Umxholo
- 1. Gcina iqabane lakho ngeenkcukacha zakho ezibonisa isondo
- 2. Ungaze ubazise ukuba ucinga ukuba umhlobo wabo ushushu okanye mhle
- 3. Sukuveza iimfihlo zakho
- 4. Fihla amathandabuzo obudlelwane bakho obuncinci
- 5. Fihla ukungathandi kwakho naliphi na ilungu losapho
- 6. Ungaze ubazise ukuba abazali bakho ababathandi
- 7. Musa ukubazisa ngokungathandi kwakho ngento abangenakuyitshintsha
- 8. Ungaze uthi uthanda into ebhetele nge ex yakho
- 9. Ungaze uthi khange utsale kubo kwasekuqaleni
- 10. Sukuziveza ukuba ukhe wabelana ngesondo ngcono
- 11. Zifihle zonke izinto ezimbi ezithethwa ngabahlobo bakho okanye usapho ngazo
- 12. Sukutyhila indlela oyisebenzisa ngayo imali yakho
- 13. Ungaze uthi unqwenela ukuba baphumelele
- 14. Ungayivumeli ibonise ukuba usamkhathalele kangakanani umntu wakudala
- 15. Ukuba ukhohlise isithandwa sakho sokugqibela, sukuyiveza loo nto
- Isiphelo
Usenokuba neqabane kangangexesha elithile kwaye usenokucinga ukuba lixesha lokuba uqale ubaxelele yonke into ngawe, ukusuka kwi-ex yokuqala ukuya kweyona nto ifihlakeleyo. Qhubeka ubaxelele, kodwa kukho ezinye iimfihlelo ekungafuneki bazi ngazo ngeli xesha kubudlelwane bakho. Apha ngezantsi kukho ezinye iimfihlelo ekungafanelekanga ukuba uphalaze, naxa ucinga ukuba ukhule kakhulu:
1. Gcina iqabane lakho ngeenkcukacha zakho ezibonisa isondo
Ngaphandle kwemicimbi yezempilo ebalulekileyo, njengokwazi zombini iimeko zakho ze-STD, ukuthetha ngembali yakho yesondo ngokweenkcukacha neqabane lakho elitsha ayisiyondlela yokuhamba. Ayinazibonelelo zongezwa kulwalamano lwakho konke konke. Ungamazisa iqabane lakho malunga nabantu obukade unabo kwixa elidlulileyo, kodwa zama ukungathethi ngalo ixesha elide. Ukuxoxa ngeenkcukacha zembali yakho yesondo akuyi kukunceda okanye iqabane lakho.
2. Ungaze ubazise ukuba ucinga ukuba umhlobo wabo ushushu okanye mhle
Ungaze uxelele iqabane lakho ukuba utsala nawuphi na umhlobo wabo osenyongweni. Kuhlala kucetyiswa ukuba ugcine le mfihlo yakho. UGordon, ingcali kwezothando, uthi kunokuba mnandi ukutsalwa lelinye lamaqabane omhlobo wakho kodwa ungakhange ubenalo nesini kubo. Ukuphepha incoko enjalo kuya kukunceda wakhe ubudlelwane obuhle neqabane lakho.
3. Sukuveza iimfihlo zakho
Sonke senza izinto ezithile ezothusayo xa sisodwa into eqhelekileyo. Ezinye zezi ndlela zokuziphatha; njengokutya ikeyiki epheleleyo ngelixa ubukele iTV kwimpahla yakho yangaphantsi, kufuneka igcinwe kuwe. Ingcali kwezothando, u-Erica Gordon wabhala ukuba olo lwazi alunazibonelelo kulwalamano lwakho, enyanisweni, lubulala imfihlelo kunye nothando kubudlelwane. Ke ngoko iqabane lakho alinasidingo sokwazi ngalo.
4. Fihla amathandabuzo obudlelwane bakho obuncinci
Wonke umntu unentandabuzo yobudlelwane nokuba ubudlelwane babo bungade, okanye obutsha. Uya kuzifumana ubuza malunga nemicimbi emincinci enokuthi ikwenze ucinge ngobume bakho bobudlelwane. Ukuba lixesha lakho lokuqala ukuziva oku akufuneki ungxamele iindaba kwiqabane lakho. Kungenxa yokuba iya kuphakamisa amanqanaba okunganqabiseki kunye neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu kwiqabane lakho ezinokuthi zibeke ubudlelwane bakho esichengeni. Amaxesha amaninzi kuya kufuneka ufunde ukwenza iimvakalelo zakho ngaphandle kokuba izinto ziya zikhula kwaye zomelele kwaye emva koko unokwabelana neqabane lakho.
5. Fihla ukungathandi kwakho naliphi na ilungu losapho
Le yimfihlo enzima ukuyigcina kwaye ibaluleke kakhulu. Akufuneki uthi uyabathanda okanye ungathi uyabacaphukela. Ukuba imikhwa yabo imibi baya kuthi baziswe ekukhanyeni bodwa kwaye abasayi kuphinda bakukhathaze.
6. Ungaze ubazise ukuba abazali bakho ababathandi
Oku kuyakuhlala kusenza iqabane lakho lenze ngokungathandekiyo okanye licaphukise xa usondele kubo. Oku kuyakwenza ukuba bathande iqabane lakho nangaphantsi, ke, ayisiyiyo eyona nto intle ukubaxelela. Iya kubenza bajike babe ngumntu ongamkelekanga kubazali.
7. Musa ukubazisa ngokungathandi kwakho ngento abangenakuyitshintsha
Akufuneki unyaniseke ngayo yonke into. Ayisiyiyo yonke into okhalaza ngayo kwiqabane lakho eya kusonjululwa kwaye izikhalazo akufuneki zihlale zikhohlakele kuye. Ukuba ubathanda ngokunyanisekileyo uya kuncama ezinye zeemeko kwaye ziya kukukhathaza ngendlela encinci.
8. Ungaze uthi uthanda into ebhetele nge ex yakho
Akukho sidingo sokuncokola nesithandwa sakho malunga nento oyithandayo kakhulu kwiqabane lakho langaphambili. Mhlawumbi izinto ebenizonwabisa ngokuzonwabisa ngaphambili okanye bekumnandi ngakumbi ukuba kunye, nokuba kunjalo, kuya kuzisa izibonelelo zero kuni nobabini. Kuya kufuneka uchithe ixesha elininzi wakhela kwizinto ozifundileyo kubudlelwane bakho obutsha kwaye ungazithelekisi ezi zinto zimbini.
9. Ungaze uthi khange utsale kubo kwasekuqaleni
Umtsalane uhlala usakha emva kokuba umazi ngcono iqabane lakho. Ukuxelela iqabane lakho ukuba kuthathe ixesha ukuba utsalwe kubo kusenokungahambi kakuhle nabo. Nobabini ngokucacileyo nidibene ngenjongo kwaye ke akukho sidingo sokwabelana malunga nezinto onomdla kuzo ngaphambili.
10. Sukuziveza ukuba ukhe wabelana ngesondo ngcono
Le yenye yezona mfihlo zibalaseleyo onokuzigcina kuwe. Mhlawumbi unokuba namaxesha okulala angcono kunye nesithandwa sakho esidlulileyo. Ayisiyonto ukuxelela isithandwa sakho esitsha kuba befuna ukuva ukuba zezona zilungileyo nangona kunjalo. Kufuneka ulibale ixesha lakho elidlulileyo kwaye ujonge ekwakheni ubudlelwane bakho obutsha kunye nendlela yokuguqula iqabane lakho libe sisithixo okanye isithixokazi sesini.
11. Zifihle zonke izinto ezimbi ezithethwa ngabahlobo bakho okanye usapho ngazo
Kuhlala kucetyiswa ukuba ungalixeleli iqabane lakho malunga neziphumo ezibi ezinokuthi zibe nabahlobo bakho okanye usapho kubo. Ezi zinto zinokuba buhlungu kwaye kungabikho lula ukubuyela kuzo. Abayi kuze babalibale kwaye bangabusebenzisa njengobungqina bokuba abahlobo bakho okanye usapho lwakho aluzange lubasebenzise ukubaxhasa.
12. Sukutyhila indlela oyisebenzisa ngayo imali yakho
Ngokuqinisekileyo uyazi ukuba izibini zinemali edibeneyo ngelixa zineeakhawunti zazo zebhanki. Zininzi izizathu zokuba kutheni izibini zisenza njalo. Kodwa kukho amaxesha apho kuya kufuneka uchithe imali ngokwakho xa iqabane lakho lingazi. Ukubaxelela ngendlela obusebenzisa ngayo ubunokuchitha ixesha elinokuthi emva koko uchithe imali ngendlela engalunganga.
13. Ungaze uthi unqwenela ukuba baphumelele
Umlingane wakho unokuba nomsebenzi awuthandayo kodwa angangabashiyi bezizityebi. Okanye mhlawumbi uyazibuza ukuba kutheni bengazami kancinci kancinci ukufumana inyuselo. Ukubaxelela ngolu hlobo kungavakala ngathi akuxhasi kwaye kubuhlungu ngamanye amaxesha. Kuhlala kulungile ukugcina izimvo ezinjalo kuwe ngakumbi ukuba iqabane lakho liyasokola ebomini.
14. Ungayivumeli ibonise ukuba usamkhathalele kangakanani umntu wakudala
Ukubonisa uthando nokukhathalela i-ex yakho njengomntu owakha wanonxibelelwano kuyo kuya kwenza ukuba kubonakale ngathi ugcina olo lwalamano luphila. Oku ngekhe kumnandi xa uxelela iqabane lakho. Awunakuze uhlale okanye uthethe nabo ukuze ugcine iqabane lakho likhuselekile.
15. Ukuba ukhohlise isithandwa sakho sokugqibela, sukuyiveza loo nto
Oku kufanele ukuba kube yimfihlo oyaziyo wena ngokwakho kuba kuya kwenza ukuba iqabane lakho lingaze likuthembe ngokupheleleyo. Kungenxa yokuba uya kujonga njengomntu onganyanisekanga. Zama ukunqanda ukutyhila oku ukuze wakhe ubudlelwane bakho ngoku kwaye ubenze bomelele.
Isiphelo
Zonke ezi mfihlelo uninzi lwezibini ezinazo kufuneka zihlale ziyimfihlo kunokuba ziqhubeke kwaye zichithe yonke into. Uninzi lolwalamano luyaphumelela kuphela ngenxa yokhathalelo kunye nentlonipho esiyigcinayo ngokungagungqiyo yonke imihla. Ngalo lonke ixesha khumbula ukuba ulumke kwaye ucinge ngaphambi kokuba uxele yonke into ukuze ugcine ubudlelwane bakho buphila.