ukunciphisa ifuthe lemicimbi
- Imvelaphi encinci
- Ukhetho olwaziyo lokugoba ngasemva ukuze uzonwabise kwaye ulahle
- Ukuba ngumntu onokuthenjwa kunye ne-quasi-therapist
- Ukungafuni ukuthatha ukuma
- Ukufumana umgca wenqindi
- Ukuqonda iimvakalelo ezinomdla
- Ukukhululeka ukulawula imicimbi yakhe
- Ukuseka ithoni entsha yenkxaso nentsebenziswano
- Ukufuna unyango ngengxaki yakhe yeemood
Ndingumcebisi wexesha elide emtshatweni osebenze nezibini ezininzi bezama ukukhangela imingxunya yomtshato wesibini omtsha emva kokuba umtshato wabo wokuqala uphele kabuhlungu nangomsindo wemicimbi engasonjululwanga kunye neengxabano.
Ukubaluleka kokwenza unyango losapho ukunciphisa ifuthe lemicimbi
Uninzi lwabantu alunazi ngokwaneleyo ngokubaluleka kokwenza unyango losapho ukunciphisa ifuthe lemicimbi engasonjululwanga evela kumtshato wokuqala. Kwinqaku elilandelayo, ndiza kubonelela ngolu cwaningo lulandelayo njengomzekelo wendlela unyango losapho olubaluleke ngayo ekuzameni inkqubo yokuseka umtshato omtsha ngendlela efanelekileyo.
Kutshanje ndibone isibini esikwiminyaka ephakathi apho umyeni wayenomntwana okuphela kwakhe, unyana okwiminyaka yamashumi amabini aneminyaka. Umfazi wayengazange atshate kwaye engenabantwana. Esi sibini singene sikhalaza ukuba unyana womyeni, ngoku ahlala nabo, wenza umda kubudlelwane babo.
Imvelaphi encinci
Umtshato wangaphambili womyeni waphela kwiminyaka eli-17 eyadlulayo. Imicimbi eyonakalise umtshato yayibandakanya ukungaphazanyiswa kwemeko ye-ex-yomfazi ecaleni koxinzelelo lwezezimali (umyeni wayenengxaki enkulu yokufumana umsebenzi).
Eyona nto yayinzima ngakumbi kulwalamano yayikukuba, kule minyaka idlulileyo, umfazi wangaphambili wayekrokrela utata wonyana kunyana rhoqo. Wayebanga ukuba wayengenankathalo xa, enyanisweni, ukungahoyi kwakhe ukubonelela ngenkxaso eyaneleyo yomntwana kungenxa yobunzima bakhe ekufumaneni umsebenzi ofanelekileyo.
Ukhetho olwaziyo lokugoba ngasemva ukuze uzonwabise kwaye ulahle
Njengoko ixesha lihamba, utata wenza ukhetho olululo lokuguqa ngasemva ukuze azonwabise kwaye ateketise nonyana wakhe. Inkqubo yakhe yokucinga kukuba kuba wayebona unyana wakhe kuphela ngeempelaveki, kufuneka enze imeko entle (ngakumbi ngenxa yokuba umama wenkwenkwe wayehlala ethetha kakubi ngotata.)
Ukukhawulezisa phambili iminyaka embalwa kwaye unyana ngoku ukwishumi elivisayo.
Umfana uye wakufumanisa kunzima ngakumbi ukuhlala nonina kuba ebengekasombululi ingxaki yakhe yeemood kunye nokuziphatha okungalunganga. Ngaphandle kokuba nomsindo ongalindelekanga kunye nokugxeka, wayedla ngokuthetha naye malunga neengxaki zakhe. Unyana wayengasakwazi ukuyinyamezela le meko kwaye ngenxa yoko waya kuhlala notata wakhe.
Uyise, ngelishwa, uqhubekile nokwenza amakhowudi kwaye wamzalisa umntwana. Ingxaki yokubonisa esi sibini sisandul 'ukutshata esazisa kwiiseshoni zokucebisa izibini kukuba umfazi omtsha wazifumana ekwimeko enzima kakhulu kwaye ikhathazekile.
Wayeziva ukuba unyana womyeni wakhe wayesisiphazamiso kubudlelwane babo kuba wayehlala ekhalaza kuyise malunga nonina kunye nendlela awayeziva ngayo eswelekile kwaye efuna ukuba abe nguye.
Ukuba ngumntu onokuthenjwa kunye ne-quasi-therapist
Utata walomfana, ngenxa yoko, waba ngumntu othenjiweyo kunye ne-quasi-therapist, lo mfana wayehlala emncoma notata wakhe malunga nobunzima bukanina. Oku kwamenza utata ukuba abe noxinzelelo kwaye adandatheke. Oku kwamkhathaza kakhulu umfazi wakhe.
Ukongeza, kuyaphawuleka ukuba, kuba lo mfana kwakungalindelwanga ukuba enze imisebenzi njengomntu onekhowudi kuphela, weza kulindela utata wakhe kunye nomama wakhe ukuba ahlambe iimpahla, alungiselele ukutya, ahlawule iselfowuni, i-inshurensi yemoto. , njl.Oku yayinomsindo omkhulu emfazini kwaye yaba luthambo lwangempela lwembambano.
Ukungafuni ukuthatha ukuma
Inkosikazi / umama wesibini uziva ngathi akulunganga kwaphela ukuba unyana aphathe igumbi lakhe lokulala "njengendawo yokulahla inkunkuma". Engqondweni yakhe, igumbi lakhe elingenantlonelo laye laba yinto yezempilo. Unyana wayeza kulahla izisongeli zokutya ezisemgangathweni kwaye wayexhalabile ukuba iimpuku kunye nezinambuzane ziya kungena endlwini yonke. Uye wacenga umyeni wakhe ukuba athabathe amanyathelo aqatha kunyana wakhe, kodwa ebemathidala.
Umcimbi weza entlokweni xa umfazi omtsha / umama wesibini ejongene nomyeni wakhe omtsha ngesiphelo. Umyeni wakhe uya kuthi enze ukuba unyana wakhe aphendule ngemigangatho efanelekileyo yobudala ngokwala ukumxhasa ngokupheleleyo, afune ukuba enze imisebenzi yasekhaya, alondoloze igumbi lakhe, njl.
Ukongeza, wacela ukuba umyeni wakhe acenge unyana wakhe ukuba aphume yedwa. (Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba unyana, eneneni, wayenomthombo wengeniso osebenza ngokusisigxina kwivenkile ethengisa izinto ezithengisayo. Nangona kunjalo, utata akazange abuze unyana wakhe ukuba enze igalelo elikhulu kuhlahlo-lwabiwo mali losapho kuba le yayiyinxalenye yendlela yakhe ).
Ukufumana umgca wenqindi
Apha kulapho unyango lwasekhaya lubaluleke kakhulu kwaye lusebenza. Ndamema lo mfana kwiseshoni nganye ukuba ixoxe ngoxinzelelo lobomi kunye nembono yakhe kubudlelwane bosapho. Isimemo senziwe njengethuba lokuphucula ubudlelwane bakhe notata kunye nomama omtsha.
Ukuqonda iimvakalelo ezinomdla
Ndikhawulezisa ukwakha ubuhlobo kunye nomfana oselula kwaye wakwazi ukuphalaza imbilini yakhe malunga neemvakalelo zakhe ezinamandla, kodwa ezingathandekiyo malunga nonina, utata wakhe kunye nomama wakhe wesibini. Uye wathetha malunga nokungahambelani kunye noloyiko malunga nokuzimela ngakumbi.
Ngethuba nje elifutshane, nangona kunjalo, ndakwazi ukumcenga ngokufaneleka kokuhlala eflethini nabahlobo.
Ukukhululeka ukulawula imicimbi yakhe
Ndacacisa ukuba, ekukhuleni kwakhe buqu kunye nophuhliso, kwakubalulekile kuye ukuba azenzele lula kwimicimbi yakhe kwaye aphile ngokuzimeleyo. Emva kokuzibandakanya ngempumelelo nalo mfana kwinkqubo yokuthatha ubunini balo mbono, ndamema kwisibini esitshatileyo kwiseshoni yosapho kunye nalo mfana.
Ukuseka ithoni entsha yenkxaso nentsebenziswano
Kwiseshoni yosapho, kwakubalulekile ukuseka ithoni entsha yenkxaso kunye nentsebenziswano phakathi komfana nomama womtshato wesibini. Ngoku wayekwazi ukumbona njengomlingani owayenomdla kakhulu engqondweni, kunokuba abe ngumfazi wesibini.
Ukongeza, utata wayenako ukutshintsha ithoni kunye nobudlelwane bakhe ngokuchaza indlela eya kuthi iqiniseke, kodwa ngentlonipho ibambe unyana wakhe ukuba aphendule kulindelo olufanelekileyo ngokweminyaka. Ekugqibeleni ndingongeza ukuba kunokuba luncedo ukuzisa umama nonyana kwiseshoni yosapho ukuqhubekeka nokulungelelanisa amandla osapho ngokubanzi.
Ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba lokuba lo mfana kungasafuneki ukuba ajongane noxinzelelo oluqhubekayo lokungonwabi kukanina, akazange afune ukuthembela kakhulu kutata ngenkxaso yeemvakalelo.
Ukufuna unyango ngengxaki yakhe yeemood
Injongo kwiseshoni yonyango yosapho kunyana kuya kuthi, ke, kukuqinisekisa ngobumnene umama ngexabiso kunye nokubaluleka kokufuna kwakhe unyango kwisifo sakhe sengqondo. Ukongeza, kuya kubaluleka ukucenga umama ukuba afune i-Therapist yenkxaso yeemvakalelo ngokuchasene nokuyalela nonyana wakhe.
Njengoko kungqinwa lolu phononongo lwamatyala, kubonakala ngokulula ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukwandisa umda wokucebisa izibini ukuba zibandakanye unyango losapho xa kufuneka njalo. Ndingabakhuthaza bonke abanyangi kunye nabathengi abanokuba ngabacebisi ngezobudlelwane ukuba baqwalasele unyango oluhlangeneyo losapho ukuba iimeko zifuna uhlengahlengiso kwinkqubo yentsapho eguqukayo.