Umxholo
- Iindlela ze-Surefire zokugcina ubudlelwane bakho xa amaxesha esiba nzima
- 1. Ukuphulaphula ngenyameko
- 2. Ukugcina indawo omnye komnye ukuze abenexesha lokonakala
- 3. Nikela / Cela uncedo
- 4. Ubusuku bomhla
- 5. Bonakalisani umbulelo kunye noxabiso omnye komnye
- 6. Fumana izakhono zokuphilisana, kwaye uxhasane ngezakhono zokulwa
Ngomhla ka-14 kuFebruwari 2018, esinye sezona zibhombu zenzeka kwisikolo sam imizuzu eli-15, ingaphantsi kwemizuzu emi-5 ukusuka kwisikolo sam samabanga aphakamileyo kunye nemizuzu eli-15 kude nezam zabucala eBoca Raton.
Ukusukela ngoko, ixesha lam elininzi lasimahla belinikezelwe ekuboneleleni ngeenkonzo ze-pro-bono kulutsha, ootitshala nabazali. Kwakhona ndaba lilungu lebhodi yombutho ongajonganga kwenza nzuzo ukuze ndincedise ekuhlaleni. Ngo-Matshi, mna nomyeni wam savala indlu yethu entsha kwaye sikwinkqubo yokufuduka. Ngempelaveki sifumene izitshixo ikwayimpelaveki ukusweleka kwabantu ababini ngokuzibulala kwenzeka eParkland.
Kutheni ndikuxelela yonke lento?
Ewe, ukuba nabantwana ababini abancinci (abangaphantsi kweminyaka emi-4), ukuba ngugqirha eluntwini ebelichaphazeleke yile ntlekele, kunye nokufudusa ikhaya lakho lonke ngaxeshanye kunokudala ubunzima kulo naluphi na ulwalamano, kwaye eyethu ibingahlukanga. Ngamaxesha anje kukho izinto ekufuneka uzenzile kubudlelwane bakho ukuze uphile ngamaxesha anzima.
Iindlela ze-Surefire zokugcina ubudlelwane bakho xa amaxesha esiba nzima
Kwakukho amaxesha anzima, umzabalazo kunye nokungavumelani ngendlela yokulawula ixesha lethu kunye nokujongana nemiba eyahlukeneyo yobomi bethu. Oku kuzisa kumxholo wale bhlog- Izibini ezisempilweni zijongana njani namaxesha anzima?
Ngokoluvo lwam, into yokuqala ekufuneka uyiqapheleyo ubudlelwane ngumsebenzi wemihla ngemihla.
Ukuba ufuna ukuba nobudlelwane obomeleleyo, obulungileyo kunye nezinye zakho ezibalulekileyo uyisebenzele yonke imihla.
Abanye abantu banokuthi kubo ngoku - yonke imihla? Ewe! Yonke imihla! Inkcazo emfutshane kule ngxelo kukuba ukuba iqela ngalinye kubudlelwane liqinisekisa ukuba liyaqinisekisa ukufezekisa iimfuno zamaqabane abo ukuze bonwabe ngothando olungenamiqathango kunye nenkxaso ke akukho sizathu sokuba omabini la maqela angangonwaba kakhulu, kunene?
Ndilifumene eli nqaku libalaseleyo apha, kodwa Nazi ezinye iingcebiso endizifumene ziluncedo ngexesha lethu elinzima.
Ndiyazi ukuba kulula ukuyithetha kunokwenza, kodwa ukuba uhlala uhambelana nolunye lwezi zinto ndiyakholelwa ukuba ungoyisa nantoni na kwaye iya kukwenza ube sisibini esomeleleyo! Ezi ziindlela ezifanelekileyo zokoyisa isiziba esibuhlungu kulwalamano lwakho.
Aba babini uGqirha Gottman babhale uphando oluninzi malunga nesi sihloko ngokunjalo.
1. Ukuphulaphula ngenyameko
Abanye bethu bakhetha ukuphulaphula ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwaye baphoswa yinto eninzi enokunceda ubudlelwane. Xa ungamameli iqabane lakho, izinto zinokuba nzima ngakumbi kwaye zinokukhathaza kwaye zinokubangela ukuba izinto ziqhubele phambili.
2. Ukugcina indawo omnye komnye ukuze abenexesha lokonakala
Ngokufanelekileyo, kufuneka sizame ukuhlala sizolile kwaye sinyamezele iqabane lethu.
Nangona kunjalo, xa uphantsi koxinzelelo, ngamanye amaxesha elinye okanye omabini amaqabane anokufuna ukuba nomsindo kunye nokuzola. Oku akulunganga, kodwa sonke singabantu kwaye sinokuqhekeka phantsi koxinzelelo ngamanye amaxesha.
Yenza iinzame zokuba uqonde kwaye uxhase xa oko kusenzeka. Zama ukuba ngamanzi, xa uziva iqabane lakho lingumlilo. Xolela xa kukho imfuneko kwaye musa ukugcina ingqumbo kwaye uvume xa wenze impazamo.
3. Nikela / Cela uncedo
Ukucela uncedo kumaqabane ethu (kunye nosapho olwandisiweyo) ngamaxesha anzima kunokwenza izinto zibe lula. Ukwazisa iqabane lakho ukuba unengxaki kunokubavumela ukuba babe nethuba lokuqonda kunye nomonde. Ukuqonda ukuba usengxakini kunokunceda unxibelelwano ngokubhekisele kuyo. Unxibelelwano ngumba ophambili ngokubanzi.
4. Ubusuku bomhla
Ingakumbi xa izinto zinzima. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ibe lubizo oluphuma ngaphandle, kodwa lixesha lomgangatho ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kubantwana, abahlobo, usapho, njl.
Ukufumana ixesha lokunxibelelana kunye nokuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kuyinto eyimfuneko. Ukusondelana yinxalenye yako; Ukwabelana ngesondo kunokuzenza ngcono izinto. Yonwaba kunye kwaye nenze izinto eningakhange nizenze kudala.
5. Bonakalisani umbulelo kunye noxabiso omnye komnye
Nangona kunjalo, iqabane lakho ngokuqinisekileyo liyazi ukuba uyamthanda, qiniseka ukuba ubakhumbuze ngalo usebenzisa ulwimi lwabo lothando (andazi ukuba yintoni? Quiz apha). Ukwenza umntu azive ethandwa kwaye exatyisiwe kunokunceda kakhulu ngexesha lobunzima.
6. Fumana izakhono zokuphilisana, kwaye uxhasane ngezakhono zokulwa
Ukuba nexesha lakho wedwa lokwenza into oyithandayo kunye neqabane lakho elingathandiyo ukuyenza isempilweni nayo. Ukuhlala kunye namakhwenkwe / amantombazana kanye ngexesha kwenza ubudlelwane bomelele ixesha elininzi, kuyanceda ukwakha ukuthembana.
Ukuba kunzima kuwe ukufumana ezo zakhono zokujamelana nawe ungasoloko ujikela kuncedo lwangaphandle kwaye ubone ugqirha osebenza ngokukodwa kwizibini ezitshatileyo. Ukuba unayo nayiphi na imibuzo kum okanye omnye umntu weqela lam unokunceda apha.